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She had got back on time from her rounds and was praying there wouldn't be an emergency to disrupt their talk about the move next week. She had taken care with her appearance ... more than she would have done for an evening out with David. In the early days of seeing her boyfriend, Kathy had enjoyed curling her hair and using powder and lipstick to please him. Now she did it mostly for pride's sake. She'd liked, too, the sensation of tingling b.u.t.terflies in her stomach as the time approached for him to turn up.
At present, the fluttering inside was caused by thoughts of a different man but her exhilaration was being dampened by doubt. She still knew very little about Nick's background yet had come naturally to trust him. She wasn't sure whether that was a good or a bad thing; he might have lied to her about his home life, or Matilda might have been mistaken in thinking he had children. She knew the only way to find out was to ask him.
Kathy moved the curtain to peer out of the front window at the road, letting it drop back as a black car slowed down outside. She didn't want him to think she was pathetically eager to see him and spying on his arrival, even though it was the truth.
Nervously, she clasped her hands together, frowning at the cups and saucers she'd set ready on the table. Perhaps he'd think her a bit mean offering him tea after work. He might prefer a beer or a nip of whisky and she'd not thought to get any ...
All things considered, a stiff drink was the least he deserved if he agreed to transport Ruby and her family and all their belongings to Islington next week.
Kathy heard the rap on the door and took a quick glance in the over-mantel mirror, smoothing her wavy fair hair before speeding to answer it.
'I hope you won't think it a cheek but ...' Kathy led the way down a narrow hallway and into her small living room, inviting him to take a seat. She nibbled her lower lip, conscious of his cool grey gaze on her as he settled back against gold upholstery. Kathy thought he looked as well groomed and attractive dressed in casual flannels as he did in a business suit. 'My meeting with Mrs Potter went far better than I imagined it would,' she continued in a rush. 'I was worried she'd think it a dreadful cheek that I'd poked my nose in.' A bashful smile followed the admission. 'But Ruby's grateful I did and wants to escape Charlie as quickly as she can. On the spur of the moment I said you'd help us with the move. Will you?'
'Of course.'
'You don't know when it is.'
Nick shrugged, settled a shoe on a knee as he leaned back in the chair. 'I said I'd help and I will, whenever it is.'
'Thanks ...' Kathy said huskily, and took the lid off the teapot, about to offer him tea.
'You'd better tell me when it is.' Nick sounded mildly amused.
'Wednesday afternoon.' Absently, Kathy put the lid back on the pot and paced to and fro. 'Ruby said Charlie's never around much these days so we should be lucky and avoid him completely.' She halted by the hearth, then sank to perch on the edge of an armchair opposite him. 'I doubt the family's got much in the way of possessions but there'll be clothes and household bits and pieces to shift. I expect the pram folds down ...'
'We'll take as much as fits into the boot. Do two journeys, if necessary, if Charlie's not about.'
'Thanks very much ...' Kathy replied. Her smile soon turned to a frown. 'Ruby had bruises on her arms again and little Pansy had a mark on her face too.'
Nick sat forward, clasped together his hands between his knees. 'I should've clumped Charlie harder when I had the chance that night the boy was born.'
'He's a vile brute.'
'A lot of men whack their kids to chastise them,' Nick stated bluntly.
'Did your father hit you? Sorry ... forgot your dad pa.s.sed away in the war,' she murmured. 'My father used to hit us but only when he thought we deserved it.' Now she knew more about Charlie Potter, she felt guilty mentioning her father in almost the same breath. Eddie Finch had been a brutal man at times, to his wife as well as his children, but he'd never seemed to relish lashing out in the way that Potter did. Kathy could recall the s.a.d.i.s.tic glitter in Ruby's husband's eyes when his fingers had been digging into her chin, dragging her upright all those months ago.
'Your father beat you?'
'Sometimes ... but I got off lightly, so did Tom. Jennifer wasn't so lucky because she used to drive him mad. I can understand why he lost control.' Kathy's laugh was humourless. 'She drives me mad and I often feel like thumping her to knock some sense into her.' She paused, sensing he was waiting for her to elaborate on her twin's infuriating ways. But Kathy felt unable to tell him anything about her alcoholic drug-addled prost.i.tute of a twin sister who was now carrying the baby of one of her clients because she hadn't managed to abort it.
'Mum would box our ears too when we were naughty,' Kathy resumed, breaking the silence. 'I know she had a lot to put up with. She always seemed unhappy ... she still does ...' Her voice faded, then sprang again into life. 'Did you drive Lottie mad?'
'Yeah ...' Nick chuckled. 'My poor old mum was always chasing me up the road to clip me ear for something or other I'd done. Bleedin' kids, eh? Who'd have 'em?'
'You?' Kathy blurted.
'Don't have any ... told you that.'
'Yes ... you did say that.'
'You don't believe me?'
'I do believe you,' Kathy said quickly, and stood up. 'Like some tea? I'll put the kettle on ...'
'Why d'you believe me, Kathy? Because you want my help shifting Ruby Potter out of harm's way?'
Kathy swung about by the table, her stare challenging his sarcastic expression. 'Are you lying then?'
'No.'
Kathy knew he was waiting for her to spit out what was on her mind. She knew too he wasn't going to make things easy for her by contributing any facts on the subject.
'Somebody just mentioned to me they thought you were a father.' Kathy let the comment flow over her shoulder as she walked away.
A small kitchenette adjoined the living room and Kathy entered it, twisting the tap to fill the kettle. She closed her eyes, praying there wouldn't be any awkward silences between them now. She should have kept her mouth shut, she told herself, at least until after the Potters had moved to Campbell Road.
'Who told you I'd got kids?' Nick had stationed himself against the doorjamb, watching her at the sink.
'Matilda. She remembered once seeing you in the pub with her nephews. One of them said your wife was pregnant. That's all I heard.'
'Blanche was pregnant. That's why I married her. She lost the baby at about five months, not long after the wedding. I expect you come across miscarriages in your job so know it happens.'
Kathy felt as though she'd shrivelled to half her size. He sounded calm and polite but she knew she'd just been reprimanded, and with good cause. 'I'm sorry to hear about it,' she murmured stiltedly, and struck a match to light the gas stove.
'I was too at the time. But it's all over now ... water under the bridge ...'
'Would you like something to eat?' Kathy was desperate to change the subject. 'I've got ...' She opened a pantry cupboard to hunt amongst the few groceries for something to put in a sandwich, hoping to find a tin of corned beef. But there didn't seem to be much other than a few ripe tomatoes and Bird's custard powder. 'I can pop out and get something,' she offered brightly. 'I need shopping and it's only on the corner ...'
'Don't worry, it's fine ... we can go out to dinner, if you like.'
Kathy felt relieved he wasn't about to disappear because the atmosphere between them had cooled. She knew she would like to go out with him but a sense of uneasiness was niggling at the back of her mind, holding back her answer. It was only fair to tell David it was over between them before accepting dinner invitations from another man. She owed him some loyalty.
'If you turn me down, I'll still take Ruby to Islington. Don't feel obliged to do anything you don't want to.'
Kathy swung about but he'd gone back into the living room and was standing by the mantel gazing into an empty grate, his hands plunged into his trouser pockets.
'I'd like to go out with you, but I just want to speak to David first. We've grown apart, so I'm sure it'll be a relief for him too when I tell him it's over. But I owe it to him to be honest.'
'Do you?' Nick said, sounding sarcastic.
'Why d'you say it like that?' Kathy frowned.
He shook his head, turning away. 'No reason ... just being a prat ...' Nick had bitten his tongue on telling Kathy that the man she was desperate to protect had been cheating on her with her own sister. He raised his eyes to her face, gave her a rueful half-smile, knowing he'd do anything rather than hurt her. 'You're a good girl, Kathy ... too decent for me, or him ... I reckon.'
'I am not!' For some reason, Kathy felt she'd been d.a.m.ned with faint praise. 'Don't make me out to be a prissy madam just because I'm a nurse, or because I don't think it's right to two-time somebody.'
'It was meant to be a compliment, sweetheart,' Nick said gently.
Kathy held her ground as he walked purposefully towards her, his eyes sultry with desire. Cupping her face he touched his lips gently to hers, stroked her cheek with one long finger. 'You tell him then, as soon as you can, and we'll go out next Wednesday, after we've got Ruby and her kids settled in with Matilda.' He paused, looking tormented by indecision. 'I'm going now but I'll see you at one o'clock Wednesday,' he said huskily, putting her firmly away from him. 'Then later at dinner I'll tell you all about myself ... warts 'n' all.'
Kathy darted to press her lips to his mouth, surprising him. Just as quickly she'd skittered back against the table before he could get a firm grip on her. It was her way of thanking him for Ruby and letting him know she was looking forward to getting to know him better.
'It's good to see you, David. You look well.'
'Nice to see you too.' David gave his past love a smile. Rachel seemed keen to be friendly so he stopped to have a chat. He avoided looking at the little b.u.mp of her pregnancy beneath her dress. He sipped bitter, hoping that he appeared blase about this meeting.
'Where's Sam got to?' David glanced around. He'd not seen his cousin amidst the folk crowding his aunt and uncle's front room for about half an hour.
'Probably talking politics with some of the other men.' Rachel sourly mentioned her husband's pet interest. 'Sam told me that you ran into one another a while ago at a Mosley rally.'
'We did ...' David thought it best not to elaborate.
'If I tell you something will you promise not to breathe a word to anybody?' Rachel suddenly whispered.
David darted her a questioning look. Her solemn dark eyes were pinned to his face.
'Oh ... it's not a romantic declaration, David.' Rachel's lips twisted in melancholy amus.e.m.e.nt. 'Don't look so scared.'
David swirled the ale at the bottom of his gla.s.s to avoid her eyes.
'Sam's worrying me,' Rachel stated bluntly.
David frowned, wondering if Sam's political conviction had forced him the wrong side of the law. If so, he'd sooner remain in blissful ignorance of any crime he'd committed.
'It's nothing illegal.' Rachel had read his mind, adding bitterly, 'It's worse than that. He's going off to Spain, and nothing I say will make him change his mind.' Her eyes filled with tears. 'Will you talk to him for me? Please tell him how mean and stupid he's being.'
'Spain?' David echoed, looking mystified. 'What in G.o.d's name for?'
A second later, David blew out his lips in a shocked sigh of enlightenment. Civil War had started recently in Spain, and was stirring up people in Britain who despised Fascist ideology. Sir Oswald Mosley might preach his venom in England but he had his counterparts in Italy and Spain in Mussolini and Franco.
David put a hand on her arm to comfort her, feeling the tremble beneath her sleeve. 'I think he's acting like a fool to even consider it. I'll speak to him, but if he won't listen to you I doubt he'll pay a blind bit of notice to anything I say.'
'Thank you ... that's kind ...' She forced a smile. 'I'll move away now in case people think it's you who's upsetting me. If only they knew the truth ...'
David managed to get Sam alone outside on the garden terrace so they wouldn't be overheard. But his cousin wasn't hiding his irritation at this interference.
'I don't know what you think you're playing at ... your wife's pregnant.' David gestured amazement.
'I'm not "playing" at anything. It's not a f.u.c.king game, is it?' Sam spat, tipping ale down his throat, then swiping the back of his hand over his mouth. 'You wouldn't understand. I bet you're mired up to your neck in corruption every f.u.c.king day, doing what you're told, like the rest of them, for a quiet life.'
'Now hang on a minute-' David started indignantly.
'No, you hang on a minute. We're Jews so should understand and condemn oppression wherever it's found.' Sam glanced at his family celebrating close by. 'I'm asking you to keep quiet for Rachel's sake 'cos I need some breathing s.p.a.ce to get my affairs in order for her, just in case ...' Sam stared at David, daring him to blab and ruin things.
David gestured defeat. 'I've nothing more to say. I heard you loud and clear: you want to be a martyr.'
'You can hear this too,' Sam snarled. 'You could have kept Rachel if you'd fought a bit harder. It was always you she wanted. Letting me have her was your way of being a martyr, was it?'
Sam strode past into the house, leaving David alone on the terrace.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX.
'I'm glad we can still be friends, David.'
Despite his gruff rea.s.surance that there were no hard feelings, Kathy had glimpsed shock and sadness in David's eyes when she'd told him it was over. It had brought a lump to her throat so she enclosed him in a spontaneous hug rather than comforting him with words. She'd not thought her news would come as a surprise or that he'd take it so badly.
'Any reason to give me?' David asked as they broke apart. He shoved a couple of fingers along the bridge of his nose, waiting for an answer.
'Apart from our families, you mean?' Kathy remarked ruefully. 'They were never going to approve of us settling down together, were they? You'd made out to your folks that we'd already parted, hadn't you?'
David had the grace to appear shamefaced at Kathy's mild accusation.
She moved away a couple of paces, staring sightlessly at the billboard advertising the film. They'd arranged to meet, as they usually did, by the cinema, but she knew neither of them now wanted to go inside for a final time, and sit together side by side in the dark for over an hour.
'Have your parents made you stop seeing me?' Kathy had mentioned that her father in particular had an aversion to policemen, but so did most working-cla.s.s men. As a wealthy merchant's son, David had felt confident his prospects would overrule any objections the Finches had to him because of his faith. The Goldsteins were non-Orthodox Jews who'd put down roots in England centuries ago. He wouldn't have proposed to Kathy and risked a rift with his parents, but his ego was bruised by her rejection; he'd imagined them carrying on as they were for the foreseeable future.
'I haven't seen Mum and Dad recently so they don't yet know we're breaking up,' Kathy answered. 'It's not just about our different upbringings and religions, is it?' Kathy gently pointed out. 'There was a spark between us but it's fizzled out. In fact, I've been wondering if you might have had your eye on another girl.'
A guilty look flitted over David's features, proof enough for Kathy that he had been playing around; it explained his moodiness over past months. Kathy had experienced similar inner conflict when trying to banish Nick Raven from her mind. Now she welcomed thoughts of him, accepting that he was the man she wanted.
'It doesn't matter ... honestly,' Kathy stressed. 'I don't mind if you've got someone else. Actually, I'm glad and wish you both well.'
'You don't know what you're saying, Kathy. If you did, you'd d.a.m.n me to h.e.l.l-' David broke off, frowning into the distance. At first, he'd feared Jennifer might blab to Kathy about their affair out of spite. He'd soon realised the s.l.u.t wouldn't risk losing the regular benefit of her sister's support, or his money. Besides, Jennifer enjoyed the thrill of their filthy sessions as much as he did and wouldn't want them to end because Kathy had discovered they were fornicating behind her back.
Kathy tilted her face, gazing into his eyes. She wouldn't miss his odd cryptic comments, and wondered whether to suggest he buck his ideas up because at times he reminded her of her maudlin sister. 'I'm sorry if I've upset you but things weren't right between us. I'm sure we can both still be happy-'
'Take no notice of me,' David interrupted, shooting her a speculative look. 'Are you keen on another fellow?'
'Somebody has asked me to have dinner with him,' Kathy immediately owned up. 'I'm going out with him next week but I wanted to tell you first rather than do it behind your back.'
A silence developed between them. Kathy realised everything that needed to be said had been said, so changed the subject to something more pleasant. 'Did the Bar Mitzvah go off well?'
David nodded. 'What did you get up to that evening? Did you stay in?'
Kathy knew he was probing to discover if she'd enjoyed herself without him. In fact, she had spent a dismal hour or so that evening with Jennifer, listening to her self-pity. Her sister had hinted she'd find a backstreet butcher to get rid of the baby as she'd had no luck bringing on a miscarriage. Mother Nature seemed unwilling to lend a hand, she'd moaned, and as n.o.body else had offered ... Kathy had received a hateful stare and had left in disgust once she'd reminded Jennifer she wasn't an abortionist.
'Did you stay in after all?' David repeated.
'I wish I had.' Kathy slowly surfaced from her miserable memory. 'I visited Jennifer but soon wished I'd not bothered.'