By His Bootstraps Part 6

He was all of them, he knew, for he remembered being each one. Howabout the times when there had been more than one present?

By sheer necessity he was forced to expand the principle of nonident.i.ty -"Nothing is identical with anything else, not even with itself"-to include the ego. In a four-dimensional continuum each event is an abso-lute individual, it has its s.p.a.ce coordinates and its date. The Bob Wilson he was right now wasnot the Bob Wilson he had been ten minutes ago.Each was a discrete section of a four-dimensional process. One resembled the other in many particulars, as one slice of bread resembles the slice next to it. But they werenotthe same Bob Wilson-they differed by a length of time.

When he had doubled back on himself, the difference had becomeapparent, for the separation was now in s.p.a.ce rather than in time, and he happened to be so equipped as to be able tosee a s.p.a.ce length, whereas 1~"~t~~ "t)

hecould only remember a time difference. Thinking back he could re.member a great many different Bob Wilsons , baby, small child, adoles-cent, young man. They were all different-he knew that. The only thing that bound them together into a feeling of ident.i.ty was continuity of memory.

And that was the same thing that bound together the three-no, four, BobWilsons on a certain crowded afternoon, a memory track that ran through all of them. The only thing about it that remained remarkable was time travel itself.

And a few other little items-the nature of "free will," the problem of entropy, the law of the conservation of energy and ma.s.s. The last two, he now realized, needed to be extended or generalized to include the cases in which the Gate, or something like it, permitted a leak of ma.s.s, energy or entropy from one neighborhood in the continuum to another. They were otherwise unchanged and valid. Free will was another matter. It could not be laughed off, because it could be directly experienced-yethis own free will had worked to create the same scene over and over again. Apparently human will must be considered as one of the, factors which make up the processes in the continuum-"free" to the ego, mechanistic from the outside.

And yet his last act of evadingDiktor had apparently changed the course of events. He was here and running the country, had been for many years, butDiktor had not showed up. Could it be that each act of "true" free will created a new and different future? Many philosophers had thought so.

This future appeared to have no such person asDiktor -theDiktor - in it, anywhere oranywhen .

As the end of his first ten years in the future approached, he became more and more nervous, less and less certain of his opinion. d.a.m.nation, he thought, ifDiktor is going to show up it was high time that he did so. He was anxious to come to grips with him, establish which was to be boss.

He had agents posted throughout the country of the Forsaken Ones with instructions to arrest any man with hair on his face and fetch him forthwith to the palace. The Hall of the Gate he watched himself.

He tried fishing the future forDiktor , but had no significant luck. He thrice located a shadow and tracked it down; each time it was himself. From tedium and partly from curiosity he attempted to see the other end ofthe process; he tried to relocate his original home, thirty thousand years in the past.

It was a long ch.o.r.e. The further the time b.u.t.ton was displaced from the center, the poorer the control became. It took patient practice to be able to stop the image within a century or so of the period he wanted. It was in the course of this experimentation that he discovered what he had once looked for, a fractional control-avernier , in effect. It was as simple as the primary control, b.u.t.twist the bead instead of moving it directly.

He steadied down on the twentieth century, approximated the year by the models of automobiles, types of architecture and other gross evidence, and stopped in what he believed to be1952. Careful displacement of the s.p.a.ce controls took him to the university town where he had started- after several false tries; the image did not enable him to read road signs.

He located his boardinghouse, brought the Gate into his own room. It was vacant, no furniture in it.

He panned away from the room, and tried again, a year earlier. Success -his own room,his own furniture, but empty. He ran rapidly back, looking for shadows.

There! He checked the swing of the image. There were three figuresin the room, the image was too small, the light too poor for him to be sure whether or not one of them was himself. He leaned over and studied the scene.

He heard a dull thump outside the booth. He straightened up andlooked over the side.

Sprawled on the floor was a limp human figure. Near it lay a crushed and battered hat.

He stood perfectly still for an uncounted time, staring at the two redundant figures, hat and man, while the winds of unreason swept through his mind and shook it. He did not need to examine the uncon-scious form to identify it. He knew...heknew-itwas his younger self, knocked w.i.l.l.y-nilly through the Time Gate.

It was not that fact in itself which shook him. He had not particularly expected it to happen, having come tentatively to the conclusion that he was living in a different, an alternative, future from the one in which he had originallytransitted the Time Gate. He had been aware that it might happennevertheless, that it did happen did not surprise him.

When it did happen,he himself had been the only spectator!

He wasDiktor . HewastheDiktor . Hewasthe onlyDiktor !

He would never findDiktor , or have it out with him. He need never fear his coming. There never had been, never would be, any other person calledDiktor , becauseDiktor never had been or ever would be anyone but himself.

In review, it seemed obvious that he must beDiktor, there were so many bits of evidence pointing to it.

And yet it had not been obvious. Each point of similarity between himself and theDiktor , he recalled, had arisen from rational causes-usually from his desire to ape the gross characteristics of the "other" and thereby consolidate his own position of power and authority before the "other"Diktor showed up. For that reason he had established himself in the very apartments that "Diktor" had used-so that they would be "his" first.

To be sure his people called himDiktor , but he had thought nothing of that-they called anyone who ruled by that t.i.tle, even the little sub-chieftains who were his local administrators.

He had grown a beard, such asDiktor had worn, partly in imitation of the "other" man's precedent, but more to set him apart from the hairless males of the Forsaken Ones. It gave him prestige, increased his tabu . He fingered his bearded chin. Still, it seemed strange that he had not recalled that his own present appearance checked with the appearance of "Dik-tor." "Diktor" had been an older man. He himself was only thirty-two, ten here, twenty-twothere.

Diktorhe had judged to be about forty-five. Perhaps an unprejudiced witness would believe himself to be that age. His hair and beard were shot with gray-had been, ever since the year he had succeeded too well in spying on the High Ones. His face was lined.Uneasy lies the head and so forth. Running a country, even a peaceful Arcadia, will worry a man, keep him awake nights.

Not that he was complaining-it had been a good life, a grand life, and it beat anything the ancient past had to offer.

In any case, he had been looking for a man in his middle forties, whose face he remembered dimly after ten years and whose picture he did not have. It had never occurred to him to connect that blurred face with his present one.Naturally not.

But there were other little things.Arma, for example. He had selecteda likely-looking la.s.s some three years back and made her one of his household staff, renaming herArma in sentimental memory of the girl he had once fancied. It was logically necessary that they were the same girl, not twoArmas , but one.

But, as he recalled her, the "first"Arma had been much prettier.

H-m-m-m-it must behis own point of view that had changed. He admitted that he had had much more opportunity to become bored with exquisite female beauty than his young friend over there on the floor. He recalled with a chuckle how he had found it necessary to surround himself with an elaborate system oftabus to keep the nubile daughters of his subjects out of his hair-most of the time. He had caused a particular pool in the river adjacent to the palace to be dedicated to his use in order that he might swim without getting tangled up in mermaids.

The man on the floor groaned, but did not open his eyes.

Wilson, theDiktor , bent over him but made noeffort to revive him. That the man was not seriously injured he had reason to be certain. He did not wish him to wake up until he had had time to get his own thoughts entirely in order.

For he had work to do, work which must be done meticulously, without mistake.Everyone, he thought with a wry smile, makes plans to provide for their future.

He was about to provide for his past.

There was the matter of the setting of the Time Gate when he got around to sending his early self back.

When he had tuned in on the scene in his room a few minutes ago, he had picked up the action just before his early self had been knocked through. In sending him back he must make a slight readjustment in the time setting to an instant around two o'clock of that particular afternoon. That would be simple enough; he need only search a short sector until he found his early self alone and working at his desk.

But the Time Gate had appeared in that room at a later hour; he had just causedit to do so. He felt confused.

Wait a minute, now-if he changed the setting of the time control, the Gate would appear in his room at the earlier time, remain there and simply blend into its "reappearance" an hour or so later. Yes, that was right. To a person in the roomit would simply be as if the Time Gate had been there all along, from about two o'clock.

Which it had been.He would see to that.

Experienced as he was with the phenomena exhibited by the Time Gate, it nevertheless required a strong and subtle intellectual effort to think other than in durational terms, to take aneternal viewpoint.

And there was the hat. He pickedit up and tried it on. It did not fit very well, no doubt because he was wearing his hair longer now. The hat mustbe placed where it would be found-Oh, yes, in the control booth.And the notebook,too.

The notebook, the notebook-Mm-rn-m-Soruethingfunny, there.When the notebook he had stolen had become dog-eared and tatteredalmost to illegibility some four years back, he had carefully recopied its contents in a new notebook-to refresh his memory of English rather than from any need for it as a guide. The worn-out notebook he had destroyed; it was the new one he intended to obtain, and leave to be found.

In that case,there never had beentwonotebooks.The one he had nowwould become, after being taken through the Gate to a point ten years in the past, the notebook from which he had copied it. They were simply different segments of the same physical process, manipulated by means of the Gate to run concurrently, side by side, for a certain length of time.

As he had himself-one afternoon.

He wished that he had not thrown away the worn-out notebook: If hehad it at hand, he could compare them and convince himself that they were identical save for the wear and tear of increasing entropy.

But when had he learned the language, in order that he might prepare such a vocabulary? To be sure, when he copiedithe thenknewthe language-copying had not actually been necessary.

But hehadcopied it.

The physical process he had all straightened out in his mind, but the intellectual process it represented was completely circular. His older selfhad taught his younger self a language which the older self knew because the younger self, after being taught, grew up to be the older self and was, therefore, capable of teaching.

But where had it started?

Which comes first, the hen or the egg?

You feed the rats to the cats, skin the cats, and feed the carca.s.ses of the cats to the ratswho are in turn fed to the cats.The perpetual motion fur farm.

If G.o.d created the world, who created G.o.d?

Who wrote the notebook? Who started the chain?

He felt the intellectual desperation of any honest philosopher. He knew that he had about as much chance of understanding such problems as a collie has of understanding how dog food gets into cans.

Applied psychol-ogy was more his size-which reminded him that there were certain books which his early self would find very useful in learning how to deal with thepolitical affairs of the country he was to run. He made a mental note to make a list.

The man on the floor stirred again, sat up. Wilson knew that the time had come when he must insure his past. He was not worried; he felt the sure confidence of the gambler who is "hot," whoknows what the next roll of the dice will show.

He bent over his alter ego. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"I guess so," the younger man mumbled. He put his hand to his b.l.o.o.d.y face. "My head hurts."

"I should think it would," Wilson agreed. "You came through head over heels. I think you hit your head when you landed."

His younger self did not appear fully to comprehend the words at first. He looked around dazedly, as if to get his bearings. Presently he said, "Came through? Came through what?"

"The Gate, of course," Wilson told him. He nodded his head toward the Gate, feeling that the sight of it would orient the still groggy younger Bob.

Young Wilson looked over his shoulder in the direction indicated, sat up with a jerk, shuddered and closed his eyes. He opened them again after what seemed to be a short period of prayer, looked again, and said, "Did I come through that?"

"Yes," Wilson a.s.sured him.

"Where am I?"

"In the Hall of the Gate in the High Palace ofNorkaal .But what is more important," Wilson added, "is when you are. You have gone for-ward a little more than thirty thousand years."

The knowledge did not seem to rea.s.sure him. He got up and stumbled toward the Gate. Wilson put a restraining hand on his shoulder. "Where are you going?"

"Back!"

"Not so fast." He did not dare let him go back yet, not until the Gate had been reset. Besides he was still drunk-his breath was staggering. "You will go back all right-I give you my word on that. But let me dress your wounds first. And you should rest. I have some explanations to make to you, and there is an errand you can do for me when you get back- to our mutual advantage. There is a great future in store for you and me, my boy-a great future!"

A great future!