Digger Smith Part 5

"That's 'ow I met this d.u.c.h.ess Wot's-'er-name-- Or Countess--never mind 'er moniker; I ain't no 'and at this 'ere t.i.tle game-- An' right away, I was reel pals with 'er.

'Now, tell me all about yer 'ome,' sez she, An' smiles at me.

"That knocks me out. I know it ain't no good Paintin' word-picters uv the things I done Out 'ome 'ere, barrackin' for Collin'wood, Or puntin' on the flat at Flemin'ton.

I know this Baroness uv Wot-yeh-call Wants somethin' tall.

"I thinks reel 'ard; an' then I lets it go.

I tells 'er, out at Richmond, on me Run-- A little place uv ten square mile or so-- I'm breedin' boomerangs; which is reel fun, When I ain't troubled by the wild Jonops That eats me crops.

"I talks about the wondrous Boshter Bird That builds 'er nest up in the Cobber Tree, An' 'atches out 'er young on May the third, Stric' to the minute, jist at 'arf pas' three.

'Er eyes get big. She sez, 'Can it be true?'

'Er eyes was blue.

"An' then I speaks uv sport, an' tells 'er 'ow In 'untin' our wild Wowsers we imploy Large packs uv Barrackers, an' 'ow their row Wakes echoes in the forests uv Fitzroy, Where lurks the deadly Shicker Snake 'oo's breath Is certain death.

"I'm goin' on to talk uv kangaroos, An' 'ow I used to drive 'em four-in-'and.

'Wot?' sez the Marchioness. 'Them things in Zoos That 'ops about? I've seen 'em in the Strand In double 'arness; but I ain't seen four.

Tell me some more.'

"I baulks a bit at that; an' she sez, 'Well, There ain't no cause at all for you to feel Modest about the things you 'ave to tell; An' wot yeh say sounds wonderfully reel.

Your talk'--an' 'ere I seen 'er eyelids flick-- 'Makes me 'omesick.

"'I reckerlect,' she sez--'Now, let me see-- In Gippsland, long ago, when I was young, I 'ad a little pet Corroboree,'

(I sits up in me chair like I was stung.) 'On its 'ind legs,' she sez, 'it used to stand.

Fed from me 'and.'

"Uv course, I threw me alley in right there.

This Princess was a d.i.n.k.u.m Aussie girl.

I can't do nothin' else but sit an' stare, Thinkin' so rapid that me 'air roots curl.

But 'er? She sez, 'I ain't 'eard talk so good Since my child'ood.

"'I wish,' sez she, 'I could be back again Beneath the wattle an' that great blue sky.

It's like a breath uv 'ome to meet you men.

You've done reel well,' she sez. 'Don't you be shy.

When yer in Blighty once again,' sez she, 'Come an' see me.'

"I don't see 'er no more; 'cos I stopped one.

But, 'fore I sails, I gits a billy doo Which sez, 'Give my love to the dear ole Sun, An' take an exile's blessin' 'ome with you.

An' if you 'ave some boomerangs to spare, Save me a pair.

"'I'd like to see 'em play about,' she wrote, 'Out on me lawn, an' stroke their pretty fur.

G.o.d bless yeh, boy.' An' then she ends 'er note, 'Yer d.i.n.k.u.m cobber,' an' 'er moniker.

A sport? You bet! She's marri'd to an Earl-- An Aussie girl."

VIII. JIM'S GIRL

Jim's Girl

"'Oo is that girl," sez Digger Smith, "That never seems to bother with No blokes: the bint with curly 'air?

I've often seen 'er over there Talkin' to Missus Flood, an' she Seems like a reel ripe peach to me.

"Not that I'm askin'" ... 'Ere 'is eyes Goes sort uv swiv'ly, an' 'e sighs.

"Not that I'm askin' with idears Uv love an' marridge; 'ave no fears.

I've chucked the matrimony plan,"

'E sez. "I'm only 'arf a man."

This Digger Smith 'as fairly got Me rampin' with 'is "'arf man" rot.

'E 'as a timber leg, it's true; But 'e can do the work uv two.

Besides, the things 'e's done Out There Makes 'im one man an' some to spare.

I knoo 'is question was jist kid.

'E'd met this girl; I know 'e did.

'E knoo Jim Flood an' 'er was booked For double when the 'Un was cooked.

But, seein' 'er, it used to start 'Im thinkin' uv another tart.

"Oh, 'er?" sez I. "She is a pearl.

I've 'eard she used to be Jim's girl; But she was jist a child when Jim Got out. She 'as forgotten 'im."

I knows jist wot was in 'is mind, An' sez, "Wade in, if you're inclined."

'E give me sich a narsty look I thought 'e meant to answer crook; But, "I ain't out for jokes," sez 'e "Yeh needn't sling that stuff to me.

I only was jist thinkin'--p'r'aps ... . .

There's some," 'e sez, "that sticks to chaps.

"Some girls," sez 'e, "keeps true to chaps, An' wed 'em when they've done with sc.r.a.ps, An' come 'ome whole. Yeh don't ixpec'

No tart to tie up to a wreck?

Besides," 'e sez... . "Well, any'ow, That girl's all right; I know it now.

"I know," sez Smith. "I got it right.

Jim used to talk to me at night About a little girl 'e tracked.

'Er name is Flo. Ain't that a fact?

That's 'er. I know she writes to 'im Each mail. She ain't forgotten Jim.

"I'd like to swap my luck for Jim's If 'e comes 'ome with all 'is limbs.

An', if 'e don't--well, I dunno.

I've taken notice uv this Flo, An' wonder if"--'e stares at me-- "If there is more like 'er" sez 'e.

Now, Digger Smith 'as learned a lot Out fightin' there, but 'e ain't got The cunnin' for to 'ide 'is 'eart.

'E's too dam honest, for a start; 'Is mind's dead simple to a friend.

I've read 'im through from end to end.

I've learned from things 'e 'asn't said Jist wot's been runnin in 'is 'ead.

I know there is a girl, somewhere; Some one 'oo 'ad the 'eart to care For 'im when 'e went to the war.

I know all that, an' somethin' more.