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"I should have thought you had fallen in love more than once," she said.
This was no good.
"You would have been wrong, then," he said. "I should have thought so too till just lately. But I have just found out that I never loved before. I--I did everything else, but I did not love."
"You loved Daisy, do you mean?" she asked.
He flamed up for a moment.
"Ah, there is no good in saying that," he said, sharply. "What can be the use of it? I met the woman--there is only one--and she led me to believe that she cared for me. And when I told her that I loved her she said she had thought I was a gentleman and a friend."
Jeannie felt her heart melt within her.
"Yes, yes, I am sorry," she said.
"That is no good, I am afraid," said he. "You have got to tell me why you did it. We are man and woman, you and I. I cannot believe you did it out of sheer wantonness, from the desire to make me miserable, and, I am afraid, to some extent, to make Miss Daisy miserable. I don't see what you were to gain by it. Also you risked something since you were engaged all the time to Braithwaite. And the only thing I can think of is that for some reason you wished to get between Miss Daisy and myself. I suppose you thought I had been a bad lot--I daresay I had--and did not want me to marry her. But wasn't that an infernally cruel way of doing it?"
Jeannie said nothing, but after a long silence she looked at him.
"Have you finished?" she asked. "I have nothing to say to you, no explanation to give."
Once again, and more violently, his anger, his resentment at the cruelty of it, boiled over.
"No, I have not finished," he said. "I am here to tell you that you have done an infernally cruel thing, for I take it that it was to separate Miss Daisy and me that you did it. You have been completely successful, but--but for me it has been rather expensive. I gave you my heart, I tell you. And you stamped on it. I can't mend it."
Then that died out and his voice trembled.
"It's broken," he said--"just broken."
Jeannie put out her hands towards him in supplication.
"I am sorry," she said.
"I tell you that is no good," he said, and on the words his voice broke again. "Oh, Jeannie, is it final? Is it really true? For Heaven's sake tell me that you have been playing this jest, trick--what you like--on me, to test me, to see if I really loved you. You made me love you--you taught me what love meant. I have seen and judged the manner of my past life, and--and I laid it all down, and I laid myself down at your feet, so that you and love should re-make me."
Jeannie leant forward over the table, hiding her face in her hands.
"Oh, stop--for pity's sake stop," she said. "I have had a good deal to bear. I never guessed you would love me like that; I only meant you, at first, to be attracted by me, as you have been by other women. It is true that I was determined that you should not marry Daisy, and I knew that if you really got to love her nothing would stand in your way. I had to make it impossible for you to fall in love with her. It was to save you and her."
Jeannie felt she was losing her head; the sight of this man in his anger and his misery confused and bewildered her. She got up suddenly.
"I don't know what I am saying," she said.
"You said it was to save her and me," he said, quietly. "To save us from what?"
She shook her head.
"I don't know," she said. "I was talking nonsense."
"I am very sure you were not. And it is only just that I should know. By my love for you--for I can think of nothing more sacred to me than that--I bid you tell me. It is my right. Considering what you have done to me, it is no more than my right."
It had happened as Jeannie feared it might. She felt her throat go suddenly dry, and once she tried to speak without being able. Then she commanded her voice again.
"You were in Paris two years ago," she said. "There was a woman there who lived in the Rue Chalgrin. She called herself Madame Rougierre."
"Well?" said he.
"Daisy's sister," said Jeannie, with a sob.
She turned away from him as she spoke, and leant against the bookcase behind her table. It was a long time before he moved, and then, still with back turned, she heard him approach her, and he took her hand and kissed it.
"I love and I honour you," he said.
Jeannie gave one immense sigh.
"Oh, Tom," she said, "you are a man!"
"It is of your making, then," said he.
CHAPTER XXVI.
Easter fell late next year, but spring had come early, and had behaved with unusual sweetness and constancy, for from the middle of March to mid-April there had been a series of days from which winter had definitely departed. In most years April produces two or three west-wind days of enervating and languorous heat, but then recollects itself and peppers the confiding Englishman with hail and snow, blown as out of a pea-shooter from the northeast, just to remind him that if he thinks that summer is going to begin just yet he is woefully mistaken. But this year the succession of warm days had been so uninterrupted that Lady Nottingham had made the prodigious experiment of asking a few people down to Bray for a week-end party at Easter itself.
She was conscious of her amazing temerity, for she knew well that anything might happen; that the river, instead of being at the bottom of the garden, might so change its mind about their relative positions that in a few hours the garden would be at the bottom of the river, or, again, this bungalow of a house might be riddled and pierced with arctic blasts.
But, in spite of these depressing possibilities, she particularly wanted to have a few, a very few, people down for that Sunday. They had all a special connection with Bray. Things had happened there before, and it was a party of healed memories that was to gather there. If, after all, the weather turned out to be hopelessly unpropitious, they could all sit in a ring round the fire, holding each other's hands. She felt sure they would like to do that.
Probably there would be a great many _tete-a-tetes_ in various corners, or, if it were warm, in various punts. But she felt sure that they would all hold hands in the intervals of these.
Jeannie and Victor had been married in the autumn, and since then they had practically disappeared, surrounded by a glow of their own happiness. They had sunk below the horizon, but from the horizon there had, so to speak, come up a brilliant illumination like an aurora borealis.
But Lady Nottingham considered that they had aurora-ed quite long enough. They had no right to keep all their happiness to themselves; it was their duty to diffuse it, and let other people warm their hands and hearts at it. She had written what is diplomatically known as a "strong note" to say so, and she had mentioned that she was not alone in considering that they were being rather selfish. Tom Lindfield thought so too. He openly averred that he was still head-over-ears in love with Jeannie, and he wished to gratify his pa.s.sion by seeing her again, and having copious opportunities given him of solitary talks with her. He did not object (this was all part of the message that Lady Nottingham sent Jeannie from him) to Victor's coming with her, but he would be obliged if Victor would kindly make up his mind to efface himself a good deal. Otherwise he had better stop away.
Tom proposed to come down to Bray for Easter, and would be much obliged if Jeannie would come too. He did not ask her to set aside any other engagements she might have, because he was perfectly well aware that she had no other engagement than that tiresome and apparently permanent one of burying herself in the country with Victor.
Jeannie received this letter at breakfast down at their house in Hampshire. She read it aloud to her husband.
"What a darling he is," she said. "Victor, I shall go. I love that man."
"I know you do. He isn't a bad sort. Do you want me to come too?"
"Oh, I shan't go unless you do," said Jeannie, quickly.
"Right. It's a confounded nuisance, though, but I suppose you must. How many days do you want to stop there?"