Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 81

He who would enter in, _Jump_ he must over us.

Ho-ho-ho! O Holy Dollar! O Almighty Ruler of the World!... O King of Kings! Ha-ha-ha!... Don't you all think if I have the dollar and you have it not that I partake a bit of its majesty? That means that I am now a part of its majesty. That means that I am the Almighty Dollar's plenipotentiary, and therefore I am the Almighty Ruler himself. On your knees before me!... He-he-he!...

COMEDIAN. [_After throwing away the empty flask, lies down on the gra.s.s._] Well roared, lion, but you forgot to hide your jack-a.s.s's ears.

VILLAIN. It is one's consciousness of power. He-he-he. I know and you know that if I have the money I have the say. Remember, none of you has a cent to his name. The whiskey is gone. [_Picking up the flask and examining it._

COMEDIAN. I did my job well. Drank it to the last drop.

VILLAIN. Yes, to the last drop. This evening you shall have bread and sausage. Very small portions, too, for to-morrow is another day.

[INGENUE _sobbing more frequently_.] Not till the day after to-morrow shall we reach town, and that doesn't mean that you get anything to eat there, either, but I--I--I--he-he-he. O Holy Dollar, Almighty Dollar!

[_Gravely._] He who does my bidding shall not be without food.

COMEDIAN. [_With wide-open eyes._] What? Ha-ha-ha!

[INGENUE _gets up and throws herself on the_ VILLAIN'S _bosom_.

INGENUE. Oh, my dear beloved one.

VILLAIN. Ha-ha, my power already makes itself felt.

HEROINE. [_Pushing the_ INGENUE _away_.] Let go of him, you. He sought my love for a long time and now he shall have it.

COMEDIAN. What? You!

HEROINE. [_To_ COMEDIAN.] I hate you, traitor. [_To the_ VILLAIN.] I have always loved--genius. You are now the wisest of the wise. I adore you.

VILLAIN. [_Holding_ INGENUE _in one arm_.] Come into my other arm.

[HEROINE, _throwing herself into his arms, kissing and embracing him_.

COMEDIAN. [_Half rising on his knees._] Stop, I protest. [_Throwing himself on the gra.s.s._] "O frailty, thy name is woman."

"OLD WOMAN." [_Approaching the_ VILLAIN _from behind and embracing him_.] Find a little spot on your bosom for me. I play the "Old Woman,"

but you know I'm not really old.

VILLAIN. Now I have all of power and all of love.

COMEDIAN. Don't call it love. Call it servility.

VILLAIN. [_Freeing himself from the women._] But now I have something more important to carry out. My va.s.sals--I mean you all--I have decided we will not stay here over night. We will proceed further.

WOMEN. How so?

VILLAIN. We go forward to-night.

COMEDIAN. You have so decided?

VILLAIN. I have so decided, and that in itself should be enough for you; but due to an old habit I shall explain to you why I have so decided.

COMEDIAN. Keep your explanation to yourself and better not disturb my contemplation of the sunset.

VILLAIN. I'll put you down on the blacklist. It will go ill with you for your speeches against me. Now, then, _without_ an explanation, we will go--and at once. [_n.o.body stirs._] Very well, then, I go alone.

WOMEN. No, no.

VILLAIN. What do you mean?

INGENUE. I go with you.

HEROINE. And I.

"OLD WOMAN." And I.

VILLAIN. Your loyalty gratifies me very much.

"OLD MAN." [_Who is sitting apathetically upon the trunk._] What the deuce is urging you to go?

VILLAIN. I wanted to explain to you, but now no more. I owe you no explanations. I have decided--I wish to go, and that is sufficient.

COMEDIAN. He plays his comedy wonderfully. Would you ever have suspected that there was so much wit in his cabbage head?

WOMEN. [_Making love to the_ VILLAIN.] Oh, you darling.

TRAGEDIAN. [_Majestically._] I wouldn't give him even a single glance.

VILLAIN. Still another on the blacklist. I'll tell you this much--I have decided----

COMEDIAN. Ha-ha-ha! How long will you keep this up?

VILLAIN. We start at once, but if I am to pay for your food I will not carry any baggage. You shall divide my bundles among you and of course those who are on the blacklist will get the heaviest share. You heard me. Now move on. I'm going now. We will proceed to the nearest town, which is thirty miles away. Now, then, I am off.

COMEDIAN. Bon voyage.

VILLAIN. And with me fares His Majesty the Dollar and your meals for to-morrow.

WOMEN. We are coming, we are coming.

"OLD MAN." I'll go along.

TRAGEDIAN. [_To the_ VILLAIN.] You're a scoundrel and a mean fellow.

VILLAIN. I am no fellow of yours. I am master and bread-giver.

TRAGEDIAN. I'll crush you in a moment.

VILLAIN. What? You threaten me! Let's go.