Diary Of A Vampeen Part 11

"Wow. You look so different," I smirked.

"You're such a horrible liar," he laughed.

"Yea," I smiled. "How old were you here?"

"Thirteen."

"Adorable."

"And now?" he prompted.

"Now you look... handsome," I replied before handing him back the picture.

"You're going to be just as beautiful you know," he stated.

Copying him, I asked, "But now?"

"You're beautiful in your human form now, and will be stunning after. Don't sweat it."

"Did it hurt? Did you feel different or strange?" I was unsure if I was really ready for an adverse response.

"You sleep through everything. It's like when you have surgery, the anesthesia makes you sleep deep enough to ignore the pain," he explained. "After, when you wake up, it is shocking at first. Everything is intensified. You hear every pin drop and smell every daisy three yards down, but you adjust after a few days. You'll feel weird. It's almost like an out-of-body experience in the beginning. You'll have to get to know your new figure and lifestyle. You'll have to buy a new wardrobe. Once you become acquainted with everything though, it's great. You'll be fine Lexi. I promise." I enjoyed seeing this softer side of Kellan. He was vulnerable, contemplative and pa.s.sionate. For once, we were on the same level of exposure. We shared an intimacy in the experience without touching physically.

"I know. I'm over thinking it all. It's just overwhelming," I admitted shyly.

"You should get some sleep. It's been a long day for you."

"Thanks... for everything. I would probably be a total nut case right now if it weren't for you," I said, pulling the covers up higher as I rolled on my left side towards him.

"You already are," he laughed. "At least you're a likable crazy person though."

"I'm choosing to ignore that jab since you've been so great for the majority of this evening."

"Go to sleep Lexi. I'll see you in the morning," he said.

He turned sideways to face me as I had him. He reached out, but pulled back hesitantly. I could tell he wasn't used to this sort of closeness. He stretched out his hand again; this time he didn't waver as he caressed my face from head to chin. His skin was just as smooth as earlier with the same cool temperature. Despite the rest of my body being cold under the thick comforter, I enjoyed his touch and didn't want him to stop.

So much was racing through my mind. I still couldn't believe it. Kellan was a vampire, I was going to be a vampeen, my mom was a vampeen, and I had three full days remaining as a human. How do you live your last days to the fullest when no one can know what is coming? It was a little tricky. On the up side, Kellan wasn't so dark and reserved. I felt special, like he'd torn down a few defenses to let me in.

And Mel... What was I going to tell her? What could I tell her? I didn't want to lie to her, but I also didn't want to lose my best friend.

Then there was Mike. He was the first and only guy to like me the way I was fat. He had embraced my every curve and made me feel special unlike anyone else. How could I turn on him? How could I abandon him without feeling a gut-wrenching guilt for the rest of my life? Honestly, I couldn't. I still liked him and cared about him. I couldn't hurt him like that.

And finally there was Kellan. He's so easy to talk to, especially now that he's the sole student at my school who knew and understood what I was about to endure. I didn't have to hide anything from him, but he was definitely not like Mike. Mike loved me the way I was now, but I worried that Kellan only liked me for who I would be, how I would look after Friday. I couldn't let go of Kellan now though. The bond had been formed, my desires were plain and vivid despite the lonely question mark I carried with him.

No. I couldn't let go of my best friend, of either guy I admired, or my life as I'd known it. Despite the rumors that would swirl, for their sake, I had to return quickly to what I had established. I would stay out of school for two weeks before returning with a boom. Perhaps I would even let Mel plan a party for me and concoct a big reveal there. At least then she could have her fun and no one would a.s.sume I was a new student in the halls. After all, if I turned out as gorgeous as everyone claimed, I wouldn't mind flaunting a bit.

How different would I be though? Listen to me. I hadn't even transformed and I already sounded like a selfish, sn.o.bbish cheerleader. If I maintained this reprisal att.i.tude, I would be a bratty monster. I couldn't let model looks change me internally. I didn't want to be Jenny Struthers's evil side kick. I didn't want other girls to feel intimidated or self-conscious around me. I didn't want anyone to endure what I did because of me.

I woke up in the morning to my alarm sounding. I slapped the snooze b.u.t.ton and stretched. I opened my eyes and scanned the room. Kellan was gone. I didn't know what I expected, but my mood sunk a bit knowing he left me. I guess I was hoping for another Edward moment.

I heard a tap at my door. "Come in," I said stifling a yawn.

"Morning sweetie, how are you feeling?" my mother asked sliding gracefully onto the edge of my bed.

"Umm, ok so far."

"That's good. You do have some worried visitors downstairs though."

"Visitors? As in more than one?" The last thing anyone wants is visitors when your alarm sounds first thing in the morning.

"Yes. Mike and Mel are worried about you. Mel said you didn't call last night nor did you answer her calls. I didn't tell them anything; I will leave that to you." She kissed my forehead and returned downstairs to give me time.

"Ugh." I decided not to prolong my crucifixion. I took a two minute shower, tossed my hair up, brushed my teeth and threw on the first outfit I found. I strolled downstairs remembering I'd left my cell in my bag by the door.

As soon as I entered the family room, I knew I was right to rush. Mike appeared ready to have a heart attack at any moment and Mel looked p.i.s.sed off giving me her 'you're in deep s.h.i.t start talking' glare.

"Umm, morning guys," I smiled with a half wave motion.

"I'll give you some s.p.a.ce," my mother offered exiting the room.

"You better start talking fast Lex," Mel warned.

"Sorry. Kellan and I left school and went to the beach. We were walking and talking. We lost track of time. It was night before we left. He brought me home; I talked to my parents for a bit. I was so exhausted from walking all night that I just crashed and forgot to call you guys. Sorry," I gushed trying to stick with the truth.

"If you went to bed, then why was Kellan just leaving when we got here?" Mike asked. I could hear the pain in his voice despite his accusing tone. I knew what he was thinking and I had to make it right.

"Listen. Nothing happened with me and Kellan. We didn't even hug. He's an old family friend. He and my mom like to reminisce about Spain since they were there together this summer, his family and my parents." Ok, so I was going to have to exaggerate a bit to defuse the situation. "I did go to sleep last night though and nothing happened between me and Kellan," I calmly explained.

My efforts worked. Mike cheered up and Mel loosened her expression.

"So what were you two talking about all that time on the beach?" Mel probed with new enthusiasm.

"About life. He told me about living in Seattle; I asked him a lot of questions." I was still attempting to remain truthful, as much as deemed possible anyways. What Mike said before was at the front of my mind though. Had Kellan really stayed the night with me? Did he lay in bed with me the whole night? I quickly pushed the thought away. He's not into me like that. Why am I allowing myself to go there?

"I'm going to trust you this time," Mike stated. I didn't know whether to be relieved or irritated. This only went to show that we both carried trust issues.

"I'm really sorry," I said.

Mike crossed the distance between us and pulled me to him for a kiss. After the intimacy I'd shared with Kellan last night though, I didn't feel right being in Mike's arms.

Mel interrupted the moment. "Ugh! Can we skip the Dawson's Creek and be on our way before we're late?!" Mike gave Mel an intense angry look. Mel just scoffed sarcastically and stated, "Oh get over it Mike! There will be other times for you to smother your girlfriend. Hopefully you will choose times when I'm not around though."

"I'll see if my mom will drive us," I interjected hoping to distract them. I walked away from Mike's embrace to gather my stuff.

"Lexi. You. Me. Dinner, tonight. No boys allowed," she ordered sticking her tongue out at Mike with the end jab.

"Sounds good," I confirmed. I pulled my cell out of my bag and flipped it open. "Thirty-eight missed calls! What the h.e.l.l were you two doing... speed dialing me all night?!"

Mel shrugged while Mike tensed up again, glaring up the stairs at my room.

"Well?"

"Oh give it a rest Lex. You really don't want to get me started on this again."

"Yea, yea."

Chapter 9.

My mother drove us to school. Mike walked me to every cla.s.s, obviously still upset over last night while Mel had me retell the entire conversation on the beach with Kellan; this was extremely difficult considering I couldn't mention anything related to our secret heritage. At least she got it out of her system early, which meant dinner would be drill free.

I was disappointed when I got to Spanish and Kellan wasn't there, however he was in his desk in English. The moment I sat down a note was on my desk.

Hey Hi How are you today?

I'm ok. Haven't gone into shock yet if that's what you mean. You?

Not really, but good to know. I'm good. I had fun yesterday.

You mean yesterday and this morning? Mel and Mike said they saw you leaving. What did you do all night? My dad didn't say anything to you?

After you fell asleep I talked with your parents for a while. Your dad went to bed and your mom and I talked about stuff. Around three you sounded like you were having a nightmare so I stayed in your room until your dad left for work.

Oh.... why did you stay?

We gave you a lot to think about last night. I wanted to make sure you were ok.

Wow... thanks So dinner with Mel tonight?

Yea. How do you know about these things?

I overheard her talking earlier.

Oh. Yea. I don't know where we're going yet. It's no boys allowed...

Have fun.

I will thanks.

The remainder of English flew by. My mom had agreed to pick me and Mel up after school so we could go to dinner.

"So where do you want to eat?" I asked as we climbed into my mother's heated leather back seats.

"I was thinking Mexican. I could do some chips and salsa with a virgin margarita."

"Chicken enchiladas here we come."

My mother decided to meet my dad for dinner at Outback Steakhouse after dropping us off down the road at Tejano Restaurante. Living in Spain helped me communicate at the restaurant perfectly.

"Buenos dias senoritas," the hostess greeted.

"Buenos dias. Necessita un mesa para dos, por favor," I responded, asking for a table for two. She smiled and led us to a booth by a window. This was a quaint restaurant; nothing large or overwhelming in size, but definitely not a hole-in-the-wall joint. It was charming with its adobo flared design. The focal point on the wall opposite the windows was a large framed Mexican flag surrounded by memorabilia and old sepia toned photos.

Our waiter, Jorge, introduced himself and promptly returned with the two sweet teas we ordered, a southern delicacy I loved. We requested a bowl of queso blanco, the best dip ever, and two virgin margaritas before starting to eat the chips and salsa set at our table. Mel, of course, was the first to speak between bites.

"So what's up with you and Mike? I can't keep up anymore."

"I honestly don't know. One minute we're ok and the next we're balancing on a tight rope. If I'm honest, I just can't make a solid decision as to whether or not we should really be together right now." This was all the more true after talking with Kellan and my parents last night. I would have a secret that I couldn't reveal to him, something that impacted my life greatly, and that automatically put us at a disadvantage without the trust issues.

"If you're not one-hundred percent sure about it Lex, then you really shouldn't be with him. Every relationship hits a rough spot, but you haven't totally committed yourself to the relationship at any point over the last month. It's pretty obvious to me that your hearts not in it, so why are you sticking around?"

"I guess I feel obligated in a way. He was the first guy to acknowledge that I was beautiful in any way, or even acknowledge me period. I think I feel, to a certain degree, that I need to return the favor. He's done everything he can to embrace me, and I'm trying to do the same for him."

"Yea Lex, but it's just like you said. It's for him, not for you, and you will never be happy until you're doing this for yourself. You have to want this, not just settle for it."

"Yea. I know you're right. It's just... How can I hurt him after all he's done for me?"

"You need to take him off this invisible pedestal. All he's done is give you a few compliments and minor affection to boost your self-esteem. That doesn't automatically qualify him to be the king of your heart," she stated as Jorge set down our queso and margaritas.

"Que le senoritas les gusta comer?" he asked.

"Mi amiga que como dos tacos de pollo con crema agria, y me gustaria una enchilada de pollo con salsa roja, por favor."

"Buenas opciones. Volvere con sus pedidos en un poco," he stated collecting our menus before walking away.

"I don't know what I'd do without your Spanish," Mel commented.

"You could manage. This is your second year of Spanish, remember?"

"High school Spanish doesn't really count. It's nothing like living in Spain for a couple years."

"Yea."

"So what's going on with you and Bancroft now? No guy stays the night without ulterior motives, regardless of whether or not he knows your parents personally."

"Nothing happened. I wasn't lying there. Honestly, I still feel this intense pull towards him, and, after he opened up to me last night, that feeling has only intensified. We have this invisible bond that surpa.s.ses what me and Mike could ever fathom having; I just don't know quite what to do with it yet. I know Kellan's presence has played a role in my teeter-tottering with Mike, but I don't know where Kellan stands with me. Now that I say that though, it's obvious that I'm just using Mike as a safety net because I don't want to be alone. Oh my gosh, Mel. I'm horrible! This whole time I didn't want to hurt Mike, yet now I see I'm doing something far worse. I'm using him and abusing our friendship." I couldn't believe I'd been so selfish. Beyond that, I couldn't believe I'd been so blind to my own selfish behavior. Regardless of where Kellan stood, I knew I had to let Mike go. With my transformation coming up, it was for the best that I figured it out now anyways.

"Don't beat yourself up Lex. n.o.body's perfect. I'm glad you figured it out, and now you just have to make it right by telling Mike the truth. You'll probably feel a huge burden lift off of you when you do it too."