Daisy in the Field Part 28

"Stop! - Mamma!" I cried; "what are you saying? There is no confidence. What are you talking about?"

"I only asked, who it was to be, Daisy? I thought you were talking of leaving us, and naturally concluded it was to be with somebody."

"Mamma - oh, mamma, I was speaking only in the abstract."

Mamma laughed. "In the abstract! Well, you will have to come from generals to particulars, Daisy. Abstractions will not satisfy anybody long."

I was in great difficulty and great confusion. Papa drew me into his arms again and kissed my lips and cheeks and eyes, as if he would have hid my blushes.

"You shall be as abstract as you like," he said; "and as long as you like. I give you leave."

"That's nonsense, though, Mr. Randolph," said my mother, standing at the back of his chair. "Daisy cannot live in abstractions for ever. She must choose, and let her choice be known; and the sooner the better. n.o.body can guess it now. She has been abstract enough."

I was in the greatest perplexity at this speech, which conveyed to me no meaning whatever. Let my choice be known?

Did mamma know about Mr. Thorold? I knew she could not; but then, what did she mean?

"There is no hurry, Felicia," said papa.

"I will not have Daisy marry any but an American, Mr.

Randolph."

"Agreed. There is no present likelihood that she will."

"But when we get to Florence, Mr. Randolph, and she is seen in the great world, things may not absolutely be within your control - or mine."

Mamma stood tapping her fingers upon the back of my father's chair, and I thought her very odd indeed. Her last sentence, however, had a word that I could answer. I stood up and faced her.

"Mamma," I said, "I am going to say something that you will not like."

"Then do not say it, Daisy."

"I would not, if I could help it. But you know, mamma, I am a servant of G.o.d - I have not changed, - and I and the 'great world' have nothing in common."

"Well? -" said mamma calmly.

"I do not belong to it. I have no place in it."

"No, of course. You are just out of school. A few months more will change all that."

"No, mamma, - please!"

"Yes, Daisy, - please!" she said, tapping my cheek with her finger, and then leaning forward to kiss me with smiling lips.

"You do not know what you are talking about, my love. You are made for the great world, Daisy. There is no danger of turning your head; so I have no objection to explain to you that you are magnificent."

"Mamma, what difference can that possibly make?"

They both laughed at me, and mamma said I would soon see.

"But, mamma," I urged, "that world and I have nothing in common. I should be out of my place in it, and it would find me something strange."

"It is quite time to have that altered then," she said. "You may be a nun if you choose afterward; but you shall know what the great world is, before you give it up; and it shall know you. You may spend your odd minutes in considering what dress you will wear for your first appearance, Daisy. Don't ask me for a white cambric and an ap.r.o.n with pockets."

I stood in much perplexity, not resolved what I ought to say next. Papa took my hand.

"It is not much, to show yourself," he said kindly. "What is the difficulty, Daisy?"

"You mean, show myself in a fine dress and in a fine a.s.sembly, papa?"

"I don't care about the dress," he answered.

"Yes, but you do, Mr. Randolph," said my mother. "Daisy would not wear a print, for instance, to the Grand Duke's ball. Your complexion, Daisy, will take any sort of colour; but rubies will look especially well on this skin, and pearls." She touched my face caressingly as she spoke, pushing back the hair from my temple and then bringing her hand down to take hold of my chin. "Little fool!" said she laughing - "does it dismay you?"

"Yes, mamma, - the thought of crossing your pleasure."

"You shall not do that. Good children always obey their mothers, I am not going to have you settled down on a plantation at home, east or west, without at least letting the world see you first."

"Daisy does not want jewels," said my father. "She is too young."

"One day she will," said mamma; "and an occasion might make it proper, even now. I hope so; for I want to see the effect."

Mamma went away, with that; and I sat down again by papa's side. Not to dream over the sunlight on the lake any more; I was busy with cloudy realities. "Children, obey your parents _in the Lord_." Oh, why did duty bid me go contrary to the pleasure of mine! I would have so gladly pleased them to the utmost limits of my power. Papa was watching me, though I did not know it, and presently said very gently, -

"What is it, Daisy?"

"Papa, I want to please you and mamma so much!"

"And cannot you?"

"Not in this, papa."

"Why? Explain to me. I do not understand your position, Daisy."

"Papa, I am a servant of Christ; and a servant is bound to do his Master's will."

"But you are begging the question."

"If you will have patience, papa, I will try to tell you how it is. You know the Lord said, 'If any man serve me, let him follow me.' You know how He lived and what He lived for.

Should I be following in his footsteps, when I was dressing and dancing and talking nonsense or nothings and getting so tired that I could do nothing but sleep all the next day? And papa, that is not all. It is so difficult, when one is dressed to look well and others are dressed in like manner, or for the same object, I mean, - it is very difficult not to wish to look well, and to wish to look better than other people, and to be glad if one does; and then comes the desire for admiration, and a feeling of pride, and perhaps, emulation of somebody else; and one comes home with one's head filled with poor thoughts, and the next day one is fit for nothing. And is that, following Christ? who went about doing good, who sought not His own, who was separate from sinners. And He said to His people, 'Ye are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.' "

"Why, Daisy," said my father, pa.s.sing over the last part of my speech, "how do you know all this? Have you been out into the great world already?"

"No, papa; but if the little world has such effects what must the great one do?"

"Pray, what little world have you seen?"

"The little world of West Point, papa. And something of the world of Washington."

"_That_ is not much like a European court," said my father. "How did you like West Point?"