Destiny_ Lost Souls Part 23

Across the table from Riker, Dax folded her hands on the table in front of her and said, "We have a plan."

"You had a plan several hours ago," Picard replied. "It nearly cost Captain Hernandez her life."

Dax bristled. "It also saved five planets and cut the Borg invasion force in half."

"But if the Borg had a.s.similated her Caeliar technology-"

Riker interrupted, "They didn't, and there's no point arguing about something that didn't go wrong. We need to plan our next move, not dissect our last one." Realizing that he had only added to Dax's smug air, he looked at her and continued, "But the limited success of one reckless plan doesn't mean we should embrace another." With the room's tensions balanced, he added, "That said, we should at least hear what they have in mind."

"Very well," Picard said. He looked at Dax and waited.

Dax volleyed the expectant look toward Hernandez and said, "It was your idea."

"It's simple," Hernandez said to Picard and Riker. "We need to prevent the Borg from attacking any more planets and put them in a position where we can deal with all of them at once. I'm proposing that we end their invasion by luring them all back here to us, in deep s.p.a.ce."

Picard telegraphed his skepticism with one arched eyebrow. "And how, precisely, do you propose that we do so?"

Dax interjected, "By tempting them with the one kind of bait they can't resist: the Omega Molecule."

Riker asked, "How are we supposed to create one without any boronite? Replicators can't make it, and the nearest source is over two hundred light-years away."

Hernandez said, "We're not going to make Omega Molecules, we're going to bring them to us. More precisely, we're going to make the Caeliar bring them to us, by persuading them to move their city-ship here from New Erigol." She reached over to the companel and keyed in some new commands. An image of an Omega Molecule appeared on the screen. "After I came back from the Borg ship, I remembered reading in your files that the Borg worship 'Particle 010' as a symbol of perfection. I knew there was something familiar about it, so I bypa.s.sed your security protocols and accessed your data on the molecule. When I did, I knew where I'd seen it before, and it all made sense.

"The Caeliar power their city with an Omega Molecule generator," Hernandez continued. "All the energy they harness from the sh.e.l.ls around their planet and its star is used to mask the OMG's emissions. If I can get them to bring Axion here, free of that shielding, it'll be like a beacon for the Borg. They won't be able to resist it."

Grim-faced, Picard replied, "And once the Borg armada converges on us...what then?"

"We let the Caeliar deal with them," Hernandez said.

Picard got up from the table and paced away, visibly agitated. "Your last plan was reckless," he said to Dax. "This one is insane. Have you considered the risks? Never mind the damage the Borg could do if they a.s.similate Caeliar catoms. What if they gain control of an Omega Molecule generator? They'd have unlimited power to wreak havoc throughout the galaxy-and beyond. And if they were to lose control of the generator, an Omega Molecule explosion of that magnitude would destroy subs.p.a.ce for millions of light-years in every direction. Warp flight as we know it would cease to exist in this galaxy and several others."

Dax replied, "Yes, it's dangerous. We know that. But it's not like we have any better options. It's the best chance we have of stopping the Borg while there's still something left of the Federation to save."

"There are other options," Picard said. "We haven't tried using thalaron weapons against the Borg, and there's every reason to think thalaron radiation will affect the drones the same way it affects all other organic matter. If Commander La Forge can rig our deflector to emit a large enough thalaron pulse, we could wipe out the entire Borg armada."

Riker shot a dubious look at his former captain. "That's what Starfleet said about the transphasic torpedo, and the Borg have already adapted to that. h.e.l.l, for all we know, the Borg already have a defense against thalaron radiation."

"Perhaps," Picard said. "But we have to try, and it might buy us the time we need to organize and fight back."

"It's too late for that," Hernandez retorted. "We're long past settling for half-measures and stopgaps. We need to end the war with the Borg, Captain-and we need to end it now."

Leaning forward, Riker said, "I'm not convinced thalaron weapons are the best choice. Once that technology's unleashed, it'll be impossible to contain ever again." Looking at Dax and Hernandez, he continued, "But I also think we're forgetting one important fact about the Caeliar. First and foremost, they're isolationists, and just as important, they're pacifists. Not only will they not use force against the Borg, they might prevent us from defending ourselves."

Hernandez shook her head. "No, you're misreading them. They may be pacifists, but they're not suicidal. They won't let the Borg a.s.similate them or hijack their technology."

"What makes you so certain they could stop them?" asked Picard, his voice rich with cynicism. "I read the report you gave to Captain Riker. A squad of MACOs from your ship got the better of the Caeliar in 2168 and destroyed one of their cities. I guarantee you, the Borg will pose a far deadlier threat than your ship's military company."

"The MACOs took the Caeliar by surprise," Hernandez said, a deep bitterness infusing her words. "The Borg won't."

With sharp suspicion, Picard said, "What if they sympathize with the Borg?"

"I think that's unlikely," Hernandez said.

"But not impossible," Picard countered. "You said yourself that Caeliar technology was the likely foundation of the Borg's nanoprobes. What if the Caeliar see the Borg as a kindred race?"

"Actually," Dax said, "we're counting on it."

Riker and Picard exchanged befuddled stares. Then Riker said to Dax, "Come again?"

"No offense, Captains," Dax said, "but we-and Starfleet-have been pursuing the wrong strategy against the Borg. We've tried to match strength with strength, violence with violence. We keep getting suckered into battles of attrition we can't win."

Hernandez added, "The key to securing the Caeliar's help is to change our mission. Instead of destroying the Collective, we should liberate it. The Borg don't need to be wiped out, they need to be saved. The Caeliar can help us do that."

"Are you mad?" Picard said. "The Borg are laying waste to worlds, and we need to save them?"

"I'm disappointed," Hernandez said. "You of all people should know this. You were a.s.similated and came back; you know from experience what it's like to be smothered in that nightmare. Now imagine trillions of beings like yourself, all trapped in that h.e.l.l. They're slaves, Jean-Luc, and we might have the power to release them."

Dax added, "I think that as Starfleet officers-as sentient beings-we owe it to them, and to ourselves, to at least try."

Picard turned away and stared out a window at the stars. "As you pointed out so eloquently, Captain Dax, we hold the same rank. I can't compel you not to pursue this course of action." He looked over his shoulder at her and Hernandez. "You ignored my advice before, and I expect you'll do so again. So be it."

"If only it were that simple," Dax said. "Unfortunately, this time, I actually need your consent."

Picard turned back to face the other captains. "Why?"

"Because we need your help," Dax said. "The Aventine's subs.p.a.ce transmitter got fried when the Borg hit us with our shields down, and t.i.tan's transmitter is too badly damaged to be repaired in time." She traded dismayed looks with Hernandez and added, "Our only hope of contacting the Caeliar is to reconfigure the Enterprise's transmitter to create a subs.p.a.ce microtunnel, through which Erika can link with their gestalt."

Frowning, Picard returned to the table and rested his hands on the top of his chair. "So...if I refuse, this plan cannot proceed?" Dax and Hernandez nodded. "Then consider it vetoed."

The two women looked dejected, and Riker knew how they felt. He was certain something was wrong with Picard. In as diplomatic a tone as he could muster, he said "Captain Dax, Captain Hernandez, would you give us the room, please?"

Dax got up from her chair as Hernandez switched the companel screen back to its standby mode. The two women left the observation lounge. After the door hushed closed behind them, Riker reclined his chair a bit and let the silence weigh on himself and Picard, to see if his old friend and former commander had any desire to elaborate.

Finally, Picard said, "I take it you disagree with my decision, Will."

"Frankly, yes," Riker said.

Picard pulled back his chair and settled into it. "We can't take that kind of risk with the Borg," he said. "This is bigger than the Federation. If we give the Borg a chance to acquire the kind of technology the Caeliar possess, we might condemn the entire galaxy to suffer our fate-and maybe others, as well."

"If we don't stop the Borg now, that's all pretty much guaranteed," Riker said. "Besides, you're talking like the Federation's already gone. If the Caeliar can help unmake the Borg, we can end this without more bloodshed and save the Federation. Isn't that what we ought to be aiming for?"

Hatred hardened Picard's frown. "I'm not sure the Borg deserve such mercy," he said.

"Maybe not," Riker said. "But what about the individuals trapped inside the Collective? Do they deserve it?"

Swiveling his chair away from Riker, Picard mumbled, "Perhaps. I don't know."

"Captain Hernandez seems to think they do. And given a choice, I'd rather try to save lives than destroy them."

"It's not so simple a calculus," Picard said. "How can I commit myself to aiding the enemy when my people are poised on the brink of destruction?" He turned and looked Riker in the eye. "Maybe you can explain that to me."

An unspoken accusation seemed to lurk in Picard's words, and it struck an uneasy chord in Riker. "What's really bothering you, Jean-Luc?"

"Aside from Borg invasion fleets marauding through Federation s.p.a.ce?"

Riker replied, "Yes, besides that. You sounded as if you were blaming me for something. More than that, you don't sound like yourself-not like the man I served with for fifteen years. Where's that Jean-Luc Picard?"

"Et tu?" Picard breathed a heavy, defeated sigh. "First Beverly, now you. Who was this other man you all claim to have known? I thought it was me, but I keep hearing otherwise."

"The man I know isn't afraid to risk taking the high road," Riker said. "He wouldn't let fear make him choose certain defeat instead of a shot at victory, just because success might mean mercy for an enemy that had hurt him."

"Is that what you think this is about? A vendetta? Or some simple phobia? I wonder, then, whether you ever knew me at all."

"You keep pushing me away," Riker said. "Did I do something to offend you? Was it something I said?"

Picard shook his head. "Of course not."

"But there is something that's bothering you, isn't there?"

"It's not my place to interfere," Picard said.

"It's not interference if your advice is invited."

Wound up with tension, Picard turned his chair away from Riker, stood, and paced along the bulkhead opposite the windows. He folded his hands together in front of him as he walked the length of the observation lounge, turned back, and retraced his steps. He stopped in front of the companel. "I don't really have advice, Will. Just confusion."

"About what?"

"How could you abandon Deanna?" Picard fixed Riker with a forlorn stare. "You left her behind, Will, and your away team."

"I did what I had to do," Riker said, pushing back against the rising tide of his guilt.

Picard moved in slow steps toward the windows. "Had I been in your place," he said pensively, "I'm not sure I could have chosen duty over Beverly so easily."

"I never said it was easy," Riker replied. "But I've seen you make decisions like that before. With Nella Daren, for one."

Holding up one hand, Picard replied, "That was different. For one thing, I wasn't married to Nella." He folded his arms. "For another, Nella wasn't pregnant. Beverly is."

A surge of grief and anger clenched Riker's jaw. All the feelings he had suppressed since Deanna left t.i.tan rushed back in force, crowding his thoughts. He pressed his fist to his mouth as he fought to master his bitter, desperate emotions.

Picard took note of Riker's reaction and froze, his face a mask of embarra.s.sment and sympathy. "What have I said, Will?"

The last thing Riker had wanted was to make this conversation about him. He inhaled sharply and set his still-clenched fist on the tabletop. "Deanna and I...," he began, before his voice trailed off, swallowed up in his sorrow. He composed himself and continued in a clipped, strained voice. "We-we've been trying to start a family. It was hard. Hormone injections. Fertility treatments. Gene therapy." Finding a dispa.s.sionate frame of mind from which to continue was difficult. "We thought we'd done it," he said. "About half a year ago. But it...Deanna...we had a miscarriage."

"Mon dieu," Picard whispered, and he seemed to deflate as he let go of a deep breath. He looked stricken by the news as he settled back into his chair. "I'm so sorry, Will."

"It's been a wedge, forcing us apart," Riker confessed. "After she recovered, we tried again. We thought this time it would all be okay, but it wasn't. The new embryo was deformed, and it'll miscarry, too-it's only a matter of time. But Deanna won't terminate the pregnancy, even though this one could kill her. And I think it's my fault."

"How is any of that your fault?" asked Picard.

"I was supposed to be the voice of reason," Riker said. "After the first miscarriage, I should have said enough and put an end to the whole thing. But the empathic bond between me and Deanna makes it hard to say no to her. I don't even remember anymore which one of us wanted a family. All I know is that I'm supposed to protect her." He slammed his fist on the table. "And when she needed me most, I left her behind! Alone, on the other side of the G.o.dd.a.m.n galaxy!" He finally unclenched his hand, but only so he could use it to cover his closed eyes.

Sotto voce, Picard asked, "Have you tried talking with anyone about this?"

"Yeah," Riker said. "I talked to Chris. What a mistake."

"Not an easy subject for a captain to discuss with a member of his crew," Picard said, acknowledging Riker's dilemma. "Not even with a trusted first officer."

Lowering his hand, Riker opened his eyes and nodded at Picard. "Exactly," he said. "Until now, I didn't really get how vital it is to keep some things from my crew-how valuable personal privacy is."

"I understand," Picard said. "Believe me."

"So, now you know what's eating me alive," Riker said. "Are you ready to tell me what's bothering you?"

Picard grimaced and drummed his fingertips on the table for a few seconds. "Our problems are similar but not the same," he said. "What they have in common...is fatherhood." He turned himself a few degrees closer to facing Riker and spoke in a measured hush. "For a long time, I told myself that I didn't want a family, that I didn't need one. Certainly, there were fleeting moments, days when I'd wonder, 'What if...?' But I never took them seriously. Not until Robert and Rene died."

Riker recalled the day when Picard had received the news that his brother and nephew had perished in a fire on Earth. He saw in his friend's eyes that the pain of that tragedy still lingered in Picard's psyche, an open emotional wound.

"I even told myself I didn't need love," Picard continued. "Part of me actually believed it. Then I met Anij..." Mentioning the Bak'u woman's name brought a wistful, fleeting smile to Picard's face. "She showed me what I had given up and how much I really needed it. But I was still afraid. I should have just reached out to Beverly right then and made up for lost time, but I hesitated-and I almost lost her. That's what it took for me to see what she really meant to me." Powerful emotions threatened to crack Picard's stoic facade, and Riker grasped how traumatic this discussion had to be for him. Picard's eyes gleamed with the threat of tears. "So I let her into my life. And it's been a wonder and a joy, Will. I curse myself daily for not having invited her in sooner. But when she suggested we have a child together, I panicked. The idea terrified me."

With gentle curiosity, Riker asked, "Why?"

"I concocted so many arbitrary reasons that you'd laugh if I told you half of them," Picard said. "But the truth is, I was afraid it would be like tempting fate." A haunted expression settled on him like a mask. "After all these years and excuses, for me to start a family...it seemed like a portent of doom. And no sooner did Beverly and I conceive our son than the Borg began their invasion." He shook his head and permitted himself a bitter chuckle. "I feel like Coleridge's Ancient Mariner, after he shot the albatross. I indulged myself with one selfish act, and in the process, I've condemned countless others to suffer and die for my mistake."

Shaking his head in denial, Riker replied, "You can't be serious. You don't really believe the Borg invaded because you and Beverly conceived a child?"

"No, of course not," Picard said, his tone sharp with frustration. "It's not about logic, or reason, or causality. It's about creating new life and then being afraid you'll have to watch it die." He lifted his hands and covered his face for several seconds while he slowed and deepened his breathing. Then he lowered his hands and said, "It took me so long to let something real into my life, and now all I can think about is the Borg taking it away. Even if we stop this invasion, what then? What of the next one, Will? Must my family, must my son, live in the shadow of this menace every day of his life?" The anger left Picard's voice; in its place was nothing but quiet desperation. "When will it end?"

"It will end when we end it." Riker leaned forward and stared at Picard until his old friend looked back at him. "I've seen what the Caeliar can do, Jean-Luc, and I think Hernandez is right. If anyone can stand up to the Borg, they can. I also agree with Dax. If we can end this war and save the people a.s.similated by the Collective, we have a duty as Starfleet officers to try."

Picard frowned. "And if Dax and Hernandez are wrong, we'll unleash the greatest horror the galaxy has ever seen."

"So, we hasten the inevitable," Riker said, fed up with Picard's impenetrable pessimism. "The Borg are less than two hours from Earth. Could our plan backfire? Yes, but we can't let that paralyze us. It's time for a leap of faith."

The older man shook his head dismissively and said, "You're talking about hope."

"Yes, I am."

"We'll need more than hope to fight the Borg."

"True," Riker said. "But without it, we might as well just give up." He got up and walked to the door, which hissed open ahead of him. Standing in the doorway, he looked back at Picard. "We can fight for hope, or we can give in to despair. The choice is yours, Jean-Luc. Let me know what you decide."

23.