Carter Reed Part 3

I couldn't look away from him. He held me captive. My heart wouldn't stop racing.

"You're like a feral cat."

My knees came to my chest and I wrapped my arms around them. With a groan, I tucked my forehead against them. I wanted everything to go away. I wanted my brother back. I wanted no Jeremy in Mallory's life. And I didn't want Carter to have become this man in front of me. Shame filled me next as the throb picked up again. G.o.d, how could I want this man? He was cold, detached. He killed others.

So have you. A nagging thought whispered in the back of my mind.

The pizza box was thrown beside me. The smell overwhelmed me. My mouth salivated again and my stomach clenched. I reached for it without thinking. I shoveled a slice into my mouth, then tried to get more in. I was so hungry.

After the third slice, I choked back the vomit. My stomach growled again, but in agony this time. Then I shot to my feet and looked around, panicked as I felt more vomit spew inside of my closed mouth.

Carter pointed to a side door and I burst through it the next second. I fell to my knees around the toilet and emptied everything back out. More and more kept coming up, even more and I wondered how that was possible. There was nothing in my stomach. It was like my body wanted to erase everything as much as I did.

When I stopped, with my mouth covered in vomit, I rested my forehead against the lid and gasped for breath. I felt so weak, so helpless in that moment.

A gla.s.s of water was placed beside me. A gentle hand brushed some of my hair back as Carter lowered himself to the ground. He gazed back at me, but this time it was the old Carter. The killer from before was gone. He gave me a small grin. "I'll take care of you."

Relief soared through me and my body gave way. But before I slid to the floor in a crumbled heap again, he caught my arm and hoisted me to his lap. Then as I curled into him, his hand went back to my hair and he brushed it back. Slowly, with my heart still pounding, I rested my head against his chest and felt his other arm came around me.

Finally.

Carter cleaned me up. He lifted me, sat me on the bathroom counter, gave me mouthwash, and held the gla.s.s so I could spit it out. After I was given more water, he carried me back to the kitchen table. This time, he gave me the crust from one of the pizza slices. With stern instructions to nibble on it, he left for awhile.

I didn't know what he did, or where he disappeared to. I knew he was in the penthouse, I could hear him on the phone, but that was all I cared about. He wasn't leaving so I picked up the crust and started to do as he said. I nibbled on the piece of bread until the entire thing was gone. Then I waited, and when nothing came up this time, I grabbed another piece of pizza. This time I tore some of the toppings off and nibbled on those.

I almost groaned at how good they tasted.

It'd been so long since I had real food inside of me.

"How are you feeling?"

He stood beside the counter, watching me. A blank expression was on his face and I couldn't stop the shiver down my back. He was a stranger again. This was the Carter that I didn't know, and I wondered where the old one went before I remembered the phone call. It must've been the phone call that changed him.

"I'm fine."

He frowned and took the seat across from me.

He moved like a ghost and folded into the seat with a grace of a panther, one that stirred with purpose.

"What are you thinking, Emma?"

I jerked at my name. It was foreign to me. The sensual way he had spoken before was gone. It was then that I realized he had done it on purpose. He wanted to invoke desire within me so he had. Was everything about him a weapon? His voice, his eyes, his body, his mind?

I looked down at my plate. "You've changed."

"Yes," he sighed. "I suppose I have. Things were," he hesitated, "easier back then."

I looked back up.

He amended, "Relatively speaking, I guess."

"You guess?" Anger flared up in me. AJ had been addicted to gambling and drugs. He owed the mob money and they killed him because of it. Our parents had been absent since before I could remember, and Carter hadn't had it easier. With a drunk as a father and an addict as a mother, he spent most of his nights on our couch. For as long as I could remember, he always had bruises when he would come over.

I spat out, "You must be remembering things differently than me. Things never got easier, it just changed."

A small chuckle set the hairs on the back of my neck upright. He sat back in his chair. "Things were easier for me, Emma. I didn't have to worry about killing people."

My eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to scare me?"

He leaned forward. "I'm not the same boy who needs somewhere to sleep anymore. Looks to me like our roles have changed, Emma." A hard wall slipped over his face. "Why don't you tell me the real reason you're here? You sought me out. Here I am. What's your crisis?"

I sucked in my breath. If only it were that easy. I shook my head. "Are you kidding me?"

"Did I say something to offend you?" A faint glimmer of a smile flared, but it was gone. His eyes fell flat again. "You came to me. You tell me why."

I opened my mouth.

"And you can drop your att.i.tude. I don't tolerate it from my men. I won't tolerate it from you, whether you knew me in the past or not."

I closed my mouth and sat there stunned. He was right. I wouldn't talk like this to another in his position. The Carter I had known was no longer. I saw that now. I realized that now. Pushing up from the table, I knew I'd made a mistake. "I'm sorry. I need to go."

"Stop," he ordered.

I fell back down, but it wasn't because I made a conscious decision. My body reacted to his command. He said it and I obeyed. I sat for a second, blinking in a daze, as I comprehended what happened. It was so instant, so quick.

As anger boiled again, I leaned forward. I was ready with a scathing comment, but he sighed.

His eyes softened. "I haven't heard from AJ's little sister in ten years. I'd like to know the reason you're here now."

Oh.

All the anger, resentment, and foolish feelings vanished. I remembered my reason and the nightmare flooded back. Panic and desperation were my friends again. They clung to me. I struggled to find the words. When my arm started to shake, he seemed to grow colder. His eyes darkened and anger stirred in them.

"Who hurt you, Emma?" His voice was sensual, but there was an underlining tone of icy disdain.

Fresh shivers wracked me. My eyes clasped shut. What had I done to him? I felt his hatred. It gutted me.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened."

I choked out, "But maybe you'll hurt me."

"I would never hurt you."

"Promise?" I held my breath. I was depending on him, everything centered on him. Mallory needed him. I needed him.

"I promise."

Relief washed over me and I sagged in my chair. My throat choked up. Then I whispered, in a hoa.r.s.e voice, "I did something."

He nodded.

My insides tightened. I couldn't say it. It'd be real, but I already had said it out loud. Still, Carter was different. Once he knew, I couldn't undo whatever would happen next.

"What did you do?" He softened his tone.

He was persuading me now. He wanted me to confide in him. If only it were that easy. I could just open up and share my problems to him, but no. Was this the right decision? Could I trust him? I didn't know him anymore. He was the Cold Killer. I hadn't known that man from before. I only knew the boy he'd been.

"Emma."

I looked at him. The tears blurred him in my vision.

"I know you're debating whether or not to tell me what happened, but if you're here with me then I'm your only choice. I know you. I remember the smart girl you were. I was always proud of how you handled yourself. You were a survivor, all those years ago. I knew it then. I know it now." He leaned forward. A glimmer of the old Carter shone through to me. "You have to tell me. I won't hurt you. I've already promised you that."

I nodded. He was right. He was so right. He was the only one. But I couldn't look at him. I hung my head and whispered, "I killed someone."

"Who?"

There was no reaction. Just a question. The ball of fear in me loosened. "He was hurting my roommate."

"Who did you kill, Emma?"

He said my name so that it felt like he was caressing me with it. I relaxed a bit more. It was easier to speak. "He was raping her when I went into the apartment." Then, I closed up. I couldn't say. He was the mob. Carter was the mob. Carter would hand me over.

"Who was raping your roommate?"

I shook my head again. "I can't say it."

"You have to." Gone was the softness. He had hardened again.

I jerked back in my chair. The stranger sat across from me once more. Now I knew for sure, I had to get out of there. I tried to swallow over the knot of terror that was lodged in my throat again. I looked for the door. I could make it-there was a guard out there. My eyes swung back to Carter. I would have to stop him. He couldn't alert the guard about me. But how? I had no idea.

His phone rang from a room. He must've left it. When he turned, I bolted for the door. It was my only chance.

He caught me around the waist. I made it to him, but that was as far as I got. As he picked me up with one iron-clad arm, he said over my struggles, "You're being ridiculous, Emma."

I kicked harder. "Let me go!"

"No."

My arm fought free and swung at him, but he deflected the blow and adjusted so he held both of my arms against my side. He carried me into a bedroom. I tried kicking backwards towards his groin, but he just grunted and moved his thigh so it was wedged between my legs. As I kicked again, he raised his leg higher so I was straddling him. My feet swung, but only touched air now. I was helpless so I used my last resort. My head went forward and then, as I bit my lip, I rammed it backwards.

"Oomph." He twisted to the side, a low chuckle sounded into my ear.

"Agh!" I tried hitting my head to the side, but I didn't have the angle to do any damage. "Carter! Let me go!"

As he chuckled again, he sat down on the bed while he still held me in his arms. My back was pressed against him and he tightened his arms around me. One shifted up so he could use his shoulder to keep my head close to the side of his. I couldn't do a thing. Then he murmured into my ear, his breath caressing me, "You're still the fighter AJ raised. He'd be proud."

That sent another burst of fight through me. I tried wiggling, thrusting, but nothing. He sat and held me until I stopped. I had moved lower on his lap somehow. "Let me go, Carter. Please."

In a flash he twisted and I was on the bed now. He straddled me instead, with his legs on each of mine and my hands were raised above my head. He held them with one of his, leaving his other free to grab my chin. He forced me to look at him as he loomed above me. His body wasn't pressed down on me. He held himself in the air and stayed there, suspended, as he searched into me. I felt him trying to pierce my thoughts so I closed my eyes.

His hand gentled on my chin and he whispered, "Emma. Please."

Oh G.o.d. Something coursed through me at his softness. I looked without thinking and was caught by his gaze. He had captured me, my body and mind. As a sob rose in my throat, my body betrayed me. It softened underneath his holds. The fight was leaving me and it was being replaced with desire. I was aware of the few inches that separated us. A throb started between my legs. It wanted him to press there, against my core. It was starting to ache.

As my body weakened, so did his holds. His legs moved to rest beside my legs, one of his knees remained pressed between mine. I fought to keep from squirming. I wanted his knee to move further up. I wanted to press down on it. Then I gasped as I felt a gentle nudge under my chin. As I blinked through a sudden onslaught of tears, he moved further up the bed so his face was above mine. He lowered so I felt his breath against my lips. His eyes were raking over me; a few lines were wrinkled around them as he looked with concern. A small frown appeared over his mouth.

"Tell me what happened." His plea was so soft.

I broke. This wasn't the stranger anymore. This was Carter, the boy I had grown up with. I flung my arms around him and pulled him down. Instead of fighting, I clung to him now.

He wrapped his arms around me and rolled to his side. He patted my back and tucked his head into the crook of my neck and shoulder. I felt his lips brush there as he repeated, "You have to tell me. I won't hurt you. I will protect you."

A shudder went through my body. At last. Those were the words I was desperate for. He moved his hands, one sliding down to my hip and the other cradling the back of my head, he pressed into me. The last of my reserve fled then. A gasp escaped me and I pressed against him. I needed him.

"Emma."

Shame flooded me. He knew. What kind of person was I? Fighting, running away, and then starting to tremble in his arms?

His hand started to caress my hip. His fingers slid underneath my shirt and moved under my pants' waistband. He held me there, his hand splayed out. I tried to resist, but I wanted to wind my legs around him. I wanted to pull him on top of me and feel his hand between my legs. But I didn't do anything. I lay there, still, as my heart pounded inside of me. He could feel the beat against him. The thumping drowned everything else out.

He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead and raised himself up again. He looked down at me. The plea in his eyes was still there. As he brushed some of my hair from my forehead, he asked, "Do you not trust me?"

I nodded. "I'm scared of you."

A small grin appeared at the corners of his mouth. "You are?"

"I don't know who you are anymore." I couldn't believe I was admitting any of that, but I needed to trust someone. I had to if I was going to survive what I had done. Feeling a little bit brave, I touched his chest. My hand spread out like his was on my back. His heart was steady. I murmured, "I know who you are. I know you're the Cold Killer. I know what you did for AJ." A tear slipped from the corner of my eye. It fell unheeded. "I always wanted to thank you for that."

He tensed. "You need to tell me who you killed."

I'd been looking at his mouth, wondering distantly what they would feel like pressed to mine, when I heard the cold tone in him again. All the warmth and desire fled from me. I tensed as well and my gaze snapped back to his. My chest surged up in a small gasp as I saw nothing in his eyes. There was no amus.e.m.e.nt, no softening, nothing.

He was the stranger again.

My hand fell away from his chest. I lay beneath him, but he retracted his touches from me. He scooted to sit on the edge of the bed.

My chest started to ache. He couldn't leave. I needed him.

"Enough with the games, Emma. Tell me who you killed." He turned back. His eyes were like ice again. "I would like to help you. You and AJ were my family. I would do anything for you, but you're wasting my time."

He was right.

I sat up and moved so my back rested against the headboard. It was time. The new Carter and my old Carter were the same person. I didn't need to be scared of this new one. He was the ruthless one, the one that I needed help from. "I killed Jeremy Dunvan."

He clipped out, "Where?"

"In my apartment."