Cursed Boys: Tobias Part 19

I half smiled then headed for the door. Before coming, I had a whole speech prepared for him; but, now that I was here, I couldn't remember a d.a.m.n thing.

Jonathan followed me inside and we found Micky and Daniel sitting at a table.

"Look what the cat dragged in." Daniel said while leaning his chair back and balancing on only two chair legs.

"Actually, it's more like a dog, a very large s.e.xy dog."

Was he serious? I never actually saw Tristan fully transform and I had no idea what the h.e.l.l these two were, but now I'm a.s.suming werewolves.

"Did you just use the word 's.e.xy' and 'dog' in the same sentence?" I asked, with a rather disturbed expression on my face.

Jonathan just grinned and disappeared behind the bar table. Micky got up out of his seat and scooped me up into a bear hug, which succeeded in making me actually whimper.

I have healed a lot since being home, but I am only human after all. Micky must have realized this because he let me go really quick with an apology.

"I take it Tobias doesn't know you're comin'?"

"Not exactly, but he's smart, so I'm sure a part of him knows he'd be an idiot not to expect it."

"He's not quite himself right now. Are you sure you want to go up there?"

"No, but if I don't I might lose him forever, that I am sure of and it is not an option."

Micky nodded then kissed the top of my forehead. He reminded me of everything a father should be, everything my father wasn't.

I walked up the stairs slowly and with each step I could feel my heart beat speeding up. I reached up and knocked on the door; there was no turning back now.

"Not really in the mood Jonathan, or Daniel; whichever one you are."

I bit my lip and turned the door handle. I let out a low breath in relief that the door wasn't locked. I pushed it open and stared at Tobias's back. I could still see the marks from being tortured. I don't know if he would be scarred forever, or if the marks would fade in time.

"How do you know it wasn't Micky?" I finally asked.

I could see Tobias tense up at the sound of my voice. The entire room shifted; it was almost like someone had sucked the air out.

"Micky doesn't bother me up here unless it's important. Even then he doesn't knock."

I smirked a little then sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth. My words were completely failing me right now and I hated myself for it.

I walked into the room and closed the door behind me so the two of us could have some privacy. I didn't know how this conversation would go, but I didn't need everyone else over hearing it, especially if I was going to end up humiliated.

"What are you doing here?" he asked flatly without even turning around.

"You didn't come back to the house. I wanted to make sure you were alright. You haven't said a word to me since you got home."

"I'm fine."

I didn't believe that for a second. I took a step towards him and he moved away from me before I could touch him.

"I said I'm fine."

"I know."

Silence filled the air. Tobias stood by the cot and kept his back to me the entire time.

"Is that it then? You refuse to talk to me for days and now all I get is 'I'm fine'?"

"What more do you want from me?"

Was he serious right now? I could feel the painful tingling of my throat closing up as sobs threatened to choke me.

"What do I want? I want you to stop shutting me out and actually talk to me."

Tobias finally turned around and, instead of being greeted by a beautiful green; I was staring into the piercing red eyes of his hunger.

Instinctively, I took a step back, but regretted it instantly at the look on his face before he turned away from me.

"You should leave." He growled.

"No, I'm not going anywhere."

"Leave!" he screamed.

In an instant he was turned around and his face was less than an inch from mine. His fangs were bared and I could feel his hot breath against me with each pant he took to keep himself under control. I swallowed back the lump in my throat and let out a slow breath before shaking my head.

"No."

Tobias growled, then reached for the door but I quickly moved to stand in his way. I finally got him alone; I wasn't about to let him run off again.

"Move!"

"No!"

"I don't want to hurt you, Willow."

"You won't. You would never hurt me, so don't even pretend you want to."

"I'd never hurt you? I almost killed you!"

Tobias turned around and started pacing the room like a caged animal.

"That wasn't you Tobias. That was me. I almost killed me; I would do it again in a heartbeat."

I could feel the tears slip free and slide down along my cheeks. Tobias just kept pacing like it was the only thing that was keeping him human.

"Just talk to me Tobias, and when we're done I'll leave, if that's what you want."

"What I want? I don't want that, but you should."

"Then what the h.e.l.l do you want, because I'm getting really f.u.c.king tired of playing guessing games."

"I want to go back to the day I saw you almost get raped and killed in an alley-way, so I can stop myself from bringing you home with me. That is what I want."

His words completely shattered my heart. There was no way I could stop the tears from flowing now.

"Is that what you want? You want to take back everything that has happened since the day you met me? You regret being with me that much?"

"Don't put words in my mouth Willow, that's not what I f.u.c.king said."

"It pretty much is. You wish you never met me, I get it."

"No. I wish I could take back the last f.u.c.king month of h.e.l.l from you. I want to be able to take away all that pain, everything that had been done to you because of me."

"I'm fine. I'm home and I'm safe."

"Yeah, but not because of me."

"What does it matter who saved me; I was saved and I'm ok. We are both alive so why do you hate me so much?"

"f.u.c.k me, is that what you think Willow? That I hate you?"

"Well yeah, after the last few days it's kind of hard not to think you hate me. You barricaded yourself in your room so you didn't have to talk to me. h.e.l.l, you'd rather stay in a cot above a bar than see my face."

We stood in silence as he stared at me from across the room. Tears continued to flow and if I didn't know any better I could have sworn I saw a few running down his cheeks as well.

"I hate myself, not you. I was there with you and I couldn't do anything to protect you. I should have been the one who made the nightmares stop. Not my brothers."

Tobias crossed the room and pulled me against him; his one hand held me around the waist and the other brushed away my tears.

"I don't hate you. I could never hate someone as perfect as you. I just couldn't face you because I thought you would hate me after everything I did, but more importantly I couldn't face you if you didn't hate me. You deserve so much more than I'm able to give you."

"I only want you."

"I can't be the man you need me to be, Willow. I'll never be able to grow old with you and I could never give you children. You deserve to have children; you would be an amazing mother."

"I really wish people would stop telling me what I do and don't deserve. I get it enough, now that Jennica has shown up at the house; I really don't need it from you too. I'm a grown a.s.s woman Tobias. I can make my own decisions, so stop treating me like I'm a child and taking them away from me."

"But-"

"No! No buts! Let me make my own choices. I don't want to grow old with someone or have children or live the life everyone else expects me to have. I want you! "

I could see him clenching and unclenching his jaw. I could tell he wanted to argue, but there was no way I was backing down from this. Before he could come up with an excuse to deny me what I want, I used the only thing I could think of that might change his mind.

"I love you."

It felt like my chest was going to explode with the way my heart was racing. This was the moment of truth, when I would find out how Tobias truly feels about me.

I waited for him to say something, anything, but he remained silent. My heart felt like it was going to fall apart. Maybe he didn't feel the same about me after all.

I turned away from him, unable to take the uncomfortable silence anymore. If he didn't feel the same about me, then so be it. There was nothing I could do to change his mind at this point.

I grabbed onto the door handle; but, before I could pull it free, I felt his arms around me. Tobias pulled my back against his chest and tilted my head so he could capture my mouth with his.

My whole body was set on fire the second he touched me and I wanted nothing more than to melt against him. I reached up and grabbed the back of his head, pulling him deeper into the kiss; I was afraid if I didn't hold on to him I'd lose him all over again.

Tobias finally pulled away from the kiss and spun me around so I was facing him, but kept me pinned against the wall.

"You're going to regret choosing me."

"It's still my choice to make, as long as you choose me, too."

"I will always choose you."

He leaned in and kissed me again, but this one was a lot gentler, like he was afraid to hurt me. It made me weak in the knees and I nearly lost balance completely.

"You should still be at home recovering." He said as he lifted me off my feet and sat me down on the cot.

"I'm fine; I just haven't been able to keep any food down. It's because of the pain killers your brothers got me. They are messing with my stomach and making me feel sick all the time."

"I'll take you to a doctor; they can get you s different kind that doesn't bother your stomach so much."

"And what do I tell them when they ask what the h.e.l.l happened to me?"

"We tell them you were in a car accident. They don't really ask too many questions around here."

I never thought about that; it was actually a brilliant idea. I should have done it days ago.

"Alright, we can go tomorrow or something."

"Why not now?"

"Because right now, I'm with you and that is exactly where I want to be."

The smile on his face gave me b.u.t.terflies. G.o.d I loved this man, and I was an idiot not to realize it sooner.

"Are you coming home with me? I have Tristan's truck."

"Later. Right now I'm going to do something I've been dying to do since the night I first made you mine."

I was about to ask him what he was talking about when he leaned in and claimed my mouth with his. All words and questions fled my mind at his touch. All I could think about now was the gorgeous man in front of me.

I placed my hand against his chest and traced the contours of his perfectly sculpted body. I could never get enough of this man.

I could feel the desire spreading through me as my body craved him. Tobias clearly felt the same way because he growled into the kiss and pulled me to my feet.

Before I knew it, my body was already obediently lifting my arms while he pulled my shirt free. I was glad I didn't bother putting a bra on before coming to see him, because I was desperate to feel his mouth on me.

Tobias carried me across the room and used his hips to pin me against the wall and hold me up, as he cupped one of my b.r.e.a.s.t.s with one hand and took the other into his mouth. His tongue was electric and sent pulses through my entire body, making me crave him even more.