Dark Nights Part 23

He shook his head. "No, but more than likely they are among the species still existing that are capable of shifting shape, and that includes the undead."

Joie shoved a hand through her hair, drawing his attention to the cap of thick, dark strands. She looked a little disheveled, her large gray eyes still sleepy, her skin smooth, looking petal soft, her hair tousled. Need slammed into him before he could stop it, ran unchecked through his veins, the slow heat turning to flames.

"Tell me about India. I haven't been there," Joie admitted, oblivious to his growing hunger.

Traian drank her in. The sight of her, the scent of her brought him a peace he'd never known. He had risen, appreciating after centuries the richness of his homeland's soil. He saw beauty in the land around him as if seeing with new eyes-and maybe he was. Colors were vivid, even scents seemed more pleasing. She was in the world. Joie.

"Tell me," she repeated. "It's important to me to know what your life has been and the influences on you. You see my family. But tell me of the early days in India."

He was pleased she wanted to learn about him, but he had other much more pleasing ways to pa.s.s the time before the evening's demands would be on them. He swallowed a small sigh and indulged her.

"India was forest and jungle when I first arrived there. I felt at home very quickly in that environment. I found myself spending quite a bit of time with elephants. Over time my emotions and memories faded, more so with each hunt and kill of the undead and for some reason, when I stayed around the elephants, I could tap into them. For many centuries they were content and peaceful, teaching me an acceptance of life, of the ways of the land shaping the future. They do not fight what they cannot control. Eventually many were harnessed into the service of man, and still, they lived their lives as patiently and as well as they could. Buddhism was very influential and I couldn't help, at times, to compare the teachings, the quiet acceptance of life, the living in the moment, with the way the elephants lived their lives."

He spread his hands out. "I have managed to shift into every animal I have come across and fooled the others of the species into believing I belonged, but not the elephants. They accepted my presence among them and as time went on, I believe they looked forward to my company, but they always knew I was not a true elephant. There is something very special about them."

Joie frowned. "Traian, you've been all over the world and had experiences, watched the world change century after century. I have such a different background. How can someone like me hope to keep a man like you from being bored after a few days or weeks in my company?"

"Is that what worries you?" His voice was tender.

"Among a million other things," she admitted. "Seriously, how could you possibly be happy with someone who has such little experience compared to you living centuries and seeing the world take shape? You've been here when there was barely a population and have lived through wars and plagues and things I can't even imagine."

Joie pushed strands of hair behind her ear and regarded him thoughtfully. "I was raised to be very independent. I think for myself and I'm a woman of action. Compared to the knowledge you have, I'm a child. Being with you, as tempting as it is to throw myself into your arms and just take whatever you're offering to me, I'm afraid eventually I would lose who I am. I like making my own decisions, it's who I am. I need to climb cliffs and find caves no one's been in. I find satisfaction in my job."

She thought herself safe sitting there on the bed, her body covered up by the man's shirt that only managed to make her look s.e.xier than ever. He shook his head. "I cannot believe you are worried you will lose yourself when you are with me. Joie, I want you the way you are, not changed into something else. You are a very intelligent woman. You are a warrior and I respect that, and your need for action. I also know that when you are working with anyone, whether you are climbing or going deep into a cave or protecting someone, if another person has more knowledge than you, your ego would never get into the way. You would listen. I trust you implicitly to do that."

She pressed her lips together tightly.

"Do you think I will not listen to you? I have no knowledge of the way of families. Or friends. Or even the joys of using one's skills in the way you climb a cliff. I want to learn all of those things. I will rely heavily on your expertise so that I fit smoothly into your world. I might know the ways of the vampire and how to shift, I might have seen history, but the things that are important to life-a wife, a child, family-those things I have no knowledge of. I hear your laughter, feel the closeness of your brother and sister and I want to feel that with them as well. I want Jubal to be my brother and Gabrielle to be my sister. I would like for your parents to think of me as a son. Only you can give me those things. Only you can teach me the right way to be part of something I have never had the chance to experience."

Her eyelashes fanned her high cheekbones. Her tongue darted out and touched her lower lip. His heart shifted in his body. She had all the power and didn't even realize it, believing he would grow bored with her.

"I observed history, I didn't feel it. I saw the foreign lands and recognized they could be beautiful, but I saw them in shades of gray, without emotion, without color or feeling. I have facts at my disposal, millions of them, and I know war, but little else. I need you, Joie."

Joie swallowed hard. He was breaking her heart. The stark, raw admission was brutally honest. She could feel his need and hunger beating at her. She had chosen service as her profession because it was inherent in her character to respond to the need of others, to protect them from harm. This man who seemed so completely invincible was exposing his deepest vulnerability to her.

More than that, she felt as if her entire life she'd been apart from others, standing to one side and not quite fitting in. With Traian, a being far removed from her understanding, another species, in his company, she felt as if she belonged. If she did this, if she stepped off the cliff and let herself fall with him, she knew she'd go all the way, heart and soul. There would be no turning back for her. He would be part of her, inside so deep she would never be able to get him out, even if he walked away from her.

She took a breath, her gaze moving over his face. Wonder. Magic. The combination was stamped into every angle and plane, the set of his shoulders and the defined muscle of his chest. It wasn't just his physical beauty, the sheer athleticism of him, the power he exuded; the draw was in the single-minded focus he turned on her when he looked at her-as if she was the most beautiful, intriguing woman in the world. The only woman. And he needed her desperately.

He just sat across from her looking at her. Waiting. She moistened her lips. She had to get some distance to get some perspective. "I need to take a shower."

"You do not have to. I can make you feel refreshed."

Joie hastily shook her head. "I enjoy my showers. I like the feel of the water on my skin."

"Is that an invitation?"

Was it? Had she chosen a shower because the thought of him naked was firmly entrenched in her mind? She didn't know, but the erotic images playing through her mind faintly shocked her.

Joie stared at him, at the hard angles and planes of his face. At his dark, fathomless eyes. If the attraction between them was merely physical, Joie would have thrown him on the bed and ripped his clothes off right there. But he stirred unfamiliar feelings in her-deep and frightening feelings for a woman in charge of her own destiny. She was terribly susceptible and the plunge was going to be very long, the fall very hard, but it was beginning to look as if she wouldn't be able to break his mesmerizing spell on her. She was certain she should try a little harder but ...

With indecision written so clearly on Joie's face, Traian felt as if his world was balanced on the point of a needle. He was afraid to move. Afraid to speak. He knew their joining was inevitable. He would have her. She was his. She belonged to him. But he still wanted it to be her decision. He wanted her to want him in the same way he wanted her.

"It's a small shower stall," she said in low, hesitant tone, still giving herself room to run.

"I have never taken a shower. I have never needed to, nor would I have been able to enjoy the sensation of water on my skin. I would very much like to do so with you."

She put both trembling hands behind her back and he knew that she was afraid of the next step, but she took it because she was nothing if not courageous. She lifted her chin and smiled at him in invitation.

He didn't wait for her to come to him; he took the few steps separating them and swept her up into his arms, cradling her close to his chest.

Joie smiled up at him. "This is becoming a habit."

"I like keeping you close to me," he admitted. He carried her through to the small bathroom and set her on her feet.

His hands dropped to the b.u.t.tons of her shirt, his gaze holding hers captive. She moistened her lips and her heart sped up. He smiled at her in rea.s.surance.

"You are very safe with me, Joie. Just breathe."

He slipped each b.u.t.ton out of the tiny hole, allowing her shirt to open all the way before he glanced down at the treasure he'd so carefully unwrapped. His breath caught in his throat. "You are so beautiful, Joie." His hand skimmed down from her breast to her belly, down further to strip the panties from her.

He had no idea he would feel like this, emotion welling up so deep and strong, the intensity shaking him. It took a moment to remove his own clothes and step into the confines of the shower with her.

Steam fogged the clear gla.s.s of the shower door, and rose up to curl around the two bodies standing beneath the spray of hot water. Joie allowed the water to pour over her, drenching her hair and skin, washing the sleep from her body. The shower stall was small, forcing her into close contact with Traian. She thought she was completely prepared for the sight of his very masculine body, but found she could barely breathe. He was all defined muscle, his chest wide, his hips narrow. She dared not look below his waist. The man had no modesty when it came to his desires. And he desired her.

"Are you going to keep scooting back every time I get close to you?"

There was a hint of amus.e.m.e.nt in his voice. His tone was like velvet, sliding over her exposed skin, setting every nerve ending on alert.

Her mouth went dry. "It's the only safe thing to do. Before I actually met you, I thought about having you all to myself, alone and naked and ..." She trailed off a little desperately. The erotic fantasies were wonderful when he wasn't standing in front of her, larger than life and still nearly a stranger. "Now I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do with you."

"I distinctly remember you telling me you had lovers lined up," he said, his hands framing her face, his thumb tilting her chin so that her gaze met his. "What were you planning to do with all of them?"

There was a little bite to his voice and his white teeth came together with a definite snap.

Joie tried not to let the sudden smile blossoming inside her show on her face. "You weren't real. I could say anything." It was impossible to look away from the dark intensity of his eyes, the hunger there. His emotions were as naked as his body. "I keep thinking this is happening too fast. I don't really know you. How did you end up in my room? And how did I end up standing naked in the shower with you? I'm a private person, and not very trusting, yet here you are."

It was all he could do not to kiss her. Traian knew he could easily sweep aside her every objection. The attraction between them was mutual. Electric. All-consuming. She would respond to him with the same fierce need he had for her if he kissed her, but she needed to come to terms with her decision.

"Joie." He whispered her name, an ache in his voice. "If you want to talk about this, I suggest we get out of the shower and put the width of the room between us. We have been in each other's minds for weeks. You know me. You know more about me than most people could learn in a lifetime. You know my character and what I stand for. And you know this is no pa.s.sing fling. This is forever."

"Forever." She tasted the word. "That's a long time, Traian."

The water poured over her body and steam encircled them as she leaned into him so that the tips of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s pressed against his chest. She felt him hard and thick and heavy with a man's need, a temptation and a pleading.

"Forever is quite tedious and endless without you. With you, forever is gone in moments."

"You're asking me to make a decision, the enormity of which I can't possibly comprehend. I love my family, Traian. I really love them and would never be happy without them. I don't really know what you're asking of me, but I think it's far more than I've comprehended."