Crazy Stupid Obsession Part 11

s.h.i.t. s.h.i.t. s.h.i.t. I totally forgot that we had made dinner plans before I decided to come to Portland to end things with Gavin. We all know how that turned out for me.

I know. I'm so sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you.

I hit send, flipping my eyes nervously between my phone and where Gavin is still standing in the kitchen. I feel more than a little guilty for lying to Bryan, but oddly enough I feel even guiltier for texting Bryan while I'm here with Gavin. f.u.c.k me. This situation is so screwed up.

When are you heading back?

Another incoming message pulls my attention back to my phone.

Not sure. Probably not until tomorrow.

I immediately pull up Joy's name and shoot her a quick text letting her know I'll have her car home tomorrow. Not that she's missing it. She has four others which is precisely why I don't own one. I can walk almost everywhere and when I need to drive, I know Joy will always let me borrow one of hers. h.e.l.l, she'd probably have already bought me three of my own if I would let her.

Bryan has already text back before I even get the message to Joy sent. When I finally get to opening his latest message, my stomach knots as the guilt once again smacks me right in the face.

I was hoping to spend some time with you this weekend. Call me as soon as you get home, and I'll come over.

Deal.

I text out one more response before locking my phone, dropping it back into my purse just as Gavin appears in the living room, balancing two plates in one hand and two bottles of water in the other.

"Sorry." I immediately stand, relieving him of one of the plates.

"Everything okay?" he asks, gesturing to where I just put my phone.

"Oh yeah, just fine. I was just texting Joy to let her know I'd have her car back tomorrow," I say, ignoring the little voice in my head chanting liar.

"Who says I'm letting you leave at all?" He settles down next to me on the couch before handing me one of the waters.

"Pretty sure you're gonna have to let the girl leave eventually." Paxton appears from the kitchen, a beer clutched in his hand.

"Thank you, Paxton." I nod in his direction before giving Gavin a teasing look.

"Ganged up on by one of my best friends and my girl. Something's wrong with this scenario." He laughs, taking a large bite out of his sandwich despite the fact that his statement has rendered me completely speechless.

My girl... He called me his girl.

The statement causes my heart to pick up speed until it is thudding violently against my ribcage. Paxton quips some smart a.s.s remark at Gavin who only laughs before turning his eyes back to me just as Paxton exits the room.

"You okay?" he asks, clearly seeing something on my face the warrants the question.

"Yeah. I am," I admit truthfully, shaking off my temporary fog. "I'm more than okay." I lean forward, laying a soft kiss to his jaw before turning my attention to my sandwich.

Gavin flips on the television and we eat in silence, both completely enthralled with the latest episode of House Hunters International on HGTV. It's a comfortable silence, one that makes me feel more at ease than I've felt in a very long time.

I find myself flipping my eyes toward Gavin every few minutes, smiling every time I see that adorable grin on his face when he realizes I'm watching him.

When Paxton leaves again less than an hour later, we are still on the couch, only now we have moved from sitting side by side to me laying with my head in Gavin's lap as his fingers lazily trail through my hair.

Before too long my eyelids start to grow heavy and I find each second more difficult than the last to keep them open. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to miss one moment of this incredible day I've gotten to spend with Gavin. I'm so scared that I will wake up to find it was all some crazy dream.

Unfortunately, that fear is not enough for my body to fight off exhaustion any longer. I don't even realize I've dozed off until I feel Gavin stir beneath me. Seconds later I'm being lifted into the air and cradled against Gavin's chest. I barely register the movement, rolling to the side the moment I feel the mattress beneath me.

Within seconds I feel Gavin's arm snake around me as he settles in behind me. The last thing I remember is his lips grazing the back of my neck and then sleep takes me under once more.

Chapter Thirteen.

Harlee "So why are we here again?" I look at Gavin just seconds after he kills the engine of the truck behind Deviants.

"Thought it'd be good to get you out of the condo, show people you're still alive." He winks, pushing open the driver's side door before sliding out.

"By people you mean Kimber." I shake my head, following his actions as I exit the truck, shutting the door behind me.

"I've kept you all to myself for the last two days, and as much as I would love to lock you up and never let you leave, Kimber has requested to see her friend. And by that I mean Decklan has been hounding the s.h.i.t out of me since Paxton told them you were with me." He laughs, dropping his arm over my shoulder as he leads me toward the rear entrance of the bar.

"I'm not ready to return to the real world just yet," I whine, stopping just feet shy of the door.

A large grin takes over his impossibly handsome face just seconds before he grabs my hand, pulling me to him. Wrapping his arms around me, he drops a kiss to my forehead.

"Neither am I," he admits, holding me just long enough that I know he one hundred percent means his statement.

When he finally releases his hold on me, he spins, pulling open the door before either of us can delay any longer. Waiting for me to enter first, he steps directly in behind me, the sound of Paxton's voice immediately filling my ears. I turn toward the left, catching sight of him sitting in a barstool in the center of the stage, his acoustic guitar resting in his lap as he speaks out to the rather impressive sized crowd for a Sunday night. I don't know why but I expected the place to be a ghost town.

Paxton's wearing tattered jeans partnered with a vintage Smashing Pumpkins shirt, his hair pushed back in its usual style, not a strand out of place. He really does look like a rock star up there. I dare say anyone who witnessed the sight of him would agree with me.

"Come on." Gavin pulls my attention back to him as he wraps his hand around mine and pulls me through the bar.

He leads me toward the back where the majority of the room is made up of high-top round bar tables, not slowing until we reach the back corner where I spot Decklan and Kimber leaning into one another. Their faces are just inches apart, and both have ridiculous smiles pulling up their mouths.

My G.o.d they look happy.

I immediately flip my eyes to Gavin, really letting myself grasp for the first time that he has the ability to make me just as happy. When I look at them, I see us in a way. The way Kimber looks at Decklan, the way Decklan looks at Kimber, reminds me a lot of the exchanges Gavin and I have shared over the course of this weekend. The thought makes my stomach twist in both excitement and fear.

Kimber's eyes widen when she spots us approaching, drawing Decklan's attention to our arrival as well. Both sets of eyes follow us until we stop directly next to their table.

"Bout time you two showed up." Decklan leans forward casually, taking a long drink of his beer.

"You're lucky we're here at all," Gavin bites playfully, sliding into the stool next to Decklan which prompts me to take the seat between Gavin and Kimber. "How's he doing?" Gavin gestures toward the stage where Paxton has just begun to play a new song.

I recognize it immediately; Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade. I know it the moment he strums out the first few chords, seeing how it's one of my favorites.

"Really well." Decklan nods, taking another gulp of his beer. "Women are eating him up per usual," he adds.

"No surprise there." Gavin shrugs, turning his attention back to the table.

"Hey girl." Kimber nudges her shoulder against mine, for the first time pulling my gaze to her since we arrived at the table.

Okay so maybe I've been avoiding looking in her direction since I sat down. Clearly, she hasn't missed this fact.

"Hey." I smile, trying to act completely casual.

I don't know why I feel so weird.

"You want a drink?" Gavin leans in on my other side, speaking directly into my ear.

"Please." I turn my face inward. "Preferably something with liquor."

He laughs, kissing my temple before pushing into a stand.

"I'll come with you." Decklan immediately stands as well, winking at Kimber before following Gavin toward the bar.

Kimber doesn't even wait until the men are out of earshot before pouncing.

"Spill," she demands, narrowing her eyes on me.

"Spill what?" I try to play it off like this isn't a big deal at all, though deep down I know it's a much bigger deal than even I'm ready to admit.

"How long has this been going on?" She gestures toward the guys who are now standing at the bar.

"It just started. I mean, kind of." I let out a nervous laugh. "I don't even know what this is," I admit.

"So you guys are like a thing now?" It's more of a statement than a question, but I choose to answer it like one.

"I guess so." I shrug, not really sure how to label it.

"So I take it you broke things off with Bryan. He must have been heartbroken. You know how much he liked you," she says, her eyes widening when she catches the expression on my face. "No?" She shakes her head.

"I haven't had a chance to. This whole thing happened so fast."

"Harlee, you can't do that. You have to tell him, like now."

"I know. I just..."

"You just what?" She eyes me curiously.

"What if breaking things off with him isn't the right choice?" I ask hesitantly, fearing the judgment from her I'm sure is soon to come.

I realize how awful of a person this makes me. I'm not stupid enough to believe that my actions here won't have consequences. I'm just not sure I'm ready to face them just yet.

"You can't be serious?" She looks at me like I've got five heads. "From the moment you and Gavin hooked up after Halloween, he's all you talked about."

"Until Bryan," I remind her.

"Even still," she continues like I didn't just interrupt her, "you started dating Bryan because you thought you knew what you were going to get with Gavin. You can't tell me that's still the case. Because if so, then what the h.e.l.l have you been doing at his condo all weekend?"

"We hooked up that night after dinner. The night you saw us kissing," I admit, knowing in order to make her understand I'm going to have to tell her everything. "I didn't plan for it to happen, nor did I really want it to. It's just when that man touches me; I swear to G.o.d, girl, my mind turns to mush."

"Trust me, mush I understand." She reaches out and pats my hand rea.s.suringly.

"So we hooked up and while in the moment it was incredible, I immediately regretted it afterward. I knew how wrong it was, especially because of Bryan. I promised myself right then and there that it wouldn't happen again."

"How is that going for you?" she asks sarcastically, clearly just trying to lighten the situation, which I appreciate.

"Pretty obvious I think." I roll my eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

"So how did you end up at his place?" She pushes me to continue.

"I went there Friday afternoon to end things. I knew I needed to do it face to face or he would likely just show up, and I didn't want to risk Bryan finding us together. I had every intention of telling him that what happened Thursday night could never happen again, but then he looked at me with those d.a.m.n blue eyes and crooked smile and it all flew out the window."

"I understand that feeling. I know what it's like to be so completely consumed by a man that you can't see five feet past him. That still doesn't change that what you're doing is wrong," she reminds me.

"I know, he texted me yesterday. Bryan," I add. "I lied. I told him I was spending the weekend in Portland with you." I give her an apologetic look, hating that I dragged her into my lie.

"He never questioned it," I continue. "Not even for a second. Oh G.o.d, I really am the worst person in the world." I drop my head into my hands.

"No, you're not. You're human. You just need to make a decision and stick with it. It's not fair for you to drag two men behind you while you decide which one you want to be with."

"I want Gavin," I admit. "But I'm scared. What if he turns out to be exactly the person I thought he was all along and I lose Bryan over it? I don't know what to do."

"Go with your heart." Kimber takes my hand in hers and gives it a light squeeze. "When I questioned my ability to be with Decklan, when I worried that he would hurt me, you were the one who pushed me to conquer that fear. You convinced me that if I felt as deeply for Decklan as I claimed that I would never forgive myself for just giving up and walking away. And you know what? You were right. The only thing I would ever regret would be not fighting for what he and I have." She gives me a small smile.

"Look," she continues. "There are no guarantees in this life. Things might work out, they might not, but can you just walk away without finding out for yourself?"

"I think I'm in love with him," I admit, flipping my eyes to the bar where Decklan and Gavin appear to be in just as deep of a conversation.

"I know you are." She smiles, releasing my hand. "I knew it the moment I saw you two kissing at the restaurant that there was something brewing between you two. My suspicions were confirmed tonight when I saw the way he was looking at you. I'd say you're not alone in those feelings."

"Really?" I don't know why her statement surprises me but it does.

"I've been around Gavin long enough to know he doesn't really do the girlfriend thing. You are the only girl I've ever seen him come into the bar with. Usually, he just leaves with them and even then it's always random girls that I never see again. It's different this time. I can see it. It's not just Bryan's heart on the line anymore."

"What do I do?" I ask, ignoring the jealousy that creeps in at the mention of Gavin with other women.

"I can't tell you that. What I can tell you is that the longer you wait to break things off with Bryan, or Gavin- whichever you choose- the harder and messier it's going to be. My advice: make a choice now and stick with it."

I open my mouth to say more but then close it again when Kimber gestures behind me. I turn just in time to see Gavin slide in next to me, a bright pink drink garnished with pineapple and a cherry in one hand, his usual beer in the other.

"s.e.x on the Beach." He sets the drink in front of me before reclaiming his seat.

I immediately take a long drink, the cold, fruity liquid mildly soothing the uneasiness that has settled in my chest.