Damia. Part 4

Gradually, as the meal progressed and he and Gollee ate through the various delicious portions presented to them, he noticed that he was visibly relaxing. And, where at first the thought of losing his virginity had troubled his conscience, he began to see that if both Gollee, who was his age, and Luciano who was quite mature, considered a visit to a pleasure house an appropriate part of the day's conviviality, he ought not - out of courtesy - object to his host's plans for him. Then, too, Reidinger had a.s.signed Gollee as his guide and Gollee had mentioned that he often did escort visitors. Surely it would be churlish of afra to affect prudery. afra flushed suddenly at the memory of Reidinger's 'pathed comment. Surely... He put that thought sternly from him. Perhaps it would be the better part of discretion to relieve his tensions here on Earth so that he could return to Callisto with no lingering stress.

So, when the meal was finished and the last gla.s.s of grape juice drained, afra had no compunctions about falling in with the next item on Gollee's hospitable and helpful agenda. When afra's guide led him to a large, well-maintained building in a discreetly park-like suburb, he was no longer the least bit apprehensive. The ambience of the interior was welcoming and Gollee was greeted warmly, afra as well. He didn't even cavil when asked to undergo the obligatory physical scan and permitted a blood sample to be taken from his earlobe. He didn't even blush when required to place his ID disk in the processing slot so that his last anti-fertility jab could be noted. But then, Gollee was chatting away with the proprietor during these preliminaries so afra could hardly protest a routine which was not at all intrusive, but mutually protective.

The choosing of a partner was also mutual, not that afra noticed, but he was rather surprised when five attractive women approached him, smiling agreeably, and conversation was initiated. When the c.o.o.nie wandered into the lounge and right up to afra, he was charmed.

'This can't be a barque cat!' he exclaimed.

'No, indeed, it can't,' laughed the tallest of the five girls who wore dark curly hair in a close crop to her well-shaped skull. She had unusually pale blue eyes which fascinated afra for he'd never seen the like. 'This is a c.o.o.nie cat: the nearest we surface dwellers have to barquies. They're not quite as intelligent,' at which point the c.o.o.nie growled a protest, delighting afra, 'but they've qualities of their own.

Amos, this is afra. afra, meet Amos.' To the Capellan's surprise, the c.o.o.nie immediately jumped in his lap and, standing up on his hind legs, put his paws on afra's jaw and sniffed his mouth.

'You've made a friend!' the girl said, genuinely impressed. 'Amos has standards.' afra wasn't certain how to react until he saw the approval in Gollee's expression. And when Amos jumped down again and wandered out of the room, Kama of the pale blue eyes, moved just close enough to afra so that their legs touched.

Somehow there was a transition from the pleasant lounge and verbal sparring with Kama seated so enticingly close, to a private room. When it became apparent to her that afra wasn't at all sure how to proceed once they were alone, she became quite supportive.

'I'm your first? Well, the important thing is to do what comes naturally,' she said, gently ma.s.saging the tense muscles along his shoulders. 'My first time was special for me. I could do no less for you, especially,' she added with a throaty chuckle, 'when Amos approved of you.' afra's nerves made the first attempt more of a disaster than a release. Kama gave him the most tender of smiles and suggested that they just relax side by side and become more accustomed to each other.

She also kept running her hands about his body with feathery delicate touches so that very shortly he was ready to make a second attempt.

Not only was that eminently successful for both of them but afra was totally aware that her ecstasy was as genuine as his. That spurred him on to further efforts with Kama impressed by his stamina as well as his ingenuity.

When they woke a languorous time later with the room still dark, afra shyly asked if her cooperation was limited by time or deed.

'Not with you, my dear,' Kama replied and energetically pulled him to her, 'not ever with you!' When he returned to Callisto, he was both refreshed and exhausted, and stumbled into his quarters, falling over the packages that littered the lounge, and even the bedroom.

The orrery warned him he had only five hours before he was on duty again. He told himself to wake up in four so he could wash and find something more appropriate than the glad rags he shucked any which way as he made for his bed. He had also shucked a great many inhibitions though it actually took some time for him to determine which ones.

During that work period, he discovered just what a temper the Rowan had. He was so aghast at a PRIME in a tantrum that he was beyond surprise. Familiarity with Callisto Tower allowed him to react automatically to the minor crisis, soothing the Rowan and flicking the required placement into her lap in the Tower. Then he initiated the defence he had effectively used to blot boredom and proceeded with the transfers in his usual calm and imperturbable fashion.

Only when the Tower closed down hours later, did he realize that everyone else's nerves were frazzled.

'How do you do that, afra?' Brian asked him when the Rowan had stormed off to her own quarters, raw emotions swirling after her.

'Do what?' afra asked, looking up from the bird he was folding.

His hands and fingers were as deft as usual.

'Ignore her when she's broadcasting like that?' afra looked up with a grin. 'It certainly puts us on our toes.' There was no way he would admit that he had been stunned by her temperamental display. He had also been more fascinated than disturbed by it.

Brian gulped. 'Is that why she does it?' afra shrugged, opening the little blue bird's wings.

'She's the Prime. She can do what she pleases.

Brian frowned. 'She always does,' he said sourly, and i went back to sort out the mess of flimsies, pencil files and wayflippies that littered his desk. 'At least it was all cargo.' Busy with unpacking his new possessions, afra missed the first tentative knock on the door to his quarters. But a mental presence then impinged on his awareness so he heard the second rap.

'Come,' he called out, 'lifting' two cartons away from the door so that it could swing open.

It did, slowly, and he was astonished to see the Rowan peeking around the door, as if unsure of her welcome.

'Come in, come in,' he said, 'whisking' wrappings and styro packing pellets into an empty box and closing its flaps.

The Rowan slid in and closed the door behind her, regarding him with grey eyes wide and worried.

'What's wrong?' Her colour was wrong and her manner a dramatic contrast from the virago who had stormed out of the Tower a scant hour past.

'I want to apologize to you, afra,' she said in a muted voice.

'She's a lonely lonely girl.' afra quickly hid this recall of Reidinger's unvoiced a.s.sessment.

'Because I can take downside leave and you can't?' He couldn't feel her reading him nor would he breach Talent ethics by attempting to read her - in a remorseful mood or not.

'I think that was at the bottom of it,' she said and sighed deeply as she sank into one of the huge lounge pillows that he had just unpacked. Then she shook her head savagely: 'No, it wasn't. I must be honest with you if we're to continue as a viable team.' She locked her grey eyes on his yellow gaze. 'You've lost a certain tension. I can't.' She held up her hand when he opened his mouth. 'Reidinger's approved of you, you know.' 'I didn't.' She gave a little shrug that was more a twist of her shoulders than a lift. 'You wouldn't have been returned here if he hadn't.' 'I thought Primes made their own choices.

.. and afra grinned at her.

She managed a weak smile but her body lost much of its tension.

'I didn't even have to argue with him.' 'He liked the bull!' There was a genuine smile on the Rowan's narrow face now. She craned her neck up to look at him and he courteously dropped to a sitting position on the new table he had a.s.sembled.

'He liked the touch of square b.a.l.l.s and that, she pointed her finger at him, 'was your idea!' 'But it was your idea to distract him with an origami.' Her grin broadened. 'But you still had to take the initiative and you did.' afra c.o.c.ked his head at her. 'Were you listening?' Eyes wide with denial, she shook her head vigorously, her loose and slightly damp hair clinging to her cheek until she pulled it away and tossed the strands back. 'Not me.

I suppose if I really needed to, I could get into Reidinger's lair. But I would certainly have to have a very good excuse.

I see you put your downtime to good use,' she added, changing the subject as she looked about her with interest in his purchases.

afra managed to control a rush of blood to his face, thinking of how he had spent some of that time. 'Yes, well,' and he 'lifted' over an as yet unopened parcel, 'I didn't bring much with me, you know 'I do 'And I seem to have all kinds of allowances for the transfer so...' He used his strong hands to fracture the seal and brought out the lamp, crafted like one of his origami herons in a delicate ceramic. 'I couldn't resist this...' He held it up and she responded with generous compliments.

'What else did you get? Besides' - and her smile was mischievous -'reams of origami papers?' She helped him unpack the rest of his purchases and approved of the disposition of furniture and furnishings.

'Would you care for something to drink or eat?' he asked her, finally recognizing the onset of hunger and thirst in himself now that the day's demands had eased.

'No, not tonight, I think, afra. If you would be kind enough to join me tomorrow evening, I would be glad of your company.' She threw back her head, making eye contact. 'I'm a good cook.' The Rowan was subdued the next morning but her work was steady and her manner much improved over the day before. Still, by the end of the shift, afra steeled himself against the Rowan reneging on dinner.

He was positively startled when she asked: 'Is six too early?' afra shook his head. 'No, not at all.' His eyes lit appreciatively.

'Can I bring anything?' The Rowan gave him a deep smile. 'Some origami paper, as I know I won't be robbing you.' With a wad of various colours and sizes of paper, afra paused nervously outside her quarters.

He took a deep breath and pressed his hand against the door plate.

Come, the Rowan said and the door slid open.

afra took one step inside and went no further as he took in the Rowan's s.p.a.cious quarters. He had been more than pleased with his rooms but this - this was palatial!

Of course, she was a Prime and less than this sort of luxury would have been insulting. Nevertheless, his eye was drawn here and there by the clever disposition of sculpture, paintings and the style of the furnishings. She had simple but extremely elegant taste.

And, judging by the subtle aroma that drifted across the lounge area, that extended to her cooking. He took a deep breath.

'Smells great!' 'Tantalizing, huh?' the Rowan called, ducking to peer at him from the kitchen hatch. 'It ought to taste even better than it smells,' she added and beckoned him to join her.

She had three pots simmering on the hob. She pulled a spoonful from one and turned towards afra.

'Taste?' afra self-consciously bent down to sip from the proffered spoon. Mischievously the Rowan drew the spoon back, slowly enough that afra at first didn't catch on to her ploy. He made to grab her wrist but pulled back, shocking that he would ever accidentally touch a Talent, especially a Prime, without invitation.

The Rowan caught both look and feeling. 'So serious!' she noted sadly. 'Do young Capellans ever have fun?' afra felt his cheeks redden as memory sprung unbidden. The Rowan's smile fell and she forced the spoon into his hand.

'I've never done it before, Rowan,' afra blurted out in apology, both for his dalliance and the broadcast of it in her company. 'I - it...' he struggled for composure, 'I mean, I had dinner with Gollee Gren, he's a T-4, my age. They seemed, I mean - they acted as if that's what everyone does on Earth. Gollee - Luciano - and I really did feel stressful. I do feel much less taut today. I - I hope I worked well-' A suddenly magical smile pulled at the Rowan's lips. 'I shall also hope you performed well last night.' Her smile deepened as he gasped in shock at her reply. 'Well, I hope so for your sake, Afra.

And hers.' She turned back to the stove and stirred one pot vigorously. 'First times are special.' She c.o.c.ked her head at him. 'I was eighteen and he was special, too.' With an abrupt frick of her hand, she turned off the heat and began ladling the food into serving bowls. She gestured to Afra to take two and led the way to the dining room with the other two.

Seated, she explained the dishes. 'Sort of a smorgasbord of Chinese food - ginger beef, chicken cashew, kung pao chicken and-' she crinkled her nose at the last dish, finishing conspiratorily, '-something frozen from the BX.' 'And you did this since the generators shut down,' Afra protested, amazed that a Prime would go to such effort for a T-4.

The Rowan dismissed that consideration with a wave.

'Minutes! Lusena...' Her voice trailed off 'A friend?' Afra asked to end the uneasy silence that filled the room.

'The only mother I remember,' the Rowan replied. She tipped her head in a shrug. 'And more than a mother.

Have you ever lost someone close to you?' Afra shook his head, wishing for something to divert her sad shift of mood. 'No. But I cried for nights when my sister-' He broke off too late and regarded the Rowan sheepishly. 'I was only six and she and I always enjoyed a special rapport. I forgave you taking her from me when she said that you'd save a place for me.' The Rowan grinned. 'Goswina called up the image of such a charming little boy. And she was so anxious not to sully family honour because we both knew we could not work together. I did sense that your family would have been so pleased had we come to terms.' Her grin turned mischievous again. 'I'd always wanted a little brother. You seemed perfect for the role.' 'Green skin notwithstanding?' Rowan laughed. 'Skin's only the outer layer, Afra.' She reached up to ruffle his hair. Caught off guard by such an intimate gesture, Afra nearly ducked away but then submitted meekly to the fondling: quite different to Kama's. 'Sorry to maul you about, Afra. I realize that Capellans are too Methody to indulge but I don't think you're as Methody as you were.' She c.o.c.ked a knowing eyebrow at him and he managed to suppress a blush, if only to thwart her intention. 'Rebellious yet collected, controlled, studious, clever-fingered, quick-minded, slyly humorous, openly amusing. The many faceted Afra.' Abruptly she altered mood again. 'I'm glad that Goswina mentioned you. We work well together.' Then she compressed her lips, scowling until he looked at her, wondering what he had done wrong. Her grey eyes pierced him.

'Afra, mostly I need a friend.' She preempted his hasty a.s.surances. 'I can't leave Callisto. I can never conduct my own search for a mate. I have to wait to see what Reidinger finds to send me.' She grimaced, quite distorting her beauty. Then, as she flicked her long silver hair to her back, she added, 'That I have to accept as part and parcel of being a Prime but I have to have one friend.' She regarded him steadily.

Afra had never experienced such an onslaught of emotions before.

His face went numb and his mind raced in the tightest possible confused circles, hoping she wouldn't probe at such a delicate moment.

The Rowan was offering a deeper relationship than any he had ever had with another human being, even with Goswina. Less than Reidinger had hinted at but, for many reasons, more than Afra had any right to expect. A Prime was begging him to drop the careful ch.o.r.eography of acquaintance in the hopes of the most miraculous of friendships.

Slowly, dropping his mental shields, Afra extended his hand to her, palm up. The Rowan looked at it, catching her breath and appearing for a long moment as if she would retreat further into herself. Impulsively Afra grabbed her hand. She jerked at the touch, then made her fingers unclench.

What would you have me do, my friend? Afra asked across this tactile bonding, tighter than mere telepathy. Slowly the Rowan relaxed and slowly her marvellous smile lit her face to beauty.

Afra made his bow deep and respectful. He doubted she ever made amends to any of the other Tower personnel.

A Prime and the second in command of a Tower needed to cultivate their rapport - a rapport which must develop and intensify. To what degree? Afra wondered, once again recalling Reidinger's remark. Was that behind the Rowan's apologetic behaviour? In the seconds it took to complete the bow, Afra decided it would be very unwise to antic.i.p.ate. The Rowan was a lonely person but not necessarily lonely for him, in spite of what Reidinger tacitly suggested.

Over the next few years, by a serendipity Afra never quite understood, the relationship between the Rowan and himself deepened but never in quite the direction Reidinger would have preferred. Their professional rapport was shortly so fine-tuned that even the other Tower staff knew that Afra was the aide she had been searching for.

On the emotional level, Afra became increasingly able to gauge the Rowan's moods and, if necessary, would warn the Tower personnel to slap up their shields and endure.

He could sometimes turn her state with an adroit pressure of positive rea.s.surance. Sometimes he couldn't and the tension in the Tower would become thick enough to cut. Once or twice, when he felt she had gone beyond the bounds of permissible emotional display, he'd reprimand her, in kindly tone, heavy with surprise at her lack of control: though he hated to borrow any of his parents' att.i.tudes.

On those few occasions when he did reprimand her, her turbulence would generally abate to a tolerable fury.

As stationmaster, Brian Ackerman suffered more than anyone else.

When he threatened to quit, Afra would appeal to Reidinger. Of course, Afra never 'heard' what Earth Prime said to the Rowan but she would be reasonably docile for the next week or so.

Callisto was, in many ways, far more difficult a Tower than any other, including Earth's. So there was greater pressure on its Prime and Tower staff. Some lower T ratings weren't sufficiently flexible and were replaced but gradually, over the next few years, a balance was achieved and maintained. Afra also suggested a roster of temporary replacements when some key personnel reached an overload point. As a T-4 in gestalt with the station's generators he was able to, and did, send people downside for a few days' relief though, generally, the Rowan would oblige even if she was in a bad mood.

Since Afra could 'port himself with an a.s.sist from the station's generators, he availed himself of those periodic longer occlusions when great Jupiter, or several of the smaller moons, made traffic in or out of Callisto impossible. That was when he learned more of the planet of his ancestors.

The first visit he made, however, was to Damitcha in his forest retreat. Though the old chief was genuinely delighted to see his young friend, his mind wandered and, even during the brief stay, Damitcha became confused, thinking he was in Capella Port, or Betelgeuse, and wondering how Afra came to be so far from his home system.

More frequently, Afra accepted Gollee Gren's company on tours of the pleasure houses that abounded in the immense and sprawling capital of Central Worlds. These excursions were both relief and tantalizing for Afra. He met many lovely women, skilled and innocent, but none of them could hold his interest very long. He returned most often to the calm and understanding Kama - even if she teased him that he came more to dally with Amos, the c.o.o.nie, than with her. But she knew that he found solace in her company and she would arrange her time so that they could spend days together if he asked.

Back at the station he and the Rowan would engage in elaborate games, sometimes play-fighting with all the ferocity of mates.

Sometimes, when the mood threatened to turn intimate, the Rowan would break away, hiding her head from the hurt she had imposed upon him.

Afra's stern Methody upbringing helped him to school his expressions and turn his words to safer stances.

Their relationship evolved into something approaching elder sister-little brother but with an intimacy such blood affiliations could not attain. Afra, for his part, found it easier to accept that role than the young lover of an older woman. The Rowan used her greater age on him unmercifully until the two finally grew tired of it, dropping the petty bickering for the silence of dear companions.

Perhaps following the dictum that familiarity breeds contempt, the Rowan took increasingly to spending most of the station down-time in his company. Afra, for his part began to accept the gender differences between them in an attempt to aid him in his dealings with his less cerebral relationships. If Kama guessed, she never mentioned it.

Nor did the Rowan ever seek to find out more about Afra's 'downside' friend.

That consideration only underscored Afra's comprehension of the Rowan's loneliness which tore at him viciously, sometimes at the expense of his seeking out Kama. His deep compa.s.sion for the Rowan constantly teetered on the verge of offering to provide her physical as well as mental comfort. He fought within himself over the fear that by not providing her with a physical bond he was denying her the lover she so desperately wanted. But he feared more the consequences of his being wrong: of robbing the Rowan of the only person to whom she could spill her soul in an attempt to provide her with someone with whom she could share her life. And, deep within himself, Afra feared that perhaps she would accept; for he did not want to be the youngster in his love, he desired to be the consoler, the anchor for a young spirit blown by the winds of life.

But, as her loneliness manifested itself more frequently, Afra began to hope that she might turn to him. Certainly he was the most likely candidate in the galaxy, even if he 7' knew that she could not requite his abiding love for her.

Unconsciously, he sought alternative solutions to the Rowan's agoraphobia, a problem that seemed to affect all Prime Talents, of being unable to teleport without violent reactions. After her first s.p.a.ce voyage, the Rowan had arrived at Callisto Station in a near catatonic state.

While Afra knew that Callisto, also, had had the same violent reaction to s.p.a.ce travel, he wondered if there might not be a cure, especially for one as young as the Rowan was. If, he reasoned, the Rowan could escape Callisto Station and 'bring Mohammed to the Mountain' she would at least have the opportunity to dabble without it being immediately known to all her fellow workers. So he suggested that she try to overcome her s.p.a.ce phobia by making small ventures off the surface of Callisto in a special capsule, cushioned against any movement and opaqued from any source of exterior light or view. With his mind to minimize the act of 'portation, the Rowan tried to neutralize her agoraphobia. Gradually, she was able to endure being 'ported beyond Callisto for short periods.

Afra did not dare force the exercises.

Then the eighth planet of hot Deneb, bombarded by an alien task force, made contact with Callisto for desperately needed medical personnel to cope with the plagues spurted from s.p.a.ce at the colonial planet. And the mind that made contact was male, young, powerful and unattached.

When the Rowan proposed a mind-merge to defeat the invaders in Deneb's skies, Afra was both elated and wary.

But the mind-merge with Jeff Raven, successful as it was in destroying the intruders, was not sufficient to induce the Rowan to leave Callisto and join this potent young male on his home planet. Her despair hit a paralysing nadir so deep that Afra, and Brian, feared for her sanity.

Afra's rage on learning that Reidinger wanted to use the affair as a way of breaking the Rowan's phobia surprised everyone in its intensity. Reidinger in particular had come to consider the young Capellan of a placid temperament.

While he put his anger on hold with the appearance of the very distraught Rowan, he intended to do battle again with Reidinger as soon as possible, after all, he had been handling the situation quite adequately, d.a.m.n it!

The day was draining, more from the tragic air of the Rowan than the efforts of moving cargo. At the end of it, as Afra considered how best to help his Prime, a young man in plain travel gear arrived in the control room.

'You come up in that last shuttle?' Ackerman asked the stranger politely. Afra lost the answer as he scrutinized the man. He was tired but carried himself with a composed air marred only by a slight wistfulness and a greater nervousness.

'Hey, Afra, want you to meet Jeff Raven.' Ackerman's voice called him back to awareness. Raven, Afra noted to himself. Deneb, another part responded coolly. Deneb here? Afra had trouble believing it: Primes did not travel.

Jeff Raven's eyes met his.

'h.e.l.lo,' Afra murmured, rueful that his introspection had betrayed him.

'h.e.l.lo,' Raven returned, his grin altering imperceptibly.