Dare You Part 18

Ruby started driving me nuts at the cafe, then, when she turned up at the tram stop, tops and hair changed, and couldn't see the funny side of what we had done, I lost it. Sure, what we did was kind of risky, but it was hilarious. If only I'd seen the look on that stuck-up waiter's face when he realised we'd done a runner.

Anyway, I didn't mean to call her a pain, but that's what she was. I tried to feel bad when she stormed off, but to be honest, Khaden and I have more fun without her. The whole way home we talked about bands, Gossip Girl (okay, so I talked about that and Khaden listened), and if thick shakes were better than milkshakes. There was no complaining or b.i.t.c.hing, just talking and laughing. It was easy, the way it used to be with the three of us.

Khaden reckons we have to tell Ruby about us, but I'm not so sure. She already thinks we're leaving her out-imagine how she'll react when she finds out that Khade and I are more than friends now.

And how am I supposed to tell her, when just looking at her makes me mad?

Grrrr. It's so confusing.

Text Message-Sas to Khaden Sas: Hey, thanks for the ring. I a it Khaden: Want to hang out 2morrow?

Sas: Sure. Where?

Khaden: Supposed to be hot. Beach?

Sas: h.e.l.l, yeah! My place at 9.30 Khaden: Don't u sleep?

Sas: lol. Hey-do we ask Ruby?

Khaden: Ummm ... make it just us Sas: Probably best. Running out of credit. C u 2morrow x Khaden: K How do I capture a perfect day? Sure, I took photos of Khaden and me sunbaking, eating fish and chips for lunch, and of the seagull poo that landed on Khade's calf that made me laugh 'til my stomach hurt. But how do I keep hold of the feeling? Not just the chill of the water against my hot toes or the softness of Khade's skin, but the bubble of complete happiness surrounding me, us.

Maybe sticking photos, the fish and chip docket, the seagull feather and a crispy strip of seaweed into my journal will do. That way all I have to do is open my journal and everything will flood back.

IM Chat Ruby: Hey! Hot enough today?

Sas: At least you have air con!

Ruby: Yeah-true. So what did u get up to?

Sas: Nothing really. Just chilled Ruby: I cleaned my room. Had to! Guess what I found? The flashing ring Sas: Heart-shaped one?

Ruby: Yep! Still flashes. What colour was yours?

Sas: Purple. Don't know what happened to it Ruby: Mine's red. How much fun was that trip to Luna Park?

Sas: Khaden screaming on the big dipper! Lol Ruby: Fairy floss fight! Sticky hair Sas: Good times!

Ruby: We should go back. Soon Sas: Hey, should be hot again tomorrow. Pool?

Ruby: Sounds good Sas: K & I will come around 2morrow @ 11 Ruby: K Sas: Hey, gotta go. Mum's home Ruby: C u! x Khaden Khaden hummed a Bowie song he couldn't name as he turned into his driveway. He pulled the junk mail from the letterbox and a cream envelope fell to the ground. He stared at the neat, curled writing- Mr Khaden Elliot.

Maybe he should have read the first letter or written back, told her to leave him alone. He s.n.a.t.c.hed up the envelope and stalked inside, the Bowie song and thoughts of his day at the beach with Sas crushed by a cream envelope.

After dumping the junk mail in the bin, he took the letter to his bedroom. He flipped it over.

Anika Moloney, c/o Armidale Post Office, Armidale.

Armidale was in New South Wales, wasn't it? Khaden shuddered. She was closer.

He turned the envelope over and over, thinking of nothing, yet everything. He slipped his finger under the flap and tore the envelope open.

One page. Tight black writing.

He slumped onto his bed and read, his heart hammering.

Dear Khaden, I've tried to write this letter so many times, but I haven't been able to make it sound right. I thought I had nailed it last time, but I haven't heard from you, so I guess I didn't.

Khaden, I know there are no words that can explain or excuse what I did, but believe me, at the time I truly thought I was doing the best thing for you and Taj.

Mike was so much better with you two, especially you. He was calm, loving and just knew what to do. I didn't. I felt like I was drowning.

But believe me when I say, I loved you, will always love you, with every part of my being.

I left to protect you and to find me. Maybe you have a bit of an idea of what it was like to grow up the ebony in a family of ivory. But at least you can see yourself in Mike. There was nothing of me in my parents. How could there be? And worse, I was never allowed to ask about my birth family or the country where I was born. Do you know what that does to you? Never fitting in? Not knowing? Being the dark haired and skinned one in a family of pale red-heads?

Khaden, I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me, I just need you to understand. I know I've blown my chance at being a proper mum, but I'd like us to know each other.

Could we meet somewhere? In the city maybe? I understand if you don't want to. Taj made it clear he didn't want anything to do with me. He's very like Mike, isn't he?

Please think about it. I'll be in Canberra until Christmas. You can write to me at the Deakin Post Office. Send me your mobile phone number and I'll call.

I'm looking forward to seeing you, Khaden.

Love and peace Mum x Khaden lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. She'd been in contact with Taj, and Taj hadn't told him.

A car door slammed.

Khaden slipped the letter beneath his pillow and reached for his guitar.

Ruby In the family room I sat on the sofa, stalked to the kitchen and back to the sofa, turned on the PlayStation, turned it off, sat on the sofa again, checked my watch for the seventh time in thirty seconds, and picked up the novel I'd brought down from my bedroom.

Mojo's bark from her kennel on the decking changed into an excited yap.

I took a slow breath, curled my legs under me and tried to look like I was engrossed in the book. I didn't look up until there was a tap on the gla.s.s. Khaden smiled. Sas was patting Mojo. I waved them inside.

*It's cool in here,' said Khaden, dumping his towel on the bench. *It's so hot already.'

I uncurled my legs and placed the book on the coffee table. *It's supposed to be hotter than yesterday.'

Sas stood by the back door fiddling with the fringe on her towel. *Wasn't too hot at the beach, was it Khaden?'

*Nah, the breeze kept it cool.' He flopped into Dad's chair.

My skin tightened. They'd been to the beach without me. Why hadn't Sas mentioned it last night when we were texting? *Was it packed?' I asked, trying not to sound annoyed.

Sas shrugged. *Didn't notice.'

Khaden cleared his throat.

Sas sighed. *Ruby, last week ... I didn't mean what I said...'

I knew she was waiting for me to jump in, to say it was okay, but I'd promised myself I'd be strong, not a *pain'. I clamped my jaw tight. The tension was crushing.

*It's just there's this stuff happening at home and...'

*What stuff?'

Sas shot me a look that was hard to read. *Personal stuff.'

Khaden shifted positions.

*With ... look, it's complicated.'

Her face was sad, no tortured. I fought the urge to hug her, like I would have a couple of months ago.

She didn't look up from her towel. *I'm trying to say I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it out on you.'

I could feel Khaden's stare and knew what he wanted, but it stuck in my throat. *So are we going to the pool?' I said, standing.

*Sure,' said Khaden, his voice bright against the tension.

As I grabbed my bag and hat from the bench, my determination to be cool crumbled like Mum's biscuits. *Hey, did I tell you Harrison was here when I came back that day?'

*Oh no,' said Sas, sounding more like herself. *What did you say?'

*That I'd been to buy tampons.'

Sas's laugh was deep as Khaden grimaced.

I shrugged. *Well, it was the first thing I thought of.'

*Did he believe it?' Sas led the way out the back door.

*Yeah, but Dad still did his full-on "we trust you" speech, then came home three times the next day, first because he'd "forgotten" his memory stick, then because he needed some file, and the last time, a phone number.' I pulled a face. *Like he trusts me.'

Khaden laughed. *Can't blame him.'

*What do you mean?'

*Well, aren't you still grounded?'

*Yeah, but still...' I pulled the gate shut.

*I'm with Ruby, Khaden. I mean why go on about it, if you clearly don't trust the person,' said Sas. *Parents make no sense.'

Khaden, walking between us, placed his arms around our shoulders. *So everything's back to normal then?'

*What's normal?' asked Sas, which made me laugh.

While we walked, Khaden raved about this guitar he wanted for Christmas. The thing had about ten names. After hearing about it for two years, it wasn't hard to remember a few of them. Gisbon, Les, Paul, Mick and Jones.

*Khaden, give up. Where's your dad going to find the money for that?' I asked.

I could feel the change in Khaden's stride.

My shoulders slumped. *Hey, I didn't mean ... it's just my parents would never spend about eight grand on me for Christmas.'

*Costs nothing to dream, Ruby,' snapped Sas.

n.o.body spoke for the rest of the block.

*Traffic's heavy,' I said, when we reached the main road. I cringed at how lame it sounded. *Reckon I can make it across without stopping?' I asked, trying to claw back the calm I'd smashed.

Sas stepped onto the gutter. *Bet you go before me.'

My heart somersaulted. *You're on.'

*You'll both go before me,' said Khaden, watching the traffic.

*Are we stopping on the tram tracks, or going all the way?' asked Sas.

I didn't take my eyes off the road. *All the way.'

Khaden stepped back from the gutter. *No way, Ruby-three lanes is enough. We stop on the tram tracks.'

Sas and I tensed again. A gap opened between a van and bus, but we didn't run. The lights changed from green to red and the traffic thinned.

*Right,' said Khaden. *This is stupid. We run when I say so, otherwise, we'll be here all day.'

Sas nodded, her face set like an athlete waiting for the starter's pistol.

*Okay.'

The lights changed and the traffic surged over the hill like stampeding elephants.

*Now!' bellowed Khaden.

I ran, eyes focused on the tram tracks. Horns blared and a driver yelled. I skidded to a halt between the tracks. Sas b.u.mped into me.

*I didn't think you'd do it,' she said, laughing.

I wiggled my eyebrows and nodded at the other side of the road. *Rest of the way?'

*Hey, Ruby, did you shut your back gate?' asked Khaden.

*Yeah, why?'

*That dog looks like Mojo,' said Sas, pointing back to my street.