Body Language in Business Part 15

WINNING AND LOSING AT WORK.

It is clear why ceremonies are so important to us. Ceremonies celebrate history, link the past with the present, the exerted effort with the obtained result. They honor and promote perseverance, ambition and hard work. They create milestones and cherish collective memories.

Business ceremonies have similar functions too. Some celebrate the day of the company's establishment, some its quarterly and yearly performance, and some lucrative deal-clinching. Such gatherings often boost employees' morale and motivation; they bring teams together in a (hopefully) joyful and relaxed atmosphere; they reward commitment and loyalty.

There is always a certain amount of symbolism in any kind of ceremony. Whether it is a wedding, a funeral, an inauguration, or an awards ceremony, there are traditions and rules a.s.sociated with each of them. These rules vary from culture to culture, but are always deeply prescribed. The j.a.panese tea ceremony, for example, can last up to four hours and includes details not only on technical aspects of the ritual, such as the temperature of the water and the type of kettle to be used, but also social and aesthetic rules such as what clothes are to be worn by the host and how flowers are to be arranged in the room.

Celebratory body language is almost always a.s.sociated with a body lift. It can mean raising your arms above your head, elevating your posture or jumping up and down in an erratic fashion. These nonverbal behaviors are especially vivid in sport, such as at Olympic award ceremonies. There three winners stand on a pedestal in an obvious hierarchical order, with the gold medal winner being raised above the other two contestants. Football players celebrating a decisive goal leap into the air, extending their arms and even their forefingers, as if to show they are the number one now.

Politicians have also adopted raised gestures. One arm lifted or two palms together raised above the head are commonly found among leaders celebrating their victory. Their supporters copy the stance of the leader, often unintentionally. Consider the behavior of the crowd rejoicing in the good news. Flags or other objects of group significance are waved in the air. Sometimes even the person being celebrated is taken by the group and carried around or thrown in the air. Nowadays these practices are observed at many events, from rock concerts to stag nights.

The prizes themselves are worth a mention. The trophies received as part of the completion of a successful business deal always carry the logos or the brand names of the parties involved. Thus the miniature statues serve as a reminder of success, and they build and maintain authority. They allow your guests to pick up on your track record without you saying a word. They are easy tools for discreet impression management. Educational diplomas work in a similar fashion too. A degree awarded by a good university speaks volumes, not only about your education, but also about your abilities, background and social connections.

Both the quality and quant.i.ty of the prize matter. Some try to impress with the color or the size of the trophy, while others value understatement and quiet taste. When did more become less, and where did this obsession with "the bigger, the better" start? People from all cultures seem to interpret size symbolically. The great Egyptian pyramids and the ambitiousness of the buildings in modern-day Dubai both come across as symbols of the power and success of the society, even if only temporarily. Religions have always employed the power of size and beauty to capture the hearts and minds of people, as ill.u.s.trated by the magnificent grandeur of the Vatican. Political aspirations also shape and reflect the scale of design, such as, for example, Stalinist architecture or the Ryugyong Hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea, better known as the world's ugliest building, but which is nevertheless one of its tallest skysc.r.a.pers.

Thus, size matters: it intimidates and astounds. It is no wonder then, that winners raise their chins and gla.s.ses, while losers slouch and slump. A graceful winner, or a graceful loser, however, displays their joy or disappointment tactfully, to avoid hurting the feelings of the other party, though it is understandably hard to hide discontent at losing, especially if the compet.i.tion was fierce or the outcome close.

TABLE 7.5 Nonverbal behaviors of winners and losers in the Western world Table 7.5 gives a list of celebratory and commiserative nonverbal behaviors common in the Western world.

It has already been stated that in business it pays to look the part. Thus by displaying the body language of a winner, such as straightening the back or raising the head, a more favorable impression might be created by an individual.

The other apparent recommendation is to display the physical signs of success. If all else is equal or unknown, which psychologist would you rather have examine or counsel you: one whose door sign reads PhD, or the one with no qualification mentioned at all? In an ambiguous situation, especially if time is tight, humans look for telltale signs, and, what is more, first impressions are extremely pervasive. It is also an acknowledged fact that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. It never hurts to restate your achievements.

It also used to be said that if you want to become something, you simply need to be it. By fooling yourself into believing you are something you are currently not, you modify your behavior in line with your perception of that other person's image. That tricks others around you into thinking you or something about you has changed. This triggers them to treat you differently, which reinforces and strengthens your chosen line of new behavior. Bear in mind, though, that this pattern is applicable to both the virtuous and the vicious cycle, and can only work to your advantage if you truly believe in yourself. If, on the other hand, you lack this crucial ingredient, self-efficacy, you are more likely to end up experiencing anxiety or, even worse, depression.

CONCLUSION.

Look around you. Some people you know are more dominant, more forceful, and more persuasive than others. Some are lazy, grumpy and constantly irritable. It is one of the axioms of psychology that people are all shaped by the same personality dimensions; are all influenced by the rules of the immediate group they live in, dictated by the immediate culture; and subject to the same evolutionary pressures to adapt to the ever-changing environment. Yet, through the mixing and stirring of these three levels, each person becomes unique and inimitable.

Nevertheless, a certain mix of individual differences seems to equate with life success. Theory tells us that extroverted, stable, conscientious, empathic, intelligent and attractive individuals have been dealt the best hand for their future. They excel at tasks at hand; find healthy ways of coping with stress at work and life adversaries; build prosperous careers; and lead healthier lifestyles. Why, one might ask, should such unfairness exist? To answer this question we need to jump from the level of uniqueness to the level of the mechanism of global evolution. Both individuals and groups need to adapt to their environment or face extinction. Groups, however, rely on the prowess of their leaders to select the best way forward, to innovate and to inspire collective action. Since a larger part of intelligence and personality appears to be heritable, those blessed with the "best recipe" are not only betterequipped to lead and are selected as leaders more often, but also, in consequence, are continually reproduced in the population.

In this book, we attempted to give an accessible, comprehensive review of the psychology of body language. We noted how signs of a.s.sertiveness and power are transmitted nonverbally; how status is inferred from "silent" cues; and how liking and alliances can be signalled through movements of the body. Since this is a businessorientated book, we also considered the influence of nonverbal communication in and across work situations. Great speech-giving is, for example, unimaginable without subtle, timely and appropriate gesturing. In fact, this statement can easily be tested empirically by anyone: tie your hands behind your back the next time you need to give a presentation, or even engage in a social conversation, and you will find speaking rather hard, if not impossible.

There are some nonverbal signals that have evolutionary significance, such as proximity, matching and elevated position. They are also better researched, most frequently used, and are applicable across contexts. Other signs are much more idiosyncratic, individual or situation-bound, and should be interpreted with care and attention, if at all. Cultural interpretations of the meanings of gestures are, for example, incredibly diverse, with identical gestures changing the connotation from praise to insult as you cross a border.

While we state explicitly that body language should not be regarded as a philosopher's stone capable of giving access to the secrets of human behavior and motivation, we certainly agree with its profound and pervasive influence on our lives. We know that emotions can be detected unmistakably from facial expressions. We also know that it is possible for us to form accurate impressions of other people's personalities and intentions during extremely brief exposures. Further, we know that body language is the product of physiological changes in the nervous system which are activated by situational and emotional cues, and hence can sometimes be a true reflection of our inner state at that point in time.

However, that is where the danger lies. Since some truth about an individual's condition can be surmised via reading his or her body language, it is a natural tendency to generalize and to apply the standards across contexts. This in turn leads to popular claims and misconceptions blown out of proportion by various media and selfhelp counsellors hungry for the next headline or sale. We hope we have done our part in refuting some of those myths.

What sort of conclusion does this book reach? Well, if you take one thing from this book, we would like it to be this: The power of body language lies in its subtlety, in its promise of an action rather than the action itself. Body language hints towards a certain disposition or behavior rather than identifies or determines it.

Verbal statements of allegiance, attraction and friendship are explicit commitments that are in some countries are even legally binding. Oral declarations of status, dominance and aggressiveness are likely to be met with hostility and aversion. In contrast, body language is understood momentarily and acceptingly. It does not have to be processed consciously to be appreciated or to elicit action. That is why body language is so important in business. In negotiations, for example, where the stakes are high and the disclosure of interests is often only partial, the acceptance of the deal relies heavily on the sincerity of the spoken word, or to put it simply, on how trustworthy is the other party. Trustworthiness can certainly be signalled verbally (and most job interviewees would have attempted to do just that) but has to be matched by the sincerity of the message expressed. As none of us have the ability to see too far into the future, one has to trust that the option or action selected in the present will effect the desired outcomes over the next few days, months or years. Thus, nonverbal communication plays a crucial role in our perception of the other party, by enhancing, or indeed, contradicting the verbal declaration.

The other way of looking at this would be to turn the situation around and ask: if body language is not that important and should be disregarded as an irritating "noise" in the system, why do we still have the ability to use it? One could explain the phenomenon by pointing to the evolutionary advantages this system of communication brought to our ancestors and its similarity to those of other, especially closely related, species. In line with this argument is the notion of how we process incoming information. The amount of information we are bombarded with every day is extraordinary. Twenty-four-hour news reports, advertising messages, and pressure from work and home life add to the complexity of the urban lifestyle of modern men and women. No wonder that cognitive filters processing the information sift most of it away (as they have always done), apart from the details considered to be the most relevant and significant. Nonverbal signals often act as clues to behaviors and intentions that do not need to be processed consciously in order to be understood, and thus reduce the cognitive load from our busy minds and facilitate complex daily interaction.

The reading of body language is a system of communication that is advantageous to us, and the absence of it is usually detrimental to individuals' social skills, as evident, for example, in Asperger's or Down's disorder sufferers, who have difficulties learning the clues about appropriate behavior for different situations. In short, body language helps us quickly to sort out friends from foes, good from bad, and sincere from dishonest words.

However, it is also necessary to discuss the implications of knowing too much about body language. Nonverbal communication is an incredibly popular topic, with hundreds of books and papers being written about it. Yet, once a trait or a behavioral pattern is labelled as being socially desirable, people will inevitably fake "good" or overinterpret what they see. One example of this tendency is the modern obsession with beauty which, exacerbated by the advances of science and media reach, has resulted in a huge increase in the number of plastic surgery interventions and eating disorders. This degree of recognition of the body language topic, in essence, may result in copy-cat behavior by some. This, of course, carries the risk of this channel of communication being abused for dishonest purposes. It was Bernard Madoff's excellent reputation in high-cla.s.s circles that clouded the perception of investors and let him continue with one of the largest Ponzi schemes for years.

But how far can body language faking take you? Is it really as easy as it sounds to be? First, it is a question of ability. One has to not only know how to fake, but also be a good actor to perform a behavior that is not in one's natural repertoire. Think of the case of Frank Abagnale, Jr., on whose life was based the script of a famous movie, Catch Me If You Can. In the movie, a juvenile delinquent manages to pose successfully as a number of highly qualified professionals. With the necessary paperwork in place, he fakes being a pilot, a doctor and a lawyer. Of course, this incredible ability to fake is not something everyone possesses, but it shows that it is, indeed, possible. Con artists and impostors are often highly skilled in body language reading and portrayal.

Body language faking is, perhaps, more possible for short durations of time, but it is unlikely that one is capable of a sustained change in behavior. Most of it happens without awareness, and no degree of self-control would let, for example, an anxious individual maintain relaxed body language across various business contexts. Coupled with our implicit, unconscious trust in bodily communication and heuristic information processing (if it looks good, it must be good), it opens up the possibility of influence, as demonstrated vividly by modern staged political debates and the advertising industry. One simple piece of advice is offered to curb faking in business settings: trust but test. Important decisions, such as hiring or firing, should always be reached through extensive background research, not simply intuition. On the other hand, the good news for business is that nonverbal communication can be used to "nudge" employees, colleagues and consumers towards a desirable course of action.

Finally, we need to discuss issues of modernity and the effect of technology on human communication. More and more of our life is spent in digital reality communicating via telephones, text messages, e-mails, voice calls over the Internet and instant chats, and the trend is expected to steadily increase. How do these new media affect the communication process if all the usual connotations provided by body language are stripped away? The answer is threefold.

First, it does indeed create a challenge for message interpretation. What is missing from this type of communication is the immediate feedback mechanism that is typical of face-to-face interactions. Emotional cues, such as humour, sarcasm or positive affect become harder to read and understand. The information decoded in digital messages is deprived of the sensory tinge; instead, it relegates the essence of communication to the bare, plain, verbal facts. By doing so, it does not allow the sender and the recipient to instantly clarify or confirm their understanding of the message.

Second, however, people are creative creatures. They overcome the shortcomings of new technologies by inventing or utilizing different nonverbal signs and signals. Emoticons, for example, elucidate the affective context of the message. People also start using such clues as response time, length of the answer, or quality of the writing to infer hidden meaning behind the communication. There is a popular anecdote in business that recommends setting a reply system for outgoing e-mails which automatically sends them at a designated time during the night. The image such behavior creates is the impression that the sender is a hard-working individual committed to doing extra time in the organization. As for video conferencing, since the interaction involves visual information, some nonverbal clues come into play there. Eye gaze patterns, smiling and facial attraction are all going to be important signals contributing to inference of meaning.

Third, digital media, detached from the sometimes irrelevant and bias-creating information such as physical attractiveness, may in fact provide an unexpected advantage to human communication at work. By subtracting the clues unrelated to the message of communication, it makes sure the focus is, finally, on what is being said, not on how or by whom.

Also by Adrian Furnham.

Reaching for the Counter (1993) Business Watching (1994) (with Barrie Gunter) The Myths of Management (1996) Corporate Culture Shock (1997) The Psychology of Managerial Incompetence (1998) Body Language at Work (1999) The Hopeless, Hapless and Helpless Manager (2000) Children and Advertising (2000) The 3D Manager: Dangerous, Derailed and Deranged (2001) Growing Up with Advertising (2002) Mad, Sad and Bad Management (2003) Binge Drinking (2003) Management and Myths (2004) The People Business (2005) Dishonesty at Work (2005) (with John Taylor) Management Mumbo-Jumbo (2006) Head and Heart Management (2007) Management Intelligence (2008) Dim Sum Management (2008) The Elephant in the Boardroom (2010)