Dolly Reforming Herself Part 27

_Dolly._ You can't get a decent dinner?

_Harry._ No! Look at those messes last night. They weren't fit for a cook-shop.

_Dolly._ Oh! Oh! Oh! Get a housekeeper! Get a housekeeper!

_Harry._ By Jove! that's what I mean to do!

_Dolly._ Have Miss Smithson! Send for her to-morrow morning! I'll hand her over the keys!

_Harry._ [_Shouting._] And please hand me over the rest of your bills!

The rest of your bills, madam!

[DOLLY _marches up to the desk._

MATT _appears at door in dressing-gown._

_Matt._ I can't get a wink of sleep----

[DOLLY _takes out about twenty more bills._

_Harry._ I insist on seeing the whole lot! So there!

_Dolly._ [_Flourishing the bills, strewing them on the floor._] Well there! And there! And there! And there! Now you've got the whole lot!

And I hope you're satisfied. I'm going into Renie's room! [_Exit._

_Harry._ I insist on your going through these bills----

[_Following her off. Their voices are heard retreating upstairs_, DOLLY _saying_, "go through the bills! Send for Miss Smithson! Have her here to-morrow morning! Take your proceedings," HARRY _saying_, "I insist on going through the bills to-night! Do you hear, madam, I insist! Will you come down and go through these bills," etc.

_Matt._ [_Listens, as their voices die away. When the voices have ceased, he surveys the scene._] We're making a splendid start for the New Year!

[_Sees the box on the floor, picks it up, carefully places it on table and goes off._

CURTAIN.

(_A year pa.s.ses between Acts III and IV._)

ACT IV.

SCENE: _The same._

TIME: _Afternoon of January 1st, 1908._

_Enter_ LUCAS, _followed by_ CRIDDLE. LUCAS _has his left collar-bone broken, and his arm is strapped across his breast; his coat is b.u.t.toned loosely over the arm, the left sleeve hanging down._

_Lucas._ They've gone to meet me?

_Criddle._ Yes, sir.

_Lucas._ By the road?

_Criddle._ Yes, sir.

_Lucas._ That's how I've missed them. My car broke down the other side of the clump, and so I walked over the fields.

_Criddle._ Yes, sir. I beg pardon, I hope the arm isn't serious.

_Lucas._ No, Criddle. Just serious enough to get me a couple of months'

leave, so that I could spend the New Year in England.

_Criddle._ You had it very hot in India, I suppose, sir?

_Lucas._ Blazing!

_Criddle._ We've got the same old weather here, you see, sir.

_Lucas._ Same old weather! Had any visitors for Christmas, Criddle?

_Criddle._ Mr. Barron, of course, and Professor and Mrs. Sturgess.

_Lucas._ Same old visitors--same visitors, I should say. Mr. Pilcher still Vicar here, I suppose?

_Criddle._ Yes, sir. He gave us a wonderful sermon at the old year's service last night.

_Lucas._ Same old sermon!

_Criddle._ No, sir. Not exactly the same sermon, though it had similar points to last year. Ah! You came over for the old year's service last year?

_Lucas._ Yes, and a rattling good sermon it was!

_Criddle._ Very powerful and persuading, wasn't it, sir? It even touched me up a bit.

_Lucas._ In what way, Criddle?

_Criddle._ I used to have my ten bob on any horse as I fancied, but I never put a farthing on anything--not even on Sulky Susan for the Oaks.

_Lucas._ You didn't?

_Criddle._ No, and thank G.o.d, in a manner of speaking, that I didn't, for she never pulled it off. I owe that to Mr. Pilcher. No, I never touched a thing till the Leger. That reminds me----

_Lucas._ What, Criddle?

_Criddle._ Why, last year, after Mr. Pilcher's sermon, the master had a collecting box, and when he found himself going a bit off the straight he used to put in a shilling or half-a-crown for Mr. Pilcher's blanket fund----