Bundling; Its Origin, Progress and Decline in America Part 1

Bundling; Its Origin, Progress and Decline in America.

by Henry Reed Stiles.

PREFATORY.

In the _History and Genealogies of Ancient Windsor, Conn._, published in 1859, speaking of the influence of the old French wars upon the religious, moral and social life of New England, I used this language:

"Then came war, and young New England brought from the long Canadian campaigns, stores of loose camp vices and recklessness, which soon flooded the land with immorality and infidelity. The church was neglected, drunkenness fearfully increased, and social life was sadly corrupted. _Bundling_--that ridiculous and pernicious custom which prevailed among the young to a degree which we can scarcely credit--sapped the fountain of morality and tarnished the escutcheons of thousands of families."

Hereupon there came a buzzing around my ears. Divers good sons of Connecticut winced under the soft impeachment of having a bundling ancestry, and intimated that my sketch of society in the olden times was somewhat overdrawn. In 1861, an esteemed antiquarian friend in Connecticut wrote me as follows: "Some of your friends feel that, in your _History of Windsor_, you showed too much inclination to malign, or at least ridicule, Connecticut inst.i.tutions, though I think none of them accuse you of malice in the matter, and they fear that this subject of bundling cannot be ventilated without endangering the fair fame of old Connecticut."

Upon that hint I speak. Although born in the city of New York, I am the son of Connecticut parents, and proud to trace my descent through six generations of honest, hard-working, G.o.d-fearing Connecticut yeomanry.

By the mere accident of birth I cannot feel myself absolved from that allegiance to the Wooden Nutmeg State, which is imposed upon me by the ties of ancestry, of relationship, of youthful a.s.sociations, and last, not least, by the deep interest which I have taken in the history of one of its eldest-born towns. I am, indeed, at this day, to all intents and purposes, as wholly and truly a Connecticut man as if born within her borders; and as proud of her past, as hopeful of her future, and as jealous of her reputation as any one could desire. I trust, therefore, that I may be allowed to disclaim any "inclination to malign, or at least ridicule Connecticut inst.i.tutions," a task which, in my case, would savor of ingrat.i.tude, and which I should consider unworthy of my humble pen.

I cannot but think, also, that those who have found, or think that they have found, an inimical design in any pleasantries in which I may have indulged while describing the customs and manners of by-gone days--have betrayed a _thin-skinnedness_, and an ignorance of the true glory of Connecticut history, when they imagine that her fair fame can be seriously tarnished by the fly-specks of certain customs--at no time without their vigorous opponents--and long since rendered obsolete by the march of improvement.

The fun of the thing, however, is, that the sentence which has thus called forth the animadversions of the critics, will be found, with its context, on closer examination, to have applied to the _New England Colonies_, and not to Connecticut alone! In their haste to vindicate the land of steady habits, they seem to have a.s.sumed more than their share of the reproach involved in my simple historical statement.

As for myself, I am no believer in the theory that the objectionable portions of history should be kept in the background, and that only the bright side should be turned towards the world. If, as one has happily said, "history is experience teaching by example," we most surely need to have both sides fairly presented to us before we can properly extract therefrom the lesson of good or of evil which is therein taught. It is unnecessary to pursue the argument further. Suffice it to say, that perfection is as little to be expected in the history of a state or a community, as in the life of an individual. As to our ancestors, we must take them as history shows them to us--"men of like pa.s.sions with ourselves," and "in all respects tempted as we are," yet neither worse, nor, again, very much purer or better than ourselves.

In this spirit I have undertaken to trace, in the following pages, the origin, progress and decline of the custom of bundling in America, together with such facts as clearly prove that it was not confined to this continent, but prevalent in various countries of the world.

"HONI SOIT QUI MAL Y PENSE."

H. R. S.

BUNDLING.

BUNDLING. "A man and a woman lying on the same bed with their clothes on; an expedient practiced in America on a scarcity of beds, where, on such occasions, husbands and parents frequently permitted travellers to _bundle_ with their wives and daughters."--_Grose, Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue_.

BUNDLE, _v.i._ "To sleep on the same bed without undressing; applied to the custom of a man and woman, especially lovers, thus sleeping."--_Webster, 1864_.

BUNDLE, _v.n._ "To sleep together with the clothes on."--_Worcester, 1864_.

Bundling, as may be seen from the above quoted definitions, was practiced in two forms: first, between _strangers_, as a simple domestic make-shift arrangement, often arising from the necessities of a new country, and by no means peculiar to America; and, secondly, between _lovers_, who shared the same couch, with the mutual understanding that innocent endearments should not be exceeded. It was, however, in either case, a custom of convenience.

We may notice, in this connection, that it is very common, even at the present day, in New England, to speak of one as having "bundled in with his clothes on," if he goes to bed without undressing; as, for instance, if he came home drunk, or feeling slightly ill, lay down in the daytime, or in a cold night found the blankets too scanty.

The point which first claims our attention in the discussion of this custom, is its probable _origin_, and its _antiquity_ in

THE BRITISH ISLES.

For, though British travelers have uniformly endeavored to fix the odium of this custom upon us their transatlantic cousins, as being peculiarly "An American inst.i.tution," it is, nevertheless, an indisputable fact that bundling has for centuries flourished within their own kingdom. For what else, in fact, was that universal custom of promiscuous sleeping together which prevailed among the ancient Britons at the time of the Roman conquest, and which led Caesar to consider them as polyandrous polygamists, and other ancient writers to give them an unenviable character for morality?[1] Bundling, of course! in its rudest aboriginal form.

As to its moral aspects, being more charitably inclined towards our British friends than they oftentimes are to us, we are willing to accept Logan's defense of their ancestors. "The custom," he says, "which continued until lately in some parts, and yet exists among a few of the rudest, who sleep altogether on straw or rushes, according to the general ancient practice, there is reason to believe, led to the aspersion cast on the British and Irish tribes. How natural it must have been for a casual observer to suppose, from seeing men and women reposing in the same place, that the marriage rites were not in force.

To judge of the ancient inhabitants by the rudest of the present Highlanders and Irish, who often sleep in the same apartment, and are sometimes exposed to each other in a state of semi-nudity, we should not come to a conclusion unfavorable to their morality,[2] for this mode of life is not productive of that conjugal infidelity which St. Jerome and others insinuate as prevalent among the old Scots. * * * Nations that are even in a savage state are sometimes found more sensitive on that point of honor than nations more advanced in civilization; and all, perhaps, that can be admitted is, that certain formalities may have been practiced by the Britons, from which the _bundling_ of the Welsh, and the _hand-fasting_ in some parts of Scotland, are derived. The conversation which took place between the Empress Julia and the wife of a Caledonian chief, as related by Xiphilin, certainly evinces a grossness and indelicacy in the amours of the British ladies, if true; but it appears to be a reply where wit and reproof were more aimed at than truth. The case of the Empress Cartismandua shows the nice feeling of the Britons as to the propriety of female conduct. The respect of the Germans for their females, and the severity with which they visited a deviation from virtue, have been described; and the further testimony of Tacitus may be adduced, who says that but very few of the greatest dignity chose to have more than one wife, and when they did it was merely for the honor of alliance. It may be here stated that the Gaels have no word to express cuckold, and that prost.i.tutes were, by Scots'

law, like that of the ancient Germans, thrown into deep wells; and a woman was not permitted to complain of an a.s.sault if she allowed more than one night to elapse before the accusation."--_Logan's Scottish Gael_, 5th Am. edition, p. 472.[5]

Indeed, whatever may have been the real state of morality among the ancient Scotch and Irish--and it is quite probable that it has been unfairly depicted by casual and prejudiced observers--the ancient custom of bundling, which has been handed down from earliest times, has not greatly contaminated their descendants of the present day. For, whatever their national vices, the Scotch and Irish of our day maintain a character for chast.i.ty superior to that of many of their more fortunate and more civilized neighbors. Bundling, as now practiced in these kingdoms, is merely a matter arising from the ignorance, or the poverty of the inhabitants; and, while not salutary in its moral or physical influence, is, at all events, less abused than we might reasonably expect.

In regard to

WALES.

We learn from Woodward's admirable history of that kingdom, the following facts concerning the domestic habits of its people in the twelfth century:

"At night a bed of rushes was laid down along one side of the room, covered with a coa.r.s.e kind of cloth, made in the country, called _brychan_; and all the household lay down on this bed in common, without changing their dresses. The fire was kept burning through the night, and the sleepers maintained their warmth by lying closely; and when, by the hardness of their couch, one side was wearied, they would get up and sit by the fire awhile, and then lie down again on the other side. It is to this custom of promiscuous sleeping, that some of the worst habits of the Welsh at the present day may be ascribed; and from the same custom which their forefathers, the ancient Britons, practiced, arose Caesar's supposition that they were polyandrous polygamists."

These habits, which were a matter of necessity with the ancient Welsh, have become converted, by the lapse of time, among their descendants of the present day, into an amatory custom precisely similar to that practiced formerly in New England.[6]

A tourist through Wales, in the year 1797,[7] thus speaks of the Welsh _bundling_: "And here, amongst the usages and customs, I must not omit to inform you that what you have, perhaps, often heard, without believing, respecting the _mode of courtship_ amongst the Welsh peasants, is true. The lower order of people do actually carry on their love affairs in bed, and what would extremely astonish more polished lovers, they are carried on honorably, it being, at least, as usual for the Pastoras of the mountains to go from the bed of courtship to the bed of marriage as unpolluted and maidenly as the Chloes of fashion; and yet you are not to conclude that this proceeds from their being less susceptible of the _belle-pa.s.sion_ than their betters; or that the cold air which they breathe has 'froze the genial current of their souls.' By no means; if they cannot boast the voluptuous languor of an Italian sky, they glow with the bracing spirit of a more invigorating atmosphere. I really took some pains to investigate this curious custom, and after being a.s.sured, by many, of its veracity, had an opportunity of attesting its existence with my own eyes. The servant maid of the family I visited in Caernarvonshire, happened to be the object of a young peasant, who walked eleven long miles every Sunday morning to favor his suit, and regularly returned the same night through all weathers, to be ready for Monday's employment in the fields, being simply a day laborer. He usually arrived in time for morning service, which he constantly attended, after which he escorted his Dulcinea home to the house of her master, by whose permission they as constantly pa.s.sed the succeeding hour in bed, according to the custom of the country. These tender sabbatical preliminaries continued without interruption near two years, when the treaty of alliance was solemnized, and, so far from any breach of articles happening in the meantime, it is most likely that it was considered by both parties as a matter of course, without exciting any other idea. On speaking to my friend on the subject, he observed that, though it certainly appeared a dangerous mode of making love, he had seen so few _living_ abuses of it, during six and thirty years'

residence in that country, where it nevertheless had always, more or less, prevailed, he must conclude it was as innocent as any other. One proof of its being _thought_ so by the parties, is the perfect ease and freedom with which it is done; no awkwardness or confusion appearing on either side; the most well-behaved and decent young woman going into it without a blush, and they are by no means deficient in modesty. What is pure in idea is always so in conduct, since bad actions are the common consequence of bad thoughts; and though the better sort of people treat this ceremony as a barbarism, it is very much to be doubted whether more _faux pas_ have been committed by the Cambrian boors in this _free access_ to the bed chambers of their mistresses, than by more fashionable Strephons and their nymphs in groves and shady bowers. The power of habit is perhaps stronger than the power of pa.s.sion, or even of the charms which inspire it; and it is sufficient, almost, to say a thing is the _custom of a country_, to clear it from any reproach that would attach to an innovation. Were it the practice of a few only, and to be gratified by stealth, there would, from the strange construction of human nature, be more cause of suspicion; but being ancient, general, and carried on without difficulty, it is probably as little dangerous as a _tete a tete_ in a drawing-room, or in any other full dress place where young people meet to say soft things to each other."

In an antiquarian tour by the Rev. W. Bingley, in 1804,[8] we also find the following description of this custom: "The peasantry of part of Caernarvonshire, Anglesea, and Merionethshire, adopt a mode of _courtship_ which, till within the last few years, was scarcely even heard of in England. It is the same that is common in many parts of America, and termed by the inhabitants of that country, _bundling_. The lover steals, under the shadow of the night, to the bed of the fair one, into which (retaining an essential part of his dress) he is admitted without any shyness or reserve. Sat.u.r.day or Sunday nights are the princ.i.p.al times when this courtship takes place, and on these nights the men sometimes walk from a distance of ten miles or more to visit their favorite damsels. This strange custom seems to have originated in the scarcity of fuel, and in the unpleasantness of sitting together in the colder part of the year without a fire. Much has been said of the innocence with which these meetings are conducted, but it is a very common thing for the consequence of the interview to make its appearance in the world within two or three months after the marriage ceremony has taken place. The subject excites no particular attention among the neighbors, provided the marriage be made good before the living witness is brought to light. Since this custom is entirely confined to the laboring cla.s.ses of the community, it is not so pregnant with danger as, on a first supposition, it might seem. Both parties are so poor that they are necessarily constrained to render their issue legitimate, in order to secure their reputation, and with a mode of obtaining a livelihood."

Another traveller[9] also mentions "a singular custom that is said to prevail in Wales, relating to their mode of courtship, which is declared to be carried on in bed; and, what is more extraordinary, it is averred that the moving tale of love is agitated in that situation without endangering a breach in the preliminaries." Referring to Mr. Pratt's account of the custom, before quoted, he proceeds to remark: "Our companion, like every one else that we spoke with in Wales on the subject, at once denied the existence of this custom: that maids in many instances admitted male bed-fellows, he did not doubt; but that the procedure was sanctioned by _tolerated custom_ he considered a gross misrepresentation. Yet in Anglesea and some parts of North Wales, where the original simplicity of manners and high sense of chast.i.ty of the natives is retained, he admitted _something of the kind_ might appear.

In those thinly inhabited districts a peasant often has several miles to walk after the hours of labor, to visit his mistress; those who have reciprocally entertained the _belle pa.s.sion_ will easily imagine that before the lovers grow tired of each other's company the night will be far enough advanced; nor is it surprising that a tender-hearted damsel should be disinclined to turn her lover out over bogs and mountains until the dawn of day. The fact is, that under such circ.u.mstances she admits a _consors lecti_, but not in _nudatum corpus_. In a lonely Welsh hut this bedding has not the alarm of ceremony; from sitting, or perhaps lying, on the hearth, they have only to shift their quarters to a heap of straw or fern covered with two or three blankets in a neighboring corner. The practice only takes place with _this view of accommodation_."

Still another glimpse of this favorite Welsh custom is presented by a tourist in 1807.[10] He says:

"One evening, at an inn where we halted, we heard a considerable bustle in the kitchen, and, upon enquiry, I was let into a secret worth knowing. The landlord had been scolding one of his maids, a very pretty, plump little girl, for not having done her work; and the reason which she alleged for her idleness was, that her master having locked the street door at night, had prevented her lover enjoying the rights and delights of _bundling_, an amatory indulgence which, considering that it is sanctioned by custom, may be regarded as somewhat singular, although it is not exclusively of Welsh growth. The process is very simple; the gay Lothario, when all is silent, steals to the chamber of his mistress, who receives him in bed, but with the modest precaution of wearing her under petticoat, which is always fastened at the bottom--not unfrequently, I am told, by a sliding knot. It may astonish a London gallant to be told that this extraordinary experiment often ends in downright wedlock--the knot which cannot slide. A gentleman of respectability also a.s.sured me that he was obliged to indulge his female servants in these nocturnal interviews, and that too at all hours of the night, otherwise his whole family would be thrown into disorder by their neglect; the carpet would not be dusted, nor would the kettle boil. I think this custom should share the fate of the northern Welsh goats.

* * * * Habit has so reconciled the mind to the comforts of _bundling_, that a young lady who entered the coach soon after we left Shrewsbury, about eighteen years of age, with a serene and modest countenance, displayed considerable historical knowledge of the custom, without one touch of bashfulness."[11]

Thus much for Wales, where the custom seems to have been entirely confined to the lower cla.s.ses of society, and where we have reason to think it still prevails to some extent to this day.[12]

The same author whom we last quoted also speaks of a "courtship similar to _bundling_, carried on in the islands of Vlie and Wieringen,

IN HOLLAND,

Under the name of _queesting_.[15] At night the lover has access to his mistress after she is in bed; and, upon an application to be admitted upon the bed, which of course is granted, he raises the quilt, or rug, and in this state _queests_, or enjoys a harmless chit-chat with her, and then retires. This custom meets with the perfect sanction of the most circ.u.mspect parents, and the freedom is seldom abused. The author traces its origin to the parsimony of the people, whose economy considers fire and candles as superfluous luxuries in the long winter evenings."

The Hon. Henry C. Murphy of Brooklyn, N. Y., late United States minister at the Hague, has furnished us with the following note in relation to this Nederduitsche custom: "As to its being a Dutch custom, it was so to a limited extent in Holland in former times, and may yet be, though I did not hear of it when I was there. Sewell gives the word _queesten_, or _kweesten_, in his dictionary, printed over a century ago. The word is defined in the dictionary of Wieland, the princ.i.p.al lexicographer in that country, as follows: '_Kweesten_. Upon the islands of Texel and Vlieland[16] they use this word for a singular custom of wooing, by which the doors and windows are left open, and the lover, lying or sitting outside the covering, woos the girl who is underneath.' Sewell confines the custom to certain islands or lands near the sea."

LOVE AND COURTSHIP IN THE 14TH CENTURY.