By Honor Bound Part 17

The baby began to cry again, and her b.r.e.a.s.t.s

ached.

"I want my son."

"Here he is." Fionna put a tiny swaddled bundle into her arms. He had the wrinkled red face of an aged stranger.

"He looks just like his father," Ava cooed.

Elen began to laugh. She was so weak and tired that she began to cry at the same time, but she could not stop laughing.

"I have never seen anyone who looked less

like Talcoran," she said between happy sobs.

"That is odd, for I have no doubt that I am his father." Talcoran sat on the side of the bed and poked along finger at his son, who promptly began to scream. Now Talcoran laughed, too. "He is perfectlyhealthy, I see. Or rather, I hear." He leaned forward and kissed Elen.

"h.e.l.lo, wife," he said softly. He held her free hand. "I thank you for our son."

"It was you who gave him to me.""I will give you others as soon as we can have them."Fionna made a sound as near to a snort as she could possibly manage."That is just what Elen does not need to hear today," she said. "What Elen needs is rest. Ava, take thebaby away to its cradle. Say good-day to your wife, Talcoran, and leave."

Talcoran did not move."Lady, do you speak to your husband in that way?" he asked lazily."Frequently. He values my good sense."Elen expected Talcoran to make some sharp answer, but he did not."Fionna, let me have a few moments alone with Elen. Please."Surprisingly, Fionna capitulated without an argument."I'll go tell Conal the good news. Come along, Ava."Before the door had closed behind them, Talcoran was kissing Elen's hands.

"She thinks I am a thoughtless fool," he muttered.

"No, she thinks you are a man who has just met his first son. Talcoran, I want to ask a favor of you. "You may have anything it is in my power to give you."

"Could we call him Colin, for my father?" "Colin mac Talcoran," he said softly. "So that one day there will be another Colin, Thane of Laggan. I agree."

She felt the tears rising again. She wished she were not so weak and tired. She wanted to tell him how

much it meant to her that he had immediately understood her request, but that would have to wait until later. Her eyelids drooped.

"I must let you sleep now, or Fionna will scold

me again," he told her.

He kissed her lips. As she saw his dark, rugged face hovering above her with tender concern, she found the strength to say at last the words that had lain in her heart for so many months, that she had never dared speak before, even in their most

intimate moments.

"Talcoran," she whispered as she slipped toward the deepest sleep she had ever known, "I love you. Ilove you."Bancho of Lochaber rode into Laggan Castle. "Talcoran and Conal are hunting," Elen told him. "You will see them at the evening meal. You will stay a few days, I hope."

"Only a day or two. Are they always so ugly?" he asked, frowning at the baby in Elen's arms. "I don't

remember Fergus at that age. I was away from home fighting for most of his first year. I do rememberyou, Elen. You were a pretty little "thing.""Girls are always prettier than boys," Fionna' said tartly, "As you would know if you ever paidany attention."Bancho laughed. "We have missed your tongue at court, lady." He settled into a big wooden chair near the firepit, which had been his special place for as long as Elen could remember. "That is why I am here. I have a message from

Macbeth. Which I will deliver," he added before Fionna could speak, "only when Colin and Talcoran arehere, too."They ate heartily that night, of grouse from the day's hunt, venison, and fish from the loch, cheese and apples and mead and ale.

"This is like the days of my youth," Bancho remarked, loosening his belt. "There was always good foodat Laggan.""I haven't seen so many at our table since my father died," Elen said, looking down the long board at Bancho's men, and Conal mac Duff's troop of retainers, and Talcoran's men-at-arms, all sitting withDougal and the men of Laggan. Servants moved along the tables, offering platters of meat or bread, andpitchers of foamy beer. "Laggan Castle has come alive again."

"I am sorry to spoil your happiness, Elen, but you must leave Laggan in a few days. I am here with a

summons from Macbeth. You are all to return to court at once.""But why?""The king commands it.""My son is only two weeks old," Talcoran said. "Neither Elen nor the baby can possibly travel yet. Elen will remain at Laggan until she is stronger.""Macbeth wants you all at court," Bancho insisted."I am Thane," Talcoran said softly. "In Lagganshire, I am absolute ruler, as you are in Lochaber. I will go to court, but my wife will remain at home for another month."

"Well," Fionna murmured as the women left the table to prepare for bed, "I never thought I would see

Talcoran defy Macbeth."

"It's not defiance, it is only care for me," Elen replied. "Macbeth should understand that. I know Gruach will."

As she and Fionna mounted the stairs to their bedchambers, Elen looked back into the great hall. The men still sat at table, their cups before them, talking companion ably. It was a pleasant scene, yet her heart was heavy as she watched them. She believed that Bancho had not told them everything.

Even more than her foreboding about a return to court she dreaded separation from Talcoran. She had not moved back to their bedchamber yet, for the baby wakened several times each night to be nursed and would disturb him, and Fionna had warned her to wait until her body was completely healed before chancing another pregnancy. As she recovered, she found her desire for Talcoran reviving. She knew he was eager for her to return to their bed, for he had told her so. Now they were to be apart for a month. The spectre of the blonde beauties at court rose to haunt her before she firmly dismissed the thought. Talcoran wanted her. He would wait.

13 October to November 1041. Scone. Her clothes and other personal belongings had been put away in their usual places. The apartment in Macbeth's palace at Scone appeared unchanged. It was hard to believe that she had been away for more than half a year, but the baby sleeping in Elen's arms was proof of that.

"Welcome, mistress." Her husband's st.u.r.dy aide stood by the door.

"Drust, where is your master?"

"He is with the king. He ordered me to bring this woman to you, and to tell you he will dine privately with you this evening." Drust pushed forward a blonde woman of about thirty, while his eyes strayed toward Ava, who appeared to be deeply involved in folding linens.

"Thank you, Drust." Elen regarded the man with barely concealed amus.e.m.e.nt. "I think after our long journey from Laggan, all of my servants will need a rest. Tell the men who rode here with Drust turned to go, Elen added, "And you, Ava. Once you have prepared me to meet my husband, you will have the evening free, too." She heard Drust chuckle as he went out.

Elen now turned her attention to the woman Drust had brought her.

"Who are you?" she asked. "I am called Briga." The woman spoke Gaelic with a strong accent. "I am a Dane. My family had settled peacefully in the east of Alba, but we were all captured when King Duncan'

s army fought those Danes who had invaded Alba."

"That was two years ago." Elen spoke sharply. She preferred to forget the time of which Briga spoke. "

What have you been doing since then?"

"I was given in service to a n.o.ble lady." The woman seemed uneasy. She lifted pale blue eyes to Elen's. "

Mistress, your husband told me to speak honestly to you, that you would not

condemn me."

"Then do as he ordered." "My former mistress's husband lay with me. I did not want it, but he forcedme. He hurt me." She wrung her hands, looking frightened. "He kept doing it. He beat me when I tried toresist him. Finally, he got me with child. When she found out, my mistress dismissed me."

Elen looked at the woman's scrawny form. Did Talcoran expect her to take in this odd, foreign creature?

Her hair was matted and uncombed, her face and hands were dirty, and her dress was stained across its tight bodice. Elen knew her husband well enough by now to know that he usually had a good reason for whatever he did. She wondered what his reason could be for

this."Go on with your story," Elen commanded."My baby was born two weeks ago. I have more than enough milk, but she could not drink it. There wa.s.something wrong with her. She died yesterday." The woman began to weep, tears streaking through thedirt on her face.

"Where did my husband find you?" Understanding was dawning on Elen.

"I was living in the stables. I had a little corner. My baby was born there. But some of the men who work there tried to do to me what my master had done. The Thane of Laggan stopped them. When he heard my story, he told Drust to bring me to you because you need a wet nurse."

Elen smiled. She had ample milk to keep young Colin happy. Talcoran wanted her back in his bed, that was it, and very likely he also wanted another son. But if they lay together and she conceived again, there would be no more milk for the child they already had. Colin needed mother's milk until he was at least a year old, perhaps older. There was no other suitable food for a baby. Winter was coming, the time when many babies died, especially those who were weak from lack of food. However much he desired his wife, Talcoran would allow nothing to occur that would harm his son. Thus, the wet-nurse.

Another thought occurred to Elen. She would soon resume her position of lady to the queen. Attendance on Gruach would require long hours away from Colin, when she would not be able to nurse him. She was sure Talcoran had thought of that, too.

She inspected Briga carefully. In spite of her thinness, the woman had big b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Her bodice strained over them. Her claim of an adequate supply of milk seemed truthful. In fact, now that Elen looked more closely, those spots on Briga's bodice were certainly milk stains.

"You are dirty," Elen said. "You smell of the stable."

"Mistress, nothing would please me more than a hot bath. I was not always so." Briga looked down at herself with distaste.

"If I accept you into my service, you must have nothing to do with men. If you get with child and your milk stops, I will dismiss you."

"I understand." Briga met Elen's eyes squarely. "After what has happened to me, I do not care if I never touch another man. But I want to hold a baby in my arms again."

Elen wondered how she would feel if Colin were taken from her. She hugged her son more closely to her bosom and felt him stir against her. She did not think she could bear losing him. Her heart went out to the bereft woman before her.

"Very well. Ava, see that this woman has a bath, and find her some clean clothes. When she is ready, bring her back here. You will begin your work tonight, Briga. For the time being, we will both nurse Colin, so I can stop slowly. I have heard of women who became ill and died because they stopped nursing too suddenly."

"So have I, lady. If we are careful, I think we can manage without too much discomfort to you." So it was that Talcoran, returning to his chambers after nightfall, found a clean and smiling Briga, who offered his freshly fed and sweet-smelling son for inspection, then whisked the baby off to another room. A young manservant appeared, stripped Talcoran of his courtly garb and helped him into the wooden tub of water that steamed before the hearth. Talcoran contemplated the closed door that led to his bedchamber, then subsided into the tub with an expectant grin. A short time later, his eager nakedness barely covered by a dark red robe, he dismissed the manservant and, bearing a silk-wrapped package, entered the bedroom.

Elen came to meet him. Her heavy, milk-laden b.r.e.a.s.t.s were clearly discernable under her pleated linen shift. Her hair hung loose over her shoulders in the way he liked best.

Talcoran's breath came quickly at the sight of her. He felt his manhood rise in imperative need and wondered if he could control himself until she desired him, too. He wanted to do nothing to hurt her, but it had been so long, so very long.

Elen watched her husband as he came through the door. Would he still find her desirable, with her newly rounded b.r.e.a.s.t.s and her thickened waistline? Had there been other women since he returned to court without her? She found that she did not want to know. She vowed that she would never ask him.

She was astonished at the depth of her need for him. She did not want to satisfy the urge at once. She wanted to draw it out, and waiting, lure him and tease him and make him her own, as he had been before she had grown heavy with his child.