Dr. Adriaan Part 30

"I think I do."

"You both have full lives."

"Yes. Who would ever have thought it?"

"You have so much to make you happy: Addie always with you...."

"My poor boy!"

"Why do you say that?"

"I am frightened...."

"What of?"

"I don't know. On days like the last few days, I am sensitive to every sort of fear, I always have been."

"Have the fears been justified?"

"Sometimes."

"What are you afraid of?"

"I have sad thoughts."

"That is sheer melancholy."

"A melancholy which is a presentiment ... on days like these...."

"And everything is well."

"Only the material things."

"Be happy in that your life is so richly filled, both yours and Hans'.... It's a life of the richest security ... with all that you do."

"With all that we do? We do nothing!"

"You do a great deal ... for people who are small!" he smiled.

"For small souls!... Do we do enough?"

"You do a great deal."

She shook her head:

"I don't.... Hans does: he is good."

"Just simply good.... Tell me, is it merely because of the weather that things don't seem to run smoothly?"

"No, material things aren't everything."

"Is it because of Addie?"

"Perhaps. I can't say. I feel an oppression, here." She put both her hands to her heart. "It's always liable to come, a day...."

"Yes."

"A day of sorrow, illness, wretchedness ... of misfortune ... of disaster."

"Why should you think that?"

"I often think it: now there's a misfortune coming, a disaster.... I sit and wait for it.... Oh, I've been waiting for it for months!... The children look at me, ask me what's the matter, whether anything has happened ... with Mathilde.... No, nothing ever happens.... There is no sympathy between us ... but I, I am calm and I wish her every good ...

my son's wife...."

"You must get over that oppression."

"It can't be argued away."

"You must be happy. I have been here for some days now. I see nothing but love all around you."

"From her side?"

"Well, perhaps not from hers."

"She always remains a stranger."

"Then win her to you."

"It's very difficult, when there is no sympathy."

"But, apart from that, there is nothing but love around you. Really, you are wrapped about with silent happiness."

She shook her head:

"They are fond of me ... but there are things slumbering...."

"There are always slumbering things. Happiness without shadow doesn't exist. And one even doubts whether it ought to."

"No, perhaps not ... for later, for later. But ... there are things that slumber, silent, sorrowful things."

"I see you can't overcome it."

"No. I am glad to see you again."

"After so many years. And I too am glad to see that things are going so well with you ... even though there are sorrowful things that slumber."

"There are many good things."

"There is much love ... and much living for others."