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Her vulnerability, her yearning, had stayed with him. She seemed resigned to never trusting anyone again. The look in her eyes got to him. He felt angry, and he hurt for her that something had beaten her down like that.
He didn't believe she would be beaten down easily. She'd chosen a career where she put her life on the line regularly, and her thanks for that was she needed to earn her position in the male-dominated profession every single day. What's more, she'd taken over raising her sister when she herself was barely old enough to drink.
Which meant whatever was getting to her had to be immense. Sam was going to find out what that something was.
CHAPTER TEN.
The next Sunday, Paige again accompanied Ivy to Sam's for another sitting with Jonah. The expected rain never did arrive that week, and it was another bright, clear day. As Paige pulled up to Sam's house, sunlight filtered through the trio of live oaks in front, dappling the ground.
Since the diner, Paige hadn't spent much time with Sam, and never one on one. He'd been occupied with paperwork and out-of-office meetings that resulted from the drug raid. Paige had been glad for the time to herself. She was on edge about Thames and was letting too much slip around Sam. She was making mistakes she could not afford.
Despite Sam's words about trusting him, he was the last person she could trust. She couldn't let him in. She couldn't let anyone in. Especially Sam. He was part of the Bureau. His loyalties would be with the Bureau. She had nothing to link Thames to the postcards. If she told Sam that Thames was hunting her, Sam would have no reason to believe her any more than Lewis had.
Paige had picked up her van from Bud a couple of days ago. Ivy sat behind her, tapping the arms of her chair. A glance in the rearview mirror showed Ivy's gaze was glued to Sam's house. If not for how much this meant to Ivy, Paige would have stayed at home today. But Jonah had called Ivy on Sam's cell phone yesterday to invite her to go see the superhero movie, and Paige had overheard Ivy decline the invitation. Ivy wasn't comfortable spending time with Sam and Jonah on her own. And so here Paige was.
She took in the surroundings, then parked the van. The instant she did, Jonah came bounding out of the house. It was clear he had been watching for their arrival. Ivy lowered the wheelchair platform and met Jonah in the driveway. Just like last time, Jonah launched into speech the moment he saw Ivy.
"I've been practicing drawing like you showed me. Want to see?" Jonah walked backward as he spoke.
Ivy's mouth lifted in a small smile, and her eyes brightened. "Sure."
Sam came around to Paige's side of the van as she hoisted her purse and stepped down onto the asphalt driveway.
"Hey," Sam said.
"Hey."
He wore a T-shirt and jeans, and again she noticed his solid muscles and powerful legs. But that wasn't all she saw. His piercing eyes were focused on her, taking her in, and just now they looked as hard as the rest of him.
She didn't think it was her own jeans and top that made him study her so intently. It struck her again, as if she needed the reminder, that she had to keep her guard up around him.
"Thanks for inviting me to go to the movie, Sam." Ivy's gaze dipped. "Sorry I couldn't make it."
Sam turned to Ivy, and his hard gaze eased. "There'll be other movies. Jonah's making a list."
Ivy's shoulders relaxed and she laughed. "And thanks for the breakfast."
Sam's gaze softened further. "Anytime."
Paige had stiffened at the mention of the breakfast, but Sam didn't say anything more about it, didn't take the opening to pick up where he'd left off in the diner.
He got Ivy and Jonah settled in the living room, then left Paige briefly to go into the kitchen. He returned with a beer and a gla.s.s of wine, which he handed to Paige, then held the sliding door open for her to step ahead of him out to the back deck.
If Sam intended to circle back to where they'd left off in the diner, it was private out here. Her grip on the gla.s.s tightened. She wasn't going to let that happen. He'd gotten all he would from her.
She took her laptop from her purse and set it on one of the wide chairs. The only conversation she would have with Sam was about work. His absence from the office for much of the week left them with plenty to talk about.
Sam gave the laptop a glance but didn't comment. While her laptop booted, she went to the railing. This place drew her as no other place ever had. Though she was wound as tight as piano wire, being here gave her a sense of peace. She braced her elbows on the solid, knotted wood of the railing, then leaned over as a squirrel retrieved something from the ground to a chorus of birds chirping.
Sam came up beside her. "Paige-"
"You were right about this being a busy office. I can see why you needed another agent." She didn't look at Sam, but she hunched her shoulders, drawing in on herself, waiting to see if he would allow the topic. Sam was silent for a moment. She felt the heat of his gaze.
Finally, he said, "Bring me up to speed."
Paige returned to her laptop. One by one, she called up the appropriate files, then launched into a detailed accounting of progress made on their current cases. "I needed some background, and Mrs. Hendershot has everything, even older cases, on disk." Paige's admiration for Mrs. Hendershot was clear in her tone.
"She is the best. She's been the only admin since the office opened."
"You made a terrific hire."
"She was already on the job when I came here."
"I thought you opened this office," Paige said.
"It was already in place, staffed by one agent and one admin. The agent was Martin Hendershot."
"Martin Hendershot?"
"Yeah. Martin was Marian's husband. He opened the office and brought his wife in as his admin."
Paige had been about to say it worked out well for Sam that Martin Hendershot had chosen that time to retire or leave the Bureau to pursue other interests, but Sam was speaking of the man in the past tense. Sam's tone was grave. "Martin was her husband?"
Sam's mouth firmed. "He was killed. He was driving home from the Columbia office late one night. He stopped on a road in Haldonville, not the best place to be that time of day. He was gunned down. No witnesses came forward and none were found. It was never determined just why he stopped, and his murderer was never apprehended."
Sam grew quiet, feeling the murder of a fellow agent. Paige felt it, too, as she believed most agents would. "Having her husband's murder unresolved must weigh heavily on Mrs. Hendershot." Paige felt sympathy for the woman.
"Yeah." Sam's grip on the beer bottle tightened. "That was my first investigation here. I worked it with Central. We were never able to get any answers."
Paige could see the unresolved murder weighed heavily on Sam, too. He had a strong sense of justice. "It's hard to accept that Martin Hendershot's killer may never be found."
"I don't want to accept that. The day I accept that killers can get away with murder, I'll turn in my badge."
Paige twirled the stem of her gla.s.s slowly and gazed into the wine. "Justice doesn't happen for everyone." Paige thought of the women Thames had killed. His conviction had been overturned, and the law was clear: even if they could find additional evidence against him, he could not be retried for those murders. A shiver went through her.
Sam reached out and gently raised her chin so their eyes met. His touch-on the heels of her disturbing thoughts-startled her, and her fingers loosened on the gla.s.s. Instead of releasing her, Sam's hand on her face tightened a bit, and his other hand that held his beer moved to grip hers and the gla.s.s. His hold was strong, steady, sure. He made her feel something she hadn't felt in too long: safe. She'd cautioned herself to keep a professional distance from Sam, but she couldn't step away from him and the safety he represented.
"No, it doesn't," Sam said, "but that can't deter us, and I won't use instances where justice isn't had as a benchmark over times when it is. The people we serve need to know they can come to us and we'll fight for them with everything we are."
Paige could see he meant those words, that it was a code he lived by. She could see where Jonah got his admiration of heroes-super or otherwise. It made Paige want to believe in heroes, too-to believe in him. She would have, if not for Thames.
Her throat burned, and she felt precariously close to tears. She hadn't cried in a long time, recognizing the futility of it. The urge to break down in Sam's arms nearly overwhelmed her. "I can't do this, Sam. I can't do this with you."
Sam's hold on her tightened. "What can't you do? I want to help you. Let me help you."
Paige made a sound of distress. "If you really want to help me, then let this alone. Please."
Sam's gaze became gentle. "I won't ask any questions. You don't have to tell me anything. Just let me hold you. Let me do that now because you need me to. Because I need to."
Despite her resolve not to give in to them, tears filled her eyes, blurring her view of him. "I'm not who you think I am. I have nothing to give you, Sam."
Sam set his beer and her gla.s.s on the deck railing then raised his hands to her face. He thumbed the tears now falling freely down her cheeks. There was pain in his eyes now, too. She could see he was hurting for her.
His eyes burned into hers. "Just let me hold you. That's all I'm asking for."
He wrapped his arms around her and brought her against his chest. She could feel the solid beat of his heart beneath her cheek. She thought he was going to kiss her, but instead he went on holding her. She was powerless against such tenderness. She couldn't hold herself back and wound her arms around him, holding him just as fiercely.
It was a stolen moment. For this one moment, she allowed herself the delusion that there was no Thames, that her life was her own, and that what she was now feeling for Sam might have a chance to grow.
But a moment was all she could take. She stepped out of Sam's arms. Her body shook with the force it was taking her to keep herself together. She left Sam on the deck and went into the house, calling Ivy's name.
Ivy looked up from her sketch. "Paige?"
"I remembered I have some things I need to do at the apartment, Ivy. We need to get going."
Ivy said good-bye to Jonah and Sam, and then they were in the van. Sam watched from the driveway as Paige pulled away.
CHAPTER ELEVEN.
Sam was in his workout room, pounding the h.e.l.l out of a punching bag. He couldn't sleep. Couldn't turn off for the night. Hours later, he could still see Paige in his mind, her eyes tormented, her face ravaged by pain.
While he'd been talking about Martin Hendershot's murder, it was apparent that Paige was talking about something else. And whatever it was, it was shredding her. She'd looked as if she was coming apart. Hanging on by a thread. The pain in her voice staggered him.
He was in a position of authority over her, and he'd crossed a line by taking her into his arms. Paige was one of his agents. But he'd be d.a.m.ned if he regretted it. In that moment, he'd wanted nothing more than to take on whatever was causing her pain. To stand between her and whatever had brought her to this point.
And now?
Seeing her laid so low had gutted him. He cared. Yeah, he cared.
Her desire to put distance between them had been in her eyes even if he hadn't received that message when she'd stepped out of his arms. While his gut was telling him he needed to get to the bottom of whatever it was that was a ticking bomb ready to explode, he'd seen her eyes had been full of shadows, mistrust, and fear, and he knew he'd never learn anything if he continued to push her. And so he'd backed off. Gave her room to come to him. He hoped to h.e.l.l he was right and she would.
She couldn't go on like this. She was a strong woman, but everyone had their breaking point, and it slayed him to see Paige reaching hers.
His cell phone rang. According to the clock on the wall, it was a few minutes after one in the morning. Paige? He s.n.a.t.c.hed up the phone he'd left on the floor, but the caller ID showed Deputy Director Wallace's name. "McKade."
"Agent McKade, this is Director Wallace."
Sam used the towel he'd slung around his neck to swipe sweat from his face. "Director."
"We have a situation. A woman's body was found in Kirk County Park a short while ago. We need you to claim jurisdiction."
In most cases, the Bureau needed to be invited into an investigation by local authorities. They couldn't simply claim jurisdiction, and the discovery of a dead woman wouldn't trigger a jurisdiction claim. Sam put the phone on speaker and returned it to the floor, then began to unwind boxing tape from around his hands. "Can you tell me anything more?"
Director Wallace spoke in his usual crisp tone. "The woman is Janet Glaxton Lambert. I believe you'll recognize the name."
Sam paused in the act of unrolling the tape. "Yes."
Hugh and Janet Glaxton Lambert lived in a prominent section of Kirk County. Sam had spoken with the couple briefly at a Christmas fund raiser for Kirk County General Hospital that he'd attended in his official capacity for the Bureau. Hugh Lambert was a wealthy industrialist and a strong supporter of the hospital, and Janet Glaxton Lambert had chaired the event. Her brother was a state senator.
"Senator Glaxton received notification of his sister's death a short while ago," the director continued. "It is being regarded as a suspicious death pending further investigation, and the senator has requested that we take over the investigation. Call me with an update, Agent McKade, when you're on scene."
Sam finished with the tape and picked up his phone. "Will do."
He ended the call, then dialed Kirk County Police Chief Harmon.
The chief answered with a harsh "Harmon."
In the background, Sam heard shouts and bits of conversation. Someone started a vehicle. Sounded like Harmon was at the crime scene. "Pete, Sam McKade."
"I figured I'd be hearing from you once I found out the ident.i.ty of our dead woman," Harmon said.
Sam didn't address that. It was always a sore point with Harmon when the Bureau became involved in what he considered local business. "Has the body been moved?"
"No. We got here ourselves just a short while ago. You found out about this fast. n.o.body wasted time bringing you in."
Pete's tone sounded defensive. Sam ignored that, too. It fell to him to smooth any ruffled feathers. Some local authorities resented what he'd heard called "the Bureau's high-handed tactics." Sam hated when he was forced into the role of diplomat and had zero patience for it. His tone more clipped than it should have been, he said, "Our people will be there to relieve you shortly."
"Anything else for now?"
Sam would get a full report once he was on scene, but for the moment all he needed to know was where in the park the body had been found. After Harmon provided the information, Sam went still. Janet Lambert's body had been found on one of the trails. Countless people frequented those trails, but all Sam could think was that Paige had been on them. Logic told him she was a trained agent and could have protected herself if attacked. But logic had nothing to do with the fear that grabbed him by the throat thinking of her at risk.
"Sam?"
Sam brought himself back from that edge. "Yeah. I'll be there as soon as I can."
Sam ended the call, then phoned the Columbia office to dispatch a crime scene team to Kirk County Park and agents to relieve Harmon's officers. Next he called Harry to round up Dom, Mike, and Riley to meet at the park. On his way out of the room, as he pa.s.sed the bench press and barbells, he made a fourth call, this time to Ginny.
"Sam?"
He heard alarm in Ginny's voice and said quickly, "Jonah's all right. I'm calling because I need to bring him to you. I'm going to work."
"Okay." Ginny's voice became strained as it always did whenever he mentioned his job. "I'll meet you at the back door."