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"Now hurry the f.u.c.k up," I growl, kissing her forehead before spinning and walking away, leaving her standing in the middle of the bookstore still completely confused about what the h.e.l.l just happened.
It's less than fifteen minutes before she finally emerges from the store, a large plastic bag dangling from her fingers. The moment her eyes spot me they widen. She clearly was not expecting me to still be here waiting for her.
"I thought you left." I can see the glimmer of relief in her eyes despite the fact that she tries to act completely unaffected.
"It seemed as though I was more of a distraction than anything." I tilt my head toward the store. "I figured you could use a minute to get the stuff you needed."
"O-k-a-y," she draws out, turning left to head back in the direction we came.
"When do your cla.s.ses start back up?" I try to make casual conversation.
It's clear that I've pushed my luck with her. Maybe it's time I work on actually showing her why she shouldn't hate my guts.
"Tuesday." She keeps her eyes focused forward.
"I don't think you've ever mentioned what you're studying." I pry, genuinely curious to learn more about this girl.
"Probably because you've never cared to ask." A small smile plays on her mouth and I can tell she rather enjoys busting my b.a.l.l.s.
"Fair enough. So, what are you studying?" I ask when she makes no attempt to offer the information.
"Substance abuse counseling," she says, keeping her gaze focused in front of her.
"Really? Any particular reason?"
"Just seems like a good way to be able to help people." She flashes her hazel eyes at me for the briefest moment, and I swear I see a hint of sadness behind them.
I'm starting to understand that there is much more to this girl than I originally thought.
"Don't want to talk about it. Accepted." I nudge her shoulder with mine. "But for the record, I'm a pretty good listener if given the chance."
"For some reason I find that hard to believe," she jabs again.
"Ouch," I say, acting as if she's physically wounded me. "That hurts."
"Shut up," she laughs, shaking her head as she meets my gaze again.
"I like your laugh." I reach out, wrapping my fingers around hers.
It surprises me that she allows me to hold her hand, but it surprises me even more how much I enjoy doing it.
"Almost as much I like the sound of you moaning," I tack on, raising my eyebrows up and down suggestively.
"Oh my G.o.d. You really are something else." She laughs again, turning her face in an attempt to hide her blush.
"What are you doing Friday night?" I ask, turning my gaze forward.
"I'm not sure yet, why?"
"A few of us are getting together for dinner. Nothing fancy. Just a casual sit down with some friends. You interested?"
"I shouldn't." She shakes her head.
"You should," I correct her. "Kimber and Decklan will be there. As will Paxton, my sister Charlie, and maybe a couple others. Come on, it'll be fun."
"Maybe another time." She once again refuses.
"You know, it's not illegal for us to actually hang out," I remind her.
"Gavin, I have a boyfriend." She hits me with a look that says she wishes she didn't.
"You don't need to remind me. I am perfectly aware of the boy you insist on claiming is your boyfriend."
"He is my boyfriend," she objects. "We've been dating exclusively for nearly a month now."
"Have you now?" I hold up our entwined hands, tightening my grip when she starts to pull away. "It didn't seem so exclusive when you were kissing me."
"I..." she starts, but I cut her off.
"Look, you're seeing someone, I get it. That doesn't mean I have to like it or that I'm just going to accept it. It just means I'm going to have to try that much harder to make sure it doesn't work out."
The shock that registers on her face is both f.u.c.king adorable and infuriating. What the f.u.c.k does she think I'm doing here? I thought I'd made it pretty clear that she's what I want. Maybe I haven't been clear enough.
"Well you're wasting your time," she says before tugging her hand out of mine.
Coming to an abrupt halt, she spins toward me, clearly ready to give me an earful. But before she can get anything out, my hands are on her face, cupping her cold cheeks against my palms as I drop my lips to hers. As much as she tries to fight this, her reaction to my kiss gives her away. It's soft and brief, but once again I feel like it makes my point. Slowly pulling away, I put only a few inches of distance between us.
"You can pretend all you want, Harlee. But what you really want couldn't be clearer. So let me be equally as clear. I want you. And when I want something, I get it." I give her a c.o.c.ky smile, letting my hands fall from her face before sidestepping past her.
She opens her mouth like she's about to argue but then closes it again, something obviously catching her attention. Panic flashes across her flushed face before she eventually plasters on a fake smile and straightens her shoulders. It isn't until I follow her line of sight that I see the douche bag she's dating heading toward us, his eyes bouncing between the two of us.
"Hey." She smiles when he steps up directly in front of her.
"Hey." He leans forward, casually dropping a kiss to her forehead.
The action makes me want to shove his f.u.c.king a.s.s through the window of the flower shop next to us. But given the relief that seems to wash over Harlee, I refrain from doing anything to ruffle his feathers. It's clear he didn't see our little interaction just moments prior, though a part of me wishes he had.
"I tried calling you," he continues, his focus firmly on her.
"Oh sorry. I had lunch with Joy and then had to run to the bookstore." She holds up the bag in her hand. "I ran into Gavin along the way." She flips her eyes to me, the small glimmer of panic evident in her stare.
She watches me warily, clearly very concerned about what I might do or say. I throw her a knowing smile and then turn toward the boy.
"Gavin Porter." I extend my hand to him. "I don't believe we've officially met. You came to my bar on New Year's."
"The business partner." He connects the dots, giving my hand a brief shake before pulling back. "I had the pleasure of meeting Decklan a few days ago."
"Well I don't know how much of a pleasure meeting that a.s.shat is, but I'll tell him you said so." He laughs at my obvious joking.
"Quite a place you guys have over there. I appreciate you guys showing us such a great time." He seems completely at ease with me which bothers me more than it should.
The last thing I want him to feel in my presence is comfortable.
"Glad you enjoyed yourself." I nod.
"Oh we did, didn't we, babe." He drops an arm over Harlee's shoulder. The action causes me to twitch slightly.
"We did," she confirms, wrapping her arm around his waist as if to make a point about my earlier statement.
"You want to go grab some coffee?" He turns his attention back to Harlee, tucking a long strand of light blonde hair behind her ear. His hand lingers on the side of her face just a fraction too long, and I have to shove my hands into my pockets to keep myself from pushing him off of her.
"Sure." She gives him a sweet smile, pushing up to lay a kiss to his jaw.
Now who's toying with whom?
"Gavin, you're welcome to join us." Bryan turns back to me.
The laid back surfer thing he has going on for whatever reason grates on me. Probably because if not for the woman standing between us, I might actually like the c.o.c.k sucker.
Regardless, I have no desire to sit and watch him hang all over Harlee. Of course, the thought of what might happen if I'm not there is even worse.
"No. No thanks." I shake my head, not missing the relief that flashes across Harlee's face. "It was good seeing you again, Harlee," I say, meeting her eyes for a brief moment. "Nice meeting you, man." I nod toward Bryan.
"You, too," he calls after me as I take off down the sidewalk back toward my truck.
Anger spirals through me. It takes everything I have not to turn around and force her to come with me. That little s.h.i.t display she put on was the weakest attempt I have ever seen at trying to deter me from pursuing her.
If anything, she has made this an even more interesting little game we seem to be playing now. She wants to dangle her little boy in front of me? She thinks that's gonna scare me off? She has no f.u.c.king clue who the h.e.l.l she's dealing with.
Challenge accepted.
Chapter Eight.
Harlee "Why am I doing this?" I stare at my reflection, wondering what on earth could have possessed me to agree to Kimber's invitation for dinner when I had already declined Gavin's.
I catch my hazel eyes in the floor length mirror and study myself for a long moment. As much as I try to convince myself that the only reason I am doing this is because Kimber asked me to, I know that's not the case. Just like with New Year's, a part of me is one hundred percent aware that my reasoning has much more to do with a handsome c.o.c.ky bar owner than it does my friend.
No matter how much I tell myself what a horrible idea this is, I'm determined to prove to myself that I can exist in a world where Gavin Porter is nothing more than my friend's boyfriend's best friend.
I've made my choice. Bryan. He's sweet and kind, fun and charming. He doesn't send me soaring on the emotional rollercoaster that Gavin does. He doesn't play games or purposely try to rile me up to see how far he can push me. He wants nothing more from me than me. I'd be an idiot to throw all that away for a man like Gavin Porter.
Taking a deep breath, I straighten the hem of my black sweater dress before taking a step back to inspect the rest of my attire; dark gray leggings partnered with two-inch black heels. It's a cute outfit but casual enough that it doesn't look like I'm trying too hard. This is exactly the type of outfit a girl wears out to a casual dinner with friends which is precisely why I picked it.
I decided to leave my long light blonde hair hanging down my back in loose curls and kept my makeup light; limiting myself to nude colors, a light coating of mascara, and clear lip gloss. I'm trying my best not to try too hard and yet I still can't help but feel like trying too hard is exactly what I'm doing.
"You ready? Car's here." Kimber pulls my attention to where she's standing next to the door, a small clutch purse in her hand.
I hadn't even realized she was ready yet, but it's clear to see she's been waiting on me for at least a couple minutes now. I scan my eyes down her short, slender frame. Per usual, she looks amazing. Like me she's wearing a long sweater, only hers is blue and gray striped and paired with tight dark skinny jeans.
"Ready." I sigh, grabbing my wristlet purse from the dresser before crossing the s.p.a.ce toward her. "Your hair looks really cute like that," I say, reaching out to trail my fingers through the ends of her blonde waves which are tied off in a loose side pony.
"You don't think I look like I'm twelve?" She crinkles her nose.
"Not even a little." I laugh, pulling open the door to our dorm room before following her out into the hallway.
"Thank you again for coming. As much as I love Decklan's friends, I always get nervous whenever we do a group function. It makes me feel better knowing at least one person there is on my side." She throws me a sideways smile before pushing her way outside.
I immediately wrap my arms around myself, a crisp breeze blowing across my face the moment we step out into the chilly evening air. I probably should have thought to wear a coat but honestly, I hate lugging one around unless I know I'm going to be outside for any real length of time.
Thankfully, it doesn't take us long to reach the cab sitting on the curb just a few feet from the sidewalk. It isn't until we slide into the back that I turn my attention back to Kimber.
"Why did Decklan not pick you up?" I ask.
"Because it's freezing on his motorcycle for one. I don't know how he manages to ride that thing twelve months a year." She shivers just thinking about it. "Besides, did you expect him to fit both of us on the back?" she laughs.
"I guess I didn't think about that," I admit.
"The restaurant is local, so it cost next to nothing to pay a cab. I guess Gavin didn't want Charlie to have to travel all the way to Portland so everyone is coming down this way. I would have suggested he pick us up, but he's already giving Paxton and Charlie a ride so it's doubtful they could have squeezed us into his truck, too."
I don't know why I never thought to ask where we were going. The fact that we are going somewhere in Eugene is news to me. I just a.s.sumed we'd be driving to Portland. My stomach twists slightly at the thought of being in a location where Bryan might walk in.
I'm just going out with friends, I remind myself. Bryan knows I'm having dinner with Kimber and a few others. I'm not doing anything wrong. But if that's the case, why do I already feel so d.a.m.n guilty?
"Did you tell Gavin I was coming with you?" I ask, pulling Kimber's attention from looking out the window, back to me.
"I told Decklan. Not sure if he mentioned it or not. Why do you ask?" She hits me with suspicious eyes.
"Just wondering. He invited me to come with you guys; I told you that. But at the time I didn't think I'd be able to, so I told him I couldn't."
Up to this point, I have divulged very little about my situation with Gavin to Kimber. I don't want to put her in an awkward position where she's stuck between the two of us. To be completely honest, I'm not really sure how I would explain what's going on anyway. It's all so random and confusing.
She knows we talked New Year's, though I left out the earth-bending kiss. She also knows I ran into him on Sunday after having lunch with Joy but again, I didn't tell her anything about him kissing me. As far as I've told her, we have put aside the fact that we slept together a couple months ago and have decided to try to be friends.
"Gotcha. Well, either way, I'm sure it's fine." She gives me a warm smile before turning her attention back out the window. She seems distracted for some reason. She keeps knotting her hands in her lap like she's nervous.
I hope it doesn't have anything to do with me. A shiver of panic runs through me. What if she knows I'm lying to her? A part of me feels like she believes me. The other part feels like she knows I am full of complete and total s.h.i.t. Either way, I'm sticking to my story.
I feel bad keeping secrets from Kimber. In the few months we have been roommates, we have become extremely close. She trusted me when everything went down with her and Decklan, and yet here I am shutting her out.
Just another thing to add to my list of ways that I suck.