Broken Shield Part 12

"No, I'm fine. It'll just make me pee anyway and I hate that walk to the bathroom." Ashley smiled at the weak joke and motioned for Kelly to sit. "So, what are you doing here? How's Robbie?"

"He's good. I just came from seeing Tyler and thought I would drop by and see how my favorite partner is doing."

Ashley c.o.c.ked her head and squinted her eyes at Kelly. Something wasn't right. Maybe the drugs were doing a number on her system, but she could have sworn Kelly made it seem that Tyler was here in the hospital.

"You came all the way from the fire station to see me. Why?"

"Tyler's not at the station, she's here in the hospital. Didn't you know? Tyler was shot while saving you."

Ashley felt herself become lightheaded and grabbed the bed for support. Why hadn't anyone told me that Tyler had been shot? How serious was it? Suddenly she felt sick to her stomach and started to gag. Motioning for the trashcan by the nightstand she held her mouth until she was over it. What little was in her stomach was emptied into the plastic bag in the can. Kelly's cool hand covered her forehead as she handed Ashley a paper cup with water.

"Here, take a sip of this and try to relax. She's okay. She was only shot twice." Kelly guided Ashley back on to the bed and instructed her to sit. "I think you need to lie down. We need to talk, Ash." Kelly helped Ashley swing her legs onto the bed and pulled the sheet over her.

A cold sweet broke out over Ashley's face and she could feel her heart racing. Tyler had been shot because of her, because she had been careless on a call. Guilt replaced the sick feeling and Ashley had a sudden urge to see Tyler, to make sure for herself that Tyler was all right. Looking at Kelly, Ashley tried to say something, but words wouldn't come. Her ribs and shoulder began throbbing, each heartbeat a reminder of what had happened.

"How bad is she hurt?"

"How bad?"

Ashley nodded her head and waited. Looking at Kelly she had a pretty good idea she didn't want to know, but she needed to know.

"Define bad," Kelly said, sadness flashing across her face.

"Oh G.o.d. Please tell me she isn't paralyzed. Please tell me she'll be okay, normal, anything but-"

"Relax," Kelly said putting a hand on Ashley's arm. "She was shot in the neck and in the upper thigh. The bullet nicked her thigh bone, and the one in her neck just missed her jugular."

"Oh G.o.d," Ashley moaned.

"She's up and moving, sorta. They have her on pain meds and she's finally awake." Kelly gave Ashley a rea.s.suring smile and then patted her arm again.

Ashley's tears started to fall as she looked at the ceiling. She was responsible for getting another human being hurt. She swallowed and ran a barely wet tongue over her lips, licking at the tears that ran across them. How could this have happened? Who could have done such a horrible thing? Thinking about the shooting it was clear that whoever did this was deliberately trying to hurt them. Tyler had been hit twice and she had been hit once, but not for a lack of trying on the shooter's part. Remembering her mic exploding on her shoulder, she reached up and touched the bandage on her face. If I had moved just a few inches, I would be dead right now. But who would do this and why? She wondered.

"Ash?"

"Hmm?" Ashley turned and looked at Kelly.

"There's more."

"More?" Ashley felt dazed, almost like she was dreaming. Only it wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare. Wiping her eyes, she bit her lip and tried stopping the tears that continued to fall. She needed to see Tyler. To tell her how sorry she was and explain everything. But what was she going to explain? She didn't know what to say, actually.

"Ashley," Kelly began as she sat on the side of the bed and took Ashley's hand in hers, "we caught the person who did this to you."

Looking into Kelly's eyes, she saw something she'd never seen before. Pain or shame, she wasn't quite sure, but she had seen it when her mother had bad news.

"What?"

"It was Leslie Freeman."

"Leslie? Leslie did this? Leslie tried to kill me?" Ashley couldn't believe what she was hearing. Leslie, her Leslie, had tried to kill her. Shocked, Ashley felt sick to her stomach again, but this time there wasn't anything to throw-up. Ashley felt a cold sweat break out all over her body again. Is this nightmare ever going to end? "Are you sure? I mean I just heard from her and she said she was going to see me ...."

A sudden realization hit Ashley. The text message. Remembering back to the day of the shooting, Ashley remembered the text message Leslie had sent, but she hadn't thought anything about it at the time. It was just Leslie being Leslie, or so she thought. A groan escaped Ashley's lips as she grabbed her head. The room was spinning now and she felt as if she would faint if she had been standing.

"Ash, are you okay? Would you like me to call the nurse?"

"Oh my G.o.d! Leslie sent me a text that morning, but I didn't think anything of it. She had called and I didn't answer the phone, so she texted me and told me she would see me later. Oh G.o.d, Kelly, I didn't know. I didn't know." Ashley started to cry again.

Her life, her career was spiraling out of control. There would be an investigation and everyone would know about the abuse, about her relationship with Leslie. They would know everything. How could this be happening? She wondered.

"Ashley, calm down, Honey. It'll be all right. I promise." Kelly cradled Ashley in her arms and gently rocked her.

Minutes pa.s.sed before Ashley stopped crying. Her life was in shambles. But more importantly, she had only herself to blame for Tyler being shot. If she had reported the abuse she had suffered from Leslie, none of this would've happened. Her shame and guilt would be ten-fold now. How would she apologize to Tyler for what Leslie had done? What would she say? What could she say?

"I hate to say this, but please tell me she's dead." Ashley knew the only way she wouldn't have to face the fallout from what Leslie had done was if Leslie had died.

"I'm afraid not."

"Oh G.o.d."

"Ashley, I have to ask you some questions. Do you think you're up to it?"

Ashley nodded. She knew she didn't really have a choice in the matter. Besides, she would rather have Kelly be the one asking than one of the male detectives. Eventually, they would question her too, but this way Kelly would write everything up and pa.s.s it on to the investigating officers.

With each question Ashley felt her body weaken a little more. The more Kelly asked the more Ashley was sure she was being judged. She knew Kelly couldn't help it, it came with the job. They were trained to look for answers, to figure out the who, what and why things happened. Her life was now an open book and Ashley wished she could tear out the chapters that contained Leslie and burn them. Slowly and methodically, Kelly wrote down Ashley's answers. Each question seemed to have a follow-up until Kelly's pen finally stopped. Ashley watched as her friend closed her narrow pad, tucked it in her back pocket then looked up at her. Her eyes asked the question before her mouth did.

"Why, Ashley? Why didn't you report this? We could've done something," Kelly said moving to sit on Ashley's bed again. "Why did you think you had to go through this by yourself?"

Ashley dropped her head back on her pillow in shame. Squeezing her eyes tight, tears seeped out and down her face. How could she tell her friend that she was ashamed by what had happened? How could she explain it to Kelly when she couldn't even explain it to herself?

Chapter Twenty-three.

Ashley sat watching Tyler sleep. After Kelly left, she had tried to sleep, but she couldn't get rid of the guilt that plagued her. The noise of the machines beeping throughout the hospital and the pitter-patter of the nurses making rounds was no match for the noise in her head. Staring at the ceiling, all she could think about was Tyler lying wounded somewhere in the hospital because of her. Once she had found out what room Tyler was in, Ashley decided to check in on Tyler herself to make sure she was all right.

There was just enough light in the room to see Tyler's face. It took everything she had not to start crying when she saw the huge bandage on Tyler's neck. Clearly, Kelly had downplayed the seriousness of Tyler's injuries. The fact that she was still on a pain machine was proof enough to Ashley that Tyler was still in serious condition. Bending closer, she studied Tyler's face. With the exception of a crease between her eyebrows, Tyler looked like she was sleeping peacefully. Ashley finally had time to look at Tyler, really look at Tyler, without all the bravado and c.o.c.ky att.i.tude she was so famous for. Ashley resisted the urge to move several locks of hair that hid part of Tyler's face and run her fingers through the short hair. Tyler moved slightly, her hand coming to rest hanging slightly off the bed. Moving closer, Ashley looked at the strong hand and long fingers that tapered to well-kept nails. A scar ran parallel to the side of her hand, the st.i.tches barely visible. Ashley wondered how Tyler had gotten the now fading mark.

Moving her gaze back up, she looked at Tyler's mouth and noticed how her lips seemed to be in the start of a smile, a dimple marking one cheek. She always thought Tyler had a brooding feel about her, yet looking at her tonight she thought she looked handsome, not in a male sort of way, but more like a... Ashley couldn't quite put her finger on it. Perhaps it was her new haircut that gave her that boyish quality Ashley found attractive in women.

Ashley froze as Tyler moved again, this time letting out a groan as she tried to lie on her back. Returning to her original position, Tyler moaned, then licked her lips and sighed. Clearly Tyler was in pain. Pain Ashley was responsible for. She wanted to reach out and comfort Tyler, to take her pain away, but how would she explain what had happened. Seeing Tyler had eased Ashley's guilt, but only a little. She wanted to talk to Tyler, to explain what had happened and to tell her how sorry she was for getting her involved. Resting her head in her hand she briefly closed her eyes. Her body was rebelling from sitting so long, but she couldn't bring herself to leave quite yet. Running her fingers through her hair, she felt a tear slide down her face. She wiped it away before it dropped.

"Hey, don't cry. It'll be alright," she heard Tyler say softly.

Startled, she grabbed Tyler's hand and pressed the palm to her face. More tears started to flow at the gentle words.

"I'm sorry, Tyler. I am so sorry this happened to you. It's all my fault-"

Tyler's thumb gently pressed against Ashley's lips, stopping her from continuing.

"It's not your fault."

Ashley felt the softness of Tyler's thumb over her lips. The touch sent a charge through Ashley. If she had been anywhere else, she might have kissed the thumb or even playfully bit it. But she was in a hospital with the person who had been shot by her ex-girlfriend. How was she going to explain to Tyler who had shot them both? It was one thing for her to be shot, it came with the job and the crazy ex, but Tyler was just doing her job. Leslie had purposefully made a decision to try and kill Tyler, too. Would her life ever get better or would there constantly be a dark cloud hanging overhead? Only time would tell.

"Tyler, I need to tell you something," Ashley said, reaching for the hand that still stroked her lips. "I don't know how to say this, but the reason you were shot is because-"

"Officer Henderson, I was just doing my job. We all take risks and I knew what I was doing when I backed the bus up to get to you." Tyler's smile was faint, but Ashley felt the sincerity in her words. "Besides, you can't control what other people do. You know that, right?"

Ashley had an urge to kiss the palm of the hand she was holding, but thought better of it as she looked into Tyler's eyes. Tyler's eyes held her firmly in place as she tried to think of a way to explain Leslie. Not that she could really explain Leslie, but it was going to come up eventually. She had a choice, take on the subject head on or wait until later. Tyler's smile reached her eyes and started Ashley's body throbbing. The room suddenly felt stifling as Ashley returned the smile with a weak one of her own. Guilt was the great emotion that made people do strange things.

"Well, I should let you get some sleep. But remember, I promised you coffee. So when you're ready, I could go for a latte. In fact, I would kill for one, but don't tell anyone," Ashley said winking at Tyler.

Standing, Ashley became lightheaded. She had stood too quickly, surprising herself, especially in her condition. Now, she felt as if she would topple over. Grabbing the rail on the bed she steadied herself.

"Hey, are you okay?" Tyler's hands covered her own, trying to help steady her.

"I'm fine. I think I just stood too fast." Pulling her hands from Tyler's grasp she smiled again and turned to leave.

"Why don't you sit for a minute? I would hate to think you pa.s.sed out because you visited me."

Watching Tyler pat the bed next to her, Ashley raised an eyebrow and bit her lip again. I have to work on those nervous habits, she thought looking at the s.p.a.ce Tyler had made for her on the bed. As the bed was lowered, Ashley considered her options, making the long trek back to her room or gathering her strength and sitting next to a handsome woman. Oh, it sucked to have options and what a hardship it would be sitting next to Tyler. Ashley shook her head looking at the bed.

"I can always call the nurse and have a wheelchair sent down. Would that make you feel more comfortable?" Tyler quirked her eyebrow at the suggestion.

"Okay, here, twist my arm. That way I can at least say you twisted it to get me to stay."

"Oh, come on. I don't bite, regardless of what you've heard," Tyler said smiling. "Unless, of course, you want me to."

Ashley blushed at the innuendo and slowly sat down with her back to Tyler. She wouldn't give Tyler the satisfaction of seeing her blush. It was bad enough that Tyler's touch made her ache for more, now she had to admit that the "new" Tyler was having an effect on her. She was sure once Tyler learned who shot her, Ashley wouldn't have to worry about the few tingles she was getting from Tyler. No, Ashley was positive Tyler would distance herself from her. Suddenly, Ashley felt her body flinch from the warm path Tyler's hand took down her back.

"It'll be okay, trust me." Tyler smiled.

Why did she have to do that? Why did Tyler have to been so understanding, so warm, so sympathetic? Taking a deep breath, Ashley knew she needed to come clean or it would tear at her until she did.

"Tyler, I need a favor," Ashley said as she wrung her hands.

"Okay."

"I need you to listen to what I have to say and not interrupt me. Otherwise, I'll lose my nerve and I really need to tell you something."

"Okay?"

"Once upon a time." Ashley looked at Tyler when she heard her clear her throat. The smirk on Tyler's face made her grin. "Okay, I had a crazy ex-girlfriend not too long ago and-"

"Haven't we all?"

Ashley flashed Tyler a puzzled look.

"A crazy ex. I mean haven't we all had at least one?"

"Not like this. Believe me, not like this." Ashley continued her explanation. "Her name's Leslie and...Kelly told me she's the one who shot us." Turning towards Tyler, Ashley covered Tyler's hand and caressed the back of it with her thumb. "I had no idea she would do something like this, I swear, Tyler. I'm so sorry. You just can't imagine how bad I feel. I'm so, so sorry."

A tension descended between the two women. Ashley's internal voice was screaming run, but her heart was telling her to stay and take her punishment. She deserved Tyler's wrath, but instead, Ashley felt Tyler softly caress her face. How could Tyler be so understanding, so sympathetic, after being shot twice? Ashley realized she really didn't know Tyler at all. All the stories, all the bravado and all the ego were a smoke screen Tyler lived behind. Something to throw everyone off of the sensitive person she really was, at least that's the person Ashley saw in front of her right then.

"How bad was it?" Tyler asked, still stroking Ashley's face.

"What?"

"The abuse."

Ashley's dirty little secret was being revealed and she didn't know whether to confide or deny. But eventually it would all come out, so there was no sense in denying it, not now. Turning into Tyler, Ashley slid her leg up on the bed, pulled her IV stand closer and leaned back on her good arm. This was going to be a long conversation and Ashley might as well settle in for it. The pain on her right side was starting to get the better of her so she hit her own pain b.u.t.ton and waited. Biting the inside of her mouth, she relived the pain Leslie had created in her life as the medication took the edge off.

"Bad."

Remembering Leslie's anger made Ashley cringe and withdraw from Tyler's touch. Her mind wandered back to an incident early on in their relationship. A pivotal night, because Ashley chose to go with her heart and not her head.

"Leslie lit up a room when she walked in, kind of like you do. She was bigger than life sometimes and I just happened to meet her one of those times." Ashley faded into the memory and continued, "She had just closed a big deal for her firm and was celebrating at the same restaurant I and a few friends were having drinks and dinner." Picking at the tape on her arm she wandered through the dream, selecting what she would and wouldn't tell Tyler. She didn't know Tyler all that well and didn't want her to get the wrong idea.

That day she met Leslie had been h.e.l.l, but work was particularly tough that week and she was ready for some down time. She had finished her second gin and tonic and was ready for a nice dinner when Leslie walked in with her coworkers. The room practically exploded when Leslie walked in. It was hard to miss her, but Ashley didn't give her a second look. But, she had come up on Leslie's radar the minute Leslie walked into the restaurant.

Dinner was filled with talking, laughing, and relaxing as Ashley was finally able to let go of the dreadful week. A bottle of wine was delivered to the table, compliments of the woman at the bar, she was informed. Looking up, Ashley noticed a striking woman smiling and raising her gla.s.s in a toast to their table. Ashley would have sent the bottle back but her friends were already pouring wine into their gla.s.ses, each one raising their gla.s.ses acknowledging Leslie's generous offer. That's how it had started, innocently enough, Ashley explained to Tyler.

"We started seeing each other, infrequently at first, but then she wanted more. So we dated, exclusively I thought. I found a slip of paper with a woman's name and number on it when I had her jacket on one night. I questioned her about it, but she told me it was nothing. The more I pressed the more she denied it until she slapped me. 'Snapping me back to reality' she said. I should have left, but I didn't. She apologized profusely and said it was a knee jerk reaction to my being out of control." Ashley rubbed her face as if the slap had just happened. "I wasn't out of control."

"Ashley."

Ashley felt Tyler touch her face, but she couldn't look at Tyler. She was sure her shame was written all over it and if she looked at Tyler what would she see? She wasn't ready to be judged, not by someone she barely knew. She took a deep breath and tried to control the tears she knew would come if she continued.

"Ashley, it isn't your fault. Leslie obviously has issues and no one deserves to be hit, no one."

Nodding her head, Ashley felt herself cave in emotionally. She had carried her secret around inside for months and now it had hurt an innocent person. How would she live with herself now? What would she say to the detectives she knew would come and ask her questions? What would she say to her mother? Oh G.o.d, her mother. Her secrets would spill out and there was no way she would be able to stop them from spilling, not now. Her pain had been replaced with grief and guilt. Now if she could only take another shot of pain medicine to make it all go away.

Putting her hand on Tyler's arm for support, she knew she needed to get back to her room. Her head felt as if it were swirling down a drain, her secrets finally free to follow. The purging had been too much and she needed to rest both her mind and her body.

"Come here. Lay down," Tyler said patting the bed next to her. The look on Ashley's face must have told the whole story because Tyler smiled. "I might be a cad, but taking advantage of you in this condition is low, even for me," she said patting the bed.

"I'll be okay."

"I know you will, but humor me."

Ashley gently lay beside Tyler and stroked the arm that engulfed her waist. Her head stopped spinning but her mind worked at the loose ends of her memories of Leslie.

"Two months," Ashley whispered.

"Huh?"