Darlings of Darkness: A Vampire Anthology Part 182

"Of course, when I last saw him, he looked somewhat different. You've added some years on, haven't you Alex?"

"This isn't the time to get into it, Michael."

"She doesn't know, does she? Well, now this is interesting." He moved closer to me, close enough that I could see the tiny black flecks in the chilly blue of his eyes and feel the waves of dark hate flowing from him as he regarded Alex. "Are you here to protect her then, pretty boy? Are you going to save her from me?"

Oh, G.o.d. His voice. Even though my brain screamed out against it, I could feel a beguiling warmth curling through me. I struggled to push it back and ignore what my body was telling me it wanted. I'd never felt a need as great as this. It felt like my very soul was crying out for it. For him. I wanted his arms locked around me, his mouth on me, that delicious voice whispering into my ear. It felt like an inferno was beginning inside me, little flames reaching up inside me and burning my throat. What was this?

Vampire. He is a vampire, Sarah. He is not human, I told myself. It took a staggering effort for me to do it, but I managed to make my feet step away, back toward Alex. Safe, but empty somehow. The fire inside me died down a little, dampened by the cold protection of Alex standing beside me.

"Let's go, Sarah."

I turned back as Alex guided me away. I caught Michael's stare with my own, trying to find something redeemable in him, anything at all. As I sent my silly wish out to the universe, Michael's eyes widened slightly. Something softened him momentarily. I felt a sigh escape me as he turned and disappeared.

Rays of bright penetrating light had swept across my down comforter and into my face. Rubbing my eyes in confusion, I turned to the alarm clock and shot up in bed. It was 8 a.m. I should have been up hours before, helping Nelly get breakfast for the Millers, the big group of ten who had rented the family cabin.

I shrugged into a clean turtleneck sweater and the same worn pair of jeans I had on the day before and rushed down to the kitchen, already hearing the laughter and bickering of children coming from the dining room. When I entered the kitchen, I found Nelly frying a pan of eggs and Alex dumping biscuits into a basket lined with a linen towel. The sausage was already cooked and still steaming on a serving plate on the butcher block.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I demanded, grabbing the egg mixture from the refrigerator to start the French toast. I slammed the door shut and turned to find them both staring at me, perplexed. Then Alex flashed one of his heart-breaking grins and put the biscuit pan on the counter next to the sink.

"We figured you could use a morning sleeping in. We had it covered."

I glared at him half-heartedly, "This isn't your job, Alex."

"I go where I'm needed," he laughed. "Besides, we had some extra help."

"The kids want some hot chocolate, Nelly." My sister, Katie strode into the kitchen with a pot of coffee in her hand and a towel over one arm.

"Katie?" My heart fluttered when I saw her familiar smile across the kitchen. She put down the coffee pot and came over to wrap her arms around me.

"Hey, sis." Her eyes, as warm and brown as our father's had been, studied my face intently. Her curly black hair fell across her shoulders just as it always did. It had taken most of her life to accept the fact that her curls were beautiful and not a burden.

However, it was Katie's warmth and understanding that always stood out. Her ability to reach into me and pull out the thoughts that I would want to remain hidden was uncanny. She had a way of reasoning with me, comforting me, and urging me in the direction of something more positive than where my dark mind tended to dwell .

Knowing her abilities to get inside my head had never been more frightening to me. Protecting her was foremost in my muddled mind. I could not imagine telling her about the contents of our grandfather's journal, much less about our guest in the meadow. But she would insist on it.

She smiled at me winningly, "I think we can trust these two to finish things up here so you and I can catch up on our girl talk. What do you think, Alex?" She flashed him a look of inquiry.

"Leave it to Nelly and me." He agreed, grabbing a stack of plates from the china cabinet. "Of course, if we don't get this food to the Millers in the next few seconds, I'm going to end up eating it all myself. It all looks delicious."

Nelly smacked his hand when he reached for a piece of sausage and waved us out, "We've got it, girls. You two grab some coffee and go catch up."

"Tell me." she said.

We had settled ourselves into a long wicker sofa on the sunny back porch, holding our coffee mugs. Katie sat cross-legged on the floral cushions, her shoes had been dropped quickly under the coffee table before us. In comparison, I felt stiff and reluctant to begin. Katie had always been so much more comfortable in her own body than I was. It was petty for me to feel jealous when things were so screwed up, but I shot her an irritated glance anyway.

"Which part?" I grumbled, wrapping my cold hands more firmly around the hot mug.

She rolled her eyes. "The first part, dork. Dr. Fleming's visit."

"Oh." That heavy feeling of depression sank back into me. "He had some news."

"News about what?"

I took a shaky breath and looked at her, "It's bad, Katie-bug."

When I began to explain what little information I'd learned about our mother, I tried not to notice how her expression faltered. I hated watching the light in her eyes go dull and dark. Then angry.

She slammed a hand down on the coffee table but I was not able to grab my coffee before some it sloshed onto the gla.s.s top.

"What kind of mother does that?" She rose from her seat and began pacing across the porch, seething with the news that she did actually have a mother, but that mother had chosen to leave her children.

"I don't know the reason, Katie. But Dr. Fleming gave me an address, so we have some information to go on. If you want to find out. If you want to talk to her." I really hoped she would not want to go that route.

She stared at me for a moment, as if seeing me for the first time. There was desperation in that familiar face. There was anger, hurt and questions begging to be asked. However, for the first time in her life, Katie used one of my own tactics against emotional trauma. She quite suddenly cut herself out of it.

Facing the screened window, she took several deep breaths and then her shoulders slumped.

"Doesn't matter, does it?" she whispered.

"It might. Alex said she had good reasons for leaving..." I started.

"Alex? What does he have to do with this?" Then she threw her hands up to prevent my answer, bent down to grab her shoes and turned away. "Forget it. I don't want to know. I wish you had never brought this up, Sarah."

She disappeared into the house and I heard her quick steps tapping up the stairs to her room.

Nelly came out with a puzzled look on her face, "What was that all about?"

I leaned over, buried my face in my hands, and mumbled, "I told her about Mom still being alive."

The cushion next to me sank as Nelly settled herself beside me, her familiar girth comforting me as I cursed myself for what I had revealed. She wrapped one heavy arm around me and pulled me close. "Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry."

I lifted my head and met her sad eyes. "Why didn't anyone tell me? Why didn't you?"

She sighed, "You don't know how many times I was tempted to do just that, honey." The lines on her weathered face seemed deeper this morning and it occurred to me that this burden had been weighing Nelly down for years. I tried to imagine being the caretaker of two small girls who had suddenly lost their mother. I had never considered what it might have cost her. Or why she stayed to take care of everything.

"When Selena and your Dad started having problems, I tried to mind my own business." She laced her fingers together on her lap and stared down at them. They were the hands of a workingwoman. Sometimes they would get so dry in the winter; her knuckles would crack and bleed. They were the same hands that wiped away tears, developed calluses by pushing brooms, pounded flour into dough for dinner rolls. She regarded them sadly as she spoke, "She started going into town more often. She started drinking. I guess your Dad was hoping it was a phase she was going through. She paid less attention to things around here. Every day, another new job was given to me to be responsible for."

"What changed?"

She shook her head slowly, "Oh, honey. Your Mom hated living out here. She didn't want the responsibility of the farm. She did love your Dad, but it just wasn't enough."

Pain struck me like a lightning bolt. It was not enough. What about us, her own children? I felt the now-familiar hot and heavy tears begin to fill my eyes, and Nelly pulled me against her with both arms. "I know it's hurtful. It seems impossible to you, honey. But some people just don't bond with their children the way they should. It has nothing to do with you personally." I wanted to push her away. Her betrayal was still a fresh wound to me. However, numbness had begun to push my angry thoughts into the background. I wasn't ready to forgive Nelly, but I knew I wouldn't be mad at her forever.

Katie suddenly flew through the door, a coat draped around her and barked out, "I'm going for a walk."

Then Alex struck out after her with grim purpose darkening his eyes. He glanced at me as he followed Katie out. I hoped he would calm her down. More importantly, he needed to keep her away from the meadow. The idea of my sister encountering Michael made me physically ill.

Nelly and I sat for a moment longer watching them walk away. I wasn't ready to talk more about Mom so eventually I got up and started on some ch.o.r.es. Nelly followed me into the kitchen, keeping a careful silence.

Alex and Katie returned an hour later. I had been helping Nelly clean up the breakfast dishes and we both paused when Alex came through the door. His expression was brooding. I put away the bowl I had been drying and gave him a questioning look.

"Katie's decided to head back to school early. She's packing."

Nelly went to him and laid a hand on his arm, "How's she doing? Any better?"

He shook his head slightly. "She's confused and angry. But with some time, I think she'll be fine."

"I wish she'd stay." I said.

Then I heard her coming down the stairs and went to meet her in the entry. She had her bright blue backpack hanging over one shoulder. Her eyes were red rimmed and bright with tears. There was also an edge to her expression, anger so fiery that I felt the need to take a step back.

"I'll call you when I get back to the dorm." She ground out.

"Katie, please stay and talk to me about this."

Her head shook in denial. "No, Sarah. I need some time."

She pushed past me and left through the front door without a hug or even a sisterly farewell. I watched her wrench open the pa.s.senger side door of her Jeep, throw her backpack in, slam the door, and march to the driver's side. I stayed there at the front door watching as she drove down in the direction of the road.

Maybe I could have done something more. I should have forced her to talk to me, to work this thing out and decide together where to go from here. However, how much could I tell her? She had not asked to see the journal, and I hoped she might have forgotten about it.

The afternoon was waning when I went in search of Alex. The golden light of the setting sun dusted everything with warmth. The tops of the trees, the white trim of the windows on the outside of the house, the roof of the barn across the lane from Alex's cabin.

I found him in the main aisle of the barn, running a currycomb through the mud on Messenger's hindquarters. Settling myself on a tack trunk near Messenger's stall, I gritted my teeth and leaned with my elbows on my knees, staring at the concrete floor.

"You need to tell me everything, Alex."

Messenger swished her tail once and shifted her weight, giving a satisfied sigh as Alex continued to rid her of the dirt caked into her dark coat. He was quiet for a long time and I wondered if he would say anything.

Just when I was ready to give up and leave, he began to speak in a low tone.

"I grew up in Chicago. We moved to San Francisco four days after I turned seventeen." The currycomb continued moving in smooth strokes down the mare's flanks and over her back. "I was angry with my parents for making me leave my friends, my school. Everything."

He put the currycomb back in the grooming bucket and turned to me, "I rebelled. I stayed out past curfew, got into trouble with the law. Anything I could to make them see I was unhappy there. Then I met her."

I studied him curiously and waited.

"She was beautiful. h.e.l.l, more than beautiful. We met outside of a movie theater in LA.." He flashed a hint of a smile. "She was older, obviously experienced. She had me wrapped around her little finger in a matter of days. s.e.x was not something entirely new to me, but she made it something... Magical."

His full lips pursed as he picked up a body brush and began to groom the horse again.

"She wasn't exactly what I thought she was."

"What do you mean?"

His eyes met mine and the sardonic gleam there made me catch my breath.

"She was a vampire."

"Oh..." I cupped my hands around my mouth in surprise.

"Her name was Selena."

Chapter Five.

Rage gripped me like a fist, closing around my heart, and before I realized what I was doing, I had jumped up and shoved Alex as hard as I could.

"You're lying!" I spouted. "I don't know who you really are, or what the h.e.l.l you think you're trying to do, but you're sick. You're telling me that my mother became a vampire, left her family, and then picked you up like some cougar?"

He had not been expecting that kind of outburst and staggered against the wall of one of the horse stalls, shooting me a look of surprised anger.

Messenger sidestepped away from both of us, her eyes wide in panic. Alex straightened and began to soothe her with soft words while rubbing her neck. She started to settle down again under his gentle care and let out a resounding snort before lowering her head.

Alex addressed me without meeting my look, "It's true, Sarah. Your mother is a vampire. That is part of the reason she left. Michael turned her. She begged him to do it."

I had been pushing against this new pain so hard, trying so desperately to hold it back, but I could not do it anymore. A towering wave of betrayal crashed over me. It was black and heavy, weighing me down and crushing me.

I remember stumbling from the barn with tears streaming down my cheeks and I remember the salty taste when a tear slipped past my lips. I remember the sounds of the night creeping over the landscape around me. However, I lost the rest of what happened that evening. I only knew I was drowning and n.o.body could save me.

The night closed in and I let the wave take me. I was on the ground, clutching at blades of dying gra.s.s.

The dream was a shimmery thing hanging over me like a net. Michael was there, murmuring to me softly like a lover.

"Stop this. You had no hand in it. Let go, d.a.m.n you." The emotion in his tone left no doubt it was just a strange dream. Michael was a heartless murderer.

He went on, pleading with me and cursing me in the same breath.

"I've seen you handle some of the worst that fate can dish out, you little fool. Now you're going to let the actions of one woman take you out for good? I expected far more from you, Sarah." His icy look met mine, his arching brows drawn down in frustration. "Get up. Move on. d.a.m.n you! Let go of me! What witchery is this? I must be going mad."

It occurred to me that he could not leave me in this state for some reason. How strange, I thought. Such a powerful entrancing creature. Vampire. I wondered what it would feel like to have his lips on my neck, his throat burning for my blood.

"No. How are you doing this? I can hear you, Sarah. If you think it's a dream, then wake the h.e.l.l up. You've had a panic attack. WAKE UP, G.o.d d.a.m.n IT!"

A tiny giggle escaped my throat. What a funny little dream. Michael was yelling at me. The darkness came folding back over me slowly and I did not fight it.

I heard more voices.

"Sarah? Oh, my G.o.d." Then savagely, "Tell me you didn't touch her, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d." That was Alex's voice. I struggled to open my eyes and tried to sit up but the effort was wasted. I felt so cold. My fingers were numb, and my body was wracked with tremors from both the cold air outside and the strain within.

"I was a perfect gentleman, thank you very much." Michael replied.