Cold Dawn Part 17

"Ah. A gentleman."

Nick stood next to her at the front door. "If I'd been a gentleman, I'd have taken you back to his place that night."

She turned and looked out at the mountains in the distance, felt Cameron Mountain looming behind her. She was quiet for a moment. Finally she said, "Derek didn't like to take no for an answer."

"Rose," Nick said, his voice dark.

"I made him take no with me. Not soon enough, but I did it. He was a mistake. A short-lived, stupid mistake. He was a mean drunk, and he wasn't nice when I refused him. We'd been seeing each other, quietly. Never here." She kept her tone even, as if she were giving a post-search report. "We went skiing, had dinner together a few times. I thought he was...I don't know. Interesting. Action-oriented. He wasn't one of the usual suspects involved in my search-and-rescue work."

"A fresh face," Nick said.

She nodded, determined to get this over with. "He was fascinated by what I do, or pretended to be. He loved Vermont. I was in the mood for a little romance in my life."

"That's not how it worked out."

"It never does work out that way, does it?"

"Flowers, chocolates. Romance isn't that hard." Nick patted Ranger and shrugged. "It might get tough if I had to write a poem."

She smiled at him. "I'll settle for flowers and chocolate."

"Cutshaw?"

"He was about conquering and control. He a.s.sumed I'd go along with him without question, but I said no. He didn't like it. He was nasty. Threatening, belittling, abusive. He didn't physically hurt me. He wouldn't have dared."

"Verbal abuse can flatten people."

"Yes, it can. He was very manipulative. Moody and mercurial. I never knew if I would get the Bad Derek or the Good Derek. I didn't put up with it for long, but I put up with it for too long. I was in a tough place and I wanted to believe in the Good Derek." She was aware of Nick's eyes on her, but she concentrated on the view of the mountains she loved. "I don't like talking about this."

"Understood."

"Derek went from calling me at inappropriate times to being openly hostile after I told him I didn't want a relationship with him. He never left a trail, and I wasn't sure who'd believe me that he was as awful as he was." She shifted her gaze to the evergreen shrubs, the trampled snow from last night. "Vivian Whittaker was psychologically abusive toward her husband. I'm not saying that's why he did what he did."

"You got away from Cutshaw. Lowell stayed with his wife."

"Derek and I saw each other for less than six weeks. He thought he was doing me a favor by being interested in me at all. He was used to women falling all over him. He couldn't believe I would walk away." She turned back to Nick. "He made sure I knew he didn't think I was anything special."

Nick tucked a few windblown strands of hair off her face, out of her eyes. "You're beautiful, Rose, and you're s.e.xy as h.e.l.l."

"Sure, Nick. I'm out here in one of my father's old flannel shirts."

He grinned at her. "With your blue eyes standing out against the snow and your cheeks pink with the wind and the cold."

She groaned. "Sure, Nick."

"Cutshaw was a fool if he treated you as anything but a strong, desirable woman." Pain flashed in his eyes. "Me, too."

"You're nothing like he was." She tugged open the storm door. "I told you about Derek because of what's happened in the past forty-eight hours. The rest doesn't matter."

"It does matter."

She felt her throat tighten. "You're good-looking, rich, rugged. You can have any woman-"

"No, I can't. No one can, and who'd want to? Come on. Give me a break. Some guys would say one woman's plenty."

"Some women would say no man is fine."

"From what I remember, that wouldn't be you."

She couldn't help but smile. "b.a.s.t.a.r.d."

He slipped an arm around her middle and drew her close to him. "I'm sorry Derek Cutshaw was such a son of a b.i.t.c.h, but he's in the past. He was in the past when you and I got together."

"Got together, Nick?"

"Yeah." He kissed her on the top of the head and tightened his hold on her. "Very together."

"We had a one-night stand." She didn't wait for him to respond and pulled away from him as she entered the house. "We can grab something to eat at the cafe on our way out to the Whittaker place."

He waited a half beat before responding. "All right. Sounds good."

"Sorry if I was p.r.i.c.kly."

"That was nothing. You forget I've been friends with a Cameron for ten years. I figure you held back. I'm lucky."

Rose laughed as she dug the tennis ball out of her pocket and set it in the closet along with a dozen others. "You wanted to make me laugh, didn't you?"

"Always." But Nick was serious now. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You got away from Cutshaw. That's what counts."

"I thought of myself as so strong..."

"A hit to your ego like that undermines your confidence. Only thing to do is to get back up and carry on." His voice was quiet, his eyes on her. "Being strong doesn't mean you never get hurt."

"Or do something stupid."

He smiled. "That, too."

She took one of Ranger's leashes from the closet. "Nick, what if Derek somehow knew about us and went into a jealous rage and arranged to kill himself so that I'd find his body?"

"From everything I've heard, he wasn't even remotely suicidal."

"I keep asking myself why was he out there. What did he want with me?" She started back to the door but stopped abruptly. "Why now, Nick? Why are you here now? Is there anything you haven't told me?"

"The timing was right. That's all. Nothing more."

"Right for what?"

"To make sure you were okay, and to see if there was any indication Jasper was killed by Lowell's network. Informally," Nick added. "I'm not part of any investigation."

Rose yanked open the front door again. "We can take my Jeep out to the river."

Nick touched her upper arm, stopping her. "Rose," he said, "I haven't told anyone about us because I promised I wouldn't. That doesn't mean I regret making love to you. I don't."

She held on to the doork.n.o.b, letting cold air seep into her house. "Hannah suspects."

"Hannah knows. She's good at reading people, especially her friends," Nick said, obviously liking her. "A prosecutor in the making."

"I told her she didn't have to keep any secrets from Sean."

"Yeah, I know. I had a text message from him waiting for me this morning."

"What did it say?"

"My sister?" Nick winked at her. "Sums it up, doesn't it?"

Rose pulled the door open wider. "I guess it does. I probably should be more embarra.s.sed than I am. I'd hoped he didn't have to find out."

"h.e.l.l, so did I, but not for my sake. Sean and I have covered a lot of ground together."

"I can a.s.sure him you didn't take advantage of me."

Nick shook his head. "He won't ask. He was just telling me he knows. The rest is none of his business. He understands that."

"Then Hannah told him about Derek, too." Rose groaned. "I said she could, but I hate this. Derek was already at the Whittaker place when you arrived. Could he have known or guessed you were on your way and just got there first? Maybe he wasn't there to see me at all."

"I didn't know until I woke up at four-thirty that I'd head out there. I was lucky A.J. gave me directions. Derek was dead by then." Sunlight angled through the door, shining on his striking hair, his dark eyes. "We're speculating."

"Which can lead to trouble-just as it does in a search." She motioned for Ranger to come to her and clipped the leash onto his collar. "I'm neutral about you, Nick."

"Neutral? What's that mean? You didn't want to crawl under my hand-knitted afghan last night, or you didn't even think about it?"

She'd thought about it. She'd wanted to. Had he thought about knocking on her bedroom door?

She said nothing and headed back outside with Ranger.

"So neutral means you're resisting being attracted to me," Nick said as he trotted down the steps behind her.

She glanced back at him. "Could I say the same about you?"

"I'm not neutral, and I'm not resisting."

"Then you're-"

"Restraining myself. You're under duress. We already did that. It didn't work out so well."

"We were both under duress in June." She stopped at the bottom of the steps, choking on her words, then forced herself to continue. "If one of Lowell's killers created that hot spot and lured Jasper Vanderhorn into it-"

"Don't jump ahead."

"Nick, could Jasper's serial arsonist be in Black Falls?"

"Jasper's serial arsonist might not even exist. He never could prove his theory. One thing at a time, Rose," Nick said quietly, winking at her as he opened the back of her Jeep for Ranger. "Let's go to Three Sisters Cafe and see what's cooking."

Ninety minutes later, Rose let Ranger out of the back of her Jeep. He leaped onto the snow-packed driveway of the sprawling Whittaker estate, which, she thought, had to occupy one of the most scenic stretches of the shallow, twisting branch of the Black River.

Nick went ahead of her onto the shoveled walk. She tried to relax, but sitting next to him on the drive into the village, then across from him at the cafe and again on the drive out to the river had nearly done her in.

He was the s.e.xiest man she'd ever met.

Telling him about Derek-giving Hannah permission to tell Sean and Beth-had been difficult but also a relief. Her past with Derek had turned into a secret that rapidly had taken on a life of its own. Derek's lies and exaggerations and the fight at O'Rourke's had only made matters worse.

For months, Rose had wondered if she'd have fallen into bed with Nick if not for her brief, awful relationship with Derek Cutshaw.

Ranger looked up at her, as if he remembered that their last visit here hadn't gone well. The wind whipped the dusting of snow into the cold, clear air.

Nick eased close to her, putting a hand on her hip. "Hold on."

"I see," she said, noticing a man coming down the walk from the boarded-up farmhouse, then recognized Brett Griffin.

Brett waved as he approached them, his camera hanging from his neck. "I heard the investigators were done here and thought I'd stop by and see for myself." He gestured down the slope toward the stone guesthouse. "I parked in the turnaround and walked up the road. It's windy as all get-out. Took me by surprise."

"Did you come alone?" Rose asked.

He nodded. "The police came to see me last night to ask about Robert. I heard he tried to break into your house."

"That might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it doesn't matter. He should stop sneaking around and talk to the police."

"I think so, too. I told him as much yesterday morning. Whatever he's hiding, it can't be as bad as having the police think he was involved in Derek's death. That's what's going on, isn't it?"

"I wish I knew," Rose said. Another strong gust of wind blew up from the river. She felt a spray of snow in her face and could see Nick, who remained at her side, was. .h.i.t with it, too, but he didn't seem to notice.

Brett looked up toward the boarded-up farmhouse, his face pale even in the wind. He seemed to force himself out of his thoughts. "I ran into Bowie O'Rourke at the guesthouse when I got here. He was checking on the work he did for the Whittakers in January. You two aren't meeting him, I take it?"

Rose shook her head. "No, we're not. Is he still there?"

"I don't know. Bowie and I don't exactly get along. We only exchanged a few words." Brett raised his camera and eased the strap over his head. He had on layers that were well suited to the conditions, and he could easily spend the day in the cold. "I thought I'd take some pictures of the river while I was here. It's therapeutic."

"Did Feehan mention coming out here?" Nick asked.

"Not to me. I've tried his cell phone a few times but it goes right to voice mail. He hasn't called back." Brett grimaced as he squinted past Nick toward the shed. "I don't know why Derek or Robert would want to come here. They had nothing to do with the Whittakers."

"Was there any tension between them?" Rose asked. "They were housemates. It'd be understandable if they got on each other's nerves."

"To the point of Robert setting Derek on fire?" Brett turned ashen, obviously taken aback. "d.a.m.n, Rose. No."

"That's not what I meant."

He started up the walk, leaving footprints in the light snow, but stopped after a few steps and looked back at Rose. He seemed pained, but also resigned, as if he'd come to terms with what they were thinking about the man he'd once called a friend. "There was tension between Derek and everyone. He and I got along okay because I didn't cross him. That's why I finally backed off. I didn't need all that drama. The guy had no sense of his own limits. No boundaries. He was a great skier, though. Confident. I'm not nearly as good as he was. Robert's better than I am, too." Brett nodded to Nick. "Did he give you that sc.r.a.pe on your face?"