Carter Reed Part 24

A shudder went through me.

"She brought Dunvan into your lives. You were all doomed the second that happened." He pulled on my arm. "You know I'm right. Somewhere in there, you know I'm right. You can be angry at her."

My head whipped to his. "She just died."

"She died a long time ago," he said flatly. "You know that. You've always known that."

I shook my head. "This is why you should've let me go. None of this would've happened. She might not have met him. I wouldn't have even been her roommate. Maybe I was supposed to die, Carter. Maybe you weren't supposed to save me or kill all those guys for AJ-"

"I killed them for you. They were looking for you. I wasn't going to let that happen."

I shook my head. I couldn't stop shaking my head. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this. She shouldn't have died like that. I should've stayed-"

He gripped my arms and anch.o.r.ed me in front of him. "Stop it, Emma. Stop it right now."

"No. Why didn't you take her to a safehouse? She could still be alive. Her baby could be alive!"

"Because there were too many of you. Too many variables. Too many consequences. I couldn't trust them, any of them."

"But-"

"Too many questions. They would've asked too many questions and they couldn't have lived their lives. Your friend Amanda couldn't have lived her life. Any of them, they could've stabbed us from the inside." His tone gentled, "I don't let just anyone in. You should know that, of all people."

I shook my head. This wasn't helping. "She shouldn't have died-"

"Stop!"

"I handed her to him!" I yelled, yanking away from him. "I saved her from one monster and I gave her to another. She never had a chance. She never had a chance, Carter. How am I supposed to be okay with that? She was my best friend. She never drank. She never smoked. Guys were her thing. She went from one guy to the next. She was never loved and I..." I hadn't stopped any of it.

"She wasn't your responsibility."

I glared at him. "Then you're not my responsibility. Then I'm not your responsibility."

A scowl came over him, but he remained silent.

"I loved her. She was family. She was my responsibility. She was broken. You have no idea."

His eyebrow lifted. "I don't know broken people? Bulls.h.i.t."

I froze at his anger.

"You've been broken since AJ died. You were broken even before that, when your parents died."

I turned away. I didn't want to hear this.

An arm came around my waist and he trapped me, pulling me backwards against his chest. He continued, speaking into my ear, "Maybe this isn't the right time for this speech, but you're not responsible for her. You never were. You cared about her and you tried to help her, but that's all you could've done. You're not a G.o.d. You're definitely not her G.o.d. You did what you could do. You went above and beyond for your friend, something I'd be lucky to have. And I'm guessing that she knew it. She knew you were a good friend, but she probably knew you needed to save yourself. You did that. You can't blame yourself."

I whispered, "Why are you saying these things to me?"

"Because you can't mourn her if you're blaming yourself. I don't want you locked there. You mean too much for me to let you do that to yourself."

"Stop, Carter."

His arms tightened, and he started kissing the back of my neck. His hand spread out and started caressing my stomach. "I won't stop. I won't ever stop. Don't ask that from me. I love you, Emma."

I loved him too. The power of that emotion swept through me and I sagged into him. He caught me and held me in place. He continued to kiss my neck as he whispered, "You're mine. I won't let you go. I won't let you blame yourself for her death. You did what you could. It's not your fault. It's not."

He held me as the tears began to fall. Carter carried me to bed and he stayed with me for the rest of the night. He got up at some point and I heard him on the phone. When he returned and got behind me again, he pressed a kiss to my shoulder. "I called Noah and told him what happened. He'll tell Theresa you can't go out tonight."

Theresa.

I sat up. Amanda.

Carter sat with me. "What is it?"

"Amanda doesn't know. I have to tell her." A whole new storm started inside of me. I'd have to tell her what he did to Mallory, then I realized he never said what happened to Ben. "Did the police get him?"

A wall slammed over his gaze. His jaw clenched. "No. My men are looking for him."

"Oh G.o.d." He knew what I did.

Carter pulled me close. "My men will find him."

And that meant Ben had to die. One more person. No matter what Carter said, I was responsible for all of it. Mallory was dead because of me. Jeremy Dunvan was dead at my hands and now Ben was going to die because of what he knew about me.

"I have to go to her now."

"Amanda?"

I nodded, feeling a heavy burden on my chest.

"Okay." Carter kissed my forehead. "But I'm coming with you."

As we left, our hands were laced together.

When we got to Amanda's building, Theresa was already there. She waited for us outside the front door, panting. She straightened and wiped her hair back as she tried to catch her breath. "Hi." A deep breath. "Noah told me your friend died and I didn't know which friend, but I figured you might be here. I didn't know for sure. It was a c.r.a.pshoot, but I made Noah look up your friend's address."

"What?" How?

"I remembered her name when we met in the bathroom awhile ago. Do you remember?" She bent over and took more deep breaths. "I booked it over here. I kept thinking I needed to be here for you."

"How did you get Amanda's address?"

"Oh, that." Her cheeks reddened. "The cafe is owned by The Richmond. I made Noah look up her address."

Carter and I shared a look. She already knew some of it but knowing it and hearing more about it were two different things. "Theresa, that means a lot to me, but-"

She waved it away. "No, no. I'm here for you. I want to support you. I do." She turned to Carter, who still held my hand. "And I'm glad you're here too."

"You are?"

She nodded, so earnest. "I do. I am. I was hoping, anyway. I want to apologize for my behavior before. I was in your home and I acted atrociously towards you. You saved Emma's life, in more than one way. The only thing I should be is grateful to you. So thank you." She threw her hand out and waited.

Carter glanced at me from the corner of his eye, questioning, but shook her hand.

She pumped their hands up and down in one firm handshake. "Thank you for doing that."

"For what?"

"For accepting my apology. That means a lot to me."

"You must really like Emma."

"I do." Her whole face lit up. "I really do. She's very loyal and she doesn't use me for anything. Do you know how hard that is to find in a friend?"

Carter looked at me, as if to say ais she serious?' before he remarked, "I have somewhat of an idea."

"Oh, right." She flushed again. "I forgot who I was talking to. You're not that imposing in person, but I think it's Emma. You seem, I don't know, lighter? Maybe happier when you're with her? Not like in the meeting or when we saw you without her. You were all dark and intimidating. I still laugh when I remember Allison's reaction to you in that meeting. You're all lethal and hot. I think she dropped her panties the second she walked through the door."

"Theresa." I was not in the mood for this.

"Hmmm?"

"My friend died and I have to tell my other friend the news. Can the Carter Fan Moment wait for another day? Maybe never?"

"Oh, sure. Sorry."

Carter touched the small in my back. "Maybe we should head inside?"

When I pressed the buzzer for Amanda's apartment, she let us in right away. She didn't say anything over the intercom and as we got into the elevator, I couldn't shake an odd feeling. That wasn't normal. Amanda usually had something to say, but I pressed the b.u.t.ton for her floor and shook it off. Maybe it was me. The entire day had sucked.

"You ready?" Carter asked me.

I nodded. She had to know, but I wasn't ready to feel ripped down the middle again.

When we got to her floor, I knocked on her door.

After that, everything happened in fast forward. The door was swung open, but no Amanda. It was Ben. The only thing I had time to notice were that his eyes were wild before he jerked me against his chest, turned me around, and held a knife to my throat. He swung his other hand in front of me and pointed it in Carter's face.

My nightmare was happening in front of my face.

He had a gun to Carter, who started to lunge forward.

Ben yelled out, "I don't think so, buddy. I'll slice her throat. Even if you can wrestle the gun from me, I'll cut her open. You know I'll do it." A maniacal laugh came from him. It was high and shrill. "I believe you've seen my handiwork already, huh, Mr. Bigshot-Man-In-Charge! HUH?!"

Carter stood still for two seconds. His eyes narrowed as he looked at the barrel in front of him. Then his eyes slid to the knife at my throat before he barked over his shoulder, "Run. Now."

Ben tightened his hold on me as he tried to see who was behind Carter, but as he did, Carter reached for him. He grabbed the inside of Ben's wrist and slammed it against the wall. The gun fell free at the same time he ripped the knife from his other hand. Surprised from the speed, Ben froze for a second. In that second, Carter punched him in the face, shoving him backwards from me. Then he twisted the other wrist. As it snapped, he pulled me free. I was shoved behind him and he kicked at Ben's chest. From the sudden pain and force, Ben fell to the ground. He only had another second to look up before Carter knocked him unconscious with one blow to the head.

I ran inside and found Amanda on her bed. Her hands were tied behind her back with tape. There was more tape around her mouth. Dried tears left streaks down her cheeks, but as she saw me, fresh tears burst forth. She started yelling something, m.u.f.fled, and I ran to her.

"Amanda, are you okay?"

She turned to her side for better access at her hands, but I couldn't tear the tape off. I cried out in frustration, feeling panic. This wasn't right. He could've killed her too. As the panic started to blind me, Carter moved me back and used the knife he'd taken from Ben. He cut the tape free and pulled the other from her mouth.

She shot forward, scrambling into my arms.

I fell back onto the ground with her, and we held each other.

She was weeping as I kept her close. I didn't want to let her go.

"Emma," she sobbed. Her head was buried into my shoulder.

"Shhh. It's okay. It's over."

Her arms shook. Her entire frame was trembling.

"Oh my G.o.d," Theresa gaped behind us. She stood in the doorway with a hand over her mouth. Then she shook her head and resolve came over her. She came over and knelt beside us. "What can I do?"

I opened my mouth, but I had no idea. I was only holding Amanda. I had no intention of letting her go, but Carter plucked her out of my hands.

"Carter." I jumped to my feet and wiped my palms down my face. They were wet, from either Amanda's or my own tears. I tried to quickly dry them but gave up. I was covered in tears. "Don't."

He handed Amanda to Theresa, then pointed to the door. "Take her. I have a man in the hallway. They'll get you to the safe house."

"That place from before?"

"That place from before."

"Okay." She tucked Amanda under her arm and asked, "You got everything you need?"

Amanda turned to me.

My heart melted. She looked lost and fragile. It was a six-year-old version of my friend that stood in that doorway. I nodded. I already knew what she needed. "I'll pack a bag. I'll bring it with me."

Theresa chewed on her lip as she eyed Carter up and down. "That might be awhile, but I remember that there were other clothes at that place. We can use something there until you come."

When they left, Amanda held my gaze the entire way. At the last second, before Theresa pulled her through the door, she glanced at Ben who was still unconscious on the ground. She hardened then and stopped in her tracks. She gazed down at him, almost in a sad way though. "I know what he did. He told me."

Theresa whirled back to face me. I knew she was unsure what to do. But I knew. I stepped forward and touched Amanda's hand. "Did he tell you that she was pregnant?"

"She was?"

I nodded. Everything seemed so bleak. Mallory shouldn't have died the way she did. I should've saved her, but I didn't know. Carter was right. I hadn't known. "They think it was Dunvan's baby."

"It wouldn't have mattered." Amanda was insistent. "It wouldn't have mattered, not to Mallory. She would've loved that baby so much. I bet she was happy when she found out. She wasn't alone. She had someone to love..." She grasped my arm tightly. "Make him pay. I don't care if he was our friend. He killed her. You make him pay, Emma."

"I-"