Chantecler Part 37

CHANTECLER Do I take what?

FIRST CHICKEN Pray talk without reserve. We represent the Board of Investigation into the Gallodoodle Movement.

CHANTECLER That's all very well, but I--[_Attempting to pa.s.s._]

FIRST CHICKEN You will find it difficult, I think, to leave, until you have answered such questions as we are pleased to ask. Is your early meal a light one?

CHANTECLER But--

SECOND CHICKEN You have tendencies, no doubt--

CHANTECLER Hosts.

SECOND CHICKEN What do you feel most particularly drawn to?

CHANTECLER Hens.

FIRST CHICKEN [_Without smiling._] Have you nothing to communicate with regard to your song?

CHANTECLER I just sing.

SECOND CHICKEN And when you sing--?

CHANTECLER The heavens hear me.

THIRD CHICKEN Have you a special method?

CHANTECLER I--

FIRST CHICKEN You live--

CHANTECLER To sing!

SECOND CHICKEN And your song--?

CHANTECLER Is my life!

THIRD CHICKEN But how do you sing?

CHANTECLER I take pains.

FIRST CHICKEN But do you scan [_Beating furiously with his wing._] one-one-two One-three? Three-one? Or four? What is your dynamic theory?

THE BLACKBIRD [_Shouting._] Who has not his little pet dynamic theory?

CHANTECLER Dyna--?

SECOND CHICKEN Where do you place the accent? On the c.o.c.k--?

THIRD CHICKEN On the Doo?

CHANTECLER On the--

FIRST CHICKEN [_Impatiently._] What is your school?

CHANTECLER Schools of c.o.c.ks?

SECOND CHICKEN [_Rapidly._] Certainly. Some sing c.o.c.k-a-doodle-doo, and some Keek-a-deedle-dee!

CHANTECLER c.o.c.k--? Keek--?

THIRD CHICKEN Not to speak of those who--

A c.o.c.k [_Coming forward._] The correct and proper way to crow is Cowkerdowdledow!

CHANTECLER What c.o.c.k is that?

FIRST CHICKEN An Anglo-Indian.

SECOND CHICKEN And the Turk over there, whose comb suggests a cyst, crows Coocooroocoocoo!

THIRD CHICKEN [_Shouting in his ear._] Do you not upon occasions vary your c.o.c.kadoodledoo with Cackadaddledaa?

ANOTHER c.o.c.k [_Springing up at the right._] I, for one, entirely suppress the vowels: C-ck-d-dl-d!

CHANTECLER [_Trying to get away._] Is it a Welsh Rabbit dream?

ANOTHER c.o.c.k [_Springing up at the left._] O-a-oo-e-oo! Have you ever tried suppressing the consonants?

ANOTHER c.o.c.k [_Pushing aside all the others._] I mix the whole thing up--Cuck-o-deedle-daa!--in a free and supple song!

CHANTECLER My brain reels!

ALL THE c.o.c.kS [_Gathered about him, fighting._] No! Cuckodee--No, Cackadaa--No, Coocooroo--

THE c.o.c.k [_Who mixes all up._] The free c.o.c.kadoodle! The free crow is obligatory!

CHANTECLER Pray, who is that, speaking with such authority?

FIRST CHICKEN It is a wonderful c.o.c.k who has never sung at all.

CHANTECLER [_In humble despair._] And I am only a c.o.c.k who sings!

EVERYBODY [_Drawing away from him in disgust._] I wouldn't mention it if I were you!

CHANTECLER I give my song as the rose-tree gives its Rose!

THE PEAc.o.c.k [_Sarcastically._] Ah, I was waiting for the Rose! [_Pitying laughter._]