Dare To Love: Dare To Desire Part 20

Alex headed out to his car and started the engine, needing the air conditioning so he could think more clearly. Where would Madison go if she were upset? Right now, she was feeling abandoned by him, let down by the court, and rejected by her foster brother.

He called Riley only to find out she hadn't heard from her at all. "She lost the hearing. I'm going to check her place. If you hear from her in between, call me."

He disconnected the call.

He arrived at her apartment to find her car wasn't in its spot and she wasn't home. Instead of leaving, he settled in to wait.

Madison drove aimlessly, still in disbelief over the ruling. She'd always believed Franny's wishes would be upheld. That the judge had decided blood was thicker really hurt. Doing her best no longer felt like it was enough.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed. A quick glance confirmed it was Alex. But she wasn't ready to talk to him. She didn't know what she wanted to say. She also didn't want to go home to her empty apartment and dwell on the last twenty-four hours.

She headed out of Miami and drove toward the suburbs, her destination not clear until she turned onto an old residential street, realizing she'd driven to the neighborhood where she'd lived with her parents. The houses were as rundown as she remembered from her young mind. Overgrown gra.s.s and weeds covered most of the lawns. Few were green, and sadly, most had turned brown from neglect and lack of care.

She stopped in front of the house where she'd grown up, trying to remember any good memories before her mother had left and her father had abandoned her, but none came. Before melancholy could overwhelm her completely, she put her car in drive.

A little while later, she'd driven past one or two other foster homes, skipping Franny's in favor of visiting the older woman in person. If Eric followed through on his threat to get a restraining order, this might be the last time she could see her. Although Jonathan a.s.sured her he wouldn't win, she was past believing in anyone or anything.

And wasn't that pathetic, she thought. Ignoring the voice in her head asking if that was how she really wanted to live the rest of her life, doubting and skeptical, she walked into the nursing home, grateful when n.o.body stopped her on the way to Franny's room.

She knocked and was heartened by the loud come in she received in response.

"Franny?" Madison asked, pushing the door open.

"Gracie!" Franny said, excitement in her voice. Madison's stomach plummeted along with her hopes.

Madison walked over and kissed the older woman's cheek.

"You look wonderful today."

The nurses here took good care of her. Madison made certain to stop by at unexpected times and days, to make sure nothing she saw was for a visitor's benefit.

"Thanks. So do you." Franny giggled a bit, making Madison think she was in an earlier age.

"I took a walk in the garden today. I was hoping that good-looking man, Daniel, would come by."

Madison's heart clenched. "Did he?"

Franny shook her head. "Not today, so I played cards with some friends after lunch."

"A good day then?"

"So far."

Madison smiled because, in Franny's mind, that's all that counted. And maybe that should count for Madison too. Franny wasn't unhappy now.

"What about you? Where's that handsome man you've been telling me about? Aren't you going to bring him to visit?"

Madison decided to play along as if she were Gracie, answering with her own life's truths.

"Last time I brought him, you were asleep. I'll try to bring him by again, but he's interviewing for a new job, and I'm not sure if that'll take him out of town or not."

Franny frowned. "You sound sad about that."

"Do I?" Madison sighed. "I'm a little torn about it." Feeling a bit weird since Franny didn't really comprehend, Madison still explained what her history really had been with Alex and brought her up to date with the situation now.

Franny patted the edge of the bed, and Madison settled in beside her. "Madison, honey, do you love him?"

Madison's gaze swung to Franny's. She was here. And this might be the last chance she ever had to talk to her. She swallowed hard, nodding. "I tried really hard not to love him, but I do."

"You can't keep running from love just because you're afraid of being left behind, right?"

Madison shook her head. "Wow, when you have a good day, you really go for the jugular."

"I have to say what's important when I can."

"Yeah." She understood, and the lump formed again in her throat. The doctor had said to cherish these precious moments.

"Look, we both know that by the time you came to us, you'd been in and out of so many homes, you didn't want to count on anyone."

Madison looked down at her lap rather than into her foster mom's bright green eyes.

"It took me a year to win you over and get you to believe I wasn't going to turn my back on you. Ever."

Tears sprang to Madison's eyes because, with this d.a.m.ned disease, that's exactly what she felt like Franny was doing to her. The rational part of Madison knew the memory lapses weren't within Franny's control, but the little girl in her felt abandoned all over again.

"I know, honey. I know," Franny said, obviously reading her mind. "But I will always love you, even if I can't say it or if I don't recognize you."

Madison managed a nod. Then, because she owed it to her, she told Franny the rest of the truth. "Eric took me to court over your power of attorney and health care proxy. I hired the best attorney I could, but the judge ruled in his favor. He's going to sell the house so they can build condominiums. And he's going to try to keep me from seeing you."

Franny blew out a long breath. "He's got a mean streak. You can't let him stop you from seeing your man, Gracie. You know that, right?"

And just like that, it was over. Madison teared up all over again.

"I know." She managed to pull herself together and decided to say everything she would have said to a lucid Franny. "I would do it all again to help you the way you helped me. I did everything I could for you."

Franny clasped her hand and began to hum a tune Madison didn't recognize. "Remember that song? We'd sing it when I was waiting for Daniel and you were waiting for your man. Are you waiting for him now?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll go see where he is," Madison said.

"That's a good idea."

Madison looked at Franny. "Thank you for everything. But most of all, thank you for being the only real mother I ever had," she said, pulling the frail woman into a long hug.

"That's my girl," she thought she heard Franny whisper.

Or maybe she'd imagined it. It didn't matter.

She was Franny's girl, Madison thought. From the moment the couple had taken her in, they'd treated her like their own daughter. It didn't matter what Eric thought or what the court said. She was Franny's daughter of the heart. And that was the only thing that mattered.

Madison shook her head. "I don't know if he's my man."

But she did. In her heart, where it counted, Alex was hers. Madison decided it was time to go home and deal with her real life. The one that existed in this moment.

And if that meant she had to live with whatever career choices made him happy, wasn't that a small price to pay? She didn't have to like it, but she did have to live with it. Up till now, he'd done all the changing and giving. It was her turn.

Alex was getting good and worked up, pacing Madison's apartment and glaring out the window. By the time her car pulled into her a.s.signed parking spot, he was out of his mind worried, not knowing where she'd gone after getting the bad news, and she hadn't returned his texts or his calls.

When she put the key in the lock and walked in, he was waiting in the living room, back to the window, arms folded over his chest. "Well, it's about d.a.m.ned time."

"Excuse me?" She blinked, her eyes puffy and red from crying. The sight hurt, but he was still furious she'd left him hanging without a word.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

She shook her head. "I thought you were calling and texting from New York, not Florida. How would I know you were home? And if anyone was left hanging, it was me. Where the h.e.l.l were you for the last twenty-four hours? You didn't pick up the phone and text or call!" She tossed her keys and purse onto the table and folded her arms across her chest, mimicking his pose ... and calling him on his hypocritical bulls.h.i.t.

"Madison-"

"And while we're at it, tell me why I had to see those photographs and still not hear a word from you."

"I can explain everything," he said, his heart racing as he remembered everything between them he'd put aside during his concern for her after the hearing.

"The words of a guilty man if I ever heard them," she said, but she didn't look angry.

He was confused by her mixed signals. She strode over to him and grasped him by the shoulders. She was slight but determined as she turned and backed him over to the sofa, pushing him into the couch cushions.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked.

"Having my say."

He narrowed his gaze. He'd never seen this side of Madison before, and he had to admit it was hot. Still, there was a lot between them that needed stating out loud and fixing.

"Any chance I can go first? Explain what happened in New York?" he asked.

"Nope." She straddled him and settled into his lap, facing him.

"How about the hearing? Can we talk about that?"

"Eventually."

He blew out a long breath and eased back against the couch, settling in. He figured he'd be here a while. "Go."

"Yeah." She let out a nervous laugh. "I wish it were that easy or simple." She ran a shaking hand through her hair. "I just went to visit Franny. I thought if Eric has his way, it might be the last time, so I wanted to make sure I said everything I could think of. Whether or not she could hear or understand."

His heart twisted for her. And this time, he didn't offer her plat.i.tudes, because as she'd learned today, it didn't matter what should happen, a judge could rule any way he wanted. Fairness be d.a.m.ned.

"While I was talking to her, she thought I was her sister Gracie ... and she was happy. She was in the past and reliving her life, and she laughed and smiled. I thought, I need to accept that at least she's happy where she is at this moment. That has to be enough for me. It's certainly enough for her right now."

He smoothed his hand over her hair. "That's huge for you. I'm glad you're finding a way to come to terms with losing her." Because loss was the one thing Madison feared.

"She's not gone. The woman I knew is gone, but another one is here. And you know what? She taught me something today."

Alex caught the twinkle in her eye, and he suddenly had more hope than he'd experienced since seeing her in Ian's conference room that first day.

"What's that?" he asked.

She met his gaze. "Living in the moment has to count. It has to be everything, or I'll have nothing, like you said. It just took seeing Franny happy today to make me realize it."

He waited, sensing she needed to keep going, and he remained silent.

"You're right. I've had a lot of loss. Too much. But here you are, offering me everything in the moment, and I'm so busy worrying about the future that I'm pushing you away. When I could be happy now. We could be happy now."

His head began to spin with the possibilities of what she was saying. "So-"

"So..." She drew a deep breath. "I'm here. I'm all in. And now I want to know what the h.e.l.l you think you were doing with that blonde in New York."

He couldn't help it. He threw his head back and laughed.

She poked him in the stomach with her finger. "Cut that out."

"I was set up." He raised both hands in front of him before she could argue. "I kid you not. My b.a.s.t.a.r.d of an agent decided to ambush me with meeting after meeting. He told me this was a test for the job when, in reality, they just wanted to get good publicity shots for the show. He basically told them I'd take the job without my permission. And last night at the restaurant, Allison was in on it. The d.a.m.ned restaurant was loud, she moved in closer. She knew someone was snapping pictures. I didn't."

Madison eyed him, eyes narrowed.

"What? You don't believe me?"

"Of course I believe you. I just can't believe your agent would do something like that to you."

That she trusted his word was huge, and hearing her say it, relief flooded him. "Ex-agent. I fired him as soon as I landed. And I couldn't call you last night or this morning because it was after midnight when I got back to the hotel, and I was up at four for a six a.m. flight."

She nodded. "I didn't like it, but I didn't jump to conclusions. But I was going to call it quits between us."

His gut clenched, and this time, he narrowed his gaze.

"I didn't think I could handle this kind of publicity and the women in your life, waiting for the other shoe to fall and you to decide you were finished with me again."

"Madison," he said on a low growl.

She placed her finger over his lips. "But I realized I can't live waiting to be miserable. That will happen-or it won't. But I need you in my life, and that means getting over my past and my fears."

"I'm here to help you, Angel."

She smiled, but it was far from genuine. "I'm broken, Alex," she said with tears in her eyes. "But I want to get better. I want to get it right with you."

He slid his hand behind her neck and pulled her hair tight. "Let's get one thing straight, okay? There are no other women in my life. None who matter. Want to know why?"