Distorted. Part 13

I gave a fake gasp and punched him in the arm with my free hand. A small smile appeared on his lips and he gave a little moan of pleasure as my other hand found a sensitive spot. I couldn't help it, I tugged a little on that spot, and he finally opened his eyes.

"Why did you do that?" he asked.

"Just teasing you, Baker. Do you have time to wait for me while I take a shower? I feel pretty gross and would rather deal with you refreshed and clean." I gave a little smirk to let him know I was giving him a hard time.

He nodded and closed his eyes again. "Sure, I could use the time to relax. Go ahead."

I stood up, then leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you. Be right back."

After I showered and brushed my teeth, I felt a lot better. I dressed in my comfy jeans and a pale pink T-shirt. I left my hair wet to air dry and only put some mascara and pink lip-gloss on. My eyes still had bags under them, but not as bad as they'd been, so I wasn't going to worry about that right now.

When I walked out to the living room, Ethan was snoring softly on the couch, still sitting in the same position I'd left him in. My heart expanded at the sight and I couldn't help myself as I sat down next to him, laying my head on his shoulder.

He moved a little in his sleep, and I stayed still, hoping he wouldn't wake up. He rested his hand on mine and gave a little squeeze. I closed my eyes but they popped open wide when I heard him say my name on a sigh, "Aly."

He turned his head so he was facing me and settled back into his nap. I reached my hand up and touched his face. Taking advantage of the fact that he was asleep, I sat back up and really studied him. I marveled at the feelings I had recently started feeling for him as I rubbed my hand down his cheek and lightly brushed over his lips. He twitched a little at my touch, but still didn't wake up. I leaned over and lightly kissed his cheek, then bent lower and kissed his neck. I knew I was treading on dangerous territory, but I couldn't help it. I had to touch him, kiss him.

I'd just raised my head from kissing his neck when I felt him grab my wrist. "What are you doing, Aly?" he asked me softly. My heart slammed in my chest. I'd been caught. My mind went blank and I had no idea what to say.

I stammered as he held onto my wrist, not letting me turn away no matter how much I tried. "I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me. Please don't hate me, Ethan. Don't leave me," I said as I felt my throat constrict and the stupid tears appear once again.

He looked at me, his eyes filled with tenderness. "Hate you? Leave you? Are you kidding?" he asked.

I stared at him, not sure what to say. I knew he'd had feelings for me in the past, but nothing direct had ever been said and it had been a while since I'd really felt that from him. The horror I felt was huge and I'd never wanted to get away from him more in my life.

I took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry. I know we're just friends. I've had a very rough few days and I don't know what came over me. Please forgive me," I said, wiping the tears from my face with my free hand.

Suddenly, he jerked me toward him as I slammed against his chest. He wrapped one arm around me while I felt his other hand hold my chin so I'd look at him. "Would you please just shut up?" he asked, crushing his mouth to mine.

Ethan moved his mouth over mine seductively, teasing me, his tongue gliding over my lips. I sighed at his touch and opened my mouth, granting him access. He took advantage and drove his tongue inside, swirling it around. Shoving my hands in his hair I returned his kiss, following his lead.

I felt his hands slide down to my hips and he turned me over so I was lying on the couch. Pleasure raced through me when I felt him climb on top of me. His kisses started a path toward my neck, leaving me breathless. I turned my head to give him easier access and he moved lower, reaching my collarbone. I sighed as I felt him kiss from one side to the other, back up my neck and reaching my lips again. I put my hands behind his head and pulled him closer, loving the way his kisses were making me feel.

We made out for what seemed like hours before he tore his mouth from mine, panting. He rested his forehead on mine and rubbed circles on my arms. I was completely stunned at what had just happened and even more stunned that I wanted more.

He finally lifted his head and looked into my eyes. "Are you okay?" he whispered. I looked at him and saw the concern, the fear. He had no idea what I was going to say, what I was going to do.

I ran my hand through his hair, then brushed over his cheek, feeling the stubble I loved. I was feeling so euphoric at the moment and I didn't want to think about the consequences. I just wanted him.

"I'm fine. More than fine. What I want more than anything is for you to do that again," I said, biting my lower lip, not sure how he would react.

He groaned and bent his head down, pressing his mouth to mine in another searing kiss. He licked the place on my lower lip where I'd bitten down, then sucked on it. I moaned in pleasure and pushed his head toward me again, wanting absolutely no s.p.a.ce between us.

He lifted the hem of my shirt and started caressing me with his hand, giving me goose b.u.mps. I felt him smile against my lips as he continued to touch me with feather-light strokes. I started to do the same to him, but his hand reached over and stopped me before I could touch him.

I whimpered in protest as he kissed over to my ear and whispered, "Not yet, angel." He then went back to touching me, ever so slowly moving his hand upward. I tingled in antic.i.p.ation when he stopped and moved his hand to cup my a.s.s, pressing me closer to him.

I sighed as he traced my earlobe with his tongue, then softly blew on it, his warm breath making me shudder. I welcomed his lips back to mine when he started kissing me again. I tried to touch him again on his stomach, but he shook his head, once again putting his hand over mine and stopping me.

"Be patient," he whispered. "Soon."

I groaned in frustration and he suddenly sat up, bringing me with him. He straddled me on his lap, never breaking the kiss. He put his hands under my shirt again, rubbing up and down my back in slow strokes. He started to move to my sides, teasing me. My chest throbbed, antic.i.p.ating his touch, but it never came. Ethan broke the kiss and set his hands down beside him. I pulled back, looking at him, wondering why he stopped.

"What happened?" I asked him. "Why did you stop?"

He looked at me, desire completely filling his eyes. "This is going so fast. I had to make sure you're okay, that this is really what you want."

I tried to pull his head back to mine, to continue our kiss, but he wouldn't budge.

"I'm serious, Aly. You must know I've wanted you like this for a long time. My feelings for you have always been strong, but I know you haven't felt the same toward me," he said as he stopped me from interrupting. "Shh, it's okay. I've been fine with just being your friend; otherwise I wouldn't have stayed around. You're very special to me and I don't want to lose you, especially if we do something you'll regret."

I blew my hair out of my face and got off of his lap, sitting down next to him. He was so sweet and I knew he was right. It was better to not go too far, especially right now when my emotions were all over the place.

He turned toward me and took my hands in his. "Are you okay? Believe me, there's nothing I'd rather do more than what we were doing, but you mean too much to me to have casual s.e.x. I want it to be meaningful, not just a quick roll in the hay."

My heart melted and I leaned over and hugged him. I kept my head on his chest as he rubbed my back. I didn't know what I'd done to deserve him, but I didn't want to lose him, ever. What we had was too precious to throw away, but what had just happened between us was more right than anything I had ever experienced before.

I raised my head to look at him, to tell him just that, when a loud knock sounded on my door. My eyes widened in surprise. Ethan turned his head to look, then back at me.

"Are you expecting someone?" he asked.

I shook my head. Another knock sounded, this time more insistent. I started to get up to answer it, but Ethan held me back.

"Let me go check, okay?"

I nodded my head and he got up to look through the peephole. I heard him curse as he unlocked the door.

"What the h.e.l.l are you doing here, Pierce?"

I froze. What the h.e.l.l was he doing here? I couldn't move as I listened to the two of them talk.

"Is Aly here? I just had to make sure she's okay," I heard Paul answer.

Ethan's shoulders tensed and he stepped to the right to block me from Paul's view. It suddenly hit me that what I'd just been doing with Ethan was what I'd been doing with Paul only a few days earlier. Mortification filled my soul and I put a hand over my mouth.

"She's fine," Ethan said curtly. He tried to shut the door, but was stopped.

"I want to see for myself, thanks," Paul replied.

I knew I needed to get up and handle this, but I couldn't move. Bile rose in my throat and I found myself running to the bathroom. Ethan's head whipped around as I pa.s.sed him and he took a step forward.

"Aly?" he asked, forgetting all about Paul.

I ignored him as I slammed the bathroom door and locked it. Hot tears were streaming down my face as I bent over the toilet. Dry heaves came, but nothing else. I knew I wasn't sick, that it was just my frazzled nerves, but it sucked all the same.

I sat with my head leaning back on the tub when I heard the knock.

"Aly, angel, are you okay?" I heard Ethan ask.

My heart fluttered from the sound of his voice and I knew I was in trouble. I was falling for Ethan, my best friend, while I was still in love with Paul. How was this possible?

I grabbed a washcloth and blotted my face with it. "I'm okay, I'll be out in a sec," I told him.

"Paul's here. He came in when you flew past me. He refuses to leave until he sees you."

I unlocked the door and my heart skipped a beat, seeing the concern written all over his face. He didn't say a word, just reached for me and pulled me into a hug. I went without hesitation and closed my eyes as he ran his hand down my hair.

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't have to see him," he whispered.

"Well, I'm not okay, but yes I'm okay, if that makes sense." I sighed. "And it's okay, I'll see him."

He chuckled a little. "This is quite a mess."

"Aly?"

I turned and saw Paul standing in the hall. My insides stirred. I was in Ethan's arms, feeling something for him, yet felt a pull towards Paul. I closed my eyes, asking for strength.

Ethan kept his hand on my shoulder, squeezing. I knew he was uncomfortable, not knowing what to think, especially after what had just transpired between us. I wanted to rea.s.sure him, but at the moment my head was spinning. I had to take care of Paul first.

"What are you doing here, Paul?" I asked him.

He took a step toward me. "You weren't responding to my texts or phone calls. I was worried. I had to see if you were all right."

I looked back at Ethan. He was scowling at Paul, but Paul wasn't giving him the time of day as he kept his eyes on me.

"I'm okay. Obviously things are a little strange and awkward, especially right now. I really just need a break from the stress and you are a major part of that."

His eyes clouded over with pain. "Can we talk in private?" he asked, looking at Ethan for the first time.

Ethan stepped in front of me. "No way."

Paul jerked his head to him, ready to say something, when I interrupted. "It's okay. Paul, I really need for you to give me some s.p.a.ce. You don't know how much you hurt me, how much you embarra.s.sed me. Whether you meant to or not, that's what you did."

"Aly," he whispered. He looked to Ethan again, then back to me. "Will you please give me one minute to talk in private? Please."

Ethan stepped in front of me again. "No-"

"It's okay, Ethan. I can handle it. I'll just be a minute."

I started to walk forward when I felt Ethan grab me. "I'll be in your room if you need me, but I don't like it." He looked at Paul. "One minute," then walked in my room.

I started walking again and heard Paul follow me. I got to the front door and stood by it, my hand on the k.n.o.b. I looked up at him, signaling for him to continue.

He put his hands in his jean pockets. He did look d.a.m.n s.e.xy in them. He had a dark brown long sleeved T-shirt on that hugged every muscle on his torso. It was hard to stay focused.

"Aly, it killed me hearing you tell me how much I hurt and embarra.s.sed you. You've got to believe that wasn't my intention, ever. I made a poor decision with Casey, but it was the only thing I could think of to shut her up and get her out of there quickly. I see now that was the worst thing I could have done. And please don't be embarra.s.sed. I'm the one who screwed up." He rocked back on his heels, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Yeah, you are the one who screwed up, but how do you think I feel? You slept with me then turned around and slept with someone else not thirty minutes later. That would be bad enough, but I had to hear it, Paul. Hear it! How the h.e.l.l do you think that makes me feel? And you know what's even worse? I screwed up too. I knew you had a girlfriend. I swore to myself I would never be that woman and yet I didn't even bat an eye when you laid me down on your desk. I'm no better than you are."

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. When he opened them, anguish showed. He took a step forward, but stopped when I recoiled. "Baby, it kills me that I hurt you so badly. If I could take it back, I would. And you are wrong, you are way better than me. Please know it wasn't a hit towards you. You were amazing. You're all I can think about and it was only to get rid of Casey, to shut her up. I'm so sorry."

I felt my resolve start to slip a bit and that scared me. I backed up and opened the door. He had to leave.

"I need you to go now," I said in a whisper.

"Aly."

I shook my head. "I mean it. I need time, and I need s.p.a.ce. I appreciate what you said, but things are still the same. You don't have to keep checking on me, I'm okay. I'll still be to work on Monday, but please, just keep it professional. I can't be there if you are like this."

He ran a hand down his face. "Okay, if that's what you want. But again, I'm not giving up on you. I want you. I've wanted you for a while now and I don't mean just s.e.x. I want a relationship with you and I'm not giving up without a fight. I'm planning on ending things with Casey, whether you want me or not. I can't be with her."

My eyes widened in shock. I just stood there staring at him as I held the door open. He walked forward and brushed some hair behind my ear. "I just want you," he whispered as he kissed my cheek then walked out the door.

My heart was racing as I stood there, still in shock. Ethan came out a second later, looking at me from the hallway. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I got it together and shut the door. I went over to him and hugged him, laying my head on his chest, needing his warmth, his comfort. Ethan had always been there for me as my friend and even though more was developing, I needed my friend at that moment.

He started rubbing my back. "Shh, it's okay, Aly. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere," he soothed. We stood there for what seemed like hours, Ethan just holding me, giving me comfort. I needed him so much and I was scared that I would lose him.

I pulled back and looked at him. "Ethan?" I started hesitantly.

He looked down at me. "Yes?"

I lowered my eyes. It was too hard to look at him. "Um, well, I'm not sure how to ask this," I stumbled.

He lifted my chin with his finger. "Aly?" he asked, looking intently at me. "I don't regret what happened between us and I never will. I've been waiting for years, and you know it."

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. "Thank goodness," I said in relief. I rested my head back on his chest and felt the laugh rumble in his chest.

"Ah, Aly. You know I've loved you for so long, this shouldn't be a surprise. The surprise is you, thinking I would regret it or run."

"You love me?" I asked him, shocked.

He touched his nose to mine. "Are you serious? Yes, I love you. I have since we met. I don't think I've hidden that, have I?"

I stared at him, having no idea what to say. He loved me. Did I know that? Maybe. I'd just never allowed myself to think that far.

"You don't have to say anything back, I don't expect it. I know you're very confused right now, but h.e.l.l yes, I love you and it feels good to finally say it."

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him gently on the lips. We didn't move anything but our lips, and it was the most magical kiss I'd ever experienced. Ethan Baker cast a spell on me and I wasn't sure I ever wanted it to be broken.

He broke the kiss and pulled me into his arms. "I don't even want to discuss the future or what this means. I just want to enjoy this moment. I don't know what Pierce said to you or what you're thinking, but I doubt you would have kissed me like that if you were going to show me the door."

I laughed. "I'm not showing you the door, Ethan. I was afraid you'd be running for it. I don't want to think about anything, either. Just stay here and hold me."

His hazel eyes shined as he looked down at me. "You don't have to ask me twice. I'll stay as long as you let me."

Ethan and I fell asleep on the couch, watching movies. I was so emotionally drained that I found I was falling asleep at the drop of a hat lately. I woke up in the middle of the night with a kink in my neck and had to move to my bed. I nudged Ethan and told him I was going to my room. Without saying anything, he followed me in there and held me the rest of the night.