Certain Success Part 19

[Sidenote: What Has He Done with His Birthright?]

You cannot be certain of his characteristics if you judge him solely by what Nature forced on him. But you can be absolutely sure if you size him up by observing _what he has done with his birthright_, and if you are then able to _interpret_ correctly what you _perceive_. Your prospect has had nothing to do with the shape and size of his head. His fair or dark complexion is inherited. He is utterly unable to control the color of his hair or eyes. His _muscle structure_, however, is a _development_ that he has accomplished himself. If he has a firm jaw, the jaw _muscles_, not the jaw _bone_, signify the characteristics of a firm mentality. _Judge the physical man he has made by his habits of living under the government of his mind._ Disregard such physical details of his appearance as he cannot help. The _made_ man is the true image of the ego. It is this _ego_ of your prospective employer you need to know, for your chance to succeed in your purpose with him depends on the _inner_ man you must convince and persuade. Therefore restrict your size-up to the discriminative observation of the _muscle signs of his mind habits and mind actions_.

[Sidenote: Recall Burbank Method]

Recall now, or re-read the second chapter of this book. There you studied the principles of restrictive-discriminative growth--the Burbank method of developing selected qualities of manhood. That chapter related to your cultivation of particular characteristics within _yourself_. The same principles will guide you with equal certainty in acquiring knowledge of _other men_.

Every _mental_ characteristic of your prospect about which you need to know has _physical indications that can be perceived, and translated into certain knowledge of details of his character_. You have studied the co-relation of _your_ mind and body in mutual development. You may be sure that similar processes of development have produced like effects in the case of the man you have come to see. You know exactly how to grow particular qualities within yourself, by using your muscles to develop corresponding mind centers and vice versa. You can read another man's mind by observing _his_ muscle structure and muscle action, and by then interpreting the mental significance of what you perceive.

[Sidenote: Men are Alike At Heart, But Differ in Mind]

To repeat and emphasize again what already has been said about knowing the _heart_ of another man--you need but look into your own breast to find there the finest basic characteristics of the human heart in general. As Kipling wrote, "The Colonel's lady and Judy O'Grady are sisters under their skins." All men are fundamentally alike at the bottoms of their hearts, however much they may differ in the individual traits they have grafted upon their common root of human nature.

So when you are sizing up your prospect, you should comprehend that _the most effective way to get to his heart is through such an appeal as would reach the heart of every man_. Know your own heart surely, then, in order to be certain of knowing his. All human hearts respond similarly to manifestations of courage, n.o.bility, love, faith, honor, and the like. We laugh and cry at the same humor and pathos. Our _feelings_ are closely akin. We differ from one another only in our _minds_. Our individual, acquired habits of thought affect but the _degrees_ of our several heart responses to the gamut of fundamental emotional appeals.

[Sidenote: Exhaustive Prolonged a.n.a.lysis Unnecessary]

Knowledge of another man, then, involves first, comprehension that he is _like_ every other man in his _emotions_, and _unlike_ all other men in the way he _thinks_. To a trained observer his habits of thought are clearly indicated by his muscle structure and muscle action. Exhaustive prolonged a.n.a.lysis is unnecessary. You can learn to read quickly the mental significance of the comparatively small number of details of muscle structure and action that const.i.tute a fairly complete index to his character. Then you will be able to judge with certainty practically all the traits of which you need to be sure in order to make the most effective presentation of your services for sale to this particular man.

[Sidenote: Value of Size-up]

The value of such a dependable size-up can scarcely be over-estimated.

It is not easy to gain the _initial_ chance to present your capabilities to the one man with whom you have chosen to be a.s.sociated. But it would be tremendously harder to win a _second_ opportunity to sell your services after _failing_ the first time. By sizing him up aright while you are presenting your qualifications for his consideration, you will be able to _avoid making unfavorable impressions_. You can also adapt your salesmanship to _creating the best possible impression_ of your capabilities and their fitness to his *especial needs*.

[Sidenote: The Gruff Reception]

Sometimes a man seeking to gain the big chance that he believes would open the door to success fails to secure his opportunity because he is disconcerted by a gruff reception that he misconstrues as personal to him. He wrongly interprets _natural_ self-defense as a sign of habitual crabbedness.

A big man often thinks he is "hunted" by people who want to make him the prey of their own purposes. The employer you have chosen as the means of reaching the goal of your ambition may feel suspicious of your object in approaching him. He is likely to a.s.sume an att.i.tude of extreme reserve, or even of icy indifference. Possibly his manner will be curt and sharp.

Size up such a reception as just his way of protecting himself against impositions. His treatment of you is merely a superficial manifestation of the instinct for self-preservation. It indicates nothing more than that he is wary of any one who calls on him with an unknown purpose.

His object in being cold or brusque is to get rid of people who might annoy him or waste his time. He would not a.s.sume his repelling pose if he knew _you_ had come with a purpose of _true service_, after full preparation of yourself and your selling plans to interest him. Though he does not realize it yet, you will neither pester him nor fritter away his precious minutes.

[Sidenote: Melting Ice And Smoothing Roughness]

Therefore if your size-up convinces you that the cold, brusque manner is only _a.s.sumed_, you need not deal with it as if it were _characteristic_. It indicates no more than the habit of wariness. You should proceed confidently with your selling process, undeterred by the bearing of your prospect. Do not attempt to mollify his a.s.sumed harshness. It will take but a few moments for you to _sell him the idea that you have brought him something he really needs_. When he first glimpses your service purpose, his icy pose will begin to melt and his rough tones will be smoothed.

A great public-utility corporation with thousands of branch offices throughout the United States had as its purchasing agent for many years an old gorgon. He was "a holy terror" to new salesmen, but became a staunch customer when once his confidence was deservedly gained. And every employee in the office of this tartar loved him for his true kindness of heart.

[Sidenote: Don't Flinch Or Retreat]

You may have occasion to call on such an eccentric big man. If you are rebuffed fiercely, don't let it "get your goat." He can have no possible reason for disliking you personally, especially before he comprehends your purpose in coming to him. So disregard his ferocious pose. Though he may treat you as an unwelcome intruder, proceed calmly to the statement of your business. You know that your intention to render him a true service justifies you in taking his time. Therefore his a.s.sumed fierce manner should be powerless to disconcert you.

_Do not retreat_ from a chosen prospective employer; _do not even flinch_ from him, however ill-tempered and repellant he may appear. You cannot possibly lose so much by standing your ground as you would forfeit by running away from this chance to demonstrate your salesmanship. Countless thousands of men have failed because at the first sign of antagonism they surrendered even more than they might have lost if they had been utterly beaten after the hardest kind of a fight for victory. _They gave up without a struggle, not only all their chances for success, but their self-respect as well._

Suppose the man you have selected as your future employer does snap at you viciously when you call on him; his ferocity signifies no more than that you must approach and handle him carefully. Your prospecting and your size-up should have convinced you that he is not in fact the crab he tries to appear. Real, thorough cranks are so rare they can be considered as non-existent. It is safe to conclude that any man who acts as if he were sore all the way through all the time is just _acting_.

Ignore the irrascibility of the "Everett Trues" you meet. _Superficial_, _a.s.sumed_ indications will not help you to comprehend the _inner_ man you want to influence. _Restrict your size-up to the signs of that inner man._ While the old gorgon you face is brow-beating you, he may be planning in the back of his head an act of gentle kindness to some one.

If he is _habitually_ kind, there will be physical indications of that characteristic; in his _tones_ and _acts_ if not in his _words_. Look for these signs beneath his harsh manner, which is merely a disguise he has put on. "Everett True" behaves like a domineering tyrant, but he really is characterized by an acute sensitiveness to what is right and just.

[Sidenote: Judge By Unconscious Appearance And Actions]

When sizing up a man, depend princ.i.p.ally upon details of his _appearance_ and _actions_. Translate whatever you see or hear into definite discriminative judgments regarding him. His muscle structure and movements indicate certain traits. Of course you should also observe and size up the significance of the words and tones he uses. But a man employs his speech with the conscious intention of making impressions.

Therefore it is not safe to rely on a size-up based on what he says.

Your prospect may be using his words and tones to hide, rather than to reveal, his inner self.

However, if you know how to separate and cla.s.sify _details of muscle structure and action_, you can depend safely on specific conclusions based on these indications. The muscle structure of a man is the result of his habits of living, or of his predominant characteristics. He builds it up unconsciously and is unable to disguise it. It can be interpreted as certain proof that he has particular traits. Most of his movements, too, are made without his realizing exactly what they denote of his character and present thoughts. He just "acts natural." Therefore if you read indications of the inner man by a.n.a.lytically observing his _physique_ and _actions_, you will gain reliable information about him.

He will not know that he is revealing his traits and what he is thinking.

[Sidenote: Your Opinions About People]

From your earliest childhood to this moment you have been forming first-hand opinions of other people by observing and interpreting their words, tones, and movements. Sizing up men is not a new process to you.

But in order to be a certainly successful salesman of yourself you should _observe more intelligently and discriminatively_ hereafter.

Instead of making up your mind about people without knowing just how or why you arrive at your judgments, cla.s.sify your intuitions scientifically. Know the reasons for your opinions. You can be sure about the conclusions you reach as a result of your _specific, exact observation of details_. The study and a.n.a.lysis of words, tones, and acts, coupled with a little painstaking practice, will make you an expert judge of other men.

[Sidenote: Study Character Un.o.bserved]

Do not seem to make an effort to observe the person you are sizing up, for that would impress him disagreeably. Without indicating that you are watching him, mentally note and interpret his muscle structure, his manner of speaking, his gestures, the rate of his physical activity, the way his actions respond to his ideas, the type and tensity of his movements. _Each item you a.n.a.lyze and translate should indicate to you clearly some fact about the inner man._

Of course you will not be able to read your prospect thoroughly in the first few moments after you meet him. It is possible to make only a partial size-up then. No one would reveal _all_ his characteristics in such a brief time. _But each indication you perceive and interpret correctly will aid you to attribute to him certain other, related traits._ For instance, if the actions of a man indicate the characteristic of evasion, you may judge safely that he lacks courage, the highest sense of honor, some of the elements of perfect squareness and trustworthiness. If he has a habit of under-estimating or "knocking," and manifests this characteristic in something he says or does, you may feel certain he is not an idealist. He is likely to be pretty "practical" in his views, and cannot be won by appeals to rosy visions.

[Sidenote: Elements of Character are Consistent]

a.n.a.lysis of a man's true character usually shows that its elements are thoroughly consistent. A human being is not a bundle of contradictions, but an aggregation of likenesses. Every man differs from every _other_ man; yet, generally speaking, one element of his character is not apt to differ radically from another detail of _himself_. There are exceptions, but in most cases the seeming contradictions in an individual are only apparent opposites. Supposed inconsistencies cause surprise because the true fundamental traits of the person observed are not discerned. The _outer_ man often seems to contradict himself. But nearly always the _inner_ man is consistent in his various characteristics. This is the reason why your size-up should be _restricted to discriminative observation of indications of the ego_.

[Sidenote: Application of Theory]

Perhaps you have been thinking, "The _theory_ seems to be all right, but exactly how is it _applied?_" So we shall turn our attention next to specific details of sizing up the characteristics of the inner man. We shall see just how his thoughts and feelings may be discerned at a particular time.

We a.s.sumed previously that you have called upon the man to whom you want to sell your services. You believe the way to your success lies through a.s.sociation with him. _Your faculties of observation should be trained to size up at a glance whatever traits are suggested by his bearing, his clothes, his manner, his actions, his surroundings_. Whether he is standing or sitting, it is possible for you to perceive and interpret his pose and poise. You can learn much from his walk if he steps forward to greet you. His handshake may tell volumes about his true character.

The different ways that men clasp palms are especially significant of their individual traits. You should have a scientific knowledge of handshakes.

[Sidenote: Traits Suggested By Nods]

Should your prospect merely nod on your entrance, note discriminatively the movement he makes. There are many kinds of nods. The quick, sharp tipping of the head indicates unhesitating, clean-cut decisions. Such judgments on the spur of the moment are not always right, but they are apt to be pretty conclusive. Irregular, jerky nods are signs of irritability, of rash or very impulsive decisions, and often of unreasoning prejudice. The nod made directly forward signifies frankness, dignity, and straight thinking. The tilting of the head a little to one side suggests a habit of indirectness and a tendency to "stall."

[Sidenote: Learn to a.n.a.lyze Smiles]

How much of a man's character is illumined by his smile! Ability to a.n.a.lyze smiles _correctly_ will enable you to size up the dissembled traits of character behind the _false_ smile. Such a.n.a.lytical ability will also show you how to turn to your best advantage the smile of _true_ friendliness.

It is possible to judge from the physical aspect, from the facial expressions, from the movements, and from the voice of a man whether he is nervous or phlegmatic, active or pa.s.sive, healthy or lacking in vigor and strength. A skillful size-up will determine that he is either eccentric or well balanced mentally, that he is thrifty or extravagant, that he is disposed to take comprehensive views or is inclined to give undue attention to trifles and details. He will indicate to a keen observer real intellect or mere intelligence. His emotions also may be read. He reveals himself as generous or selfish; as an optimist or as a skeptic. He shows that he is responsive to heart appeals or is hard hearted, moral or immoral, artistic or lacking in appreciation of art, cultured or boorish.

[Sidenote: Discriminative Restrictive Process]

To know the significance of your prospect's different _words, tones, and movements--the only means he has for the expression of his ideas and feelings_, just apply to _his_ case whatever you have learned in studying _yourself_. Adapt your previous discriminative knowledge to the prospect you are sizing up. Restrict your conclusions about him to the significance of details you observe in his appearance, actions, and speech.

After considerable practice in sizing up you will become familiar with the indications of many different traits. _But in most cases it will be sufficient if you can observe swiftly and interpret in a flash only a few of the commonest character signs_. We will touch briefly upon some of these.

[Sidenote: Facial Muscles]