Devoted: The Blackwell Lessons Part 25

I don't mean to, but I laugh. 'Sorry.' I put a hand to my mouth. 'Marc. Parenthood isn't genetic. We make our own choices.'

I pull his hands and reluctantly he takes a step towards me.

He looks so exposed. So young. I've never seen him this way.

'You're a good man. So you'll be a good father. Okay? No matter what your upbringing. Listen now it's your turn to trust me. You, Marc Blackwell, will be an amazing parent. Look at how you are with your sister. With me. With my little brother. And this will be a baby of your very own. I promise you, when you see our baby all your fears will leave you.'

'I hope so.'

'You don't need to hope so. Because I know so.'

'Come on.' Marc squeezes my fingers. 'There's somewhere we need to go. I have a celebration planned.'

'A celebration?' I say incredulously, as Marc leads me back over the lawn. 'Oh wait. I forgot. You were already sure I was pregnant. So you've been planning something.'

'For weeks,' says Marc, with a gentle smile.

I'm relieved by that smile.

'So where are we going?'

'Back to the townhouse.'

I feel Marc's arm around my shoulder, and slide my own arm around his waist.

'I can't believe it,' I say, fizzy with happiness. 'We're having a baby Marc. I'm carrying our child. I feel like I'm dreaming. Wait should we start thinking about names or something? And are we going to find out the s.e.x before the baby is born?'

'I'll leave that decision up to you.'

'I think I'd like to wait. Finding out before the baby is born feels a bit like opening your Christmas presents before Christmas day. I can't wait to see you as a daddy Marc. I just can't wait.'

That frown again.

'Marc, you're going to have to stop thinking bad thoughts. I'm not going to spend nine months with you frowning.'

'Just being realistic.'

'You mean negative.'

'Possibly.'

45.

Back at the townhouse, Marc has arranged a surprise party with all my friends and family.

I'm totally overwhelmed when we walk into the kitchen.

'Oh, wow.' I put a hand to my mouth.

Familiar, smiling faces surround the breakfast bar. My dad and Denise, little Sammy, Jen and Leo, Tom and Tanya, Marc's sister Annabel and her son ... everyone is here.

'Congratulations!' every one shouts, shooting party poppers into the air.

Pastel pink and blue bunting hangs above us, and helium balloons bob on strings.

'What would you have done if the pregnancy test was negative?' I whisper to Marc. 'Told everyone to go home?'

'The test was never going to be negative. I knew you were pregnant.'

'So you're a doctor now?'

'Absolutely. Your very own personal doctor. Ready to administer to your every need.'

He guides me forwards.

I fall into hug after hug with the people I love most in the world, and I can tell everyone is just delighted for us. Although Jen is a little quieter than usual. When Leo darts into the garden to take a phone call, she looks sort of sad.

'Everything okay Jen?' I ask.

She nods a little bit too quickly. 'Fine, fine.' She pastes on a smile. 'You're having a baby Soph! That is just the best news ever. You'll be such a great mum.'

'Thanks,' I say. 'But seriously Jen. I've known you a long time. What's going on?'

'Nothing that can't wait. This is your celebration day.'

'You're my best friend. I can't be happy unless you're happy. So spill it.'

Jen gives a theatrical sigh. 'Okay, fine. I'm just a bit worried about Leo. That's all.'

'Worried in what way?'

'He's acting funny.' Her eyes wander to the French windows that lead to the garden. 'I mean, why did he have to close those doors? It's warm enough. It's like he doesn't want anyone to hear him on the phone.'

'Maybe he was just being considerate,' I say. 'Sammy is toddling around. Perhaps Leo thought he'd get into the garden and hurt himself.'

Jen frowns. 'Why is it always like this with me and guys? It always starts out so great. Leo is just AMAZING. You know? When I see him in bed I pinch myself. That body. Those muscles.'

Tom leans over his wheelchair and says, 'Who are you talking about Jennifer? Would it be me by any chance?'

We both laugh.

Tom is dressed flamboyantly as always in a pink paisley shirt and Robin Hood hat banded with a pink silk ribbon.

'Hallelujah!' Tom cries. 'Laughter! You too were looking far too serious. But I'd keep your voices down when you're talking about my muscles. Tanya might get jealous.' He calls out, 'Isn't that right Tanya my love?'

'Isn't what right?' says Tanya in her thick Yorkshire accent.

'Jennifer was talking about me. She mentioned that body. Those muscles. Sounds like me, doesn't it?'

Tanya moves around the breakfast bar, a cup of tea in her hand. 'Oh absolutely.' She pats Tom's slight beer belly. 'You know how much I love your one pack. I'm always talking about it.'

'So why are you two girls looking so serious?' Tom asks. 'This is a celebration. What's going on?'

'Man troubles,' says Jen. 'Or at least ... possibly man troubles.'

'With the mighty Leo Falkirk?' says Tom, his accent refined and perfectly English as always. 'What on earth could be the trouble with him? If I weren't in love with Tanya I might have a crack at him myself. He's good looking enough to turn a straight man's head.'

'Hey.' Tanya puts an arm around Tom's shoulder. 'Don't you go flirting with movie stars.'

'Oh for Leo Falkirk you could make an exception, surely?' says Tom. 'He is very handsome.'

Tanya laughs. 'Jen might have something to say about that. Is everything okay Jen love? Nothing serious going on I hope?'

'I don't know,' says Jen. 'It feels like something's going on. How serious ... I couldn't tell you.'

'Leo seems like a great guy to me,' says Tanya. 'I mean ... I know I don't know him exactly. But from what I've seen. And he's crazy about you. He has to be near you. Always looking at you. You've got him wrapped around your little finger.'

'He's a great guy,' says Jen. 'Considerate. Thoughtful. Giving. I mean I know he can be a big kid at times, but he's always thinking about other people. And the s.e.x ... oh my G.o.d. He's like all spiritual. He can do this tantric stuff and make it last for hours.' Jen's eyes gla.s.s over for a moment. 'Sorry, what was I saying?'

'You're worried something's going on with Leo,' I prompt.

'Oh right. Yes. So ... since he started shooting this movie with you he just hasn't been himself. He makes phone calls at weird times and ... other things. The other day he was writing an email and when I stood over his shoulder he pulled up Google to cover what he was writing. He tried to pretend he was researching something but it was so obvious he was just hiding the email from me.'

'Oh I'm sure it's nothing to worry about,' says Tom.

But Tanya looks troubled. 'It's not good to hide things in relationships,' she says.

'That's what I think,' says Jen. 'Should I ask him? Ask him outright if something's going on?'

'Oh don't do that,' says Tom. 'Men hate paranoia in women. Do the decent thing and give him the benefit of the doubt. At least until you know something for certain.'

'I'm not sure Tom,' says Tanya. 'I'd want to know right away. If something was going on.'

Tom puts an arm around her waist. 'Nothing would ever be going on my love. I have found the best girl in the world and I'd never be stupid enough to ruin things. Now of course, I'm expecting you to cheat on me at some point-'

Tanya shrieks with laughter. 'Don't be daft.'

'It's ever since Leo started shooting this Rapunzel movie,' says Jen. 'And I can't help thinking ... I mean Sigourney Seymour is in the movie isn't she? His ex.'

My eyes fall to the floor as I think about the way Leo acted around Sigourney in the Peac.o.c.k Lounge.

'Soph? What is it?' Jen's eagle eyes fix on mine. 'Do you know something?'

'No. Not really.' I chew a fingernail guiltily.

'Soph! Don't even try and hide something from me. You know you're terrible at it. What is it? Tell me.'

'It really is nothing Jen. Just in the bar the other night I suppose Sigourney was flirting a little. And it seemed to bother Leo.'

'Bother him?' Jen asks. 'In what way bother him?'

'He just seemed ... ruffled.'

'Did he indeed?'

Uh oh. I exchange nervous glances with Tom and Tanya.

'That's it. He's having an affair with f.u.c.king Sigourney the f.u.c.king supermodel isn't he?'

'Jen that's so not what I meant. You know Leo. He's a good guy. I don't think he'd do something like that.'

'You don't think? That doesn't sound very certain. Right. I want to know everything. Every time they've talked on set. What was said. Everything.'

'They haven't spent time together from what I've seen,' I say. 'It really was only that time in the bar and it could mean anything. Leo told me that he and Sigourney were a disaster. They should never have been together. And that she did him a favour by breaking up with him.'

'He never told me she broke up with him,' says Jen, her volume rising.

'Did you ever ask him?' Tom asks gently.

'No but ... I mean it's important information. The papers said he dumped her and moved on to someone else.'

'No, she cheated on him,' I say. 'With the guy she married.'

'So he could still want her,' says Jen. 'G.o.d! Why do all my boyfriends turn out to be total a.r.s.eholes?'

'They don't,' I say. 'You've had some great boyfriends.'

'And some not so great ones. I knew all this was too good to be true. When it starts out great it only ever goes downhill.

'I don't think Leo is an a.r.s.ehole,' I say. 'Give him a chance. You don't know he's done anything yet.'

'He's been hiding emails and making secret phone calls. And now I find out that he's bothered by his ex-girlfriend flirting. You don't have to be a genius to figure it out, Soph. He's having an affair.'

'You read too many newspaper stories,' I say. 'Two and two doesn't always equal five.'

But Jen isn't listening to me.

'Well he's had it,' she shouts. 'It's so over. Completely over. I won't be treated like this.'

She storms towards the French windows and flings them open. 'Hey! Leo!' She throws a set of keys at him. 'When you've finished talking to your ex-girlfriend, you can help arrange for my stuff to be moved into my old apartment. It's finished. Do you hear me? Over.'