Children Of Dreams Part 16

For her to know that she had people pulling for her, even if she was never to know her bio mom.

When we were invited back to Orlando the second Christmas by our-brother-in-law, he paid for our trip and motel. I told Kirk, "We have to meet her."

He understood as a man would, but I felt it deeply. He goes along with what I think is right, as he did to see her Dong Nai Orphanage and the market where she was found and abandoned. Now she talks about it quite often.

It was the right thing to do in both instances, because with the orphanage, the director had gone home, and he drove back in to see her and hug her. We took pictures of him and his wife. It was a G.o.d thing. Like meeting you.

I still have the papers you sent me somewhere in Abbey's file. I want her to know her whole story, because only then can she honestly resolve it.

I emailed you a couple of years ago (Kris contacted me by email initially, but I didn't receive her email on their first trip to Florida. It wasn't until another year had pa.s.sed, when she emailed me a second time that they were pa.s.sing through Gainesville that we met) and asked you if Abbey and I alone could come and visit you, and you never responded. It hurt me a little. I thought, well, maybe you have a boyfriend, a live-in or maybe you don't want to clean house, or some random thoughts. Maybe you didn't like me.

I just let it go. I thought, well, maybe you didn't get my email. I just thought, there is this connection, and Abbey and I talk about you. She has a place in her heart for you, because she knows when she was too little to understand or control anything, you were praying for her.

She has a love for the thought of you.

I wanted her to have a knowledge of who you were, and a trip, or a halfway meeting someday, would be so good for her (and you), and your two daughters... we would probably not have her had you not held onto her until you couldn't any longer, and had you not been there to pray for her constantly.

Love, Kris.

Every child is a precious gift from G.o.d. Some of us are called to give birth. Some of us are called to adopt. Sometimes our role is to pray and intercede for those who can't speak for themselves. Sometimes we are called to sponsor children in Third World countries. If we all do our part, we can make a difference in the life of a child. G.o.d knows the beginning and the end. We can rest a.s.sured His plan is perfect.

Abbey and I did meet, and Kris and I shared a few special moments as we watched Joy and Abbey play together. I could now have complete peace and a.s.surance that I had done exactly what G.o.d had called me to do; in His infinite wisdom He gave me Joy. But before Joy, He had given me the high calling of praying for Abbey for an entire year so she could be adopted by Kris and her dear husband. Abbey was their first daughter following six boys, and very much wanted and loved.

Even in today's fallen world, there are flawless pictures that create perfection, if only for a fleeting moment, but we grab hold of them knowing they are a foretaste of the heaven that awaits us, where there will be no more beatings and cries of the dest.i.tute, where G.o.d will heal every bruise and wipe every tear. I hope to see Abbey and Kris again next year in February when we travel to San Antonio for one of Joy's gymnastics meets. G.o.d continues to work out ways for our paths to cross and for that I am thankful (see pictures at back of book).

...and the truth shall make you free.

John 8:32.

One thing I look forward to when I get to heaven is learning the truth about things I will probably never know here. I will never forget the feeling I had when I arrived in Vietnam and was told the baby I was adopting was "kidnapped."

Eight years later, after someone came up to me and asked, "What happened to the baby that was kidnapped?" I realized I couldn't gloss over things. I needed to delve into what happened so the truth could set free my frozen emotions. I didn't want to reveal that part of what I experienced because it was so painful, but those who read my story wanted to know everything.

There are many warnings in Children of Dreams for would-be adoptive parents-beware of who you work with and bathe your hopes and dreams in prayer to the only wise G.o.d who is all-knowing and all-powerful, "... for the battle is not yours, but G.o.d's" (2 Chronicles 20:15).

Since being asked the question about the little girl who was kidnapped, I prayed and fasted, and this is what G.o.d has led me to believe. I can't "prove," the following, but based on circ.u.mstantial evidence, the likelihood is that it contains some measure of truth, but only the Lord knows everything.

I don't believe Nguyen Thi My-Duyen was kidnapped. When I failed to make the original trip to Vietnam due to Manisha's illness, I believe Anne, fearing the mother might change her mind, or perhaps another parent's referral fell through, gave my child to someone else.

Perhaps Anne thought I would never come to Vietnam. My doc.u.ments were on the verge of expiring anyway. She also probably didn't want to risk the baby not being adopted. I'm sure there was a monetary component involved, and she didn't want to lose the several thousands of dollars that would go into her pocket. A baby was available and that was all that mattered. She was willing to take the risk and deal with the consequences later.

Even if I showed up on her doorstep at some point, she could explain away my referral-after all, I had already been through four-just offer me another child. What difference would it make as long as I got "any child"? People have lots of ways to justify wicked schemes.

I believe when I arrived and Anne had been unable to find a replacement baby, she made up the story about the kidnapping. She probably could have gotten away with it, except Jenni and I put the notice in the paper. She was already under investigation by the U.S. Emba.s.sy for baby selling and forgery of doc.u.ments. Putting the ad in a public place would have put her at risk of having her license pulled as an adoption facilitator either by the U.S. Emba.s.sy or the Vietnamese government.

The police would have been called in for a missing person that really wasn't missing, and once someone told the mother, she would have reported that her baby was placed with another family. Anne would have been caught in a scam and subject to prosecution.

That brings up Joy. After eight years, when I was emotionally able to go back through her adoption papers, which I had saved but refused to look at, I found the name and phone number of a family in the medical doc.u.ments. On a whim I called the number, and the woman who answered the phone was the same one as in the doc.u.ments.

The lady explained to me that her husband had gone to Vietnam, worked with Anne as the facilitator, and on the way to Vietnam, the child they were going to adopt "disappeared," or was "no longer available," in the adoptive mother's words (a strange coincidence). Instead, they were offered three children. Joy was one of those children. Her husband traveled alone and she stayed behind with a child they had already adopted from Vietnam. She also told me in no uncertain terms that Anne had lied to them about "things."

When her husband saw that "Joy," was sickly, he decided to adopt one of the other children who appeared healthier. The family never came to adopt two children. They only came to adopt one and ended up adopting a different child.

So why did Joy wait all those months without being adopted? And why did Anne feel like she had to lie to me about why Joy was available? I don't know the truth where Anne is concerned, but I believe Joy was meant to be my daughter all along. G.o.d prevented her from being adopted by anyone else.

I put the question out there, though, if a family did adopt a little girl, Nguyen Thi My Duyen, born on July 15, 1996, and were in Hanoi, Vietnam, in October or November, 1999, I would love to know. I would like to believe that the beautiful little girl was adopted by a "forever" family that loves her.

Of course, as we know with Abbey, Anne redid and altered doc.u.ments and birth certificates for expediency. Little Thi My Duyen may not have the same name, same birth date, or even the same birth certificate. So I probably will never know the truth until I arrive in heaven, but I do have peace because G.o.d has shown me that Thi My Duyen was adopted by someone and not kidnapped.

EPILOGUE.

...the children of the promise.

Romans 9:8.

"I took away her dreams," my husband told the judge on September 4, 1986. Humanly speaking, he might have thought so. In John 8:44, Satan is described as the "Father of lies." Satan's desire was to destroy me, to make me doubt G.o.d's love and goodness. In my pain, I believed a lie, much like the children believed Aslan was dead in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

But there is a higher law, a law that governs the universe, that supersedes every human sin and evil that attempts to corrupt G.o.d's perfection. Our heavenly Father, who is full of grace and mercy, works out His purposes despite the evil one that lurks in the shadows. No human being has the power to thwart G.o.d's ultimate plan. He works in spite of the prince of this world and uses everything for His glory. Nothing is ever wasted, whether it is disease, affliction, corruption, greed, lies, or betrayal. Jesus is our ultimate example of being perfect and commanded us in Matthew 5:48 to "Be perfect, even as your heavenly Father in heaven is perfect."

G.o.d's incredible love for us is even more astounding when one considers He was under no obligation to adopt us. He could have treated us as angels, making us spiritually alive through regeneration, and justifying us under the law through His death and resurrection. (Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology, Grand Rapids, Mich, 1994, 738-739) But to adopt us and call us His children, to call Himself our Father, displays an intimacy in our relationship that defies, in my limited understanding, all logic. Why would the Creator of the universe want to be our Father? Even Albert Einstein, for all his genius, could not understand G.o.d as a personal G.o.d. (Hugh Ross, Ph.D., The Creator and the Cosmos, Colorado Springs, Col: Navpress, 2001, 75.) Just as I signed a contract and made a down payment to adopt my children before I left for Nepal and Vietnam, G.o.d has given us "His Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come" (2 Corinthians 1:22).

On July 26, 2000, we made a memorable trip to the Alachua County Courthouse to finalize Joy's adoption. A few years earlier, I had taken Manisha to the same place to finalize hers. Both of my children's adoption decrees are now sealed and kept safe, just as my adoption paper is sealed in heaven, waiting for Jesus to open and reveal my inheritance.

I renamed my children Hope and Joy, and G.o.d promises to give us a new name, "known only to him who receives it" (Rev 2:17). The adoption of my children represents a foreshadowing of what G.o.d has in store for all of us.

Much of the meaning of being a child of G.o.d has yet to be revealed because it's in the future. It is hard to comprehend the King giving me heavenly possessions that will never break, become outdated, cost too much, get lost, or that I don't have to return because they are defective. In my limited understanding, I have tried to imagine a world where there will be "no more death or mourning or crying or pain" (Rev 21:4); where the dwelling of G.o.d will be among us and He will wipe away every tear (Rev 21:4); where every kind of precious stone forms the foundation of the heavenly city which is paved in gold (Rev 21:19).

How can we envision perfection when all we have known is imperfection? G.o.d longs to be our Father, to share His inheritance with us, just as I longed to be an orphan's mother. G.o.d planned us to be part of His family from the foundations of the world. He made us for His glory and "set eternity in the hearts of men" (Ecc 3:11). He will give us new bodies that will never grow old or die, but will be raised imperishable (I Cor 15:42).

I am sure if I told my children, "You can go back to Vietnam or Nepal and live your former way of life before I adopted you," they would turn it down. Why would they want to go back to depravity and worms and hunger? In our heavenly home, the old order of things will have pa.s.sed away (Rev 21:4) and the former things will not be remembered (Isaiah 65:17).

Before I adopted my two beautiful daughters, it was hard to imagine what it would like to be a mother. I dreamed about little girls and birthday parties, Christmas trees and toys, bear hugs and b.u.t.terfly kisses, and my name transformed into the magical word "Mommy." Through prayer and G.o.d's faithfulness, what seemed impossible became real. And so it will be someday with us and our heavenly Father.

Hebrews 11:1 says that "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." G.o.d knows how we are formed and remembers we are dust (Psalm 103:14). Jesus said when we pray, to call G.o.d "Our Father." The Spirit testifies with our spirit that we are G.o.d's children (Romans 8:16). G.o.d compares Himself to a father having compa.s.sion on his children. (Psalms 103:13). Our heavenly Father loved us so much that He gave us His only begotten Son (John 3:16), and He has made us heirs of G.o.d and co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17). Even creation itself will be liberated when we are brought into the glorious freedom of the children of G.o.d (Romans 8:21). Through adoption, G.o.d gave me my "Children of Dreams" and quenched the desires of my heart (Psalms 37:4). With G.o.d, our heavenly Father, before the foundations of the world, He made us His "Children of Promise." (Romans 9:8 and Galatians 4:28) Revelation 5: 9-10.

Here is the new song they sang.

"You are worthy to take the scroll.

and break open its seals.

You are worthy because you were put to death.

With your blood you bought people for G.o.d.

They come from every tribe, language, people and nation.

10 You have made them members of a royal family.

You have made them priests to serve our G.o.d.

They will rule on the earth."

Photographs and Ill.u.s.trations.

Back cover (print edition) photograph taken by author at Khari Dhunga, Janakpur Zone, near Chirokot in Eastern Nepal. The mounds are magnesite mines of Khari, meaning white, soft rocks. The mountain in the background is Kalinchok. This panoramic spot in the Himalayans is fifty-four miles east of Kathmandu and about nine thousand feet above sea level.

Nepal and Vietnam maps courtesy of Thomas Roberts: Used by permission.

Photographs.

Gypsy 1964.

Manisha's arrival on Mother's Day 1994.

Joy's arrival at the Jacksonville Airport January 2000 Our family on vacation in August 2011.

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Books by Lorilyn Roberts that will be available late 2013 or early 2014:.

Free Anthology of First Chapters for Book Lovers, Volume One, edited by Lorilyn Roberts, Taste and See: To learn more about Lorilyn, visit her website at http://lorilynroberts.com or blog at http://lorilynroberts.blogspot.com You can follow her on twitter at http://twitter.com/lorilynroberts Visit Lorilyn Roberts' website at http://LorilynRoberts.com.

Copyright 2013 Lorilyn Roberts.

Author's Note: Many of the names in this book have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals.

Acknowledgments.

Since I had never written a book, I was nervous about "getting it right." I asked friends, family, and brave souls in the "Book Club" at my church for volunteers to read the first draft and several were more than willing to scour the pages in search of "problems." Their honest input has made Children of Dreams a much better story, and I am indebted for their encouragement and suggestions.

To the brave Creekside book readers, Mary Lou Shubert, Crystal Castor, and Cari Sue Palmer; to my mom, sister and brother, Paige and Tom; and Doug; my friends, Roger Hunt, Harry Rushing, Laura Lynch, Maureen DeRuyter, Sylvia Murphy, Linsey Murphy, Jenni Murphy, Maureen Syzmansky, Emily Syzmansky, Kris Kirk, Connie Davis, Joyce Davis, Fran Goh, Heather Doles, and Carol DeMar. I feel blessed that you were willing to take your precious time on this project. Thank you!

I also want to thank Joy and Manisha for giving me the time to write. Without their willingness to let me be alone to work and "wing it" for more than a few meals, I couldn't have finished it. Thank you for being so patient.

Most of all, I want to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, without whom this book would not be possible. He is the real "author" and "finisher."

end.