De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bona Part 2

Arrived in India, Mr. Moribund promised his son, Morton, to arrange for a tiger shooting expedition. This fatal promise caused all the trouble, for Mr. Moribund, owing to his visual defects, thought he observed a tiger approaching from the west and forthwith discharged his rifle. The bullet missed the tiger and pa.s.sed through the head of the unfortunate Morton, who was thereby killed on the spot. Mr. Moribund, horrified by the accident, moved his position and slid from the back of the elephant right into the jaws of the infuriated animal. a.s.sistance was rendered immediately, and Mr. Moribund was rescued from his unfortunate position, but not before he had sustained injuries from which he succ.u.mbed four days subsequently.

Mr. Moribund, by his will, left everything of which he was possessed to his widow absolutely. This property, after deducting debts, amounted to 137,500, but an examination of his affairs disclosed the fact that two years previously he had conveyed as an absolute gift to his son, Morton, the sum of 100,000. This money had been invested by Morton in Bearer Bonds of the Royal j.a.panese Steamship Company at an average price of 80%, but on the date of Morton's death these Bonds stood at 120%. Morton, by will, had left his entire fortune to a Miss Flossie Teazle, an actress whom he had met at Oxford.

[Ill.u.s.tration: The Death of Mr. Mordecai Moribund.]

Show what duties were payable to the State as a direct consequence of the Tragedy.

Note.--The following epitaph, shamelessly copied from one in Malmesbury Abbey, was inscribed on Mr. Moribund's Tomb:--

In bloom of life He's s.n.a.t.c.hed from hence, He had not room To make defence; For Tyger fierce Took life away, And here he lies In bed of clay Until the Resurrection Day.

PROBLEM No. 5.

It is a strange circ.u.mstance that little men with red hair usually have large families. At any rate Septimus Hawkins had red hair and twelve children, of whom eleven were living, but strangest of all he died intestate worth 122,600 subject to the payment of Estate Duty, and of which the Real property was valued at 36,000.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "Mrs. Hawkins had been very beautiful in her younger days."]

Mrs. Hawkins had been very beautiful in her younger days, but time and children had robbed her of her rosy cheeks; and realising that widow's weeds did not become her, she withdrew shortly after the funeral to the seclusion of a country life, where she spent her time ministering to the sick, and looking after her late daughter Pearl's two small children. The names of her children in chronological order were as follows:--

1. P earl. Died 1912 2. E dward.

3. R ebecca.

4. S elina.

5. E mma.

6. V era.

7. E velyn.

8. R ichard.

9. A melia.

10. N athaniel.

11. C hlotilde.

12. E rmyntrude.

How should the property of the late Septimus Hawkins be distributed, and how much did the respective beneficiaries receive?

PROBLEM No. 6.

Very few men can state with any degree of accuracy how long they will live, but Nathaniel Hibbert told his Wife he would die at 8 o'clock in the morning of Tuesday, the 22nd April, 1913, and he did die at that very time on that very day. He was standing on some scaffolding when a platform gave way under his very feet, and he broke his spinal cord. In other words he was hanged. His Solicitor urged him to make a Will and the prison Chaplain added his earnest entreaties, but Mr. Hibbert turned a deaf ear to all such suggestions. Even the sight of his Wife and only child did not affect his determination, and he died intestate.

What happened to the 1,200 of which he died possessed?

[Ill.u.s.tration: "Mr. Chicory loved his wife almost as much as Mrs. Chicory loved her husband."]

PROBLEM No. 7.

Mr. Chicory loved his wife almost as much as Mrs. Chicory loved her husband. They had lived together for nearly forty years, and every Sat.u.r.day morning throughout that long time Mr. Chicory had faithfully handed over to his wife his entire earnings, which were not much, and deducted only 5s. per week, which served as pocket money for Mr. Chicory, and enabled him to provide coals during the winter months, collection money at church, oil for the lamps, and sundry presents from time to time to his children, to say nothing of the Lame Crossing Sweeper.

Each week a small sum was deposited in the Post Office Savings Bank, and when Mr. Chicory died, not only had he to the credit of this account a balance of 108 0s. 10d., but his Cottage, which was valued at 90, was his own Freehold Property. He had made a Will and paid the Solicitor 10s. 6d. for drawing it up, and n.o.body could have read what he said about his old wife, to whom he left everything, without feeling a lump in the throat.

On the day of his funeral not one blind was undrawn in all the Cottages round about, and Mr. Michaelmas, the Carriage Builder, sent a landau specially for Mrs. Chicory. At least one hundred people went to the Church, where the good old Vicar read the Service, and the Lame Crossing Sweeper painted his broom-handle black.

Mrs. Chicory, some weeks later, paid the Solicitor another 10s. 6d., as a fee, and asked him to do the rest.

What did he do?

PROBLEM No. 8.

Men who are mean during life and who would grudge a present of 5s. to the postman at Christmas, or who would spend a whole day in another man's motor car and fail to tip the Chauffeur at the end of the journey, often prove very generous with their money when they die and can no longer enjoy the satisfaction of possession, which during lifetime they cherished so dearly.

Such creatures usually bequeath their property to Charitable Inst.i.tutions at the expense of deserving relatives, who have, at any rate, in Equity, a claim to at least some small share thereof.

The Law of Italy corrects this injustice, and no man can will away at death the whole of his property to strangers, if he leaves a Widow or Relatives living of a nearer kinship than a First Cousin.

Now Vincentio Dorando was an Italian subject, whose nearest living relative was a First Cousin once removed. He had been educated at Oxford and had spent the greater portion of his life in England, but at the time of his death he was domiciled in France. He left no property of any sort in Italy or France, and no duties were found to be payable in either of these Countries. He had property in England, however, which consisted of 15,000 j.a.panese 4-1/2 per cent. Bonds at 94, a Freehold House valued at 2,500, and some Furniture and Pictures which were stored at Messrs.

Hudson's Repository, and which were valued for Probate at 480. The only debt due at death was a Tailor's Bill for 62.

He had made a perfectly valid Will in England, by which he bequeathed all his property, with the exception of his Real Estate, to his old Oxford friend, Mr. James Duncan, for life, with remainder over to Mr. Duncan's eldest son. He left the Freehold House to another Oxford friend, Mr.

Wallstone.

Show what Duties were payable to the Inland Revenue Authorities upon the death of Mr. Vincentio Dorando.

[Ill.u.s.tration: The Jollybuck Twins--as they appeared, no doubt, to Mrs.

Jollybuck and the Nurse--prospective world-geniuses.]