Close to Home Part 18

That brought a watery smile to Tessa's face. "No. I guess not. But-"

"But nothing," Johnny said firmly. "The only person to blame for what happened today is that man in the back of the cop car. You couldn't control his choices or his actions. I hope you can accept that, and find some peace with all this."

A stubborn look glittered in Tessa's blue eyes. "I'll work on accepting that I'm not responsible for every bad thing my father did, if you'll do the same."

Johnny opened his mouth to argue that it wasn't the same, not for him, but he shut it with a snap. Maybe ... Tessa had a point. Maybe it was time for Johnny to give himself a break and look for the kind of peace he wanted for Tessa.

Maybe he'd never get over his sister's death. It wasn't the kind of thing a man could move on from, and he wouldn't want to-it would be too much like forgetting her. But somehow, in that moment when he pulled his wife from the freezing waters of the Atlantic, something inside Johnny shifted. Lightened.

As if a hand had reached down from above, showed him where to find Tessa, and lifted away a burden he'd been carrying for so long, he hardly knew it was there until it was gone.

"Maybe you're right," he finally said, and had the satisfaction of watching Tessa's eyes go round with surprise. "It's a deal. I'll work on it if you will."

"Deal." Tessa pulled away to put her hand out and shake on it, but Johnny's hands closed reflexively over her hips to keep her close. His tight clasp squeezed water from her pockets, drenching their legs.

Tessa gasped and laughed, then stopped suddenly. "Oh! That reminds me. I'm mad at you."

Johnny's heart lurched sideways as she reached her hand into one pocket. She pulled out a sodden ma.s.s of paper, and wrung it out like a dirty dishtowel.

She shook it out and Johnny recognized the page from their divorce papers. The page with his signature at the bottom, the ink running down the paper like dark blue tears. Tessa met his eyes, arched a brow ... and tore the soggy paper cleanly in half.

Blood pounding, Johnny stared at her. What did that mean?

"You divorced me!" Tessa's brows drew together, aggrieved. "How could you do that?"

Hope was a sharp knot in Johnny's throat. "You ... you asked me to. Several times."

"And you chose the morning after we first made love to finally listen to me?" Tessa whispered fiercely, cheeks reddening beneath the pallor of her damp, chilled skin.

"I thought it was what you wanted." Johnny felt the half-truth burn like a coal in his chest, forcing him to add, "And I thought you'd be better off. Without me. I'm dangerous."

The furrow between Tessa's brows got deeper. "But ... divorcing me wouldn't have kept me safe, even if the threat you sensed had truly been a result of your work with the ATF."

Johnny shook his head reluctantly. "It's nothing as rational as that. I just ... I don't know. I've been going off half-c.o.c.ked a lot, ever since I got here. I don't always trust myself."

"That's too bad," Tessa said, holding his gaze steadily. "Because I trust you. With everything I am, and everything I have. And we might have work to do, a lot to learn about each other still, but I know one thing down to the bottom of my soul. I'm not better off without you. I've tried it, and I can survive. But I want more than that now. I want to live. I want to love, and be loved."

Johnny's hands were sliding up her back and curling her to him before he knew what he was doing. Their mouths found each other, cool and sweet and clinging. The kiss did more to warm Johnny up than a wool blanket and a fifth of whiskey.

He cupped her face in his hands and told her what he'd realized in the moment when he thought he'd lost her.

"I do love you, you know. I didn't know I had any heart left to give, after my sister died. But whatever I have, whatever I am ... it's yours."

Tessa, who hadn't cried once during the entire ordeal with her father, suddenly burst into tears. Johnny knew exactly how she felt. Everything he felt and wanted to say welled up in him, surging into his mouth like the waves crashing against the Coast Guard boat off the sh.o.r.eline.

But as he held Tessa to his chest and savored the feel of her against him, there was really only one thing to say.

"Tessa. Honey."

She looked up, smiling through her tears, more beautiful to him than she was the day he first met her. "Johnny?"

With his thumbs, he brushed the tears from her cheekbones. Staring into the endless pools of her hazel eyes, he felt his life come full circle.

"Theresa Mulligan Alexander. Will you marry me? Again?"

Everything Tessa had ever wanted was right here, in her arms. The thought dried her tears in a hurry, although the emotion that started them remained just as close to the surface of her damp, shivering skin. Standing on that sandy bank, she felt stripped down to the essentials, confronted with the reality of life's fragility.

How close they'd come to losing everything, to losing each other! Tessa felt the same stunned relief she would have felt after dodging a bullet.

Lacing her fingers together behind Johnny's neck, she said, "I will marry you, Johnny Alexander. As many times as it takes, until we get it right. But I think the second time is going to be the charm."

He laughed and kissed her again. Tessa closed her eyes and forced herself to memorize everything-the texture of his lips, the heat of his tongue, the rasp of his stubble. The joy in her heart, the desire in his hands, the love they shared.

It was a nearly perfect moment of happiness. But Tessa knew, better than anyone, that the marriage proposal wasn't the end of the love story. It was only the beginning. And as Johnny smiled against her mouth and held her tightly, Tessa opened her eyes and looked straight into her future.

Chapter 22.

Tessa caught sight of herself in the bakery window as she locked up for the night. It was the first time Johnny had let her close the shop on her own in the two weeks since her father tried to kidnap her, and Tessa was determined to enjoy having her routine back in place.

Since her father tried to kidnap her. Those words still didn't make sense, when she tried to consider them too closely. In the past fourteen days, the outward marks of her ordeal had disappeared-the ring of bruises around her wrist had faded and the b.u.mp on her wrist had gone down.

But it was going to take longer for the invisible scars to fade, Tessa feared. As happy as she was, being engaged to her husband, she knew she'd be dealing with the emotional fallout of her family's implosion for some time to come.

With a shaky breath, Tessa turned her face to the golden light of evening. This was the first time she'd been alone for longer than a few minutes since she left the hospital, and it actually felt good.

She'd only been kept one night for observation after her dip in the freezing cold waters of the ocean, but Johnny hadn't left her bedside even though she spent most of her time in the hospital dozing off her medication. He'd been there every time the nurses came in to wake her and check her vitals, in case of concussion. He'd been the one to drive her home from the hospital, to Patty's house, where he'd promptly moved his things into her bedroom.

Tessa wasn't keen to let him out of her sight either, at first. She was shaky after her close brush with danger, she could admit that. And it was heaven to have him so close, in every way, after years of yearning. But after a week of coddling and hovering, Tessa had started gently trying to get Johnny to relax his hypervigilance a bit.

She'd suggested they finish out their couples counseling at Windy Corner, and to her surprise, Johnny had agreed without putting up a fight. "Dr. Voss got us this far," he'd said, smiling slightly and curling an arm around her shoulders to press a kiss into her hair. "Let's see what else she has to say."

One of the things Dr. Voss did was to give them homework. For instance, Johnny's homework was to let Tessa walk home from work by herself.

So here she was, meandering along the sidewalk on her way toward her love, and enjoying the cool, purple twilight ... until she nearly crashed into someone right in front of Patty's stone walkway.

"Whoops!" Quinn Harper laughed, looking up from her phone with a wide grin. "Man, I should not be mult.i.tasking. I can barely chew gum and walk at the same time, much less text. Are you okay?"

"Never better," Tessa a.s.sured her young friend. She and Quinn had bonded over the past couple of weeks. In a move that seemed to surprise everyone except Patty, the taciturn, unfriendly Marcus Beckett had all but moved in to help take care of the recuperating old lady. He was a better nurse than Tessa would have imagined. He did ch.o.r.es around the house, from changing lightbulbs to scrubbing toilets. He and Quinn played cards with Miss Patty by the hour. Between the two of them and having Johnny to help Tessa at the bakery, Miss Patty had never been better cared for.

"Things are definitely looking up around here," Quinn agreed cheerily. "Miss Patty seems to be doing really well."

"Thanks to you and Marcus."

"We're not the only ones! Everyone has pitched in."

They turned and started up the walkway together. Quinn was right. Patty's house was full of laughter and good wishes, with a constantly rotating cast of island friends bearing ca.s.seroles, salads, and gossip. Quinn had proven herself indispensable, her sunshiny smile cheering Patty up when her headaches came back, and her attention to detail helping to keep the many offerings of food organized and labeled with sticky notes to enable Patty to return the correct dish to its owner.

"That's one of the things I love about your hometown, Quinn. The way everyone comes together in a crisis to care for any member of the community that needs it. It reminds me of where I grew up ... but with more acceptance and freedom to be yourself."

Tessa tried the front doork.n.o.b absentmindedly before remembering they were keeping it locked now. She fished in her purse for the keys she'd hardly ever used before the events of two weeks ago.

Quinn followed her into the house. "Sanctuary Island is pretty wonderful. I can't imagine ever wanting to live anywhere else. Hey, does this mean you and Johnny are staying?"

"That's ... something we're still discussing."

It was a bit of a fib. Mostly, Tessa had avoided bringing up the issue of where they'd build their new life together after the small, private ceremony next week. As of right now, Johnny was still on paid administrative leave from the ATF, but that was going to be over soon. Things between them had been going so well, and they'd been working so hard on their relationship, Tessa hadn't been able to bring herself to rock the boat. But they were getting to the point where they needed to make a plan.

Mustering a smile to cover the nervous b.u.t.terflies that danced in her stomach when she thought about how she might navigate that particular conversation, Tessa poked her head into the library.

Sure enough, Johnny was in there, pacing back and forth in front of the big bay window. It had swiftly become his favorite room in the house, with its walls lined with books and its comfy armchairs grouped around the fireplace.

Tessa's smile grew at the sight of her handsome ... husband? Ex-husband? Fiance? Whatever label she put on him, he looked d.a.m.n good in it. She stepped into the room, but before she could cross the thick, plush carpet to give him a h.e.l.lo kiss, she noticed he was on his cell.

Catching sight of her, Johnny smiled and held up a finger. Mouthing "One minute" to her, he turned toward the window.

Okay, then. Leaving her mysterious man to his private call, Tessa followed the sound of voices down the hall, toward the kitchen.

Patty's warm, homey kitchen was truly the heart of her household, where everyone tended to congregate. Tessa wasn't surprised to see that tonight was no different, but she was a little surprised to see Marcus Beckett standing in front of the stove with a red ap.r.o.n tied around his lean hips.

From her chair parked next to the butcher-block island in the center of the kitchen, Patty said, "I'm a little tired of tuna noodle, so Marcus said he'd make omelets."

Quinn's feet hardly seemed to touch the hardwood floor as she sailed over to Marcus. "You can cook?"

"No," he said shortly, then immediately contradicted himself by deftly flipping the delicate yellow omelet in the pan with a flick of his wrist.

"Oooh," Quinn cooed, slipping one hand around his waist. Marcus gave her a frown but didn't shift away from her.

Tessa smothered a grin. These two and their odd dance around each other was sometimes amusing, and sometimes frustrating-but most of the time, watching them made her glad she and Johnny had worked so hard on their communication with one another. It often sounded as though Marcus and Quinn were having two separate conversations, talking past each other.

With nothing to do but wait for Johnny to get off the phone, Tessa settled in the chair next to Patty's. She opened her mouth to interrogate her mentor about how she was feeling and whether she'd taken her meds that day when Marcus's harsh voice startled her into staring over at him.

"What do you mean, you're not taking the job?"

As Tessa's brows reached for her hairline, Quinn slowly removed her hand from Marcus and drew away a few steps, hurt tugging at the corners of her lips.

"I've already got a job. At the b.u.t.tercup Inn. With you."

Tessa swore she could hear Marcus's molars grinding from across the room. "But that's your dream job, you said. Working at the therapy riding place."

"Sure, a dream job. As in, a fantasy! I don't have the qualifications for a job like that. I'd need more school, certifications..."

Patty and Tessa exchanged a look. It sounded a lot like jack-of-all-trades Quinn was afraid to try a job that might lead to a real career. Choosing her words with obvious care, Patty said, "Oh, sugar, did they offer you a job over at Windy Corner? How lovely! Jo Ellen Hollister is no dummy, you know-I'm sure she knows exactly what your qualifications are. What did she say about it?"

Quinn shifted her weight. "She said Windy Corner would pay for me to go back to school and get certified while I worked there full-time. But that's bonkers! Where did they get the money for that all of a sudden, when a few months ago they couldn't afford to pay me even part-time?"

A slight, aborted movement from Marcus caught Tessa's eye. She studied him over Quinn's shoulder. The way he was watching the younger woman, you'd think he never wanted to let her out of his sight, much less let her take a job with someone else.

But maybe he wanted what was best for Quinn, even at his own expense.

It was hard not to want the best for Quinn, who seemed to spend most of her time taking care of everyone around her.

"A new grant must have come through," Tessa suggested. "That's great!"

Quinn's mouth set in a mulish line. "It's great for them, but the point is, it doesn't matter where they got the money because I'm not taking the job. As soon as it opens, I'll be tending bar at the b.u.t.tercup Inn."

"That's a stupid choice," Marcus said bluntly. "Take your dream job and quit coasting through life."

Furious tears sprang to Quinn's eyes, magnifying them into deep blue pools, but she went toe-to-toe with Marcus anyway. "I'm not coasting! You need me! Especially now that Johnny is busy helping Tessa at the bakery. And we don't even know if he's sticking around yet! Sorry, Tessa."

Tessa caught her breath at the sting, but it was nothing more than the truth. They still had some big questions to resolve.

The blankness on Marcus's face as he stared down at Quinn was more chilling than any thunderous frown. "I don't need you."

Quinn gasped, and Patty hopped down from her chair. Threading her arm through Tessa's elbow, she said loudly, "You know what I could use? A c.o.c.ktail. And don't give me any of that stuff about how the doctor says I can't have bourbon. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. Come on, Tessa, let's make a pitcher of manhattans. These two can handle supper."

They whisked out of the kitchen and down the hall to the library, where Johnny was putting his cell back into his pocket. "Hey there, pretty ladies. Is dinner ready?"

"Not yet. I need a drink first." Instead of making a beeline for the crystal decanters and silver c.o.c.ktail shakers on her bar cart in the corner, however, Patty flopped down on the nearest love seat and stared up at Tessa with avid curiosity.

"Fifty bucks says they didn't even notice we left the room."

Tessa huffed out a laugh. "I've never seen two people so wrapped up together. It doesn't matter if they're making eyes at each other or fighting like two cats in a bag-there might as well be no one else on the planet."

"I've known a few other couples like that in my day," Patty mused, casting a sly glance between Tessa and Johnny.

The seed of happiness that lived in Tessa's chest sprang up into full bloom at the love shining clearly in Johnny's eyes as he laughed across the room at her.

"What are they fighting about now?" he asked, sauntering over to the bar cart and picking up the bottle of Miss Patty's favorite bourbon. "What fillings to put in the omelets? How many eggs it takes? Whether you have to break any eggs to make the omelets?"

"No, it seemed like more of a real fight this time," Tessa said, as Johnny poured out a small portion of amber liquid. Miss Patty frowned at it, then at Johnny, who shook his head and mutely refused to pour a bigger portion.

Taking the gla.s.s with a huff, Patty said, "It was one of the big three."

Tessa shook her head in response to Johnny's offer of a drink. "The big three?"

"Most married folks fight about their kids, their bills, or their jobs. Or all three."

Tessa tensed. The comment hit her right where she was bruised and raw from worrying about her job and Johnny's job and what it meant for where they'd live. She darted a glance at Johnny, but he didn't look concerned. He was shaking his head, like he couldn't understand why Marcus and Quinn were arguing about something so silly.

"All that stuff will work itself out," he said. "If Marcus and Quinn are serious about each other, if they love each other, all the rest of it will fall into place."