Bundling; Its Origin, Progress and Decline in America Part 4

18. Under pretense of self defense, Others will scold and say, An honest maid is chaste abed As any other way.

19. But where's the man that fire can Into his bosom take, Or go through coals on his foot soles And not a blister make?

20. Temptation's way has led astray The likeliest of you all, And yet you'r found on slippery ground, And think you cannot fall.

21. A female meek, with blushing cheek, Seized in some lover's arms, Has oft grown weak with Cupid's heat And lost her virgin charms.

22. But last of all, up speaks romp Moll And pleads to be excused, For how can she e'er married be, If bundling be refused?

23. What strange mistake young women, To hope for sparks this way!

Your fond bold acts can't lay a tax That men will ever pay.

24. So cheap and free some women be, That men are cloyed with sweet, As horse or cow starve at the mow With fodder under feet.

25. 'Tis therefore vain yourselves to screen, The practice is accurst, It is condemned by G.o.d and man, The pious and the just.

26. Should you go on, the day will come, When Christ your Judge will say, In _bundles_ bind each of this kind, And cast them all away.

27. Down deep in h.e.l.l there let them dwell, And bundle on that bed; There burn and roll without control, 'Till all their l.u.s.ts are fed.

The evidence presented in the preceding pages, establishes, as we think, the following facts:

1st. That the custom, so far as it pertained to the American States, had its origin as a matter of convenience and necessity.

2d. That in all stages of its history it was chiefly confined to the humbler cla.s.ses of society.

3d. That its prevalence may be said to have closed with the eighteenth century.

It is our opinion that it came nearest to being a universal custom from 1750 to 1780, and that it was, at all times, regarded by the better cla.s.ses as a serious evil, and was no more countenanced by them then the frequenting of grog shops is by the better cla.s.s of the present day.

This opinion is corroborated by the remarks of several old persons whom we have consulted as to their recollections of the custom. Among these, Mr. B., of East Haddam, Ct., now in his 95th year, says that he well remembers it; that it could not be called general, though frequent. It was not practiced among the more intelligent, educated cla.s.ses, nor among those who lived in large, well warmed houses. He says it was not the fashion to bundle with any chap who might call on a girl, but that it was a special favor, granted only to a favorite lover, who might consider it a proof of the high regard which the damsel had for him; in short, it was _only accepted lovers_ who were thus admitted to the bed of the fair one, and, as he expresses it, only after long continued urging in most cases.[36] He thinks the fashion ceased about 1790 to 1800, and in consequence of education and refinement; and that _no more mischief was done then than there is now-a-days_.

In the same strain, also, spoke the genial Colonel H., a native of Berlin, Ct., born in 1775. He was perfectly conversant with the custom, had known the old ladies, in some cases, to go up stairs before retiring, to see that the bundling couple were comfortable, _tuck 'em up_, and put on more bedclothes! And stoutly a.s.severated his belief "that there wasn't any more mischief done in those days than there is now."

Indeed, all the old people with whom we have conversed on the matter, although in some cases a little unwilling to own that they had ever practiced it themselves, were unanimous in their belief that the abuse of chast.i.ty under the bundling regime was no more frequent than it is now. One old gentleman of whom we have heard, in reply to the half reproachful, half joking question of his grandson, whether he wasn't ashamed, replied: "Why, no! What is the use of sitting up all night and burning out fire and lights, when you could just as well get under kiver and keep warm; and, when you get tired, take a nap and wake up fresh, and go at it again? Why, d--n it, there wasn't half as many b.a.s.t.a.r.ds then as there are now!"[37]

Even within the present century we have found traces of the continuance of the practice of bundling, though the instances are perhaps few, and in some measure exceptional. Until a very late day the custom (as a matter of convenience) was prevalent among the Dutch settlers of Pennsylvania, and it is not improbable that traces may still continue to exist in some of the more remote counties of that state. An old schoolmaster who flourished in Glastenbury, Ct., some twenty years ago, when relating his experiences in teaching in southern Pennsylvania, and speaking of _boarding around_, informed us that when for any reason he did not choose to go to his boarding place for the time being, he was accustomed to stop at a tavern kept by an honest old Dutchman. On one occasion, having asked the landlord if he could stay over night, he was told that he could; and after chatting with his host through the evening, was shown to bed. The landlord set down the candle and had gone out of the room, when our friend noticed the only bed in the room was already occupied, and calling to the host, notified him of the fact; when he cried back: "Oh! dat ish only mine taughter; she won't hurt nopoty," and coolly went his way. And our friend affirmed that he found the daughter not only harmless, but also quite competent to take care of herself.

In New England, we believe that Cape Cod has the dubious honor of holding out the longest against the advance of civilization, bundling, as we have it on good authority, having been practiced there as late as 1827.[38] In Greenwich, New Jersey, it was in vogue in 1816. In the state of New York this custom came under judicial cognizance in the year 1804, when the supreme court held, that although bundling was admitted to be the custom in some parts of the state, it being proven that the parents of the girl, for whose seduction the suit was brought, countenanced her practicing it, they had no right to complain, or ask satisfaction for the consequences, which, the court say, "_naturally followed it_!"[39]

APPENDIX I.

BUNDLING.

[From _The Yankee_ of August 13, 1828, published at Portland, Maine, and edited by John Neal.]

By Rochefoucault, in accounting for the populousness of Ma.s.sachusetts, the New Englanders are charged with bundling.

By Chastelleux, whose book I am not able to refer to now, the charge is repeated, and by half a score of other honest, good natured people, who have made books about the New World.

But, if you enquire into the business, you are pretty sure to be told, inquire where you may, that bundling is not known _there_, but somewhere further back in the woods, or further _down east_. Nay, while in every part of the United States the mult.i.tude speak of bundling as the habit of their neighbors, either east, west, north, or south, where the witches of the country were _located_ about a century ago by the grandfathers of this generation, I, myself, though I have taken trouble enough to learn the truth, have never yet been able to meet with a case of bundling--of bundling proper, I should say--in the United States, nor with but one trustworthy individual who had ever met with so much as one case, and he had met with _but_ one, for which he would give his word.

These things are trifles; but when they are told in books that are read and trusted to throughout Europe; such books, too, as that of the Marquis de Chastelleux, or that of De Rouchefoucault, it becomes a matter of serious inquiry. The truth must be told, whatever it is, for the truth cannot be so bad, whatever it may be, as the untruth which is now repeated of us.

The travels of Chastelleux are translated by an Englishman who had been a long while in this country. The book was undoubtedly written with great care, by a very honest, able man, who had very good opportunities of knowing the truth; and is now set off by another very honest, able man, who was, if anything, rather partial to America--enough to make one wary of trusting the report of any traveler who does not say in so many words, after establishing a character for himself--I saw this; I heard this; I take n.o.body's word for what I now say, etc., etc. It would be easy to enumerate a mult.i.tude of other stories which are now believed in, about the people of the United States, not only by the people of Europe, and of Great Britain particularly, but by the people of the United States themselves. But a dry catalogue of such things would be of little use.

[Here he refers to the charge reported of New Englanders, that that they _eat pork and mola.s.ses--pork and mola.s.ses_ TOGETHER, which is here denied as a ridiculous story. H. R. S.]

They bundle in Wales; bundling there is a serious matter. A lady--a Welsh woman whose word is truth itself--a.s.sured me not long ago, that in her country they do not think a bit the worse, of a girl for antic.i.p.ating her duties, in other words, for being a mother before she has been a wife; they have discovered, perhaps, that cause and effect may be convertible terms; that in such a serious matter, none but a fool would buy a pig in the poke, and that, after all, maternity may lead to marriage there, as marriage leads to maternity here. And why not? for after the establishment of the lying-in hospitals of Russia, the unmarried who bore _children to the state_ were proud of the duty, and were looked upon, we are told, with great favor by the public. She added, also, that she was once at a party made up of sixteen or eighteen females, and females of good characters, all but one or two of whom were mothers, or had been so, before they were married. By Chastelleux and his English translator it would appear to have been very much the same in America about the years 1780-1-2. It is not so now. To have had a child before marriage would now be fatal to a woman here, whatever might be her condition or beauty; fatal in every shape. No man would have courage to marry her; no woman of character would a.s.sociate with her.

Ask the first individual you meet, above the age of twelve or thirteen here, and you may have the name and history of every poor girl in the neighborhood who has been so unlucky as to have a child of her own without leave, perhaps, within a period of six or eight years in a populous neighborhood of twenty or thirty miles about. A widow with half a score of children, forty years ago, if we may believe Dr. Franklin, was an object for the fortune hunters of America. It is not so now. The demand for widows, and for every sort of ready made family is beginning to be over.

That which is called bundling here, though bad enough, is not a twentieth part so bad. Here it is only a mode of courtship. The parties instead of sitting up together, go to bed together; but go to bed with their clothes on. This would appear to be a perilous fashion; but I have been a.s.sured by the individual above, that he had proof to the contrary; for in the particular case alluded to, the only case I ever heard of on good authority, although he was invited by the parents of a pretty girl who stood near him, to bundle with her, and although he _did_ bundle with her, he had every reason to believe, that if he had been very free, or more free than he might have been at a country frolick after they had invited him to escort her, to sit up with her, to dance with her, he would have been treated as a traitor by all parties. He had a fair opportunity of knowing the truth, and he spoke of the matter as if he would prefer the etiquette of sitting up to the etiquette of going to bed with a girl who had been so brought up. He complained of her as a prude. The following communication appears, however, to be one that may be depended on:[40]

"MR. NEAL--If you wish to know the truth about bundling, I think your correspondent V. could tell you all about it--it seems by his confession that he has practiced it on a large scale. I never heard of the thing till about three years ago; an acquaintance of mine had gone to spend the summer with an aunt, who lived somewhere near Sandy river.[41] The following is a copy of one of her letters while there:

"'I should have written sooner, so don't think me unkind, for I have been waiting for something to write about. You requested me to give you a faithful description of the country, the manners and customs of the inhabitants, etc. I have not been here quite three months, but I have been everywhere, seen everything, and got acquainted with everybody. I shall certainly inform you of everything I have seen or heard that is worth relating.

"'You remember how you told me, before I left home, that I was so well looking that if I went so far back in the country I should be very much admired and flattered, and have as many lovers as I could wish for. I find it all true. The people here are remarkably kind and attentive to me; they seem to think that I must be something more than common because I have always lived so near Portland.

"'But I must tell you that since I have been here I have had a beau.

You must know that the young men, _in particular_, are very attentive to me. Well, among these is _one_ who is considered the finest young man in the place, and well he may be--he owns a good farm, which has a large barn upon it, and a neat two story house, all finished. These are the fruits of his own industry; besides he is remarkably good looking, is very large but well-proportioned, and has a good share of what I call real manly beauty. Soon after my arrival here I was introduced to this man--no, not _introduced_ neither, for they never think of such a thing here. They all know me of course, because I am a _stranger_. Some days, three, four, or half a dozen, call to see me, whom I never before saw or heard of; they come and speak to me as if I were an old acquaintance, and I converse with them as freely as if I had always known them from childhood. In this kind of a way I got acquainted with my beau, that _was_; he was very attentive to me from our first meeting. If we happened to be going anywhere in company he was sure to offer me his arm--no, I am wrong again, he never offered me his arm in his life.

If you go to walk with a young man here, instead of offering you his arm as the young men do up our way, he either takes your hand in his, or pa.s.ses one arm around your waist; and this he does with such a provoking, careless honesty, that you cannot for your life be offended with him. Well, I had walked with my Jonathan several times in this kind of style. I confess there was something in him I could not but like--he does not lack for wit, and has a good share of common sense; his language is never studied--he always seems to speak from the heart. So when he asked what sort of a companion he would make, I very candidly answered, that I thought he would make a very agreeable one. "I think just so of you," said he, "and it shall not be my fault," he continued, "if we are not companions for life."

"We shall surely make a bargain," said he, after sitting silent a few moments, "so we'll _bundle_ to-night." "_Bundle_ what?" I asked.

"_We_ will bundle together," said he; "you surely know what I mean."

I know that our farmers bundle _wheat_, _cornstalks_ and _hay_; do you mean that you want me to help you bundle any of these?" inquired I. "I mean that I want you to stay with me to-night! It is the custom in this place, when a man stays with a girl, if it is warm weather, for them to throw themselves on the bed, outside the bed clothes; if the weather is cold, they crawl under the clothes, then if they have anything to _say_, they say it--when they get tired of talking they go to sleep; this is what we call bundling--now what do you call it in your part of the world?" "We have no such works,"

answered I; "not amongst respectable people, nor do I think that any people would, that either thought themselves respectable, or wished to be thought so."

"'Don't be too severe upon us, Miss ----, I have always observed that those who _make believe_ so much modesty, have in reality but little. I always act as I feel, and speak as I think. I wish you to do the same, but have none of your make-believes with me--you smile--you begin to think you have been a little too scrupulous--you have no objection to bundling _now_, have you?" "Indeed I have." "I am not to be trifled with; so, if you refuse, I have done with you forever." "Then be done as quick as you please, for I'll not bundle with you nor with any other man." "Then farewell, proud girl," said he. "Farewell, honest man," said I, and off he went sure enough.

"'I have since made inquiries about _bundling_, and find that it is _really_ the custom here, and that they think no more harm of it, than we do our way of a young couple sitting up together. I have known an instance, since I have been here, of a girl's taking her sweetheart to a neighbor's house and asking for a bed or two to lodge in, or rather to _bundle_ in. They had company at her father's, so that their beds were occupied; she thought no harm of it. She and her family are respectable.

"'Grandmother says bundling was a very common thing in our part of the country, in old times; that most of the first settlers lived in log houses, which seldom had more than one room with a fire place; in this room the old people slept, so if one of their girls had a sweetheart in the winter she must either sit with him in the room where her father and mother slept, or take him into her sleeping room. She would choose the latter for the sake of being alone with him; but sometimes when the cold was very severe, rather than freeze to death, they would crawl under the bed-clothes; and this, after a while, became a habit, a custom, or a fashion. The man that I am going to send this by, is just ready to start, so I cannot stop to write more now. In my next I'll give you a more particular account of the people here. Adieu.'

"_Mr. Editor_, you may be sure that what is related in the foregoing letter is the truth. I know that there is considerable _other_ information in it, mixed up with _that_ about which you wished to be informed, but I could not very well separate it."

So after all that has been said of the practice of bundling in our country, by foreign writers, travelers, and reviewers--after all the reproach that has been heaped upon us, now that we are able to get at the plain truth, it appears to be, though certainly a bad practice, not half so bad as the junketing and sitting up courtships that are known elsewhere. Nay, more. Though in the present state of society it is a practice that should be utterly discountenanced everywhere, still it would seem to have grown up out of the peculiar circ.u.mstances of our first settlers; to be confined _now_ to remote and small districts (for I have heard of only three instances, after all my inquiry); and to be rapidly going out of practice. Yet more; there can be no bad intentions, there can be no evil consequences, where respectable and modest women are not ashamed to acknowledge that they bundle. I am anxious to know the truth for the purpose of correcting both the _misrepresentations_ that are abroad, and the _practices_ that prevail here. Bundling, however, is known in other countries, where they have less excuse, and in Wales where they do _not_ bundle, as I have said before, it is no reproach for a woman to have had a child before marriage. It was so in Russia after Catharine established her lying-in hospitals.

In the next number of _The Yankee_ (August 20th) there is the following editorial paragraph:

BUNDLING.

There is a great outcry just now about the paper on bundling which was in the last _Yankee_. Now this very outcry proves the want of the very paper alluded to. The article is about bundling; and people who imagine bundling to be what it is not, a highly improper and unchaste familiarity, are offended with it; but the very purpose of that paper is to show that bundling is not what it is believed to be, that it is neither so common nor so bad, not a fiftieth part so bad as people have imagined.