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She wanted pa.s.sion nothing more. The thought was inviting and it spread a warm feeling in her middle, she slouched as a thought came at her. How could she get pa.s.sion and not carry the heavy burden that came with a relationship? Did her rules sanction her to try something forbidden—something so f.u.c.ked up?
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Olaitan thought morals demanded a lady to rid herself of unG.o.dly thoughts, until she was married; at least that was what her mother always preached. She needed to get laid, nothing more. Could she handle pure f.u.c.king and not get attached? Her friends did, why couldn't she try and see where it leads her? Who knows she might nd true love. She sighed at the random thought, love? Did she want more heartbreak? No! She would do as her body pleases. After all she was attractive, young and would only live once.
Nathaniel was the rst son, blessed with four troublesome sisters who seem to need his attention on everything. He got a feel of how the female system works; and boy did it drive him crazy? He was in his third year in the University of Lagos and was pretty popular amongst his cliques. Nathaniel was 'the golden child' in his parent's eyes. He got good grades and all, but away from home, he was known for his 'jaye-jaye' lifestyle. He had a ridiculous rapport with girls that threw themselves at him and he even indulged in a few hu s and pu s of weed. Sometimes, he cuddled with the idea he was a good son—it was something he liked to believe.
Nathaniel and Olaitan met through a mutual friend. At rst the two didn't seem like a t but with a little nudge and e ort from both sides, they stayed in contact as friends. Nathaniel was what the ladies called an eye candy. Soulful brown eyes, luscious lips, and a masculinity that could make a woman swoon. Olaitan found him attractive, it would be an unpardonable sin not to. She tried to ignore the thrill she felt whenever she was with him.
He saw Olaitan as Oren'te type; small and lithe. He was quite taken with her features. She had slanted eyes, a round face and lips which provoked him to have a taste. It was a mixture of brown and fading pink. He didn't like the way her eyes saw beneath his façade. He felt vulnerable under the scrutiny of those dark pools. Like friends, they met and talked for a bit.
Olaitan was quick to judge, sensing from his good looks; she was a little sceptical of what he could bring to the table. She'd heard stories of handsome men and the trail of broken hearts they left behind. Olaitan didn't think he would have much to o er but she could be wrong, she had been before. One thing was certain, Nathaniel will make a ne specimen to chop from.
Nathaniel thought Olaitan was a "mummy's girl," which made him extremely bored. They both kept their thoughts to themselves, it wasn't necessary to make a mess out of things.
Olaitan soon made a proposition, which Nathaniel found tempting. The two decided not to make a fuss of things, that is; skip "the getting to know each other" and straight to the "let's s.h.a.g one another."
The rst time she tasted his lips, it was eye-opening and turned her knees to liquid. The kiss was so soft and hot, she melted in his arms. He nuzzled at her neck, inhaling the delicate scent of her. A taste of her aphrodisiac skin, sent his head spinning. He left his mark on her; a hickey that was reluctant to disappear, reminding her of the promising a air that would awaken her slumbering mind.
They were not intimate yet and both were tired of just making out. At rst he let her take the lead, but it wasn't long before he gained control. Being the adventurous lady she was, desire she kept at bay surfaced, quaking through her entire body. She had never felt such searing pa.s.sion before, was she ill or had she reached that age where her inner woman comes out to play?
Nathaniel was her mate and that was all she knew. She looked at him right in the eyes, her legs vibrated and eyes darkened with vengeful l.u.s.t. She had been accustomed to a man's touch before, knew of the ancient dance that occurred between a man and a woman. But with him, things were di erent.
Olaitan had to see him again. She tried to control her excitement but it was futile. She wanted him badly. She should be ashamed of having such thoughts, but she was a woman and that meant she had desires too, although her mother taught her better than to have a quest for pa.s.sion only.
Olaitan thought it was unfair. What was wrong in having someone to fool around with? You only live once, right? Who cared what the society thought and demanded? Why should she deprive herself from pleasure? Funny thing was; she believed Nathaniel was the exploration she needed to discover her s.e.xual vitality. Olaitan hoped with time they would take it much further than meeting lips.
It was Friday and Nathaniel was insane with eagerness. In the next twenty minutes, she would be here. He had been thinking about her way more than he should. It was bad for him but he couldn't help it. He knew there was a logical explanation for his misplaced emotions but he didn't have the time to think things through. He paced the room, making sure everything was in place. Nathaniel was thankful his roommate was at his parent's place for the weekend, couldn't a ord anyone messing up his game.
The knock on the door made him frisson with antic.i.p.ation. He took in a long hard breath and headed straight to the door. She was in a owery skirt, her hair packed in a ponytail and those eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. She wore sandals that had little crystals on them and lemon toes nails that peeked out from the cute footwear. He cleared his throat as he let her in.
She took in her ll quickly. Olaitan liked the fact he was neat or could it be he was just trying to impress her? Did she care? h.e.l.l no! Swiftly she spun and her colourful skirt swayed with her, she caught him staring at her and this caused her stomach to utter with a warm sensation. She ung her bag and threw her arms around his neck, her lips merging with his. He literally swept her o her feet and she gasped in response, a smile tugged at the corners of her trembling lips. She would be a fool not to imagine her having the best s.e.x of her life.
Hastily, he helped her with her clothes and she was obliged to do the same, her hands quavered in fervour. Breath rasped and her legs wobbly from too much adrenaline; she stared at his naked body and he smirked at her reaction. Swiftly, he pulled her to him, his hot body burned her. The smell of his skin was intoxicating, every doubt she had melted away in an instance and the only thing she could think of was wrapping her strong legs around him.
Nathaniel kissed her, thrusting his tongue in her mouth. He stroked her warm silky body, and she relished the way his teeth sunk into her skin. The sting made her brain rattle with desire. She was out of her mind—out of this world. He nibbled on her neck then took his time on each of her nipples, she launched her chest forward and was crazed with ache.
Every nerve in her body responded to his strokes, with him she found countless release, which she never thought was possible. Nathaniel pleasured her in di erent positions, found her sweet spots and took advantage of it. He was the kind of man her mother would warn her about, the kind of man that guarded himself with secrets. He pumped himself into her, savouring her warmth. She wondered where he had been all her life. Legs wrapped around him, he made her sing to the heavens, made her body hum with pleasure.
She inhaled sharply, couldn't believe she was by his side, on his bed and had touched her in secret places and depth no one had dared to explore. Her cheeks grew hot as she thought deeply. Never would she have imagined doing the things, she had just partic.i.p.ated in. She was a proper lady, 'a mummy's girl'.
Nathaniel watched her keenly, the odd way she bit her lower lips, trying in vain to hide a smile; she was something else. Staring at her naked body, he felt himself want her again. He stood, her eyes scanning his body in delight. He could tell she was just as excited as he was. Seductively he led her to the bathroom, and then slowly washed himself o her.
Olaitan watched the deliberate manner in which he ma.s.saged her skin with the lavender soap, it made her heart skip a beat. No man she'd been involved with had done something so thoughtful, not even her ex. Olaitan swallowed hard as she felt herself overwhelmed with feelings she tried so hard to bury.
Olaitan didn't understand why she couldn't bear the thought of losing him, could s.e.x make her fall for this magni cent man? He took care of her, touched her cheeks and planted short kisses on her forehead as water ran down her body. He understood she didn't want her hair wet and help avoid the gushing water from soaking her extensions, could he be any more perfect than he was? She froze when she discovered what was happening between them, what the f.u.c.k was she feeling?
Olaitan should have known, she didn't have the heart to have this kind of agreement without feelings involved. She was just not that kind of person, what if he didn't feel the same way about her? How the h.e.l.l was she going to cope? She shook o such wistful thoughts. It was a bad idea to start pondering on what ifs; that was her problem, she thinks too much.
The truth was Olaitan realized she wanted more, even though she saw some reluctance in his eyes. All that didn't matter at that point in time. She hated herself for having such feelings, but the idea of sharing something more than s.e.x with him seemed blissful. She felt a pinch of sadness as she thought she'd made a mess of things. He looked at her and smiled as if reading her mind, "I want to see you again and I had a good time," he said.
Olaitan blushed as she giggled, gently stroking his chest and gathering lather on his torso. She kept trying to convince herself that what she felt for him was merely physical and he was simply the perfect specimen to chop from, but the troubling question was; could she do this long enough without falling hard for him?
After a few visits—things began to heat up, hidden feelings and pleasures dared arouse fantasy of 'forever'. The agreement was easy, NO FEELINGS ATTACHED. They were both clear on that but her heart wouldn't let her be; she tried suppressing the feelings that churned in her chest. Shame on her for wanting more, after all she was the one who suggested this dumb arrangement. She was angry at the situation but especially mad at herself, what was she going to do? She couldn't tell him what she felt and couldn't stop seeing him.
Olaitan knocked the third time, her knuckles tingled with a dull ache. She sucked on her lower lip as her ears caught the sound of his footsteps. She touched her chest and feared her heart was a ticking bomb, her stomach turned to lava waiting for the slightest cause to explode. He stood facing her, with a raised brow. He bit his lips in delight and threw her a wink that nearly left her breathless. She sighed as her eyes glued to him, like a trap does to rodents. He pulled her to him, his well-toned body hardened against her and she gasped in response. Take me! Take me now! She thought.
He leered at Olaitan and quickly his hot mouth descended on hers; she softly moaned in surrender—o ering all she could give.
Things began to change, she noticed there were times he made love to her, taking his time to pleasure and explore every part of her. Maybe it was her imagination but the way he caressed her cheeks and the glint in his eyes convinced her he might feel something.
They both lay on the bed exhausted, his mind reminisced to her silky esh and how wonderfully tight she was around him. He felt himself solid at the very thought, but when he glanced at her, she was bushed. Olaitan was pa.s.sionate, and that was something he wanted and adored in a woman. She was not his only partner but she was special. He still had other girls that occupied his time but ever since he had met Olaitan, he didn't enjoy s.e.x with them as much as he used to. Nathaniel opened his drawer and popped a pill, he walked to the other side of the room to get a sachet water. Olaitan collected it and swallowed.
She wiped o the liquid that lingered at the corners of her lips, then her eyes rested on her thin long ngers. They barely talked, it was something she would like to change. She was aware he was a man of little words. Olaitan on the other hand liked to talk but cautioned herself around him.
Nathaniel enjoyed staring at her when she wasn't looking, trying to understand the series of expression her face mustered. She was naked, covered in perspiration. He watched the rise and fall of her chest with the corners of his eyes. She was what he called temptress.
Nathaniel had come to realize, whenever Olaitan was nervous she played with her ngers and she was indulging in the habit frequently, he couldn't help but think she was bothered. He knew of the growing distance between them, she barely even looked at him. Had she grown tired of him already? Or had she found someone else? Anger pulsed in his head, and his left hand curled in a st. If that was the case she should inform him and stop wasting his time. He didn't understand why he was bothered by the notion of her with another man, could it be he had feelings for her? He shook his head. He wouldn't allow such weakness; he was better than that. They weren't exclusive, so she had the right to have other a airs.
Olaitan wondered if he had second thoughts. Perhaps he didn't want her around anymore. Did he realize her feelings for him? As soon as she snapped out of her thoughts, she noticed his hand was stretched in front of her, encouraging her to take it. She was so preoccupied she didn't see him stand, she reluctantly took his hand—careful not to get too close. The smell of his skin was avoured with machismo, it made her knees jelly-like. It was quite distracting and she needed her mind at its sharpest, if she ever wanted to handle situation perfectly.
Nathaniel watched her; he moved closer and felt her freeze by his nearness. He touched her cheeks, they were as soft as cotton and the taste of her lips was strikingly pleasant. She had too much power over him and wondered if she was aware of it. He was afraid she would use it to her advantage.
"I will have my bath, alone!" she emphasized on 'alone', as if implying she couldn't stand the very sight of him. It felt like a big slap on his face, for brief seconds his mouth slightly opened in shock. He nodded in response, not sure he could speak. She always let him bathe her. Let him touch her and feel the texture of her skin. What else would she deprive him of? Her body? Her willingness? What else? He was furious but masked his emotions with a small smile.
She was out of the bathroom after 10 minutes and was wrapped in his brown towel; why the 'f.u.c.k' was she covering herself from him? Something was wrong; he felt the tension between them swell like a cake stu ed in an oven. She picked her scattered clothes on the oor then dashed back to the bathroom. Olaitan stood in front him fully dressed, she grabbed her bag and threw him a shaky smile before turning to leave. He didn't understand her at all. What did she want? Had he done something to hurt her feelings? Why the cold treatment? Curiosity being a maddening thing, drove him to obstruct her path to the door.
"What is wrong?" hands stretched, preventing her from leaving and his eyes rmly held hers.
"Nothing" she stared at her feet and wouldn't even look at him. He had come to learn of the little tricks women pull. When a woman said 'nothing' there is a ninety-nine percent chance it was a big problem.
"Really?" he yelled "you are driving me crazy, you know that. I don't understand what I have done wrong."
"Nothing! That is the problem, there's nothing you have done," she raised her voice and her chest ached from unleashed emotions.
"I don't understand!" he blinked several times, she didn't make sense. Olaitan shook her head, how could she explain she was falling hard for him? Why was he so blind? How could he not see how much she felt—how much she desired him? "I think I am in love with you" she blurted, at some point she resisted the urge to cover her mouth.
"What!"
"But how can this happen? What do you mean? I thought we had an agreement to s.h.a.g only, weren't you the one who suggested the idea at rst?"
"What do you mean by that statement? Things happen, that's how life works. Why are you taking this over the top? You asked me what was wrong and I told you, so what were you expecting me to say?" She folded her arms and stared blankly at him.
"I didn't expect this from you, I thought you were mature and knew how to control your emotions" he frowned, "love my foot, we both enjoy s.e.x with each other and that is what it will ever be, why spoil things? What do you want?" he shouted in frustration
Olaitan stared at him, eyes gleamed with unshed tears and shoulders slouched in defeat. She should have known better; she should have been smart.
"I am telling you I want more from you; I want us to have something special. I don't want to be the girl you screw all the time with no emotions involved" she stated, her throat hurt from holding back tears.
She was afraid of what he'd say to her, frightened he would reject her. She couldn't take it, maybe if she pled with him to understand things could work out— perhaps he might listen, but she had her pride. A woman shouldn't go on her knees to beg for a ection, it was demeaning—she wouldn't do that no matter how much she wanted him.
"Don't get crazy on me".
"I don't know what to say", she shook her head. "I was not thinking, apparently" she sighed.
"I should have known better" he said softly, almost like a whisper "there is no such thing as friends with bene ts, someone tends to get burned by this crazy agreement. I don't stick with the same girl, if I wanted drama I would be in a relationship."
"And I guess that person is me", she nodded and her lips pursed. "I am sorry, I was so stupid to think you could actually feel the same way", she gulped hard, blinking o the tears that spilled mercilessly.
"Don't take it that way" he moved closer to her but she motioned him to halt.
"You should know this is my rst time doing this, I am always quick to feel and…" soft sobs broke from her "I was in a relationship and it didn't end well and I just…t...thought you could help me forget the hurt I felt", she covered her face with her trembling hands.
"I don't know what to say", his hands dropped and he slightly shook his head in disappointment.
"You know what", she stared rebelliously at him, angry at the situation. Yes! She needed that, anger was so much better than regret "I thought you were man enough to handle this, being a man is not all about s.e.x but also taking responsibility and not be afraid to feel every once in a while. I am not sorry I fell in love but I am sorry I fell for the wrong man" she scurried out of the room.