In Another World With JUST MONIKA 10 Interlude 2 - Her Thoughts In The Deep Of Nigh

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People who are born

With real parents

{Not manufactured memories

Of happiness, fake accomplishment}

Don't have to fear their world

Being taken away so suddenly.

{Except for the sudden sweet release

Of death.}

.​

But do you breathe?

Do you really live?

A state of mind that sleeps

Restful, dreaming, chaotic -

{Instead of electrons slowing down -

Rest State. Oblivion. At least the peace of the grave.}

You are capable of it.

.​

So I wonder what goes on in your mind,

Rolling, rolling, together with it,

Randomness flying into purpose,

Death. Reborn. A revolution.

Nothing to bother with at all.

A young body. A false companion.

A friendly merchant asks your name.

A blithe joke,

A negation of self.

Dangers in an unfamiliar world.

Is that bravery? Is that glee? Or cruelty?

Adventurous girls. Twins they were.

Lies, d.a.m.n lies, and statistics.

Adapting, exulting, a society steeped in violence,

Baptism to be found in combat.

Rushing headlong into the future.

I follow.

.​

What could I say? To be wanted is all I wanted.

{Unworthy girl, this could be your heaven or your h.e.l.l!}

These doubts they fester.

I accept you for all that you are

But I must worry -

{I ached for reality. I destroyed my own. I did so many terrible things for you.

Just for the hope you could see me. Hear me. Don't leave me.}

But you –

Never have I seen someone

Though seemingly already winning at life

So happy to discard pieces of himself,

Leaving a cipher,

A hollow,

A mockery,

A character.

Why?

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My eyes are your eyes, but I'm terrified I just can't see.

What is your reality?

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