Come Rain Or Shine Part 13

"You go on to work," she said, squeezing his hand. "I need to do this alone."

Silas frowned in disapproval and pulled her away from them. "Emmie, you are going to be upset. Whatever she has to tell you isn't going to have a happy ending. We already know that."

Emmie nodded. She heard the truth in his words. "I know, but I can do this."

"I know you can, but you don't have to do it alone," he said.

"I won't be alone. I've got to figure out how to be a family with them. I'm not alone in this. I'm sure I'll need you later to wade through the pieces of what I'm getting ready to learn, and I'm counting on you for that," she said, hoping he understood.

Silas rubbed his chin and nodded in agreement. "If you decide you want me to take you home, have them bring you to my office."

Emmie made herself smile. "Thank you, Silas."

He didn't say a word; he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

It was stone silent as they walked out of the apartment building and parted ways.

Chapter Twenty-six.

They walked several blocks in silence. The streets were crowded. She had no problem with the walking; it was the pace that bothered her. Walking this fast, made it difficult to keep up. Mrs. Del Grande's silver hair was deceiving. She was younger than she appeared and moved with ease through the overcrowded streets. Gabe grabbed Emmie's elbow to be sure they weren't separated. If she were left alone now she would have no idea where she was.

After traveling down a few more streets, they moved into a less crowded area. Mrs. Del Grande paused in front of an old apartment building. It wasn't as fancy as Silas's, but it wasn't shabby either. The older woman put her finger up and counted to herself before turning to Emmie.

"Do you see the first window on the far right corner of the building, counting up three floors?" she asked.

Emmie nodded, following her gaze.

"That's where you lived with your mother after you were born. You lived there until you were just over a year old, and she took you back to Kentucky," Mrs. Del Grande said.

Emmie felt her heart sink in her chest. She had lived here. She looked around the unfamiliar streets that had once been her home and felt her eyes p.r.i.c.k with tears she refused to let fall down her cheeks. Glancing at Gabe she noticed he was no longer looking at the apartment. His eyes were focused on another building farther down the street.

His mother walked over and wrapped her hands around his. "I'm sorry, Gabe."

"All this time our past has been two buildings away and you never told me? I must have pa.s.sed by this building everyday and no one ever said a word," Gabe said angrily. He turned to Emmie. "I grew up right there. I could throw a stone and hit your building."

Emmie knew there were things she should be saying. Questions she should be asking but she couldn't find the words.

"I know, son. You have a right to your anger. But you have to know, we were all just doing what we thought was best," she said quietly.

Gabe swallowed hard and nodded. Emmie could see there were more words on his tongue but he kept them inside just like she did. Mrs. Del Grande looked at Emmie. "Marco tried to make it work. He thought you would need to be close to him and Gabe. Your mother did a lot for Gabe too, when she first moved here."

Emmie had to stop her mouth from dropping open. Emmie's mother had helped care for Gabe? That didn't make sense. She wasn't their nanny. Marco and her mother had met in Kentucky, hadn't they? Emmie didn't know much about her mother's family, but she did know they were from Kentucky.

There was something else about Mrs. Del Grande's words that were strange. She had said they had lived in this building to be closer to Marco and Gabe. She'd left herself completely out of the picture. Emmie frowned and turned to face the woman.

"Did you not care that my mother was living so close and helping to care for your son?" She knew it wasn't a kind question to ask the woman but she had to know.

"Later, I would come to care," she said, her face etched with pain. "We have another stop. I'll be able to better explain when we get there."

They walked the rest of the distance to the building that Gabe had pointed out as his family's apartment where a driver was waiting for them. Emmie looked at Mrs. Del Grande curiously.

The older woman answered her unspoken question. "For this one we need a car."

The drive probably wasn't as long as it felt. Emmie could have sworn they should be halfway back to Kentucky before the driver turned off the road. He pulled down a long winding tree-lined path, through a gate, and up to the front doors of large white structure. The words Channing Hospital, established 1892, were etched into the side of the building. When they exited the car Emmie was surprised they did not enter the facility. Instead Mrs. Del Grande led the way to an iron park bench that sat facing the main entrance. She patted for Gabe to sit next to her and Emmie followed suit. They sat there for a long time. Mrs. Del Grande breathed in and out like she was working hard to find her next word but couldn't form the sounds. Gabe fidgeted. Emmie stared blankly at the building, seeing everything that surrounded her and nothing at the same time.

Mrs. Del Grande's eyes shined with unshed tears. She looked at Emmie for a long moment before she said, "This is where your story starts."

What on earth did that mean? Emmie opened her mouth to ask the question aloud but didn't get the chance.

Mrs. Del Grande turned to Gabe again. "You know how I told you when you returned home from Kentucky that I was not angry with you about what has happened with you and Ava?"

Gabe nodded. Emmie looked down at her hands unsure what to do. This conversation was personal and one she shouldn't be hearing.

"I told you it was because all babies are blessings from G.o.d. That is no exception for your child nestled in Ava's womb," she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

Emmie stood to leave them alone. She should not be listening to this. They needed privacy.

"You need to hear my words. It will help you understand where your story starts, child," she said.

Emmie sat back down and picked at a loose thread on her new coat.

"I believe those things because I know what it's like to lose a precious young life. When you were a toddler-" she started, but broke off as a tear ran down her cheek. She wiped it away and started again. "I had another child when you were a toddler. A sweet little girl. My angel baby that I was only ever allowed to carry in my heart. By the time I held her she had already gone to heaven." The woman's face was carved with signs of pain, her voice thick with emotion.

"Ma," Gabe said, grabbing his mother's arm. "I didn't . . ."

The older woman sniffed and patted down her son's hair. "I'm sorry I never told you. It's just that a loss that great is such a burden for a young child to bear. I didn't want you to feel it. I never want you to feel that kind of hurt. It turns you black inside and you can't see outside of yourself. A fog of pain clouds your vision, distorting reality."

She pulled her son away and held him at arm's length. "So you understand why I can't see your child as anything but a blessing . . . despite what anyone says."

Emmie didn't even know she was crying until she felt the tears running down her cheek. To lose a child, she couldn't imagine. She'd lost a mother and that was the worst day of her life. Her mother. She looked back at the building and wondered what this hospital had to do with her. There was absolutely no way she could ask now. Not after what she learned. She would sit here and listen until the older woman was ready to talk again.

After a few minutes Mrs. Del Grande stood and paced in front of them.

"You don't have to explain anything else today. I can see you are tired," Emmie said softly. She did not want to push this woman to tears again.

"No, it's time for both of you to know," she said, rubbing her hands on her skirt. "I didn't handle the loss well. I didn't dress, or bathe, or eat." She turned to Gabe. "I forgot how to do anything but feel pain. It was like a blackness took hold of my insides and spread. I barely even took care of you, leaving your grandmother, and occasionally Molly, to raise the one child I had left. It came to a point when I didn't leave the bedroom. Marco called a doctor and they brought me here where I stayed for nearly two years. They gave me so much medicine I didn't know a hand from a foot."

Emmie brought a shaking hand to her eye and wiped away a tear. When she looked over at Gabe, he was sitting as straight as an arrow, all signs of emotion wiped from his face.

"Do you remember that . . . me avoiding you, me being afraid to care for you, me being gone?" she asked.

He rubbed his brow. "I don't know, Ma. I was little."

"Your Pop did the best he could. One day he accompanied Al and Molly on a trip to Kentucky. A little vacation to take his mind off things is what he told me years later. His mind apparently was so off things that he forgot he was married." She sneered.

"I'm not sure exactly how they met. It was somewhere outside of Louisville I think. Al's family had business with yours, if I remember correctly. They apparently went to some party and met again . . . and again . . . and again . . . until you arrived," she said sadly.

"I'm sorry for the pain my mother caused you," Emmie said.

The woman sighed and shook her head. "Your mother's doings were not your fault. Marco didn't tell her he was married until after he'd moved her into that apartment I showed you earlier. I found out later he'd told her he was a widow."

Her poor mother. She'd traveled all this way to be with a man she didn't know was married. With child, she was tied to an unavailable man. She couldn't imagine what that must have felt like. What if Silas had told her he was married today? Emmie put her face in her hands, unable to take in the sight of Gabe's mother or the hospital. She wanted to go home. Gabe rubbed Emmie's shoulders and gave her a somber look.

"By the time I left this place you were already born and living two buildings down from me." She paced in the gra.s.s again and rubbed her hands together. "But when I found out, I wanted to ring your mother's neck and take a knife to Marco Del Grande. The medicine was still in my system and all lines of right and wrong were merely shades of gray."

Emmie looked up. "Did you hurt my mother?"

Mrs. Del Grande shook her head and looked down before she answered, "No. When I came home and learned the truth, I made Marco swear to never see her again or I would leave with Gabe. He agreed to stop seeing her but said you would be welcomed in our house. The first time she dropped you off I wanted to hate you. G.o.d knows how much I didn't need the evidence of his little sin toddling around in my house." She froze for a moment and then walked over to Emmie. The older woman rested her hand on her cheek, "But then I saw you and you had his hair, the shape of his eyes, his fingers, there was so much of you that was him. You looked like my sweet Gabe," she put her other hand on Gabe's knee, "and my sweet little angel baby that I'd lost. How could I hate you when you were so much like the ones I love most?"

The woman rubbed a thumb down Emmie's cheek and patted Gabe's leg before she walked away.

"As I said before, my brain was still fogged with pain and medicine. I had suffered so much loss and endured more heartache than most. I somehow convinced myself that the reason you looked like the ones I loved was because you were meant to be mine. You were the universe's way of making up to me for my loss. I'd gone away to this hospital mourning a sweet little girl only to find one waiting for me when I returned. Or that's the way I thought of it anyway. I tried to take you from her, Emmie. I asked her to bring you over to play with Gabe. She was uncomfortable in our house once I was home. She would leave you with me for an hour or two then return. One day I didn't let her in. I told her that I could give you a better life. I imagine after only a few hours Marco returned home and took you from my arms. I really don't remember much of that day or of the ones that followed. I came back here for a few months until they stopped my medicines all together. By the time I was out again, you were gone. I always knew she'd taken you back to Kentucky, but it was years before Marco trusted me enough to tell me you were in Bowling Green."

Emmie watched the woman in horror as she continued explaining. That's why even though Mr. Del Grande had built a house in her hometown Mrs. Del Grande had never visited.

"I felt like you both needed to understand why you were kept away from one another. About my foolish attempt to keep you Emmie, you must understand that I was unwell. I see now that I was wrong," she said.

Wrong. She was more than wrong. She had been crazy. It was no wonder her mother had kept her away from the Del Grande family.

Chapter Twenty-seven.

The drive home was a blur. Her mind clouded with the details of her past. While what she had learned may have given her some of the answers she had longed for, Emmie by no means felt anything was resolved. If one good thing had happened, it was she finally understood her mother's actions. Her mother hadn't hidden her away from her past as a punishment or as a way to keep Emmie in the dark from her scandals. She'd done it for protection. Mrs. Del Grande had been a sick woman. Emmie couldn't help but wonder if maybe a small part of her still was. Gabe had always seemed somewhat detached from his mother perhaps this was why.

It was thoughts like these that consumed her mind for the next couple days. She had briefly explained the story to Silas when he phoned to check on her that evening. He was so quiet as she spoke she wasn't sure he was actually on the other end of the line. When she finished he'd admitted that he'd always felt that Gabe's mother was a little off. He had asked her if she thought talking to Marco was a good idea, suggesting that two versions of the same story often helped to find the truth that usually lay in the middle. Silas, always the interrogator, always the thinker. She smiled at his suggestion even though he couldn't see her. She didn't want to talk to Marco. He had trapped her mother in a web of lies. She didn't want his side of the story. Silas let the suggestion die and asked to come pick her up. Emmie had turned him down. She was surrounded by layers of lace and winter white fabric and Ava's wedding was in a few days. She had time to do nothing but sew.

Unfortunately, while sewing kept her hands busy it left loads of idle time for her mind to sit and think. There was so much on her mind. Lost in the emotion of the past, she had completely forgotten to ask Silas about the fire in Smith's Grove and why Walter had mentioned Bo. It was just as well though, he probably wouldn't have told her over the phone anyway.

Emmie wasn't sure if she should divulge the details she'd learned of her past to Ava. Mrs. Del Grande was the grandmother to her unborn child. Did Ava really need to know the ugliness of what had happened? Emmie was worried it would make her feel unnecessarily anxious about leaving her child with Gabe's mother. In the end Emmie decided that was the same sort of reasoning her mother had used to keep the truth from her. Ava's earlier words came back to her. She'd told her she was stronger than she looked.

When Ava came into the room she told her the truth. Ava was as horrified with the whole account as Emmie had a.s.sumed she would be.

Her friend stared at her from across the room with her mouth hanging open for a moment before she composed herself. Emmie looked down and played with the needle and thread in her hands. Her heart hurt each time she retold the story. She hoped this would be the last time she had to recount the details. Although it was awful to tell Ava and Silas the truth, the one thing she had learned in the past few months was it was better to have painful honesty rather than half-truths and secrets.

Ava closed the s.p.a.ce between them and took the needle from Emmie's hands. She knelt down in front of her friend and looked up at her with wide eyes. "I know that was a difficult thing for you to share. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. My heart is heavy for you and for Gabe."

Emmie only nodded. She had no more words to say.

"That Marco Del Grande is some kind of awful isn't he? Tricking your mama, cheating on his sick wife. Mrs. Del Grande has never been anything but nice to me. When she was here the other day she told me she was happy about the baby. You two have been the only ones to tell me that. I guess I understand why she'd be so unconventional now. She still yearns for the child she lost."

Emmie nodded. She was glad that Ava didn't really seem to be frightened of her future mother-in-law but she did find it curious that she did not seem harbor any resentment to the woman.

"It doesn't sound like Mrs. Del Grande was perfect though. She tried to take me away from Mama. That is just plain crazy. I don't care what kind of life she had suffered," Emmie said.

Ava's face fell for a moment as she thought through Emmie's words. She stood and wrapped her hands around her waist. "Do you think she really would have gone through with the kidnapping? I mean if she was a danger to children don't you think Ma would have kept me from her?"

"She locked my mother out of the house and said she was keeping me. That sounds pretty crazy to me," Emmie said.

"I suppose you are right." Ava paused and a deep frown settled on her face. "It had to be the medicine. I can't see that in her character. She would have had opportunities to take me as a child."

Emmie realized Ava was probably right but that didn't make it any better. She didn't want to be any closer with the Del Grandes than she had to be. She wasn't afraid of them but she didn't like the things she had learned about them.

Ava shook her head and sat down beside her best friend. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I know this isn't what you wanted to hear. You give me hope though. I've been up here worried all of this time that my baby was somehow going to suffer from the negativity that surrounded me since I found out I'm carrying Gabe's child. I look at you and you are one of the strongest people I know. And jeez, Emmie, you came from about the saddest story I've ever heard, yet you have gone on to be a great person," Ava said, touching her friend's arm.

"Thanks Ava . . . I think." Emmie laughed at the odd compliment.

"Is it better to know?" Ava asked.

"Honestly, I don't know."

Ava nodded. "I think sometimes it's better to not know."

Emmie shrugged. "I guess I'd rather know. At least it helps me understand why Mama acted the way she did."

"Your mother's story is a sad one," Ava repeated softly.

"Her story with Marco was sad. But she was happy being a mother. I'm not saying that she wouldn't have changed it but she was a great mother," Emmie said.

"I know she was. I just think her life probably didn't turn out like she had planned," Ava frowned.

Emmie took a long look at the wedding dress. "I suppose that's the way of life."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ava asked.

"Well look at you. All your life, since we were kids, you've talked about this big wedding in a big fancy church. Bless your heart if they aren't forcing you into a shotgun wedding. It's not fair the way they are taking it away from you. You could put this off another month and with the ruffles on this dress no one would know," Emmie said.

"Don't you bless my heart or feel sorry for me," Ava said, looking her friend in the eyes.

"I didn't mean anything bad by it. I only meant . . ." she said to her friend.