Covet - A Novel of Fallen Angel Part 27

Lifting an arm, he tried to touch her face, but the swirling winds of spring shifted the cloud cover, disappearing her lovely, tragic features.

He was going to find out who she was.

And he was going to do right by her.

Just as he had done right by his mother.

Those f.u.c.kers in that Camaro had been the first three men head killed.

aAre we done, children?a Eddie snapped. aOr do I need to spank your a.s.ses until itall be next winter before you can sit down again.a Jim tilted his head and glanced over at Adrian. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d looked no better than Jim felt.

aTruce?a the guy said through b.l.o.o.d.y lips.

Jim inhaled as deeply as he coulda"until pain stopped his ribs from expanding any more. Well, h.e.l.l. He might not be able to trust either one of them, but he needed helpa"and he had a tragic expertise in working with people who were s.h.i.ts.

aYeah,a he replied roughly. aTruce.a

CHAPTER 36.

aOkay, I love you. And Iall be home later tonight. Be good for Quinesha. What?a As Vin drove them over to the residential part of town, Marie-Terese listened to her son speak and got choked up. His voice was so near and so far. aYes. Yes, you may. I love you. Bye.a She hit the end b.u.t.ton on her phone and stared down at the screen, waiting for Vin to ask how the conversation had gone. It was something her ex had always done. Anytime she got on a phone, whether it was a telemarketer or the housekeeper or someone for him, Mark had had to know everything.

Except Vin didnat ask and didnat seem to be expecting her to fill him in. And the s.p.a.ce wasanice. She liked how it gave her the power to choose, and it spoke volumes about respect and trust and all those things she hadnat gotten the first time around.

Thank you, she wanted to say. Instead, she murmured, aHe wanted ice cream. Guess Iam a horrible mother, huh. Probably going to spoil his dinner. He eats early. At five.a Vinas hand covered hers. aYou are not a horrible mother. I can a.s.sure you.a As they went by a bus stop, she looked out of her window. The people standing in the Plexiglas box all stared at the M6 while Vin drove by, and when another group of pedestrians glanced over at the car a little later, she had a sense that everywhere Vin went, he drew eyes of envy and aweaand greed.

aMark liked nice cars, too,a she said for no particular reason. aHe was a Bentley man.a G.o.d, she could remember riding in those cars of his. Head gotten a new one every year as soon as the fresh models came out, and in the beginning, she had sat in the pa.s.senger seat beside him with her chin up and her hands stroking the leather. Back then, when people had stared, her chest had swelled with pride that the man who owned the car was hers, that she was a part of some exclusive club of luxury that barred everyone else, that she was a queen with her king.

Not anymore. Now she saw the ogling faces as nothing more than people caught up in a fantasy. Just because you could drive or sit in a fancy BMW didnat mean you had the winning lottery ticket in the life sweepstakes. Turned out she had been far, far happier when shead been on the hard sidewalk rather than the soft bucket seat.

Far better off, too, considering where shead ended up.

aBut I am a bad mother,a she murmured. aI lied to him. I had to.a aYou did what you needed to in order to survive.a aIam going to have to keep lying to him. I donat want him ever to know.a aAnd thereas no reason for him to.a Vin shook his head. aI think a parentas job is to protect their kids. Maybe itas old-school, but thatas the way I feel. Thereas no reason he has to go through what youave been suffering with. That youave had to deal with it is plenty.a The thought that had been percolating in her brain on and off since shead been with Vin the night before resurfaced. And she couldnat think of a reason not to say it out loud.

aI did something to survive, but sometimes I thinkaa She cleared her throat. aIam a college graduate. I have a degree in marketing. I could have gotten a job.a At least, theoretically she could have. One thing that had stopped her had been the fact that she hadnat been one hundred percent confident in her fake ID. If shead actually put in for real work, she wasnat sure whether her social security number would have come up as someone elseas.

But another driver of her choice had been something darker.

Vin shook his head. aYou canat look back and cross-examine everything. You did the best you could with where you werea"a aI think I wanted to punish myself,a she blurted. As he looked over, she met his eyes. aI blame myself for what my son was put through. I picked the wrong man to marry and that was my faulta"and I feel like my son suffered. Being with thoseamen. I hated it. I cried every night it was over and sometimes I was physically sick. I stayed with it for the money, trueabut I was hurting myself deliberately.a Vin took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it fiercely. aListen to me. Your ex was the a.s.shole in thisa"not you.a aI should have left him earlier.a aAnd youare free now. Youare free of him and youare not doing thataother s.h.i.t anymore. Youare free.a She stared out the front window. Except if that was true, then why did she feel so trapped still?

aYouave got to forgive yourself,a Vin said roughly. aThatas the only way youare going to get past this.a G.o.d, she was so self-involved, she thought. a.s.suming everything those men had said back at the duplex was truea"and given what shead seen in Devinaas eyes shead be an idiot to think otherwisea"Vin had just found out tonight that he all but murdered his own parents.

aYou, too.a She squeezed his hand. aYou need to do the same.a The grunt that he made was a stop sign and a half, and just as head respected her privacy, she respected his: As much as she wanted to get him to talk about that what head been told, she wasnat going to push.

Leaning her head back against the rest, she stared at him as he drove them along. He was quick and comfortable behind the wheel, his brows low and his lips tighter than usual as he concentrated.

She was so glad that shead met him. And grateful that head had faith in her when it had mattered so much.

aThank you,a she said.

He glanced over and smiled a little. aWhat for.a aYou believed me. Instead of her.a aOf course I did.a His answer was just as steady as his hand on the wheel, and for some reason that made her tear up.

aWhy are you crying?a He pushed a hand into his jacket and took out a pristine white handkerchief. aHere. Oh, love, donat cry.a aIall be fine. And better to get the leaks now instead of later.a After wiping her cheeks with her fingertips, she took the super-soft, super-thin linen square and spread it flat on her lap. She had some mascara on still from how shead made herself up for church, and she wasnat about to mar the delicate cloth by actually using ita"and yet she liked having the thing. Liked running her finger back and forth over the raised st.i.tching of his monogram, VSdP.

aWhy are you crying?a he repeated gently.

aBecause youare amazing.a She touched the V that was done in block font. aAnd because when you say things like you love me I believe you, and it terrifies me.a She touched the S. aAnd because Iave hated myself for so much, but when you look at me, I donat feel like Iam so dirty.a Finally, she touched the dP for his last name. aMostly, though, itas because you make me look forward to the future, and I havenat done that in forever.a aYou can trust me.a His hand found hers again. aAnd as for your past, itas not what youave donea"itas who you are. To me, thatas all that matters.a She wiped more tears away as she stared across the seats at him, and though his handsome face went blurry, she was getting to know his features by heart, so it didnat matter.

aYou really should use my handkerchief.a aI donat want to mess it up.a aI have plenty of others.a She looked down at his initials again. aWhat does the S stand for?a aSean. My middle name is Sean. Mother was Irish.a aReally?a Marie-Tereseas eyes watered even more. aThatas my sonas real name.a aYou two a.s.sholes stay here.a Eddie slammed the driveras-side door so hard, the whole truck rocked, and as the guy stalked over to the Hannafordas entrance, people went out of their way to get out of his.

Jimas b.a.l.l.s still hurt. Bad. Kinda felt like head rolled aem in cut gla.s.sa"all tingling and painful at the same time.

On the seat next to him, Adrian was rubbing his shoulder, his expression one of disgust. ab.a.s.t.a.r.d telling us to stay here. What the h.e.l.la"like heas grounding us? f.u.c.k him.a Jim stared out his window and watched as a mother with a baby in her arms walked by the truck, got a look at his face, and shied away. aI donat think weare fit for visual consumption.a Adrian reached up and cranked the rearview mirror his way. aWhatever, Iam gorgeousa"wow. Iaa aLook like s.h.i.t,a Jim finished. aBut at least you could walk straight if you had to. Did you have to go for the jewels?a Adrian prodded his nose. aI think you broke this.a aAnd now Iam probably shooting blanks for the rest of my life. At least your swellingas going to go away.a Adrian leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. In concert, both of them took a deep breath.

aYou can trust me, Jim.a aTrust isnat something you can cold lab. It has to be earned.a aThen thatas what Iam going to do.a As Jim made a noncommittal noise, he shifted delicately in the seat and his anads didnat appreciate the repositioning. After he negotiated a comfortable arrangement, he went back to watching the people in the parking lot. There was a predictable rhythm of them getting out of their cars, going into the store, and returning with filled carts or a couple of bags hanging from their hands. Witnessing it all, he was struck by how great the divide was between him and the rest of the planet. And not just because he was now playing in a paranormal game most of these fine patrons of the supermarket wouldnat have believed was real.

Head always been separate. Ever since head found his mother on that kitchen floor, it was as if his root system had been plucked out of the soil and carried across the road to another plot of earth. His job hadnat helped. His personality hadnat either. And now he was seated beside a fallen angel who might or might not actually existawho fought dirty.

s.h.i.t, it didnat matter if he was sterile. He was never getting a shot at having kids now, and keeping his c.r.a.ppy DNA out of the gene pool was no doubt the nicest thing head ever do for the human race.

About ten minutes later, Eddie emerged with a cart full of plastic bags, and as he pulled up to the bed and started transferring the s.h.i.t, Jim couldnat stand his own thoughts anymore and got out to help: All the mommies and dear little kiddies were just going to have to suck it up if they didnat like the way he looked.

Eddie didnat say one word as they worked together, which was a clear indication that whereas Jim and Adrian had kind of made up, Eddie was not on the ak.u.mbayaa train. Frankly, he looked like head had it with everything and everyone.

And no offense, the guy had one bizarre frickina grocery list.

There were enough containers of Morton salt to deice a highway. Countless bottles of hydrogen peroxide and witch hazel. Vinegar by the gallon. Lemons. Fresh sage packed in see-through boxes.

And four huge cans of Dinty Moore beef stew?

aWhat the h.e.l.l,a Jim asked, aare we going to do with all this?a aPlenty.a It took them about fifteen minutes to get back out to Jimas place, and the silence was a little less tense. As they pulled up to the garage, Dogas face parted the curtains at the big window.

aYou need the stuff to come up?a Jim asked as everybody got out.

aJust one bag, and Iall get it.a Jim hit the stairs with his keys in his hand, and the second he unlocked the door, Dog was all about the OMG-youare-backs, running around in circles on the landing with his tail going propeller.

When Jim glanced down over his shoulder, he frowned and patted the dog absently. On the driveway below, Eddie and Adrian were standing close together and Eddie was shaking his head and talking as Adrian focused on a point by the guyas left eara"like head heard it all before and hadnat been interested the first time.

Eventually, Eddie grabbed the guyas neck and forced some eye contact. Adrianas lips moved briefly and Eddie squeezed his eyes shut.

After they embraced for a quick moment, Adrian roared off on his Harley.

With a curse, Eddie grabbed a bag from the truck bed and clomped up the stairs. aYour stove work?a the guy asked as he came inside and Dog circled and wagged at his feet.

aYup.a Ten minutes later he and Eddie were sitting down to two huge bowls of stewa"which explained the Dinty Moore.

aHavenat had this for years,a Jim said as he spooned up.

aGot to feed yourself.a aWhatad you say to Adrian?a aNone of your business.a Jim shook his head. aSorry, wrong answer. Iam part of this team, and I think considering the amount of s.h.i.t you two know about me, itas time to start returning the f.u.c.king favor.a Eddie smiled tightly. aItas a marvel the pair of you donat get along better.a aMaybe we would if you guys would talk to me.a The long quiet that followed went unbroken until Eddie put his bowl down so Dog could go to work with what had been left.

aThere are three things I know about Adrian,a the guy said. aOne, he will always do exactly what he wants, when he wants to. Thereas no chance of reasoning with him or changing his mind. Two, he will fight until he cannot stand for something he believes in. And three, fallen angels donat last forever.a Jim eased back in his chair. aI wondered about that.a aYeah, weare not infinitea"just relatively so. And that canat be ignored when it comes to him.a aWhy?a aDeath wish. One of these daysahis luckas going to run out and weare going to lose him.a Eddie slowly stroked Dogas back. aIave shared a lot with that b.a.s.t.a.r.d over the years. Known him better than anyone, and Iam probably the only person who can really work with him. When he goes up in flames, itas going to kill mea.a Eddie didnat go on, but he didnat have to.

Jim had lost a partner once, too, and that s.h.i.t sucked the will to live right out of you.

aWhatas he going to do with Devina tonight?a There wasnat even a pause on that one: aYou donat want to know.a

CHAPTER 37.

Before Vin had left the duplex, head packed a quick semi-picnic for him and Marie-Terese, and the remnants of it were scattered across the chipped table in his familyas old kitchen: The tinfoil that had been around the sandwiches and the c.o.kes that were now mostly empty and the bag of Cape Cod potato chips theyad shared were going to be quick to clean up.

Dessert was the single Granny Smith apple head had at his place, and head been cutting off pieces of it and alternating one to her, one to himself. At this point, the thing was more core than apple, and as he cleaved the last viable slice from around the seeds, it was going to her.

For no apparent reason, he thought about what head said to Marie-Terese: Itas not what youave donea"itas who you are.

He was very sure that was true about heraand also clear that it didnat apply to him in the slightest. The way head been living his life had been exactly who he wasa"a money-hungry b.a.s.t.a.r.d with absolutely no conscience.

But like her, he was leaving his old life behind. He still had the drive deep in his guta"except now he saw it as a problem, not something to act on. And the trouble was, he had no idea what form the future was going to take.

aHere, have the last piece.a He took the slice from the blade of his knife and offered it across the table. aI cut it carefully.a She reached out her lovely hand and accepted what he wanted to give her. aThank you.a As she ate the thing, he cleaned up, gathering the debris, stuffing it back into the Whole Foods bag head brought it in.

aWhen are they coming?a she asked.

aOne hour after sunset, they said. This kind of stuff always seems to happen in the dark.a She smiled a little and wiped her mouth with a paper napkin. Leaning to the side, she looked out of the window, her hair swinging loose off her shoulder and bouncing. aStill pretty light.a aYeah.a As he looked around, he imagined what the place could be like. Granite countertops. Stainless-steel appliances. Bust out the wall to the right and throw up an addition to make a family room. Rip out all the carpets. Paint. Wallpaper. Face-lift the s.h.i.t out of the baths.

Young family would be happy here.

aCome with me,a he said, holding out his hand.

Marie-Terese put her palm in his. aWhere to?a aOutside.a He took her through the garage and into the backyarda"which was hardly a showpiece. The lawn was about as attractive as an old manas beard, and the oak in the back looked like the skeletal remains of a once gracious treea"but at least the temperature wasnat as cold as it had been.

Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her close and gently closed her eyes with the tips of his fingers. aI want you to imagine weare on a beach.a aA beach.a Her lips lifted.

aFlorida. Mexico. South of France. California. Anywhere you like.a She put her head on his chest. aOkay.a aThe color of the skyas changing to peach and gold and the sea is calm and blue.a Vin focused on the setting sun as he spoke to her, trying to picture it going behind the horizon of the ocean instead of the asphalt roof of the ranch house next door.

Vin started to move, shifting his weight from side to side, and she followed his cue, swaying in his arms.

aThe air is soft and warm.a He put his chin on the top of her head. aAnd the waves are doing that thing on the sand, up and back, up and back. Palm trees are all around.a He rubbed her shoulders, hoping that she saw what he was describing, hoping she was lifted out of where they really were: the c.r.a.ppy-a.s.s backyard of a s.h.i.tty little house in chilly Caldwell, New York.

Closest sh.o.r.eline they had was rocky and on a river.

He closed his own eyes and just felt the woman he held, and what do you know: she was what transformed his landscape, not his words. For him, she was the reason he was warm.

aYouare a wonderful dancer,a she said into his chest.

aAm I?a When she nodded, he felt it on his pec. aWell, thatas because I have a good partner.a They moved together until light began to bleed out of the sky and the temperature dropped too far. As Vin stopped, Marie-Terese lifted her head and looked up at him.

When he put his hand on her face and just stared at her, she whispered, aYes.a He led her back into the house and up to his bedroom. When he closed the door, he leaned against it and watched her as she took her fleece off over her head and then unb.u.t.toned her simple white shirt. Her bra was next, which meant that as she bent down to shuck off her jeans, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s swayed.

Vin had been hard before she started to undress, but the sight of her so natural and beautiful made him strain against his slacks.

And yet this was not about s.e.x.

When she stood before him naked, he came at her slowly and kissed her long and deep. Her body beneath his hands was warm and supple, so small and smooth compared to his owna"and he loved the contrast and the cushion of her. Loved the way she smelled and tasted.

Capturing her b.r.e.a.s.t.s in his palms, he took one nipple between his lips to suck while he rubbed the other with his thumb, and as she arched against him, his name came out of her mouth in a rush.

Man, he loved the way that sounded.

With his free hand, he stroked her thigh and moved behind, sliding between her legs.

She was oh, so ready for him. Slick and hot.

Cursing under his breath, he carried her to his old bed and laid her out. A moment later, he was naked as the day he was born and he stretched himself beside her, tucking his c.o.c.k up onto his stomach as he brought their hips together.

More kissing. Hands on his skin. Hers.

Hands between her legs. His.

Marie-Terese ended up on top, her thighs split over his hips, her s.e.x parted for him. After he was covered by a condom, she covered him in a slow, devastating decent that robbed him of breath and sense. In response, he jacked into an arch, his back curling up off the bed, the shift pushing him even deeper.

Planting her palms on his shoulders, she braced herself and swung her hips up and back, falling into a shattering rhythm.

As Marie-Terese took him, he was more than willing to give her anything she wanted of him. He was panting and desperate underneath her as her body worked his to perfection.

With her lids down low as she watched him, her eyes were like blue fire.

But they consumed him without any pain.

aThis is Vinas address.a As Eddie pointed to a Happy Meala"sized house on the right, Jim pulled the truck over and put it in park. Out of habit, he scoped the area. Typical lower-middle-cla.s.s residential neighborhood, with cars mostly in their driveways, street lamps every twenty yards, and lights coming on in small-scale family rooms and kitchens. No pedestrians because everyone was in for the night. Not a lot of cover because the bushes and the trees were leafless.

As he and Eddie got out and hit the bag stash in the back, the glooming light turned everything into a variation of gray, the landscape like a black-and-white photograph.

Vinas BMW was in the drive, and there were lights on inside, so as they came up to the front door, they knocked. The response was an immediate holler from upstairs, but it took a while before they were let in, and the reason why was pretty clear: Vinas hair obviously had had fingers running through it, and his cheeks were flushed.