Cynthia's Revels Part 15

PHI. Ay that. Who begins?

PHA. I have thought; speak your adjectives, sirs.

PHI. But do not you change then.

PHA. Not I. Who says?

MOR. Odoriferous.

PHI. Popular.

ARG. Humble.

ANA. White-liver'd.

HED. Barbarous.

AMO. Pythagorical.

HED. Yours, signior.

ASO. What must I do, sir?

AMO. Give forth your adjective with the rest; as prosperous, good, fair, sweet, well--

HED. Anything that hath not been spoken.

ASO. Yes, sir, well-spoken shall be mine.

PHA. What, have you all done?

ALL. Ay.

PHA. Then the substantive is Breeches. Why "odoriferous"

breeches, guardian?

MOR. Odoriferous,--because odoriferous: that which contains most variety of savour and smell we say is most odoriferous; now breeches, I presume, are incident to that variety, and therefore odoriferous breeches.

PHA. Well, we must take it howsoever. Who's next? Philautia?

PHI. Popular.

PHA. Why "popular" breeches?

PHA. Marry, that is, when they are not content to be generally noted in court, but will press forth on common stages and brokers'

stalls, to the public view of the world.

PHA. Good. Why "humble" breeches, Argurion?

ARG. Humble! because they use to be sat upon; besides, if you tie them not up, their property is to fall down about your heels.

MER. She has worn the breeches, it seems, which have done so.

PHA. But why "white-liver'd?"

ANA. Why! are not their linings white? Besides, when they come in swaggering company, and will pocket up any thing, may they not properly be said to be white-liver'd?

PHA. O yes, we must not deny it. And why "barbarous," Hedon?

HED. Barbarous! because commonly, when you have worn your breeches sufficiently, you give them to your barber.

AMO. That's good; but how "Pythagorical?"

PHI. Ay, Amorphus, why Pythagorical breeches?

AMO. O most kindly of all; 'tis a conceit of that fortune, I am bold to hug my brain for.

PHA. How is it, exquisite Amorphus?

AMO. O, I am rapt with it, 'tis so fit, so proper, so happy--

PHI. Nay, do not rack us thus.

AMO. I never truly relish'd myself before. Give me your ears.

Breeches Pythagorical, by reason of their transmigration into several shapes.

MOR. Most rare, in sweet troth. Marry this young gentleman, for his well-spoken--

PHA. Ay, why "well-spoken" breeches?

ASO. Well-spoken! Marry, well-spoken, because--whatsoever they speak is well-taken; and whatsoever is well-taken is well-spoken.

MOR. Excellent! believe me.

ASO. Not so, ladies, neither.

HED. But why breeches, now?

PHA. Breeches, "quasi" bear-riches; when a gallant bears all his riches in his breeches.

AMO. Most fortunately etymologised.

PHA. 'Nay, we have another sport afore this, of A thing done, and who did it, etc.

PHI. Ay, good Phantaste, let's have that: distribute the places.

PHA. Why, I imagine, A thing done; Hedon thinks, who did it; Moria, with what it was done; Anaides, where it was done; Argurion, when it was done; Amorphus, for what cause was it done; you, Philautia, what followed upon the doing of it; and this gentleman, who would have done it better. What? is it conceived about?

ALL. Yes, yes.