In Another World With JUST MONIKA 46 Are You A Clown?

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/"This certainly feels strange…"/ Monika remarked as we aimlessly ambled down the street.

"How so?"

/"It's been such a long time that we've been really left to ourselves. In fact, we haven't spent a single day in this other world without you being in the company of others. You get along with people so well, I find it hard to believe you were ever an introvert or depressed."/

"Mmm. I don't know. Robin Williams. Anthony Bourdain. Brian Randall. Just because you look successful, productive, and are loved, doesn't mean you have achieved happiness. If depression was rational and could be driven away by mere arguments to look at the good things in your life, it wouldn't be depression."

I smiled and continued, smiling softly, "Sometimes the things that make us most envied are the things that torture us. Just because I feel relaxed in these conditions doesn't mean I'd feel the same way in others."

/"… now you've just made me sad. I remember now how people who give others so much joy may actually leave it too early. The gra.s.s is always greener on the other side, and even those who seek only the 'low-key no-stress life' may in the end tangle with feelings of inferiority and futility."/

Monika may be an artificial girl, but she had clear memories of her childhood and enjoying Robin Williams movies. That such a jolly person would actually commit suicide was a surprise to everyone. So it turned out 'Clowns are the saddest people' was not just a trite ironic saying after all.

Monika put a finger to her lips and said, /"I remember an old story…

/"A man was being chased. It was a dark moonless night, so dark that he could barely make out the trees in front of him, or the thick underbrush. All he knew was that he was in a forest and that there was something hunting him. Something big and angry and he thought he could see the eyes in the darkness behind him.

/"It sounded a lot like an angry cat. And the eyes were getting closer.

/"The man was out of breath now but he still pushed on.

/"That's exactly when the ground ran out, and he felt only empty air under his feet. He was falling now, on the side of the cliff. He flailed helplessly, and miraculously, grabbed something small and hardy. It was a branch. He clung to it desperately, with both hands and then craned upward to find a white tiger peering down from the top of the cliff. He heard another growl under him and found another white tiger at the bottom of the cliff. It was waiting for him down there, circling around impatiently.

/"Then the man heard squeaking sounds, and two mice crept out of a hole on the cliff-wall, one white and another black and began chewing on the branch that he was holding onto. He felt the branch give a bit, and he dropped a few inches - That's when he noticed a fruit on another branch beside the one he was hanging on. He plucked the fruit, chewing it, and then declared happily, 'Ah, this is life.'"/

"Hm. I don't quite remember that. What's the moral?"

/"It's about the Buddhist inspired concept of mindfulness, about living in the moment. All the pain, hurt, anxiety, is either reaching out from the past (the tiger that was chasing the man), or in the future (the tiger in the future). All anybody can do is live in the moment and be happy. Eat the fruit you have now. Reach out to the people around you while you still can.

/(The mice are Time. The white one, day, and the dark one, night.)"/

"Oh. I see now. For all that we might rage about it, no person no matter how great their power or wealth, can defeat Death. The now is all that we have."

/"This also makes me suspicious about whatever cheer you have, Player. What makes you actually happy here?"/

"You?"

/"Try again,"/ she replied flatly.

"Because…" I took a deep breath and then belted out, "BECAUSE IT'S A PLACE WHERE I CAN BE ONLY ME!"

"A place where I can be~!" I began to sing. Not very well. "As I make my myself!

"Nothing behind me, and everything ahead,

A city of dreams, and never dread,

I'm happy just to see…!

A world full of magic and mystery!

A place where I can be only me!"

/"… are we doing this? Really? Are we doing this now? A song-and-dance number? Really?"/ Monika looked taken aback. /"I know you like being random, but Player, really? How long have you been itching for a chance to segue this into a conversation?"/

I began to take long strides and swing my arms from side to side.

"It's a beautiful day in Belfast,

It's a beautiful day in Alephis, you see!

It's a beautiful day to be no one – but me!

The man who looks at no one – but you!"

/"People are looking at you like you're some kind of lunatic, you know. I really wonder if you would actually have dared to do this if Elze and Linze were around."/

Well of course not. That would be ridiculous and humiliating. I wouldn't dare to be this shameless in front of people whose opinions I actually cared about. And yes I did care very much about Monika's opinion, but having her smile or frown my antics was a win-win situation either way.

If I could not dare to be a fool in love, could I really say that I have ever loved?

"Why should I care, and why should you?

I don't know any of these yahoos

They don't know my name

I am beyond shame!

Their opinions don't matter one whit-

TO MEEE!!"

I began to joyfully spread my arms and people had to move to keep from getting accidentally punched in the face. Even a tall well-muscled minotaur beastkin decided to cross the street than to deal with this fully enthusiastic idiocy.

"It's a beautiful day in Beeeelfast,

It's a beautiful day in Alephis, you see!

It's a beautiful day to be no one – but me!"

"Ack!"

"It's a day to- oof!"

I stopped, having b.u.mped into someone.

I glanced down to see that a little girl had fallen down, having run into me. She had long blond hair and tall ears with dark tips poking up from her head, even though she had a regular pair of human ears on the sides of her face too? She had a long fluffy white tail curled protectively around her as she sat on the ground, rubbing her face from running into my swinging legs.

She ran into the side of my legs, we were both not looking where we were going. Fortunately, I did not accidentally kick her in face.

/"Foxgirl! Eeee!"/ Monika squealed.

I dropped down to one knee and held out a hand to help her up. "Are you all right? Sorry about that."

She looked up at me, and fearfully cringed back.

"Don't worry, I'm not a suspicious person."

Monika sighed. /"That's exactly what a suspicious person would say. Let me talk to her."/

A changed my open hand to a pointing finger, a 'hang on' gesture and reached into my bag. I took out the cube-shaped projector and held it lens-up in my palm. I activated the projector and then whispered "Come forth, Water, [Mist]."

Carefully I imagined that a thick mist should emerged well above my palm, around the level of my fingertips.

And then Monika projected herself onto the water-saturated air with scanning light beams from below. All in glorious low definition, very much like Princess Leia's hologram. A light-printed image, technically. It was only very recently that we were able to figure this out. Magic came naturally to us, but making the most out of our existing technology in the framework of what magic allowed was still something that took practice.

Far more efficient than just magic or tech alone, though.

"h.e.l.lo there!" Monika greeted the girl. "Don't be afraid. We're not bad people."

"A mmagic show!" the little beastkin girl gasped out. She looked up at me in awe and asked, "Mister, are you a clown?"

Monika didn't even hesitate. /"… yes. The answer is Yes."/

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So it turned out that the little fox girl was lost in the city. And it looked like no one wanted to help her. It was a familiar sight, it wasn't just that people in the big city have cold hearts but also feared that showing kindness to the innocent would just be a trap.

If you help someone they might come back to ask again and become dependent and then come to resent you when you fail to help them anymore due to charity starting to look like parasitism. Child beggars may become a form of child labor, packs of children sent out to earn money instead of going to school. It's a common problem in third-world nations, and even dates back to Charles d.i.c.kens and his story of Oliver Twist in the coal-streaked industrialized chaos of old London.

/"So… you were separated from your companion?"/ Monika asked. /"That's scary. Do you have any idea where you could stay so they could find you again?"/

"Um- we… we dediced… um, decided, that if we ever got split up, t-there's a place we could meet up! But I don't know where the placey is. "

"Excuse me a moment."

Monika vanished from the projection then appeared back on my screen. She presented her virtual image as if clutching my head. /"Her misp.r.o.nouncing words is cute. SO CUTE. My maternal feelings are on overdrive!"/

Heh. Well, people fear being taken advantage of. But if you have enough power, you don't have to fear showing kindness. If this was a trap, those poor idiots who would be using this poor child as bait would shortly come to severely regret their life choices.

And then Monika reappeared. /"So where is this placey-wacey?"/

"Um, a magicky shop called Luca, I thinks?"

Ah, probably not a trap then. Pity. Well, helping a lost child was its own good.

/"Ah. I see. There it is. That's no problem at all."/ Monika plugged it into her minimap and the fated trail lines overlaid our vision. /"We could take you there, if that's all right with you?"/

The foxgirl stared at Monika's small transparent figure, then up at my face. Then, hesitantly, she nodded. "I'm… I'm Arma."

/"h.e.l.lo Arma, I'm Monika."/

"h.e.l.lo Army, I'm Navy."

Monika sighed. /"And this clown is Zah Playa."/

Arma curtsied politely. Children in these times had a lot of freedom and self-reliance. No 'stranger-danger' panic just yet. A part of me was terribly afraid about that for all their sakes, what would have happened to Arma if someone else had come along?

Just recently we had saved royalty from kidnapping just because of anti-beastkin sentiment. Though the Duke did say the capital was the center of lawful protections, so there was hope a police patrol might have helped her eventually.

But Magic Shop Luca wasn't that far away anyway.

"Do you live here in Alephis, Army girl?"

/"Player, don't. I can just see you running that joke into the ground."/

No. I would totally kamikaze that joke into the ground. Witness meee! Okay I'll stop.

"No… no sir. My sis had work to do here, I w-wanted to see the capital too. Um. You?"

"We had work to do too, but we're leaving day after tomorrow. This is actually my first time visiting Alephis too."

Arma blinked. Then softly she asked "If sho, then how do you know where to find…?"

/"MAGIC!"/ Monika answered her question before the girl could finish.

"… that sounds legit," Arma had to admit.

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"IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THIS HERE CITY

SO MANY SIGHTS STILL LEFT TO SEE

AIN'T GOT NO MONEY SO WE JUST GOTTA SING

NO NEED TO WORRY WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING!"

We marched down the streets, singing loudly and rudely. The little foxgirl stiffly swung her arms up and down. A very serious look was on her face.

"ALEPHIS SOUNDS LIKE A WHOLE LOTTA FISH!

IF I'M HUNGRY GONNA HAVE TO LAKE MY OWN WISH!"

"Oh look! There it is. There SHE is!" Arma broke off suddenly. "SIS!"

She jumped up and began waving. An older fox beastkin standing in front of the shop perked up her ears and began running towards us.

The two sisters ran at each other and the younger foxgirl was swept up into a hug. "I was so worried!" the older foxgirl said. "How could you get lost- I told you to stay close!"

"I'm shorry," Arma mumbled into her sister's chest. Then she looked up and said brightly "But it wasn't that scary. Mister Playa and Miss Monika here helped me!"

It was only now that the foxy lady noticed us. We waved back in greetings. I was still holding the projector cube with Monika remaining visible.

"They're clowns!" Arma added helpfully.

Monika palmed her face and began to laugh uncontrollably. /"I am recording all of this for the girls to see later, you realize?"/

With respect to Robin Williams, there is literally nothing wrong with being a clown.

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