Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 92

THE PRINCESS. [_Quickly._] Yes--yes, of course.

STRuBEL. And of course you drink the waters down below?

THE PRINCESS. [_In a friendly way._] Oh, yes, I drink the waters. And I'm taking the baths, too.

STRuBEL. Two hundred metres up and down every time! Isn't that very hard on you? Heavens! And you look so pale! See here, my dear young lady, don't you do it. It would be better for you to go down there--that is--{s.p.a.cE}Oh, forgive me! I've been talking without thinking. Of course, you have your own reasons--{s.p.a.cE}It's decidedly cheaper up here. _I_ know how to value a thing of that sort. I've never had any money in all my life!

THE PRINCESS. [_Trying to seem practical._] But when one comes to a watering-place, one must have money.

STRuBEL. [_Slapping himself on the chest._] Do I look to you as if I drank iron? Thank Heaven, I can't afford such luxuries! No; I'm only a poor fellow who earns his miserable pittance during vacation by acting as a private tutor--that's to say, "miserable" is only a figure of speech, for in the morning I lie abed until nine, at noon I eat five and at night seven courses; and as for work, I really haven't a thing to do!

My pupil is so anaemic--why, compared to him, _you're_ fit for a circus rider!

THE PRINCESS. [_Laughing unrestrainedly._] Oh, well, I'm rather glad I'm not one.

STRuBEL. Dear me, it's a business like any other.

THE PRINCESS. Like any other? Really, I didn't think that.

STRuBEL. And pray, what did you think then?

THE PRINCESS. Oh, I thought that they were--an entirely different sort of people.

STRuBEL. My dear young lady, all people are "an entirely different sort." Of course _we_ two aren't. We get along real well together, don't we? As poor as church mice, both of us!

THE PRINCESS. [_Smiling reflectively._] Who knows? Perhaps that's true.

STRuBEL. [_Kindly._] Do you know what? If you want to stay down there--I'll tell you how one can live cheaply. I have a friend, a student like myself. He's here to mend up as you are. I feed him up at the house where I'm staying. [_Frightened at a peculiar look of_ THE PRINCESS'S.] Oh, but you mustn't be--No, I shouldn't have said it. It wasn't decent of me. Only, let me tell you, I'm so glad to be able to help the poor fellow out of my unexpected earnings, that I'd like to be shouting it from the housetops all the time! Of course, you understand that, don't you?

THE PRINCESS. You like to help people, then?

STRuBEL. Surely--don't you?

THE PRINCESS. [_Reflecting._] No. There's always so much talk about it, and the whole thing immediately appears in the newspapers.

STRuBEL. What? If you help some one, that appears----?

THE PRINCESS. [_Quietly correcting herself._] I only mean if one takes part in entertainments for charity----

STRuBEL. Oh, yes, naturally. In those things they always get some woman of rank to act as patroness, if they can, and she sees to it, you may be sure, that the newspapers make a fuss over it.

THE PRINCESS. [_Demurely._] Oh, not every----

STRuBEL. Just try to teach me something I don't know about these t.i.tled women! Besides, my dear young lady, where is your home--in one of the large cities, or----?

THE PRINCESS. Oh, no. In quite a small town--really more like the country.

STRuBEL. Then I'm going to show you something that you probably never saw before in all your life.

THE PRINCESS. Oh do! What is it?

STRuBEL. A princess! H'm--not a make-believe, but a real, true-blue princess!

THE PRINCESS. Oh, really?

STRuBEL. Yes. Our Princess of the Springs.

THE PRINCESS. And who may that be?

STRuBEL. Why, Princess Marie Louise.

THE PRINCESS. Of Geldern?

STRuBEL. Of course.

THE PRINCESS. Do you know her?

STRuBEL. Why, certainly.

THE PRINCESS. Really? I thought that she lived in great retirement.

STRuBEL. Well, that doesn't do her any good. Not a bit of it. And because you are such a jolly good fellow I'm going to tell you my secret. I'm in love with this princess!

THE PRINCESS. Oh!

STRuBEL. You can't imagine what a comfort it is. The fact is, every young poet has got to have a princess to love.

THE PRINCESS. Are you a poet?

STRuBEL. Can't you tell that by looking at me?

THE PRINCESS. I never saw a poet before.

STRuBEL. Never saw a poet--never saw a princess! Why, you're learning a heap of things to-day!

THE PRINCESS. [_a.s.senting._] H'm--and have you written poems to her?

STRuBEL. Why, that goes without saying! Quant.i.ties of 'em!

THE PRINCESS. Oh, please recite some little thing--won't you?

STRuBEL. No, not yet. Everything at the proper time.

THE PRINCESS. Ah, yes, first I should like to see the princess.

STRuBEL. No, first I am going to tell you the whole story.

THE PRINCESS. Oh, yes, yes. Please do. [_Sits down._

STRuBEL. Well, then--I had hardly heard that she was here before I was dead in love with her. It was just as quick as a shot, I tell you. Just as if I had waited all my life long to fall in love with her. Besides, I also heard about her beauty--and her sorrow. You see, she had an early love affair.