Broken Shield Part 7

"Evidence," Ashley said, giving Tyler a half smile. "Sorry."

"Can I go now?" Tyler turned not waiting for an answer. Her week sucked, her life sucked and she couldn't wait to go home, pull the covers over her head and try to forget everything. When am I ever going to learn? Tyler slammed her car door. When am I ever gonna learn?

Chapter Fourteen.

Wow, Tyler looks totally different," Kelly said, finishing her report before she pa.s.sed off Ca.s.sie to booking.

Ashley smiled. Tyler did look different. In fact, she looked smokin' hot with her new haircut. If Ashley had a type, the new Tyler was definitely it. But there was something else different about Tyler and Ashley couldn't quite put her finger on it. During the brief interview, if one could call it that, Tyler seemed reserved, almost embarra.s.sed about what had happened with Ca.s.sie. She didn't know Tyler well, but she knew when a victim was hiding something and Tyler Jackson was hiding something.

"Did Tyler seem different to you tonight, Kell?" Ashley questioned.

"Different how?"

"I don't know. I just got a sense that she was hiding something or something wasn't quite right. Maybe it was just me she was avoiding. It wasn't like the last time we saw each other was a good thing."

"You think she's still smarting about the ticket you gave her?" Kelly asked, as she poured something that pa.s.sed for coffee into a paper cup and sat on her desk. "She doesn't usually hold a grudge, but I didn't get a chance to talk to her tonight."

"Hmm."

"What did she say when you questioned her about Ca.s.sie?" Kelly's interest was piqued now. Tyler and she had been friends for a long time, but the hair cut, the silent treatment, and the events of the night were definitely different behavior for Tyler.

"That's just it. She didn't want to talk about it. I told her she needed medical treatment for the bite and the swelling, but she blew me off." Ashley took the offered cup of coffee and continued, "In fact, she didn't want to press charges at all."

"Yeah, that last part sounds like Tyler. She loves 'em in all their forms, and she wouldn't want to see any woman get in trouble, not because of her."

"I don't understand?" Ashley felt like she had stepped into a movie that was half over.

"Tyler hates violence in any form. She'd rather walk out of a restaurant and leave her date sitting there than deal with an outburst or a verbal confrontation. Jill used to tell me that was one of the things that p.i.s.sed her off about Tyler. She never liked to argue, about anything. Period."

"Really? Wow. I wouldn't have guessed that. All that bravado and ego packed into that butch package. Hmm." Ashley was starting to like this Tyler she didn't know.

"Look, don't get me wrong. If you mess with someone she loves, she's a pit bull. But, when it comes to herself, she hates confrontation. Just look at how she acted with you and the ticket incident. She didn't fight it, did she?"

Ashley remembered the ticket and Tyler's pa.s.sive att.i.tude when it came to the whole incident. Tyler never asked for a professional courtesy, she didn't argue with the speed Ashley had put down, and she didn't engage Ashley in anyway. Except when Ashley called her sir. Smiling, Ashley remembered Tyler's face when she looked up from her ticket book. The mistake had been an honest one and she had tried to apologize, hadn't she? Suddenly, Ashley felt like she needed to call Tyler and apologize for her mistake, but that was weeks ago and probably forgotten. At least she hoped it was forgotten.

"Something doesn't make sense. Knowing Tyler like I do, why would she turn Ca.s.sie down?" Kelly asked, looking at Ashley.

"Huh?"

"Ca.s.sie said she was the one that took it personal. That 'who'd be stupid enough to turn down a hottie like her'."

"Well, that's not exactly what she said," Ashley corrected Kelly.

"You know what I mean. I've never seen Tyler turn down any woman who was willing and at least halfway cute. So why tonight?"

"Interesting."

"I'll give her a call later and see what's up. Better yet, I think I'll go by on my way home and talk to her. Besides, I wanna give her c.r.a.p about the new cut." Kelly smirked before taking a sip of her sludge, then grimaced. "s.h.i.t, this stuff must have been made a month ago. Hey! Who makes this s.h.i.t?" Kelly yelled across the squad room, which evoked more than a few wise cracks from the officers on night shift.

"Aw, don't give her a bad time about the hair cut. I think it makes her look s.e.xy." Ashley signed off the last of her report on the evening's events. "Did I just say that out loud? Forget I said anything. Just professional observation."

"Really?" Kelly smiled at her partner, who was blushing all the way to the tips of her ears.

Tyler stepped into the hot spray of the shower hoping it would wash away the remnants of the night. Bracing her hands on either side of the shower head, she let the pulsating spray hammer her body, which was begging for a release from the evening's tensions. Ca.s.sie had started something Tyler would normally finish, but tonight she just wasn't interested. Squeezing shampoo into her hands she ran her fingers through her short hair. Chuckling, she realized she had once again poured too much and the suds ran down her face and neck. Next time she would remember not to squirt so much, but she told herself that every time she showered lately.

Tyler winced as she ran the washrag over her left breast, still tender from Ca.s.sie's torture. Tyler cursed the woman under her breath. The burning on her neck didn't help matters as she let the hot water clear the stinging soap from the bite mark. She could feel her foul mood returning as she turned away to avoid the intense heat on her bruised face and ego. So much for relaxing in a hot shower. Pulling the showerhead out of its holder, Tyler sprayed the shampoo and soap off her back and legs. Trailing the spray up her thigh, she accidentally hit her sensitive c.l.i.t and her body jerked in response. Soaping herself again, she directed the warm spray again at her c.l.i.t and enjoyed the tingle it sent through her body. She hadn't been intimate with anyone for a couple of weeks and her body was letting her know it didn't appreciate the lack of attention.

Closing her eyes, she leaned against the warm, moist tiles of the shower and indulged in the pulsating tempo the showerhead thrummed on her c.l.i.t. She could almost imagine a woman touching her, sliding her fingers over her hardened c.l.i.t, the warm body pressed up against hers. She felt a slow stroke down her thighs, and then the push of a wet p.u.s.s.y against her a.s.s. I think I saw this in a p.o.r.no somewhere, Tyler thought as she kept ma.s.saging her c.l.i.t. I bet those women aren't even lesbians in those things. What's the saying: gay for pay? s.h.i.t! She murmured as the pulsating jets. .h.i.t the right spot. Her body arched from the intense contact and goose b.u.mps sprouted all over her body. Time had been her enemy lately. That and self-pity, but who's asking. Besides, anything that would help her escape tonight was fine by her. Tyler let out a deep sigh. The hot water was turning her skin beet red, but she didn't care. She was just about to do what every woman with a pulsating showerhead did at least once in her life, o.r.g.a.s.m from the d.a.m.n thing. It started off as a slow roll through her body, but the more she tightened her muscles, the quicker the o.r.g.a.s.m came. She felt the tremor start in her v.a.g.i.n.a and finger its way throughout her body. Quickly, Tyler slid two fingers inside and worked the o.r.g.a.s.m. Pumping faster she felt her c.u.n.t clench down on her fingers and stop her progress. At the tips of her fingers was her G spot, so she began rubbing it and felt her body spasm again at the rhythmic pressure. Another quick jerk and she relaxed against the warm tiles, sliding down to the floor.

Tyler buried her face in her crossed arms and began to cry. The turmoil of the week had seeped its way into her soul and she cried for release. She hadn't realized how hard it was to put Jill in a box the first time and now she had done it for a second time this week. Leaving that part of her life in the past where she knew it needed to be was agonizing, but she was resolute in moving on. The incident at the bar though, had thrown her for a loop. Letting Ca.s.sie treat her like she always had was her first mistake. Not stopping the situation from escalating was her second. Trying to change how she lived her life was going to take time, but she didn't have a choice. Not in her mind, not now.

The doorbell caught her by surprise. "Who the f.u.c.k comes by at this late hour?" Tyler complained, turning the water off and grabbing a towel. The persistent ringing announced that whoever was at the door wasn't leaving. "I'm coming, I'm coming."

Looking through the peephole, Tyler sighed and reluctantly opened the door.

"What?" Tyler said, swinging the door wide. She knew it was useless to deny her persistent visitor, so she walked to the couch resigned to the fact that she was in for an a.s.s chewing. "Come on in and make yourself at home."

"G.o.d, Tyler. Nice to see you, too," Kelly said closing the door behind her with a smack.

"Sorry, you caught me at a bad time."

"Oh, do you mean ..." Kelly nodded her head in the direction of the bedroom, "you have company? If that's the case I just go and we can touch base another time." Kelly rose to leave, but Tyler stopped her.

"No, I mean I was just getting out of the shower. Isn't it kind of late for house calls, Officer?" Tyler's voice oozed with condescension.

She knew Kelly would notice the absence of Jill's pictures and wonder what was happening, so she braced herself for the pending questions. She just hoped she was ready for her own response.

"So, you wanna talk about tonight? What happened, Tyler?" Kelly looked first at the bite mark, then the bruised face. "This isn't like you. I mean the bite mark, the slap. I get the 'not wanting to press charges', but I've never seen you let someone do this to you. I'm worried. What's going on?" Kelly studied Tyler's face, waiting for answers.

"Nothing," Tyler said nonchalantly. "Nothing."

"I haven't seen you for weeks."

"I've been busy."

"I can see that," Kelly said looking around the barren room. With the exception of two pictures, the room looked like a cell rather than a home. "You need some plants in here, Tyler."

"Can I get you something to drink, since I know this is going take a while?" Tyler asked, walking to her bedroom and putting on a robe.

"Tyler, don't be that way. I'm worried about you, that's all."

"Yeah, well you don't need to be. I've been taking care of myself just fine without you, Kelly. I'm a big girl now."

"Tyler don't be-"

"Don't be what, Kell? Don't be a player? Don't ride my motorcycle to fast? Don't be mad Jill's gone? Don't what?" Frustration flowed with her words and she knew Kelly wouldn't take them personal. Her bruise throbbed as she felt her blood pressure increase.

Tyler tossed a beer at Kelly, hoping she saw it before it smacked her in the stomach. Twisting hers open she took a long pull and then gently placed the cool bottle against her face as she sat down across from Kelly. Her stomach ached from the stress and she doubted talking to Kelly would make it feel any better. The tension she had succeeded in reducing earlier was returning with a vengeance and now her head was starting to throb. Pushing Kelly away wouldn't solve anything. Besides, Kelly was like a dog with a bone, she wouldn't be put off.

"What's going on, Tyler? The haircut, the pictures, or lack thereof, and the hibernation?" Kelly quizzed Tyler, then took a swig of her beer.

"Hibernation? Is that what you call it?" Tyler smiled.

"Well, what would you call it? You do it when you start thinking about Jill. You bury yourself deep and don't come up for air except to work. So what would you call it?"

"Hibernation works," Tyler said not wanting to argue with Kelly.

"What happened tonight with Ca.s.sie?"

"Is this a professional question or a personal one, Kelly?" Tyler was starting to get edgy now.

"I'm here as your friend, Tyler. As someone who cares about your well-being. Is that okay? Are you still allowing yourself to have friends, Tyler?"

Tyler didn't miss the condescension, or was it concern, in Kelly's voice. Their long history was what allowed Kelly to still be sitting in her house, but Tyler hoped she didn't push it too far tonight. She wasn't in the mood for motherly advice or the hand of the law.

"I changed the rules and Ca.s.sie didn't like it. There, now you know." Tyler took another swallow of her beer and put her feet up on the coffee table.

"Now I know what, Tyler? Ca.s.sie practically said all that, but what I want to know is why?"

"Why what?"

"Okay, let's play twenty questions."

Tyler sat avoiding Kelly's stare. She knew it would just be a matter of minutes before Kelly came unglued, so she waited. The ticking of the cat clock, its eyes moving back and forth with every tick, counted off the time. Another swig and Tyler waited. She looked straight ahead while she adjusted her robe. A long sigh followed by another swig and this time Tyler smirked knowing if she looked at Kelly smoke might start shooting out her ears. She could practically feel the steam rolling off Kelly as she took another swig and sighed again. This time she started to mentally count, one, two, three, four-.

"Tyler, what the f.u.c.k is going on with you? G.o.d d.a.m.n it! Have you finally lost your f.u.c.king mind? Don't you know that we're here for you? All you have to do is ask and we'll be here in a heartbeat."

Raising an eyebrow, Tyler finally looked over at Kelly. "Are you done?"

"I haven't even started, sister." Kelly tilted her bottle and drained it, then slammed it on the coffee table.

"Hey, careful there. You break it you buy it," Tyler said, smiling at her frustrated friend.

"Very funny, Tyler. Very f.u.c.king funny."

"Do you kiss my G.o.dson with that mouth? I hope you wash it out first. I would hate to think he would pick up your bad habits just through contact." Tyler smirked again.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what is going on. So get me another beer and let's talk."

"Oh, girl talk? I love girl talk. What do you want to talk about? That dreamy boy in gym? He is so cute, but don't tell him I said so. He'll get a big head."

Smiling, Tyler walked into the kitchen and retrieved two more beers. She was certain smoke was billowing out Kelly's ears right about now, but she didn't care. If Kelly was going to push her, she was going to earn her paycheck on this one.

"So what do you think about that boy in gym? Isn't he dreamy," Tyler settled her chin in her palm and batted her eyes at Kelly.

"Okay, enough. I get that you don't want to talk to me," Kelly surrendered, throwing her hands up.

"Finally."

"But you have to talk to someone, Tyler, and right now I'm the only someone you have."

"Not true. I have the guys at the station. They listen to me all the time." Tyler was starting to sound like an impetuous child and she knew it, but she hated being bested by Kelly.

"Right. They like hearing about all the women that you-"

"Hey now," Tyler said, putting her finger up. "You kiss my G.o.dson with that mouth. Remember, exposure to toxic fumes kills."

"Ha ha. I bet you think you're funny?"

"I've been told on occasion that I have a good sense of humor, yes."

"Look, I know you miss Jill, but ..." Kelly hoped the change in tactics would make Tyler open up.

"Stop right there. For once this isn't about Jill, Kell." Tyler looked down at the label she was picking at. "It's about me."

"What do you mean?"

"Look around you. Don't you see anything?" Tyler swung her arm wide motioning around the room.

"Yeah, but I didn't want to say anything."

"Now you don't want to say anything. Before I couldn't shut you up, now you don't want to say anything?" Tyler continued picking at the label, anything to keep from looking at Kelly. "I boxed her pictures up, sent some of her things to the charity store, and gave her family some things I thought they might like. The pictures are in a box in the closet. I couldn't ..." Tyler felt a lump in her throat as she tried to finish. "I sat here for a week and looked at that box. Believe me, there were times I just wanted to unpack those pictures and put them back, but I knew if I wanted to move on I needed to make a few changes. So there you have it, Kell." Tyler wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and swallowed hard. She hadn't given voice to her mission. She had only done it in the dark of night, away from her friends and without their love and support to help her through it. It was better that way, reasoned Tyler. Besides, she didn't want anyone to see her at her lowest, at her weakest. No, she wanted to shoulder the pain by herself, without the help of friends and family.

"Oh, Tyler. I'm so sorry," Kelly moved to sit down next to Tyler.

As Kelly wrapped her arms around Tyler, Tyler laid her head on Kelly's shoulder and started weeping, softly at first. Then sobs wracked her body as she finally let go of Jill.

"Why did you do this by yourself, Tyler? Why?" Kelly questioned as she hugged Tyler tighter.

"I had to, Kell. I needed to put Jill to rest once and for all. I needed to let her go and I needed to do it alone." Tyler cried harder as she realized what she had done. "I loved her so much that it's killing me." Tyler wiped at her eyes and continued, "I had to make a change. I had to do it by myself to prove to myself that I could do it." The floodgates had been released and Tyler felt her soul finally mourning Jill's death. Tears streamed down Tyler's face. Looking up she saw Kelly crying, too.

"I know it's hard, Honey." Kelly dabbed at Tyler's tears trying to stem the flow.

Tyler felt Kelly's fingers run through her hair as she continued to sob. She had finally told someone and it was done. She cried hard when she thought about not being able to go to her mom and cry on her shoulder. She missed her mother's strength and wisdom and now she cried even harder. Her mom, her rock, the person who had held her hand during Jill's funeral. The person who held her when she tried to sleep, rocking her like she did when Tyler was a child. She had grieved for her mom when she died. She didn't have a choice. It was a family affair. Her father and brothers all came together and stood strong, but they cried, they shared, and they loved their mother. They shared stories and held each other when they cried. They had a process that helped everyone get through it, but her grieving for Jill was cut short, denied a full process when her mom died two weeks later. And Tyler had paid the price for it. Shutting herself off and carrying around all that grief had changed Tyler and now she had to make another change-finally accept Jill's death and move on.

"Is that the reason for the haircut?" Kelly asked, still stroking Tyler's head.

"Yeah, I needed to make a few changes personally, so I cut it off. Do you like it?" Tyler questioned. She knew Kelly would be blunt and honest.

"Ashley likes it." Kelly slapped her hands over her mouth. "You didn't just hear that from me. s.h.i.t."