Dark Series - Dark Gold Part 18

Alexandria felt the permanent link he had forged between them, and she could feel his rage, black and terrible, seething below the surface. "What I did today, I did to myself," she whispered.

He moved toward her, looming large, towering over her, an invincible figure, powerful beyond imagining. "You betrayed me. You betrayed Joshua. I told you what would happen if you went out into the sun. You pretended to yourself that you would see if I was telling the truth. But you already knew it was the truth. You took a chance on destroying yourself, leaving Joshua to strangers, to an uncertain future without protection."

"You would protect him."

"Without you, my existence is no more. We are linked, in life and death. If you choose death, you are choosing death for both of us."

Her hands were trembling as she swept back her hair. "That can't be."

"You do not wish it to be," he corrected her, and he took possession of her right arm. "But it is so. I do not lie to you, Alexandria. I have allowed you a certain amount of resistance, but only because this is all new to you."

The gel he began smearing over her arm was cool and soothing. "You're saying I don't have a choice. That I've never had a choice," she ventured.

"Your body and mine made the choice for us. Your soul is the other half of mine. My heart is your heart. Our minds reach for the rea.s.surance and intimacy of the other. We are not complete when we are alone. We are two halves of the same whole. That is the truth, Alexandria, whether you like it or not."

She swallowed hard, wanting to press her fingertips to her pounding forehead. "It isn't true. It can't be." She denied it out loud because she didn't want it to be true, because she would not believe in him and his nightmare world.

"Why do you think I can touch your burns as I do without causing you agony? I am blocking the pain for you. This treatment would be torture for you without me."

"It isn't true," she repeated in a small whisper.

"I am angry enough with your stupidity to prove my words, cara. Do not argue with me. My body cries out for yours. Not with a mere human need, but with the need of the Carpathian male for its mate. I burn for you, night and day. My only relief is when I sleep the sleep of my people, unaware.

Do not tempt me to prove my words, because there will be no going back."

She hunched her shoulders, averted her face from him. Aidan could feel hot, seething rage swirling in him, mixing with the urgent demands of his body and the Carpathian male's need to control. He bent closer to her, reckless now, not choosing his words or actions carefully as he so often tried to do. "You are unable to allow a human male to touch you. You feel revulsion, not pleasure, and you know it. I have been in your mind; I have seen your thoughts. You hunger only for me."

The images he reflected back to her were her own. Hot, erotic things she had no real knowledge of.

Things she found humiliating to have even thought of. Her kneeling at his feet, touching him, her mouth moving over him; his body atop hers, commanding hers, taking hers, hot and furiously. He knew, and he was taunting her with her own private fantasies of the two of them together.

"You really are a brutal animal with no thought for anyone but yourself," she whispered, pressing her hands to her burning face. "And I care nothing for you. I feel nothing for you."

His hand caught and spanned her throat, his thumb forcing her chin up so that she met his blazing golden eyes: "I could make you my slave, Alexandria, teach you to please me in far more ways than you envisioned." Deliberately his thumb feathered across her trembling mouth.

Alexandria could feel tears burning in her eyes even as her body burst into flame, into need. Aidan was right. She had no thoughts, no resistance, when he touched her; she was only a body drowning in desire, going up on flames. There was nothing left of her, of who she was or what she stood for. Never had a man been able to control her before. Whatever Aidan Savage had made her, she was no longer Alexandria Houton.

Aidan's mind sought hers, and instantly the anger in him melted away. She was sliding toward shock. Too much had happened too quickly in the last few days for her human mind to a.s.similate.

He cursed his own body, raging for release, causing him to say and do things he would never ordinarily consider. He wanted her with every cell in his body, and just now he had pushed aside her needs for his own. No self-respecting Carpathian male would ever do such a thing. In that moment he realized just how close to turning vampire he really had been. He felt contempt for himself, for his own selfishness and weakness, when she was having such a difficult transition.

"Cara, I am sorry. Please do not be afraid of me, of us." The words were spoken in his most beguiling voice, but they seemed to fall on deaf ears.

Her mind shut down, protected her, spared her from any further ordeal. She turned her face away and slumped onto the bed, curled up in the fetal position. Aidan stood over her, angry with himself, unsure what to do to repair the damage he had caused with his stupidity. He had been so afraid he had lost her in that moment, etched for all time onto his soul, when she had flung open the door and gone willingly into the killing sun.

He could withstand the light, the burning, because he had conditioned himself to do so over time.

Now, after centuries of study, he had nearly unlimited powers. One of them was healing. So he closed his eyes and sent himself out of his own body and into hers, finding the terrible burns so deeply seared into her skin, repairing them from the inside out. He was careful and precise, and when he was finished, he moved through her to once more enter her mind.There he found confusion and terror. A deep fear of not being fully human and a desire to prove that she was. He could find no intent to kill herself. She had simply wanted to prove him a liar, deceiving her into believing she could not reenter her own world. She had wanted it to be so.

He stretched out beside her, gathering her weary body into the protection of his arms. She had reason to be afraid of him. He was demanding things of her she had no conception of, making her feel things she wasn't ready for. The intensity of her s.e.xual feelings alone was disturbing to her, so much so that she wanted to run from him.

He rested his chin on her head and stroked her silky hair. It disturbed him that she had some crazy idea of going to a human doctor to be cured. Anything but stay with him. On some level he was hurt, but mostly he was amused that she would think she could defeat him, outsmart him.

She was so determined. He admired her for that.

"You just need time, piccola. I am sorry for the clumsy way I have handled this situation. My only excuse is my fear for your safety." He knew she could hear him, but she didn't respond. He hadn't really expected her to do so, but he tightened his hold a bit. Sleep now, Alexandria, the healing sleep of our people. Sleep deep. He took no chances, gave her no choice. He wanted her under, away from her own mind, away from the terrible drain of her thoughts and fears.

Chapter Thirteen

Aidan woke with his body raging at him. Not with the compulsion for nourishment, the need for blood that was always with him, but with stark, urgent arousal unlike any he had ever experienced. He groaned aloud. Beside him, Alexandria lay in slumber. She was pale, her hair spilling over both of them, binding them together. He wanted her. He had to have her. If he stayed beside her for one more moment, he would be unable to stop himself from claiming her.

He leapt away from her as if burned, his skin hot, painful, searing. He swore softly. How could he feed her in this condition without the act turning into something erotic and wild? Inside, the beast, always wild and untamed, roared for her. Hungered. Needed. It had no logic, only that heavy, relentless ache growing more merciless every day.

He ran an unsteady hand through his unruly hair. The situation was explosive now. There was no way to supply her with her life's blood without claiming her body. Yet after what had occurred earlier, he knew she needed more time. The beast within was raging, and he could no longer control it. Marie had believed he could. She had faith in him. But she did not know the demands of the Carpathian male, the heat rising between mates. She did not know how close he had come to turning.

He groaned aloud again and turned away from the figure lying so still on his bed. In his lair. He flinched as the word entered his mind. The beast was becoming more dominant. And the only way to control it was to merge with his lifemate, let her gentleness, her light, guide him away from the darkness spreading a stain across his soul.

He cleaned up before he woke her, dressing with care in a soft silk shirt and black trousers, hoping an old-world elegance would enhance his appeal. He secured his long hair at the nape of his neck.

The shirt he left open at the throat, more because he was having trouble breathing than to be s.e.xy.

As he sent his mind to wake her and watched her take her first breath, his body hardened with such an intensity, he found himself swearing again. He could feel sweat trickling down his chest and lower, between his legs. She stretched, her body moving sensually under the quilt. He thought he might burst. Her tongue moistened dry lips, left them glistening and inviting. He closed his eyes against the sight, but he could smell her, hear the rustle of the sheets.

Alexandria sat up slowly, disoriented. She had vivid images of an erotic dream, hands on her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, a mouth pressed to hers, fingers moving in her, then a hard, aggressive body blanketing hers, pinning her down. Her body ached with need, craved his touch. She squirmed, felt the creamy invitation calling, beckoning, tempting him. She opened her eyes-and met Aidan's hot golden stare across the room.

Danger. It was there in his carved features, in the intensity of his eyes. She remained perfectly still, not taking her gaze from the predatory creature watching her. She was afraid even to breathe.

If she moved, if she sighed, he would be on her. She sensed it, knew the erotic dream was his, knew his control was fragile and that he was battling his every instinct.

"Get out of here, cara mia," he whispered hoa.r.s.ely. The velvet roughness of his voice felt like a tongue lapping at her sensitized skin. "Get out while you can." Red flames seemed to light the gold of his eyes, and beads of sweat dotted his forehead. His muscles bulged with the effort to remain stationary.

She wanted to go to him, to soothe him-or to enflame him further, the consequences be d.a.m.ned.

Her body was on fire, a living, breathing flame nearly out of control. It was only her shyness that prevented her from tempting him further. Her shyness and her fear. She rolled off the bed and fled, running as if seven demons were behind her. Running from herself even more than from Aidan.

Behind her Aidan stood as still as a statue. If he moved he was afraid he might shatter with pain, with need. He could not hold out much longer. G.o.d help them both if she did not come to him soon.

Alexandria slowed down once she was in the safety of the tunnel. She could feel Aidan still in her mind, still reaching for her, calling to her. She could taste his kiss, feel him touching her. She closed her eyes and leaned against the rock wall for support. Her legs felt like rubber, refusing to take another step. She wanted him. Not with a sweet, gentle longing, but with a savage, wild need that demanded hot, clawing s.e.x.

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the thoughts she had, the images taunting her. She made her way up the stairs, grateful that Joshua didn't see her. Her shower did nothing to alleviate her hunger, did nothing to wash away the feel of Aidan or the rich, spicy taste of him. The hot water running down her skin, between the swell of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, down her stomach, to her tight blond curls, only served to heighten her sensitivity. She had to fight the urge to call Aidan to her.

She ached for him, needed him, her body all liquid heat and throbbing with desire. She had to call him to her to stop this aching. She needed to feel his mouth on her skin, his hands on her body.

She needed him in her, an urgent, wild mating that would go on forever.

And then she remembered his words. He could make her his slave. He could make her do things she had never even pictured. Well, she was picturing them now. Where did the images come from?

"d.a.m.n you, Aidan. d.a.m.n you for doing this to me." She turned up her face to the spray and shut herself off from him. She heard the echo of his despairing cry, the roar of the wounded animal, the growl of the hunter who had missed his prey.

Without him in her mind to feed her own hunger, the terrible urgency lessened. It did not go away entirely, but real hunger crept in. She was pale and needed nourishment. She needed him. With an unladylike oath, she dressed in jeans and a ribbed top and headed for the sitting room next to her bedroom. It was to become her studio. She found that Marie or Stefan, obviously on Aidan's orders, had already purchased supplies for her. They were top quality, things she had never been able to afford before. Ordinarily she would never accept such a lavish gift, but the artist in her thrilled to the beauty of the tools.

She heard Joshua before he came looking for her. Home from school, he was laughing with Stefan in the solarium, then chatting with Marie in the kitchen over cookies. Alexandria found herself happy and sad at the same time. Joshua needed the company, and the older couple displayed genuine affection for him, but she was sad that her relationship with her brother was changing, that he would no longer rely solely on her.

By the time he came rushing up the stairs, bellowing boisterously for her, she had regained her composure. Joshua flung himself into her arms, and she lifted him, spinning him around in circles until he shrieked happily with dizziness.

"Look at all this stuff!" she cried joyfully, showing off her treasures.

Joshua puffed out his chest. "I helped pick them out. Aidan and I went shopping. I showed him all the things you always picked up and put back. I could tell you wanted them, though. We had fun shopping for you. He said it was to be a big surprise."

She clutched a box of charcoal pencils to her, all at once finding it hard to breathe. "He did, did he? When did you do this?"

Joshua grinned at her. "A few days ago. While you were so sick. He picked out some new clothes, too. Look in your bedroom closet. You should have seen the saleswoman. She was looking at him like-"

"I can imagine," Alexandria broke in dryly. She followed a skipping Joshua back into her bedroom.

"He thought of everything. He said when a woman as beautiful and as good as you got so sick, a man should do whatever he could to make things better for you." Joshua threw open the double closet doors she had never touched, using only the bureau for her jeans and tops.In her entire life Alexandria had never owned enough clothes to fill a closet of this size, yet it was jammed with dresses, coats, skirts, slacks, and blouses. She bit her lower lip and touched a long black evening gown. It was by a top designer. She dropped her hand to her side. "Why did he do this?" she whispered aloud to Joshua, repeating in her head, Why did you do this?

It is only money, cara. I have nothing else to use to pay for my sins. He sounded alone and lost, ragged.

She unexpectedly felt tears in her eyes. Everything in her wanted to run to him, comfort him, but his words from that morning continued to echo in her head, and she closed her mind firmly to his tricks. Become his slave. It would never happen.

"Ah, sis, don't cry like a baby," Joshua admonished. "Aidan did it 'cuz he wanted to. You should see all the neat toys he bought me. You know, I asked Marie and Stefan about the puppy-how much work they thought it would be."

"Persistent little devil, aren't you?" She closed the closet doors firmly on the new clothes, determined never to wear them.

"Aidan says persistence pays," Joshua quoted happily.

Alexandria took a deep breath. "He should know." On second thought, she was going to wear those dresses. Every last one of them. Wear them when she worked with Thomas Ivan. When she went out with Thomas Ivan. When she fell completely and madly in love with Thomas Ivan.

For a moment she felt Aidan stirring in her mind, the kind of move a large jungle cat might make while stalking its prey-a mere ripple, and then it was gone, as if it had never been. Had she imagined it?

"Quit thinking about him!" she snapped at herself, angry that her mind would not stay away from him.

Joshua looked up at her, wide-eyed. "About who? The puppy? Why? Did you already find one? Is it a boy dog?"

"There's definitely a boy hound dog somewhere around here," she replied grimly. Then, relenting, she ruffled Joshua's curls. "I'm kidding, Josh. And, no, I haven't found a puppy yet. I haven't even made up my mind yet. I want us to be sure we're happy here before we make such a permanent decision."

"I'm happy here," Joshua said instantly, decisively.

She hugged him. "I'm glad you're happy, little buddy, but I'm not certain I am. It's much more difficult for adults to adjust to living together than it is for kids."

"But Marie and Stefan are so great, Alex, and Aidan is the best. He helps me with my homework.

We talk all the time. He's cool. And he said-"

"I don't want to hear what he said just now, okay? I have work to do, honey, remember? We have to have money to eat."

"But Aidan has lots of money, and he said you wouldn't have to work if you didn't want to."

She let her breath out slowly, holding on to her temper. She was sick of hearing what Aidan had to say. She was sick of his being in her mind, taking over her every waking moment. "I like to work, Josh. Now find something to do quietly or scoot."

He made a face but settled down quickly with her old set of colored pens and a sketch pad. They settled into the familiar routine easily. Occasionally she asked his opinion on an idea, and sometimes he showed her his drawings. Alexandria felt they were very good for a six-year-old. She corrected a line here and there when he asked her to, but mostly she encouraged him to do it his way. For a short time, she felt as if she and her world were normal again.

But Aidan was always present. She could feel her mind tuning to his, reaching out to find him. Her ears listened for the sound of his beautiful voice. She found herself staring blankly at the paper before her, and twice she actually drew his likeness. Both times she tore it up quickly before Joshua could spot her obsession and tease her about it.

She tried not to be aware of Joshua's heartbeat, of the ebb and flow of the blood running in his veins. She pretended she didn't notice the way Marie's pulse fascinated her when the housekeeper called Joshua to dinner. She ignored the remembered taste in her mouth, the feel of Aidan beneath her lips, the way her body writhed against his, craved his. She groaned and tried to turn away from yet another picture she had drawn of him. His mouth was set in that sensual, inviting line that seemed to mock her, lure her. Pure temptation.

She touched a fingertip to that mouth she had drawn so perfectly. "I won't let you do this to me,"

she whispered softly. She wanted him so badly. She needed him to comfort her, to make this world of madness and insanity make sense. She needed him to take away the gnawing, frightening hunger that kept her from fully enjoying Joshua's company. Most of all she needed him to merge his body with hers, to feel his mouth and his hands taking away the terrible burning, the emptiness. She needed his heart beating the same rhythm as hers, his mind invading hers, the ultimate intimacy, locking them together, sharing every wild fantasy as his body took possession of hers.

She went through all the normal motions that evening, helping Joshua with his homework, pretending to enjoy a show on television. They argued about the value of a wide-screen TV. Stefan took Joshua's side, saying it was a necessity for old eyes. Marie sided with Alexandria that it was the ultimate in conspicuous consumption. But the blood rushing through all their veins was like a symphony, drowning out the sounds of the program and making Alexandria afraid for them. She tried to enjoy getting Joshua ready for bed, reading to him, having a short pillow fight, tucking him in. She had always loved their time together at night. Joshua was always so clean and sweet. But the loud beating of his heart interfered with her enjoyment now, and she felt trapped in the middle of a nightmare.

Alexandria dressed with care for her date with Thomas Ivan that night. But as the dress slid over her skin, she felt the brush of hot velvet. Her hands shook as she put up her hair. She had not seen Aidan once since she had fled him earlier. She felt him, always there, close, but he had taken care to stay out of her sight. Instead of being grateful, though, she was depressed. Maybe it didn't matter that she was going out with another man. Maybe he didn't care. And why should it? She didn't want him to care. She wanted to find a human man, one she was attracted to. One she wanted to make love with. Not something obsessive and wild, but something gentle and loving. A human, normal man.

She inspected her nails. Formerly frustratingly stubby, they were now long and beautiful, well manicured, almost as if she'd had them professionally done. Even her hair seemed thicker, more luxurious, her eyelashes long and thick. Her skin, however, was pale, nearly translucent.

She sighed at her image in the mirror. She looked the same but different. More... She didn't exactly know what. Just more. The dress clung like a second skin, emphasizing her full b.r.e.a.s.t.s and tiny waist. It could have been designed just for her. She ran a hand down the soft material covering her thigh. Her heart slammed against her throat when she looked up to find Aidan's golden eyes watching her in the mirror. He stood behind her, his tall, powerfully built frame, his blond good looks complementing her own. She could taste him in her mouth. They made an erotic picture in the mirror, Aidan tall and heavily muscled, with his brilliant, hungry eyes, Alexandria slender and pet.i.te and pale.

"You look beautiful, Alexandria," he said softly.His voice was compelling, whispering over her skin with the same heat as the velvet dress. She couldn't read his expression, only feel the molten gold of his gaze.

"I-I won't be out late," she stammered like a wayward teenager. And then she would have given anything to take the words back. Aidan didn't smile, didn't change expression.

She felt a shiver go down her spine. All at once her defiance seemed stupid, like baiting a tiger.

That unblinking stare. Was he going to let her go? Only moments earlier she had been somewhat depressed that he would. Now she wanted nothing more than to run for her life, far away from him.

He shook his head slowly. "Dio, Alexandria. You persist in thinking me a monster. Take great care, piccola, that you do not create one." He left the room as silently as he had entered.

She trembled at the threat. She touched her mouth. He had been staring at it. Her lips tingled so, she swore she could feel the brush of his mouth against hers. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of him, then cursed that he could so easily control her. She was human. Human! And she was determined to stay that way.

Alexandria lifted her chin. She would not be swayed by his s.e.x appeal, and she would not be intimidated by his threats. She slipped on her shoes and glided regally down the stairs.

Thomas had arrived precisely on time and was waiting for her in the living room, grateful that Aidan Savage had chosen not to inflict his presence on him. His breath caught in his throat as Alexandria entered. She seemed to be more beautiful each time he saw her. She amazed him, haunted him, wrapped him up until he could think of nothing but her. His work was suffering, as a result. He was daydreaming about her when he was supposed to be completing the story line for his latest video game. He even dreamed of her at night, hot, erotic dreams he had every intention of making come true.

"Thomas, this was such a good idea." She greeted him in a voice that seemed to penetrate right to his heart and stir a response somewhat lower in his body as well.

Then he felt the weight of those d.a.m.ned golden eyes on him. Relentless. Merciless. They saw his reaction and d.a.m.ned him for it. Aidan Savage lounged with deceptive laziness in the doorway, one hip resting against the wall, his arms across his chest. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to.

His mere presence struck terror into Thomas's soul. Thomas took Alexandria's cape and enveloped her in it, breathing in her perfume. "You look extraordinary, Alexandria. No one would ever know you'd been ill."

Aidan did stir then, a mere rippling of muscles suggestive of a lethal predator. "Nevertheless, she has been extremely ill, Ivan. I trust you will see to it that she is well cared for and returned home early."