Darlings of Darkness: A Vampire Anthology Part 19

Nodding, I turned to the bed to draw the dirty sheet up over her head. I would have closed her eyes, but the shock in her frozen expression made me reluctant to touch her.

"Ok, let's go talk to Raoul. See what he knows about a wolf hybrid." I'd seen enough.

"What does it look like?" The vampire's cool touch on my arm caused a small spark. "Our auras, I mean."

In his jaded gaze, I clearly saw his envy. I had an ability that he did not. I hid the smile that caused my lips to twitch as we descended the stairs side by side.

"They arc like electricity between us, connecting us in the center." I vaguely indicated the lower chakra region on my body and didn't miss his sly grin and nod.

"Of course," he purred low in my ear. "That's only fitting."

"Get off," I growled playfully with an elbow in his side.

We followed the short hall to the kitchen where Raoul and Julian spoke in hushed tones. Zak stood on the front deck with his cell phone pressed to his ear.

They all turned to look at us expectantly, and I hated that I got sucked into this c.r.a.p. Raoul offered me a cup of coffee, which I took out of obligation, not because I wanted any. Surprisingly, he remembered my three creams, two sugars.

I glanced at Arys who met my gaze with an intensity that I didn't like. Not here, not now. Sure, that wasn't what I'd been saying before.

"Would you mind running some security while I talk with Raoul?" I asked with a look said this wasn't the time or place for energy games.

With a wink and a slight nod of his head, he replied, "Of course. Anything for you, my love."

My face turned ten different shades of red. What was it with men? Why was it necessary to make it so obvious?

"Raoul, if you and I could have a moment of privacy?" I carefully ignored the other Weres' appraising glances. So, Arys was willing to share with Shaz but no one else? How thoughtful.

"Sure, let's go in the den."

I followed him into his cozy office. Small and windowless, it held only a sofa, desk and bookshelf, but we could sit and shut everything else out. When he closed the door, I took a deep breath and spoke with my voice low.

"A hybrid killed Belle, and Julie and Sheridan, too." I shuffled from foot to foot, nervous of his reaction.

Raoul's face drained of all color, and he sat heavily on the edge of the desk. His wide shoulders slumped, and I read in his coal black eyes what I'd suspected all along.

"You know who it is," I declared. "If you expect me to put myself on the line, then you'd better start talking. Now."

I crossed my arms and fixed him with my best "take no s.h.i.t" expression. He stared at my feet for what felt like an eternity.

I was ready to hurl a tirade of irritated curses, when he forced his eyes to mine. I could feel his anguish and shame like a worn cloak of bitterness settling about my shoulders.

"G.o.d, Alexa, don't hate me. I've made some really big mistakes in my past. Bigger than you'd ever imagine." He ran a hand through his damp hair, which trailed water droplets along the shoulders of his grey t-shirt. I said nothing, waiting for him to go on.

"I was so afraid that she was behind this. After all this time. I should have known better." His eyes took on a haze that indicated he was reliving a memory, and I was keenly aware of the way his bottom lip trembled ever so slightly. The wolf in me was curious what he would do if I bit it.

"I swear to you, Alexa, I never thought she would hurt innocent people to get to me. You have to believe that."

"Listen Raoul, if you dragged me into some scorned-lover on the warpath bulls.h.i.t, I'm going to be super-p.i.s.sed. I've had enough of that s.h.i.t for one week."

He looked puzzled. "No, no, it isn't like that."

"Then why don't you give me a little more information before I decide you're wasting my time?" His nervous jitters made me anxious. His energy p.r.i.c.kled along my skin like hot sparks from a fireplace. "We both know how hard hybrids are to come by. Let's just cut to the chase."

He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "Her name is Zoey Roberts. She's my daughter."

Chapter Sixteen.

"Oh, this just keeps getting better." I did nothing to hide my exasperation. "When were you planning on mentioning this, and why the h.e.l.l would your daughter be on a murderous rampage? What did you do to her?"

My words ended on a squeak. Instinctively, my hands balled into white-knuckled fists. Adrenaline blazed through my veins, and I forced myself to breathe deep and calm.

"Oh, that is so typical." He fixed me with his black stare, but instead of vehement, he was only weary. "You immediately a.s.sume it's my fault that somebody else chose to take lives? I'm not pulling the strings here, Alexa. I didn't think your feminist side went so far as to condone murder."

He was right. I was out of line. "Hey, I am not a feminist. I'm an equal." I took an awkward step back but didn't apologize. "You're right though. I shouldn't automatically accuse you, so keep talking."

With a half-hearted shrug, he said, "I met her mother more than twenty years ago. She was the first of only two women that I truly loved. I'd just turned twenty-one. She was a few years younger, and though I knew I should stay away from her, I just couldn't resist." He smiled then, but it lacked his usual arrogance and sarcasm.

"Her name was Naomi," he continued. The love in his eyes shocked me. "She sparkled with such life. I'd only been a werewolf for two years and was still struggling to come to terms with my wolf, but it was worth learning to have her in my life."

A long heavy sigh escaped him. He sounded so defeated, and I reminded myself that I had no reason to feel sorry for him. Not yet.

"So what happened?" I asked with feigned casualness.

His eyes roamed around the small room, and I could feel his blood pressure increase. "She actually fell in love with me. We dreamed of having a picket fence life and living happily ever after." He laughed bitterly and wiped the corner of one eye. "I was an idiot to think I could have that."

"She didn't know, did she?" I could see where this was going.

"No. She told me she was pregnant, so I had to tell her. I was so G.o.dd.a.m.ned scared."

I would have been too. Weres are generally sterile. However, rare fecundity led to offspring like Jez, a natural full-blooded Were, and hybrids, a wolf and human combination. Neither is common by any means.

I sat as Raoul paced the office. I perched on the arm of the couch and followed his movements with my gaze. "So, you told her."

"And, she hated me. She screamed and cried. She thought I was crazy until I showed her." His voice grew thick with unshed tears. "Then, she simply feared me. Her pregnancy was full of complications. Zoey was a parasite that tried to consume her. Still, Naomi refused to see me. She finally called me during labor, when she realized that it was killing her."

Raoul stopped pacing with his back to me. I said nothing, as his heart-rending pain reached me. My heart ached for him, but I didn't let his emotions influence my reactions.

He took one long shuddery breath. "By the time I reached her, she was barely hanging on. She begged me to take care of Zoey, no matter what, and I swore that I would."

When he turned to me again, unshed tears glittered in his ebony eyes like diamonds. I couldn't imagine how hard it was for him to face me like that.

"I failed her, Alexa. G.o.d help me, I thought I was doing the right thing for her at the time."

"Tell me what you did with her, Raoul." He trembled. How many had he told this secret to?

The need to comfort him won out. I went to him, bridged the distance between us, and reached out to grasp his large hand. It was warm and slightly damp. I leaned in, just enough to rub my face gently alongside his. I nuzzled him with a teenage affection that wouldn't die after all these years.

He surprised me by grabbing me in a big hug that pulled me off balance. The scent of shampoo, cologne and musky wolf filled my nostrils, and the sudden desire to run on four feet struck me.

"I went to an older wolf that I trusted for help," he continued in a sudden rush. "I didn't know how I'd manage to work and raise a baby while being a d.a.m.n shifter. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do."

When I pulled back gently, he allowed me to disengage myself from his grasp. I was afraid to speak, afraid he would stop sharing.

"She helped me locate a tight-knit pack down south that was willing to care for her while teaching her about her mixed blood. They had women to nurture her in ways that I never could. But now, it seems like a mistake."

It didn't sound like a bad choice to me considering his options at the time. But, I wasn't Zoey, and she obviously felt betrayed. The girl was on a d.a.m.n rampage.

"You made the choice you thought was best for her. How can that be a mistake?"

"She apparently thinks so. She's single handedly destroying the women that I've been involved with. I knew she was upset, but I never would have guessed she'd take it this far."

That made me snap to attention. "What? So you've been in contact with her over the years?"

The look he gave me was full of scorn, and he scoffed. "I'm not a dead-beat dad, Alexa. I didn't just dump her and run. I stayed there for two weeks with her before I felt right about leaving her. I wrote and called and went to see her up until a few years ago when she asked me not to."

With a shrug of his ma.s.sive shoulders, his short-lived defense evaporated. "She can't forgive me for not keeping her. But, she was blossoming there, and I didn't think to bring her here. I'm a bachelor. My lifestyle isn't right for a young woman. Sometimes, I think she hates me for being wolf while she cannot without risking everything."

Part of me was astounded at how completely clueless he was. I turned it over in my head. Hybrids have a much harder existence than the average Were. A hybrid is born missing a piece of the puzzle. Their half-human blood inhibits the ability to change forms. The urge to shift could never truly be fulfilled. If a hybrid did manage to change forms, they rarely shifted back. Many were trapped in wolf form forever. It made sense that a hybrid could be driven completely mad from resisting their natural urges.

"How was she doing with everything? The full moon and the wolf urges." I moved across the room to feign interest in the bookshelf. The puzzle had come together, or I thought it had.

"Good, for the most part. Or, at least I thought she was. It wasn't until the past five years or so that things began to change with her. I'm not going to give you the long version but you can see where it's led to." He gestured wildly at nothing, but I nodded just the same.

"She sees you from a distance, pouring your affections on other women. When you said you live the bachelor life, you weren't kidding."

"Do you have a point?"

"Yes," I bared my teeth at him. "In her eyes, you have all of this love and attention to shower on other women, but you've abandoned her. Is this making some sense to you? Throw in the whole being a hybrid thing, and it's no wonder she's lost her marbles."

Raoul gave me a blank look that told me my words weren't registering completely. I chalked it up to purposeful ignorance on his part. He can be the kind of guy that will blame you for his guilt after he screws you over.

A thought suddenly occurred to me. "You said that Naomi was one of two women you loved... Who was the other?"

Raoul's eyes narrowed in a glare and a chill stole over me. The atmosphere shifted so dramatically that I was momentarily confused.

"Why?" He asked, suspiciously.

I stared at him. His demeanor told me to be wary. "Because you said she was the first of two. I just thought that maybe the other woman may have something to do with Zoey's mental decline."

The heavy silence that followed made me wish I hadn't asked. However, I wondered why it was such a touchy subject. He stared daggers into me. He blinked, took a deep breath, and ran a hand through his hair. Ultimately, he turned away with his head down.

"I really don't want to talk about it, Lex, but believe me, those are two entirely separate times of my life. I don't believe Zoey could have known anything about the other woman anyway." The way that he said that spurred even more interest in this mysterious second great love of Raoul's life.

When I refocused, another thought struck me. I'd been involved with Raoul at one point, on and off for a very long time.

"I'm sorry, Raoul, but I've got to warn you, if she comes after me-"

"Don't say it!" He interrupted. "I know. I would expect you to defend yourself. But promise me, if you come across her before I do, you won't kill her. Please."

After years of imagining Raoul begging me for something, the reality wasn't at all satisfying. It didn't really feel good in any way.

"I can't make any promises to you. If it's me or her, I'm walking out of it alive. h.e.l.l, maybe what she really wants is someone to put her out of her misery after two decades of torture."

Wow. When had I become so cold? The words froze on my tongue, and I briefly wondered if Arys's att.i.tude had rubbed off on me, another lovely parting gift from him. That was ridiculous, and I knew it. I was bitter enough to kick Raoul when he was down, but I don't play that dirty.

"I'm sorry, Raoul. That was a nasty thing for me to say."

I felt guilty and crude as I waited for him to say something. His disgusted look spoke volumes, and I wished I could drop into a hole and hide. Couldn't this moment just end already?

"Clearly, you have your own issues with me, Lex." He spoke softer than I'd been antic.i.p.ating. "I suppose I should be thankful you haven't already taken me out. Or tried to."

Something about that last sentence. Was that a challenge? I couldn't believe his audacity. I moved to go, and he blocked the door in one smooth motion.

"Don't walk out on me." His voice, now a low growl, sent a delicious shiver down my spine, and the wolf within me responded in full.

I suspected that Raoul didn't want the sharp ears beyond the thin door to catch our exchange. Though, if Arys had caught the challenge in Raoul's voice, he was already on alert.

"Don't try to stop me." I wasn't growling yet, but instinct had blanketed me in warm Were energy. In one blink, my eyes shone with the blazing brilliance of my wolf.

I watched Raoul's black eyes bleed to wolf, and my heart began to pound.

"I'm not going to. Alexa, you've had years to get the closure you need. Instead, you hold it inside and allow it to feed your bitterness and anger." He advanced on me so that we stood just inches apart. "If you need to hash out the past, if you want to tell me exactly why you loathe me so much, then do it, but stop dragging it into every encounter we have."

I stared into his eyes with amazement. I admired him for calling me on what, I have to admit, was the truth, but I was p.i.s.sed that he allowed his voice to rise so those beyond the door might hear. I opened my mouth to speak, but he kept talking.

"I asked for your help because I know you're a true survivor. I thought I could count on you. Despite everything, we are pack. Or at least, we were."

His words rang in my ears, and I recalled my very similar thoughts about Belle upstairs. s.h.i.t.

I hate when Raoul's right. I had agreed to help him, and he'd thrown me out of his house. Yet, here we were, together, pack.

"I was a young, scared girl who counted on you, and you let me down." I was surprised as the whispered words left my lips. I was more surprised when my voice cracked. "You taught me about blood and s.e.x, but I needed more than that."

Unnerved by my words, I understood. Zoey had been better off wherever she'd grown up. Raoul's life had always consisted of fulfilling his many urges and desires. She would have hated him more had she been here, if only she knew that.

His gaze softened, as if he never had a clue how bad it had been for me.

"Alexa," he breathed my name and reached for me, but I stepped away. If he touched me, I might cry, and I refused to give him the satisfaction of my tears.

"Don't," I said, a growl rumbled low in my throat, barely audible. "Don't you dare try to placate me. You didn't care then, and I'll be d.a.m.ned if you care now."