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"She knows I've come," I said, "and if there is a row, and questions asked, she may say that she saw me."
"Nonsense! she'll never hear about it," I said, and, running into the dark stable, I stopped short, for I fancied there was a sound overhead; but I heard no more, and, thinking it was fancy, I ran to the steps, climbed up, and was crossing the floor when I heard a faint rustling in a heap of straw at the far end, in the darkest corner of the loft.
"Rats," I said to myself, as I went on to the place where the big bin stood under a little window, pa.s.sed it, and reached up to take the key from the beam upon which it was always laid, the simplicity of the hiding-place making it all the more secure.
To my utter astonishment, the key was not there, but a second glance showed me that it was in the padlock.
"Been up here and forgot to lock it," I said to myself. "All the better for me. Some one else may have been up, and done it through his leaving the key there."
I laughed to myself as I took the padlock out and threw open the bin, with the intention of having what I called a game.
This was to consist in my arranging the various stuffed creatures in as comical a way as I could; and my first thought was to take the rabbit, alter its position a little, and lay it upon an extemporised bed, with the doctor--the owl--holding one paw to feel its pulse, while all the other creatures looked on.
"What shall be the matter with him?" I thought. Then directly--"I know: all his stuffing come out."
I seized the owl, and found that I could easily twist the wire down its leg, so that the claw would appear to be grasping the rabbit's wrist, while the sage-looking bird stood on one leg; and, satisfied in this, I was about to arrange the jay and other birds, but thought I would do the rabbit first, and, taking it up, I thrust my hand in the orifice made in the skin when taking it off, and pulled out a good piece of tow, meaning to leave it hanging down. Then I thrust my hand in again, and drew it out in astonishment, for I had taken hold of something hard and flat and round. What it was I could not see; it was too much surrounded by the tow. Then I laughed.
"Why, it's a big leaden nicker!" I said to myself. "Why did he put that in? I know. There are holes in it to fix wire to, and--" I turned cold and queer the next instant, as I divided the soft tow, and stood staring down, with the light from the little window falling full upon that which I held in my hand. Then I felt puzzled and confused; but the next minute I uttered quite a sob, for light flashed into my brain: memories of what I had so often heard my chosen companion say, the envy he had displayed, and the way in which all at once Burr major's watch had disappeared from his jacket in the cricket-field,--all came back with a force that seemed to cause a singing noise in my ears, for here before me was the end of it all,--the explanation of the disappearance of the watch, which was now lying in my hand, with the hands close together and pointing to twelve. At last uttering a sound that was almost a groan, I muttered,--
"Oh, Tom, Tom, how could you do such a thing as this?"
The feeling of confusion came back like a thick mist floating over me, and I turned the watch over in my hand two or three times, asking myself what I should do.
Should I take it to Burr major, and say I had picked it up? Should I go and confide in Mr Hasnip? Should I go straight to Tom Mercer and accuse him of taking it?
No, no, no: I felt that I could do none of these things, and in a dreary, slow, helpless way, I thrust the watch back in amongst the tow, rammed more in after it, and then stood, after laying the rabbit down, asking myself what I should do next, while a poignant sense of misery and wretchedness seemed to make my position unbearable.
It all came back now: how, ever since Burr major had that watch, Mercer had been envious, and longed for it. Scarcely a day had pa.s.sed that he had not said something about his longings; and now here it was plainly enough before me: he had gone on coveting that wretched toy till the desire had been too strong for him, and it had ended in my manly, quaint, good-tempered school-fellow descending to become a contemptible pickpocket and thief.
The blood flushed up into my cheeks and made them burn, while my fists clenched hard, and I thought to myself that I had learned boxing for some purpose.
"I can't go and tell tales of him," I said. "I can't betray him, for it would disgrace him for ever. He would be expelled from the school, and, shamefaced and miserable, go home to his father and mother, who would be nearly broken-hearted. No. I can't tell."
Then I felt that, painful as it would be to confess all, and speak against the boy I had grown to care for as if he had been my brother, I ought to go straight to the Doctor and tell him. It was my duty, and it might act beneficially for Tom Mercer. The severe punishment might be such a lesson to him that it would check what otherwise might prove to be a downward course. If I were silent, he might do such a thing again, as this had been so easy; and get worse and worse. I must--I ought to tell, I said to myself; and then, as I dropped on my knees by the old bin, and rested my head on the edge, the hot tears came to my eyes, and my misery seemed greater than I could bear, for I felt it as bitterly as if I myself had been led into this disgraceful crime.
I rose again with a clearer view of what I should do under the circ.u.mstances, for I had been having a terrible fight with bewildering thoughts; now thinking I would lock up the bin and go away as if I had not found the watch, and do nothing but separate myself from my school-fellow, now going in the opposite direction, in which I felt quite determined.
"That's it," I said to myself. "I shall break with Tom Mercer for ever, but I'll tell him why. We've learned to box for something, and perhaps he'll be best man. No, he won't. I shall have right on my side, and as he is guilty he will feel cowardly. I will thrash him till he can hardly crawl, and then, when he is weak and miserable, I'll tell him all I have found out, and make him go and put the watch back where Eely can find it, and then it will never be known who took it, and Mercer will not be expelled in disgrace as a common thief. Why, it would break his mother's heart!"
"Yes, that will be the way," I thought, feeling clearer and more relieved now. "It shall be a secret, but I will punish him as severely as I can, and though we shall never be friends again, I'll try hard to check him from going downward like that, and though he will hate me for what I have done, he will thank me some day when he has grown up to be a man."
I closed the lid of the bin and thrust the top of the padlock through the staple and locked it; withdrew the key, and had raised my hand mechanically to put it in its old hiding-place on the beam, but I altered my mind.
"No," I thought; "I'll bring him up here, and give him the key then, and make him open the bin and take out the watch before I thrash him. It shall be a lesson for him from beginning to end. He must have some shame in him, and I want him to feel it, so that he can never forget it again."
I thrust the key into my pocket and went down into the yard. It was a glorious sunny afternoon when I went up into the loft, and the weather had not changed; but everything seemed to be overclouded and wretched now, as I started off for the play-field, determined to waste no time, but take the culprit to task at once.
I looked about, and could see Burr major, but Mercer was not there, and I crossed to where I could see little Wilson, and asked if he had seen him.
"Senna!" he cried; "yes, I saw him a little while ago. Perhaps he's by the gardens, digging up grubs and things to make physic."
I could not smile then, but went to the gardens. He was not there, and, thinking he might have gone up to our room, I went into the house, and up to the dormitories; but my journey was vain, and I went down again, and once more sought the field, to look all over at the little parties playing cricket, dotted here and there, but no Mercer. To my great surprise, though, I saw d.i.c.ksee talking earnestly to Burr major.
"They've made it up," I thought, and it seemed to me very contemptible and small of Burr major to take up again with a boy who had behaved so despicably to him.
I pa.s.sed pretty near them as I went on across the field, and they both looked at me rather curiously--in a way, in fact, which made me think that they were plotting something against me. Perhaps a fresh fight.
"Well, I don't mind now," I said to myself. "Nothing seems of any consequence but Tom Mercer's act. Where can he be?"
I had another look round, and then saw that Burr major, Hodson, and d.i.c.ksee had gone up to the house together, and directly after they disappeared, while I went on again, asking after Mercer, to find that every one nearly had seen him only a little while before, but they could not tell me where he was gone.
I kept on looking about, though I half suspected that he must have gone off on some little expedition of his own, as it was half holiday; and, at the end of another half-hour, I was about to stand near the gate, to watch for his return, when I caught sight of him, apparently coming from the direction of the yard, as if he had been to the loft.
"Oh, here you are then!" he cried, as, after catching sight of me, he ran to meet me, and began vehemently. "I've been hunting everywhere for you."
"I have been hunting everywhere for you," I said coldly.
"Have you? Well, look here, Frank, I was up in the loft last night, and I forgot to lock up the bin."
It was just as I thought.
"I forgot it once or twice before, thinking about something else; and now some one has been and locked it up, and taken the key away."
"Indeed?" I said coldly.
"Yes. Don't look at a fellow that way. I didn't say you'd taken it, because, of course, if you had, you would have put it up on the beam. I say, who could it have been?"
"Ah! who could it have been?" I said.
"What's the matter with you? How queer you are! I tell you, I don't think it was you, but old fatty d.i.c.ksee; I've seen him sneaking about the yard a good deal lately, watching me, and he must have found out where we kept the key, and he has nailed it for some lark, or to tease me. Yes, that's it. You see if, next time we go, we don't find a dead dog, or a dead cat, or something nasty, tucked in the bin. Some of 'em served me that way before, when Bob Hopley's old donkey died, and they put in its head. What shall we do?"
"Nothing," I said. "I have the key."
"You have? Oh, I am glad!"
"I went up and found the key there, so I locked it and put it in my pocket."
"Why didn't you put it in the old place, and not give me all this fright?"
"You know," I said solemnly.
"I--er--er--know--er--er--" he drawled tragically. "Dear me, how grand we are!" he added, with a forced laugh. "No, I don't know."
"Then come up there with me, and I'll show you," I said fiercely.
"Oh, sir--no, sir--please, sir--don't, sir--I, sir--Oh, sir--I won't do so any more, sir. Don't take me up there, sir, and punch my head, sir."
"Don't play the fool, but come along with me."