Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 45

MRS. BAUER. [_Turning on him fiercely._] Why not? [_In an undertone._]

You talk that way before your little brother.--Have you no sense?

FRITZI. [_Beginning to whimper._] I d-d-d-on't want to go to school this afternoon.

MRS. BAUER. You just go 'long to school and mind your own business.

KARL _and_ FRITZI. [_Together._] But the boys....

MRS. BAUER. They ain't a-goin' to keep it up forever. Don't you answer them. Just go 'long together and pay no attention.

KARL. Then they get fresher and fresher.

FRITZI. [_Echoing_ KARL.] Yes, then they get fresher and fresher.

[MRS. BAUER _begins to take up the dinner. The sound of footfalls just outside the door is heard._

MRS. BAUER. Go on now, hang up your caps and get ready for your dinners.

FRITZI. I'm going to tell my papa. [_Goes to inner door._

MRS. BAUER. For G.o.d's sake, Fritzi, shut up. You mustn't tell no one.

Papa'd be disgraced all over.

KARL. [_Coming up to her._] Disgraced?

MRS. BAUER. Hush!

KARL. Why disgraced?

MRS. BAUER. Because there's liars, low-down, snoopin' liars in the world.

KARL. Who's lied, mama?

MRS. BAUER. The janitress across the street.

KARL. Mrs. Nies?

FRITZI. [_Calling out._] Henny Nies is a tough.

MRS. BAUER. [_Looking toward the outer door anxiously and shaking her head threateningly at_ FRITZI.] I give you somethin' if you don't stop hollerin' out like that.

KARL. Who'd she lie to?

MRS. BAUER. Never mind. Go 'long now. It's time you begin to eat.

KARL. What'd she lie about?

MRS. BAUER. [_Warningly._] S-s-sh! Papa'll be comin' in now in a minute.

KARL. It was Henny Nies set the gang on to us. I coulda licked them all if I hadn't had to take care of Fritzi.

MRS. BAUER. You'll get a lickin' all right if you don't keep away from Henny Nies.

KARL. Well--if they call me names--and say _my_ father's been to the station-house for killing a cat...?

FRITZI. Miau! Miau! Miau!

MRS. BAUER. Hold your mouth.

FRITZI. [_Swaggering._] My father never was in jail--was he, mama?

KARL. Course not.

MRS. BAUER. [_To_ FRITZI.] Go, wash your hands, Fritzi.

[_She steers him to the door of the inner room. He exits._

MRS. BAUER. [_Distressed._] Karl ...

KARL. [_Turning to his mother._] Was he, mama?

MRS. BAUER. Papa don't act like he used to. Sometimes I wonder what's come over him. Of course it's enough to ruin any man's temper, all the trouble we've had.

CHORUS OF VOICES. [_From the area by the window._] Who killed the cat!

Who killed the cat!

[_Sound of feet clattering up the area steps._ FRITZI _rushes in, flourishing a revolver_.

FRITZI. I shoot them, mama.

MRS. BAUER. [_Grabbing the revolver._] _Mein Gott!_ Fritzi! Papa's pistol! [_She examines it carefully._] You ever touch that again and I'll ... [_She menaces him._

FRITZI. [_Sulkily._] I'll save up my money and buy me one.

MRS. BAUER. [_Smiling a little to herself._] I see you buyin' one.

[_Carries revolver into inner room._

FRITZI. [_In a loud, voice and as though shooting at_ KARL.] Bang! Bang!

Bang!

[KARL _strikes at_ FRITZI; FRITZI _dodges_.

KARL. [_To his mother as she re-enters._] Trouble with Fritzi is he don't mind me any more.

MRS. BAUER. You wash your dirty hands and face this minute--d'you hear me, Fritzi!

FRITZI. [_Looking at his hands._] That's ink-stains. I got the highest mark in spelling to-day. Capital H-e-n-n-y, capital N-i-e-s--Henny Nies, a b.u.m.