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He was right. It was not so much admiration as awe and worship that held the house that night. I have heard a man say since that he wonders how the play could ever have raised anything beyond a laugh.
He should have heard the sobs that every now and then would break uncontrollably forth, even whilst Claire was speaking. He should have felt the hush that followed every scene before the audience could recollect itself and pay its thunderous tribute.
Still she never looked towards me, though all the while my eyes were following my lost love. Her purpose--and somehow in my heart I grew more and more convinced that some purpose lay beneath this transcendent display--was waiting for its accomplishment, and in the ringing triumph of her voice I felt it coming nearer--nearer--until at last it came.
The tragedy was nearly over. Francesca had dismissed her old lover and his new bride from their captivity and was now left alone upon the stage. The last expectant hush had fallen upon the house.
Then she stepped slowly forward in the dead silence, and as she spoke the opening lines, for the first time our eyes met.
"Here then all ends:--all love, all hate, all vows, All vain reproaches. Aye, 'tis better so.
So shall he best forgive and I forget, Who else had chained him to a life-long curse, Who else had sought forgiveness, given in vain While life remained that made forgiveness dear.
Far better to release him--loving more Now love denies its love and he is free, Than should it by enjoyment wreck his joy.
Blighting his life for whom alone I lived.
"No, no. As G.o.d is just, it could not be.
Yet, oh, my love, be happy in the days I may not share, with her whose present lips Usurp the rights of my lost sovranty.
I would not have thee think--save now and then As in a dream that is not all a dream-- On her whose love was sunshine for an hour, Then died or e'er its beams could blast thy life.
Be happy and forget what might have been, Forget my dear embraces in her arms, My lips in hers, my children in her sons, While I-- Dear love, it is not hard to die Now once the path is plain. See, I accept And step as gladly to the sacrifice As any maid upon her bridal morn-- One little stroke--one tiny touch of pain And I am quit of pain for evermore.
It needs no bravery. Wert thou here to see, I would not have thee weep, but look--one stroke, And thus--"
What was that shriek far back there in the house? What was that at sight of which the audience rose white and aghast from their seats?
What was it that made Sebastian as he entered rush suddenly forward and fall with awful cry before Francesca's body? What was that trickling down the folds of her white dress? Blood?
Yes, blood! In an instant I put my hand upon the cushion of the box, vaulted down to the stage and was kneeling beside my dying love.
But as the clamorous bell rang down the curtain, I heard above its noise a light and silvery laugh, and looking up saw in the box next to mine the coal-black devilish eyes of the yellow woman.
Then the curtain fell.
CHAPTER IX.
TELLS HOW TWO VOICES LED ME TO BOARD A SCHOONER; AND WHAT BEFELL THERE.
She died without speech. Only, as I knelt beside her and strove to staunch that cruel stream of blood, her beautiful eyes sought mine in utter love and, as the last agony shook her frame, strove to rend the filmy veil of death and speak to me still. Then, with one long, contented sigh, my love was dead. It was scarcely a minute before all was over. I pressed one last kiss upon the yet warm lips, tenderly drew her white mantle across the pallid face, and staggered from the theatre.
I had not raved or protested as I had done that same afternoon.
Fate had no power to make me feel now; the point of anguish was pa.s.sed, and in its place succeeded a numb stupidity more terrible by far, though far more blessed.
My love was dead. Then I was dead for any sensibility to suffering that I possessed. Hatless and cloak-less I stepped out into the freezing night air, and regardless of the curious looks of the pa.s.sing throng I turned and walked rapidly westward up the Strand.
There was a large and eager crowd outside the Coliseum, for already the news was spreading; but something in my face made them give room, and I pa.s.sed through them as a man in a trance.
The white orb of the moon was high in heaven; the frozen pavement sounded hollow under-foot; the long street stood out, for all its yellow gas-light, white and distinct against the clear air; but I marked nothing of this. I went westward because my home lay westward, and some instinct took my hurrying feet thither. I had no purpose, no sensation. For aught I knew, that night London might have been a city of the dead.
Suddenly I halted beneath a lamp-post and began dimly to think.
My love was dead:--that was the one fact that filled my thoughts at first, and so I strove to image it upon my brain, but could not.
But as I stood there feebly struggling with the thought another took its place. Why should I live? Of course not; better end it all at once--and possessed with this idea I started off once more.
By degrees, as I walked, a plan shaped itself before me. I would go home, get my grandfather's key, together with the tin box containing my father's Journal, and then make for the river. That would be an easy death, and I could sink for ever, before I perished, all trace of the black secret which had pursued my life. I and the mystery would end together--so best. Then, without pain, almost with ghastly merriment, I thought that this was the same river which had murmured so sweetly to my love. Well, no doubt its voice would be just as musical over my grave. The same river:--but nearer the sea now-- nearer the infinite sea.
As I reflected, the idea took yet stronger possession of me. Yes, it was in all respects the best. The curse should end now. "Even as the Heart of the Ruby is Blood and its Eyes a Flaming Fire, so shall it be for them that would possess it: Fire shall be their portion and Blood their inheritance for ever." For ever? No: the river should wash the blood away and quench the fire. Then arose another text and hammered at the door of my remembrance. "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it." "Many waters"--"many waters":--the words whispered appealingly, invitingly, in my ears.
"Many waters." My feet beat a tune to the words.
I reached my lodgings, ran upstairs, took out the key and the tin box, and descended again into the hall. My landlord was slipping down the latch. He stared at seeing me.
"Do not latch the door just yet: I am going out again," I said simply.
"Going out! I thought, sir, it was you as just now come in."
"Yes, but I must go out again:--it is important."
He evidently thought me mad; and so indeed I was.
"What, sir, in that dress? You've got no hat--no--"
I had forgotten. "True," I said; "get me a hat and coat."
He stared and then ran upstairs for them. Returning he said, "I have got you these, sir; but I can't find them as you usually wears."
"Those will do," I answered. "I must have left the others at the theatre."
This reduced him to utter speechlessness. Mutely he helped me to don the cloak over my thin evening dress. I slipped the tin box and the key into the pockets. As I stepped out once more into the night, my landlord found his speech.
"When will you be back, sir?"
The question startled me for a moment; for a second or two I hesitated.
"I asked because you have no latch-key, as I suppose you left it in your other coat. So that--"
"It does not matter," I answered. "Do not sit up. I shall not be back before morning;" and with that I left him still standing at the door, and listening to my footsteps as they hurried down the street.
"Before morning!" Before morning I should be in another world, if there were another world. And then it struck me that Claire and I might meet. She had taken her own life and so should I. But no, no--Heaven would forgive her that; it could not condemn my saint to the pit where I should lie: it could not be so kindly cruel; and then I laughed a loud and bitter laugh.
Still in my dull stupor I found myself nearing the river. I have not mentioned it before, but I must explain now, that during the summer I had purchased a boat, in which my Claire and I were used to row idly between Streatley and Pangbourne, or whithersoever love guided our oars. This boat, with the approach of winter, I had caused to be brought down the river and had housed in a waterman's shed just above Westminster, until the return of spring should bring back once more the happy days of its employment.
In my heart I blessed the chance that had stored it ready to my hand.
Stumbling through dark and tortuous streets where the moon's frosty brilliance was almost completely hidden, I came at last to the waterman's door and knocked. He was in bed and for some time my summons was in vain. At last I heard a sound in the room above, the window was let down and a sulky voice said, "Who's there?"
"Is that you, Bagnell?" I answered. "Come down. It is I, Mr.
Trenoweth, and I want you."
There was a low cursing, a long pause broken by a muttered dispute upstairs, and then the street door opened and Bagnell appeared with a lantern.
"Bagnell, I want my boat."
"To-night, sir? And at this hour?"
"Yes, to-night. I want it particularly."