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"Wi' that, as if a bee had stang'd her, Tibby cam' to the ither side o'
the table frae whaur I was sittin'--as it micht be there--an' she set her hands on the edge o't wi' the loofs doon (I think I see her noo; she looked awsome bonny), an' says she--
"'Tammas Thackanraip, ye are a decent man, but ye are wasting your time comin' here coortin' me,' she says. 'Gin ye think that Tibby o' the Hilltap is gaun to marry a man wi' his een in his pooch an' a weather-gla.s.s in the sma' o' his back, ye're maist notoriously mista'en,' says she."
There was silence in the kitchen after that, so that we could hear the clock ticking time about with my wife's needles.
"So I cam' awa'," at last said Tammock, sadly.
"An' what hae ye dune aboot it?" asked my wife, sympathetically.
"Dune aboot it?" said Tammas; "I juist speered Bell Mulwhulter when I cam' hame."
"An' what said she?" asked the mistress.
"Oh," cried Tammas, "she said it was raither near the eleeventh 'oor, but that she had nae objections that she kenned o'."
IV
THE OLD TORY
_One man alone, Amid the general consent of tongues.
For his point's sake bore his point-- Then, unrepenting, died_.
The first time I ever saw the Old Tory, he was scurrying down the street of the Radical village where he lived, with a score of men after him.
Clods and stones were flying, and the Old Tory had his hand up to protect his head. Yet ever as he fled, he turned him about to cry an epithet injurious to the good name of some great Radical leader. It was a time when the political atmosphere was p.r.i.c.kly with electricity, and men's pa.s.sions easily flared up--specially the pa.s.sions of those who had nothing whatever to do with the matter.
The Old Tory was the man to enjoy a time like that. On the day before the election he set a banner on his chimney which he called "the right yellow," which flaunted bravely all day so long as David Armitt, the Old Tory, sat at his door busking salmon hooks, with a loaded blunderbuss at his elbow and grim determination in the c.o.c.k of one s.h.a.ggy grey eyebrow.
But at night, when all was quiet under the Dullarg stars, Jamie Wardhaugh and three brave spirits climbed to the rigging of the Old Tory's house, tore down his yellow flag, thrust the staff down the chimney, and set a slate across the aperture.
Then they climbed down and proceeded to complete their ploy. Jamie Wardhaugh proposed that they should tie the yellow flag to the pig's tail in derision of the Old Tory and his Toryism. It was indeed a happy thought, and would make them the talk of the village upon election day.
They would set the decorated pig on the d.y.k.e to see the Tory candidate's carriage roll past in the early morning.
They were indeed the talk of the village; but, alas! the thing itself did not quite fall out as they had antic.i.p.ated. For, while they were bent in a cl.u.s.ter within the narrow, slippery quadrangle of the pig-sty, and just as Jamie Wardhaugh sprawled on his knees to catch the slumbering inmate by the hind-leg, they were suddenly hailed in a deep, quiet voice--the voice of the Old Tory.
"Bide ye whaur ye are, lads--ye will do bravely there. I hae Mons Meg on ye, fu' to the bell wi' slugs, and she is the boy to scatter. It was kind o' ye to come and see to the repairing o' my bit hoose an' the comfort o' my bit swine. Ay, kind it was--an' I tak' it weel. Ye see, lads, my wife Meg wull no let me sleep i' the hoose at election times, for Meg is a reid-headed Radical besom--sae I e'en tak' up my quarters i' the t'ither end o' the swine-ree, whaur the auld sow died oot o'."
The men appeared ready to make a break for liberty, but the bell-mouth of Mons Meg deterred them.
"It's a fine nicht for the time o' year, Davit!" at last said Jamie Wardhaugh. "An' a nice bit pig. Ye hae muckle credit o't!"
"Ay," said David Armitt, "'deed, an' ye are richt. It's a sonsy bit swine."
"We'll hae to be sayin' guid-nicht, Davit!" at last said Jamie Wardhaugh, rather limply.
"Na, na, lads. It's but lanesome oot here--an' the morn's election day.
We'll e'en see it in thegither. I see that ye hae a swatch o' the guid colour there. That's braw! Noo, there's aneuch o't for us a', Jamie; divide it intil five! Noo, pit ilka yin o' ye a bit in his bonnet!"
One of the others again attempted to run, but he had not got beyond the d.y.k.e of the swine-ree when the cold rim of Mons Meg was laid to his ear.
"She's fu' to the muzzle, Wullie," said the Old Tory; "I wadna rin, gin I war you."
Willie did not run. On the contrary, he stood and shook visibly.
"She wad mak' an awfu' scatterment gin she war to gang aff. Ye had better be oot o' her reach. Ye are braw climbers. I saw ye on my riggin'
the nicht already. Climb your ways back up again, and stick every man o'
ye a bit o' the bonny yellow in your bonnets."
So the four jesters very reluctantly climbed away up to the rigging of David Armitt's house under the lowering threat of Mons Meg's iron jaws.
Then the Old Tory took out his pipe, primed it, lighted it, and sat down to wait for the dawning with grim determination. With one eye he appeared to observe the waxing and waning of his pipe; and with the other, c.o.c.ked at an angle, he watched the four men on his rigging.
"It's a braw seat, up there, gentlemen. Fine for the breeks. Dinna hotch owre muckle, or ye'll maybe gang doon through, and I'm tellin' ye, ye'll rue it gin ye fa' on oor Meg and disturb her in her mornin' sleep.
Hearken till her rowtin' like a coo! Certes, hoo wad ye like to sleep a'
yer life ayont that? Ye wad be for takin' to the empty swine-ree that the sow gaed oot o', as weel as me."
So the Old Tory sat with his blunderbuss across his knees, and comforted the men on the roof with reminiscences of the snoring powers of his spouse Meg. But, in spite of the entertaining nature of the conversation, Jamie Wardhaugh and the others were more than usually silent. They sat in a row with their chins upon their knees and the ridiculous yellow favours streaming from their broad blue bonnets.
The morning came slowly. Gib Martin, the tailor, came to his door at ten minutes to six to look out. He had hastily drawn on his trousers, and he came out to spit and see what kind of morning it was; then he was going back to bed again. But he wished to tell the minister that he had been up before five that morning; and, as he was an elder, he did not want to tell a whole lie.
Gib glanced casually at the sky, looked west to the little turret on the kirk to see the clock, and was about to turn in again, when something black against the reddening eastern sky caught his eye.
"Preserve us a', what's yon on Davit Armitt's riggin'?" he cried.
And so surprised was Gib Martin, that he came all the way down the street in three spangs, and that on his stocking-feet, though he was a married man.
But he did not see the Old Tory sitting by the side of the pig-sty--a thing he had cause to be sorry for.
"Save us, Jamie, what are ye doin' sittin' on Davit Armitt's hoose-riggin'? Gin the doited auld Tory brute catches ye--"
"A fine mornin' to ye, tailor," said the Old Tory from the side of the d.y.k.e.
The tailor faced about with a sudden pallor.
The muzzle of Mons Meg was set fair upon him, and he felt for the first time in his life that he could not have threaded a needle had his life depended on it.
"Climb up there aside the other four," commanded David Armitt.
"I'm on my stockin'-feet, Davit!" said the tailor.
"It's brave an' dry for the stockin'-feet up on the riggin'," said the Old Tory. "Up wi' ye, lad; ye couldna do better."
And the tailor was beside the others before he knew it, a strand of the bright yellow streaming from the b.u.t.ton-hole of his shirt. So one after another the inhabitants of Dullarg came out to wonder, and mounted to wear the badge of slavery; until, when the chariot of the Tory candidate dashed in at twenty minutes to seven on its way to the county town, the rigging of David Armitt's house was crowded with men all decorated with his yellow colours. Never had such a sight been seen in the Radical and Chartist village of Dullarg.