Composition-Rhetoric Part 39

If the peculiarities of an object are such as to effect its general form, they need to be stated in the opening sentence; but when the peculiar or distinguishing characteristic does not affect the form, it may be introduced later. If we say, "On the corner across the street from the post office there is a large, two-story, red brick store," the reader can form at once a general picture of such a store. Only those things which give a general outline have been included. As yet nothing has been mentioned to distinguish the store from any other similar one. If some following sentence should be, "Though not wider, it yet presents a more imposing appearance than its neighbors, because the door is placed at one side, thus making room for a single wide display window instead of two stuffy, narrow ones," a detail has been added which, though not changing the general outline, makes the picture clearer and at the same time emphasizes the distinguishing feature of this particular store.

EXERCISES

1. Observe your neighbor's barn. What would you select as its characteristic feature?

2. Take a rapid glance at some stranger whom you meet. What did you notice most vividly?

3. In what respect does the Methodist church in your city differ from the other church buildings?

4. Does your pet dog differ from others of the same breed in appearance?

In actions?

+Theme LV.+--_Write a descriptive paragraph, using one of the following subjects:_--

1. A mountain view.

2. An omnibus.

3. A fort.

4. A lighthouse.

5. A Dutch windmill.

6. A bend in the river.

7. A peculiar structure.

8. The picture on this page.

(Underscore the sentence that pictures the details most essential to the description. Consider the unity of your paragraph. Section 81.)

[Ill.u.s.tration]

+128. Selection and Subordination of Minor Details.+--In many descriptions the minor details are wholly omitted, and in all descriptions many that might have been included have been omitted. A proper number of such details adds interest and clearness to the images; too many but serve to render the whole obscure. If properly selected and effectively presented, minor details add much to the beauty or usefulness of a description, but if strung together in short sentences, the effect may be both tiresome and confusing. A mere catalogue of facts is not a good description. They must be arranged so that those which are the more important shall have the greater prominence, while those of less importance shall be properly subordinated.

Often minor details may be stated in a word or phrase inserted in the sentence which gives the general view. Notice the italicized portion of the following: "Opposite the church, _and partly screened by the scraggly evergreens of a broad, unkempt lawn_, there is a large, octagonal, brick house, with a conservatory on the left." This arrangement adds to the general view and gives a better result than would be obtained by describing the lawn in a separate sentence. Often a single adjective adds some element to a description more effectively than can be done with a whole sentence. Notice how much is added by the use of _scraggly_ and _unkempt_.

EXERCISES

Make a careful study of the following selections with reference to the way in which the minor details are presented. Can any of them be improved by re-arranging them?

1. At night, as I look from my windows over Ka.s.sim Pasha, I never tire of that dull, soft coloring, green and brown, in which the brown of roofs and walls is hardly more than a shading of the green of the trees. There is the lonely curve of the hollow, with its small, square, flat houses of wood; and above, a sharp line of blue-black cypresses on the spine of the hill; then the long desert plain, with its sandy road, shutting in the horizon. Mists thicken over the valley, and wipe out its colors before the lights begin to glimmer out of it. Below, under my windows, are the cypresses of the Little Field of the Dead, vast, motionless, different every night. Last night each stood clear, tall, apart; to-night they huddle together in the mist, and seem to shudder. The sunset was brief, and the water has grown dull, like slate. Stamboul fades to a level ma.s.s of smoky purple, out of which a few minarets rise black against a gray sky with bands of orange fire. Last night, after a golden sunset, a fog of rusty iron came down, and hung poised over the jagged level of the hill.

The whole ma.s.s of Stamboul was like black smoke; the water dim gray, a little flushed, and then like pure light, lucid, transparent, every ship and every boat sharply outlined in black on its surface; the boats seemed to crawl like flies on a lighted pane.

--Arthur Symons: _Constantinople: An Impression_ ("Harper's").

2. The boy was advancing up the road, carrying a half-filled pail of milk.

He was a child of perhaps ten years, exceedingly frail and thin, with a drawn, waxen face, and sick, colorless lips and ears. On his head he wore a thick plush cap, and coa.r.s.e, heavy shoes upon his feet. A faded coat, too long in the arms, drooped from his shoulders, and long, loose overalls of gray jeans broke and wrinkled about his slender ankles.

--George Kibbe Turner: _Across the State_ ("McClure's").

3. They met few people abroad, even on pa.s.sing from the retired neighborhood of the House of the Seven Gables into what was ordinarily the more thronged and busier portion of the town. Glistening sidewalks, with little pools of rain, here and there, along their unequal surface; umbrellas displayed ostentatiously in the shop windows, as if the life of trade had concentered itself in that one article; wet leaves of the horse-chestnut or elm trees, torn off untimely by the blast, and scattered along the public way; an unsightly acc.u.mulation of mud in the middle of the street, which perversely grew the more unclean for its long and laborious washing;--these were the more definable points of a very somber picture. In the way of movement, and human life, there was the hasty rattle of a cab or coach, its driver protected by a water-proof cap over his head and shoulders; the forlorn figure of an old man, who seemed to have crept out of some subterranean sewer, and was stooping along the kennel, and poking the wet rubbish with a stick, in quest of rusty nails; a merchant or two, at the door of the post office, together with an editor, and a miscellaneous politician, awaiting a dilatory mail; a few visages of retired sea captains at the window of an insurance office, looking out vacantly at the vacant street, blaspheming at the weather, and fretting at the dearth as well of public news as local gossip. What a treasure trove to these venerable quidnuncs, could they have guessed the secret which Hepzibah and Clifford were carrying along with them!

--Hawthorne: _The House of the Seven Gables_.

+Theme LVI.+--_Write a description of one of the following:_--

1. A steamboat.

2. An orchard.

3. A colonial mansion.

4. A wharf.

5. A stone quarry.

6. A shop.

(Consider what you have written with reference to the point of view, fundamental image, and essential details. After these have been arranged to suit you, notice the way in which the minor details have been introduced. Have you given undue prominence to any? Can a single adjective or phrase be subst.i.tuted for a whole sentence? Think of the image which your words will produce in the mind of the reader. Consider your theme with reference to unity. Section 81.)

+129. Arrangement of Details.+--The quality of a description depends as much upon the arrangement of the material as upon the selection. Under paragraph development we have discussed the necessity of arranging the details with reference to their natural position in s.p.a.ce (see Sections 47 and 86). Such an arrangement is the most desirable one and should be departed from only with good reason. Such departures may, however, be made, as shown in the following selection:--

A pretty picture the lad made as he lay there dreaming over his earthly possessions--a pretty picture in the shade of the great elm, that sultry morning of August, three quarters of a century ago. The presence of the crutch showed there was something sad about it; and so there was; for if you had glanced at the little bare brown foot, set toes upward on the curbstone, you would have discovered that the fellow to it was missing-- cut off about two inches above the ankle. And if this had caused you to throw a look of sympathy at his face, something yet sadder must long have held your attention. Set jauntily on the back of his head was a weather-beaten dark blue cloth cap, the patent leather frontlet of which was gone; and beneath the ragged edge of this there fell down over his forehead and temples and ears a tangled ma.s.s of soft yellow hair, slightly curling. His eyes were large and of a blue to match the depths of a calm sky above the treetops: the long lashes which curtained them were brown; his lips were red, his nose delicate and fine, and his cheek tanned to the color of ripe peaches. It was a singularly winning face, intelligent, frank, not describable. On it now rested a smile, half joyous, half sad, as though his mind was full of bright hopes, the realization of which was far away. From the neck fell the wide collar of a white cotton shirt, clean but frayed at the elbows, and open and b.u.t.tonless down to his bosom.

Over this he wore an old-fashioned satin waistcoat of a man, also frayed and b.u.t.tonless. His dress was completed by a pair of baggy tow breeches, held up by a single tow suspender fastened to big brown horn b.u.t.tons.

--James Lane Allen: _Flute and Violin_.

(Copyright, 1892, Harper and Brothers.)

The details are not stated with reference to their natural position in s.p.a.ce, but they are given in the probable order of observation. If we were to look upon such a boy, the crutch would attract our attention and would lead us to look at once for the reason why a crutch was needed. The writer skillfully uses the sympathy thus aroused as a means of transition to the face. In the remainder of the description the natural position in s.p.a.ce is closely followed.

+Theme LVII.+-_Write a description of one of the following:_--

1. The bayou.

2. Looking down the mountain.

3. Looking up the mountain.

4. The floorwalker.

5. An old-fashioned rig.

6. A house said to be haunted.

7. The deacon.

(Consider the arrangement of details with reference to their position in s.p.a.ce. Consider your paragraphs with reference to coherence and emphasis.

Sections 82 and 83.)