Blackwood Farm Part 38

"Goblin took his chair beside me. His face was blank, and he didn't try to touch the keyboard. He watched the screen as I worked.

"I didn't speak to him. He knew that I loved him. But he knew as well that I was yielding to the blandishments of an ever broadening world.

"Yes, I feared the stranger, but now the very devil had potently excited me. I was going mad.

"I wrote up a total renovation proposal for the Hermitage, going into detail as to how everything was to be done and spelling out the fine points as best I could, depending on my memory. I a.s.sumed Allen and the Shed Men would be doing everything, bringing in outside contractors only when they had to, so I went into greater detail possibly than they would need.

"I chose Roman red paint for the exterior, with dark green for the trim on the window and doors, and the finest veined white marble tile with black grout for the interior floors and for the front stairs descending to a broad terrace of white marble which should go down to the landing-and indeed, they should build a proper landing-and ordered a new bronze stairway to go between the stories and up to the cupola as well. This would be a gorgeous and costly retreat when I finished. But it would be more in keeping now with the strange gold tomb.

"As for the furnishings, I would order them from the same catalogs we used for Blackwood Manor, and of course I'd go over to Hurwitz Mintz in New Orleans to check their fine stock for choice pieces. I wanted torchere lamps everywhere and marble-top tables galore, as I had dreamed and as my strange and cunning partner had directed.

"When I thought this over, when I caught myself in the very act of calling him a partner, I paused and reflected, and I remembered that moment in the moonlight, and I knew what I had seen. There was no mistaking it. And then there came back to me the memory of his earlier attack on me, and of the letter he had written. And how he had just held me helpless only a short time ago. He had told me that he would kill me if I didn't follow his instructions. Did I believe him?

"Of course I hated him. And I feared him. But not enough.

"I should have been far more cautious. I should have backed away from the venture. I should have loathed him. But what I had told Aunt Queen was true. I wanted these renovations. I wanted this rebirth of the Hermitage, and one of my greatest problems had been solved, and that was how to deal with the mysterious stranger. I didn't have to battle the man for the place. We now had a partnership. And so I proceeded. Was I half in love with this monster? Was that the secret truth?

"I even remembered the man's advice to discourage hired workmen from going to the island, or 200.

rather to put a wreath of mystery about it, and I wrote this into the scheme.

"Lastly, I wrote about what must be done first --the cleaning and polishing of the mausoleum, and wrote out the solemn stricture that it must never be opened again.

"Finally I finished my written plan for the renovations.

"I printed out the requisite copies. Then I drew a clean design for a sumptuous granite bathroom to be built onto the back of the round Hermitage, occupying no more width than one window, and, copying this four times by means of my fax machine, I finished my official plans.

"At this point Goblin spoke: 'Evil, Quinn,' he said. 'Quinn Goblin will die in any direction.'

"I turned and looked at him and saw in his face a cold hard expression much as I'd often seen in him for the last few days. There was none of the old love or warmth or playfulness.

" 'How do you mean Quinn Goblin will die?' I asked. 'We won't let that happen, old buddy. We won't. I'm pledging that to you. Can you understand my words? They come from my heart.'

" 'They all want you,' he replied in his monotone. 'Mona wants you. Rebecca wants you. Aunt Queen wants you. Nash wants you. The stranger wants you. Any direction and Quinn Goblin dies.'

" 'We'll never be separated,' I said confidentially. 'Perhaps they simply don't know how strong the bond is between us. But we know.'

"His expression remained cold, and then very slowly he dissolved.

"I had the distinct impression that he had dissolved of his own accord, not because he had to, and that he wanted me to know this, that he had withdrawn, and indeed I did feel the sting of it.

" 'It's true what I told you,' I said. 'Only you can make us die, only you can divide us, and that would be by leaving me.'

"Whether he was near or far, whether he had heard what I said, I had no clue. And I was too madly excited to care about him.

"I hurried downstairs to place a copy of my scheme with Aunt Queen, who received the work agreeably enough, and then I went out to find Allen's mailbox in the shed, and I put a copy in there for him. Allen was the head of the craftsmen, as I've indicated. He'd see that the work was done. I put a copy in Clem's box as a courtesy, as Clem was actually the boss, and then I headed back to the house.

"As I crossed the back terrace a wave of giddiness came over me. And when I look back on that moment --when I remember the starlight and the warm air, and the light streaming out of the kitchen door to greet me, when I remember the feeling of charged excitement, I remember how very alive I felt, how in love with Mona and how foolishly excited I was by the mysterious stranger, and how I held myself to be invincible even in the face of strong evidence that I was not.

"Goblin's strange words meant nothing to me, absolutely nothing. In fact, I even suspected him of the most base jealousy, and all of his recent behavior seemed cause to doubt his love. Yes, I was drawing away from him. Yes, Goblin Quinn was going to die. It had to happen because Manhood was going to make it happen.

"And on the battlefield of Manhood, Mona was my Princess and the Mysterious Stranger a dark knight riding near me or even against me in a joust of which I was only just learning the rules.

"We would come to know each other, the dark knight and myself. We would talk together in the Hermitage. I would penetrate the illusion of the bodies being given over to the dark waters. I would discover that it had been a sort of dream. Anything so very bad had to be a dream. Take Rebecca for instance. Rebecca came in dreams.

"What more could I do for poor Rebecca? Of course I could not give her 'a life for a life, a death for a death.'

"I went back upstairs. The windows were closed. The air-conditioning hummed. No sign of Goblin. I went to the window and looked down on the west lawn. I could see in the distance the dim white shapes of the cemetery in the moonlight. I said a prayer for Rebecca, that her soul was in Heaven with G.o.d.

201.

"Very reluctantly I lay down to sleep beside Big Ramona, and when I woke it was to the murky dawn, and I had the heavy tasks of Manhood upon me."

29.

"MY FIRST MANLY TASK WAS to get to the Hermitage, and I wasn't fool enough to think I could collect those rusted chains alone. I took Allen with me. The Shed Men always arrived around six o'clock, so they could go home at three, and when I told him where we were headed he was convivial and all but hopped into the pirogue with me.

"It was and still is Allen's nature to find everything in life pleasurable. He's a big roundly built man with neat white hair combed to one side, and silver-rimmed gla.s.ses and a perpetual smile; he plays Santa Claus at Christmas parties with huge success.

"Anyway, when we reached the Hermitage it wasn't seven o'clock yet, and we went to our task with the best tools we had and soon gathered up all the rusted chains, dragging them down the steps after us.

"I had to force myself to set out for home, so strong was my fascination with the Hermitage, but I knew I had much to do this day and so after a little walk around, during which time I imagined my renovations with great approval and success, we were in the pirogue again.

"When we got back to the landing and I told Allen we were going to bury the chain with Rebecca's remains he went into a state of sustained hilarity.

"Nevertheless, I dug deep in the soil. I found the casket. I made the hole very very wide. I wreathed the chains around the casket. And then Allen helped me fill in the dirt and the headstone was replaced, and as I said my prayers Allen prayed with me.

"I felt no shimmer of Rebecca. I felt no dizziness. But as I stood there in the still morning I felt sorrow for all the ghosts I had seen in the cemetery over the years and wondered if I was fated to be a roaming spirit after my death.

"Nothing like that had ever occurred to me before. But I thought of it now. I said another long silent prayer for Rebecca and then I whispered, 'Go into the Light.'

"And so my first manly task had been completed.

"On to the second: of course Allen knew where Terry Sue lived, and to that spot we drove in the Mercedes. I told Allen I would go in alone, but even before entering the trailer I had a fair idea that Grady Breen, our attorney, had not exaggerated the state of ongoing disaster.

"There were the rusted ruined automobiles that he had described, one an old limousine and the other a pickup truck, neither with any tires, and two toddlers were roaming the yard, both with filthy faces and diapers.

"I knocked, then went in. Tucked at the very end of the trailer there was a voluptuous woman in the bed, a woman with the face of a big china doll, nursing a baby, and a little girl, perhaps ten years old and barefoot, was stirring a pot on the stove of what looked and smelled like grits. The little girl's arms were covered in bruises and she had a shy fearful manner to her. She had a pretty face and long black hair.

"The closeness of the place, the crowded damp feel of it was overwhelming. And so was the smell. I can best describe it as a mixture of urine, vomit and mildew. There might have been some rotten fruit in the recipe. And certainly there was excrement as well.

202.

" 'I'm sorry to break in on you like this,' I said to the woman. I felt like a giant under the low ceiling. 'Congratulations on your new baby.'

" 'Did you bring any money?' she asked. Her face stayed lovely --she looked like a Renaissance Madonna --but her voice was full of meanness, or maybe it was just practicality. 'I'm broke and Charlie's walked out on me again,' she said. 'My st.i.tches are torn and I'm running a fever.'

" 'Yeah, I have plenty money,' I said. I reached into my pockets and took out the thousand dollars I'd taken out of the kitchen petty cash box. She was appropriately flabbergasted. She took it with her left hand and shoved it in a pocket under the covers. Or just under the covers.

"The baby was miraculous. I had never seen one so tiny, so nearly newborn. Its little wrinkly new hands were marvelous. It already had a head of dark wispy hair. My heart went out to it.

" 'Brittany, hurry up with that grits,' said the woman, 'and go get those kids, I'm going to need you to walk into town and get some groceries.' She looked up at me. 'You want some breakfast? This child cooks the best breakfast. Brittany, put on the bacon. Go get those kids.'

" 'I'll take her into town,' I said. 'Where's Tommy?'

" 'Out in the woods,' she said in a sardonic tone. 'Like he always is. Reading a picture book. I told him if he didn't take that book back to the store he was going to go to jail. They're going to come get him. He stole that book. And they knew he did. That woman at the store is as crazy as he is. They're going to come get him. And they ought to take her to jail too.'

" 'Does he have any other books?' I asked.

" 'Who's got money for books?' she asked. She was becoming incensed. 'Look around this place. See that broken window? Look over there. Look real good. See that little girl? She don't talk. Brittany, give Bethany some grits. What happened to the coffee? Sit down here at the table. Just move that stuff. This child makes the best coffee. I'm telling you, I thank G.o.d every day that he sent me Brittany, and he sent her first. Brittany, go get Matthew and Jonas. I done told you twice to do that! This baby's wet. Hurry up about it. I don't have money for books. My washing machine's been broken for two months. Pops never gave me money for books.'

" 'All right,' I told her. 'I'll be back.' I went out into the woods. It wasn't dense, just the spinally piney woods in these parts where there aren't many live oaks. I could see this little boy sitting on a log and he was reading.

"He had black curly hair like mine and he was lean yet well proportioned. He had sharp blue eyes when he looked at me. The book was about art. It was open to Van Gogh's Starry Night Starry Night.

"The boy had on a dirty polo shirt and jeans, and there was a huge black-and-blue mark on his face and one on his arm. On the back of his left hand was a visible burn.

" 'Did Charlie hit you?' I asked.

"He didn't answer me.

" 'Did he push your hand against the heater?' I asked.

"He didn't answer. He turned the page. A painting by Gauguin.

"I said, 'Everything's going to change. I'm your kin. I'm Pops' grandson and you're Pops' son, you know that, don't you?'

"He didn't say anything. Obdurately he looked back at his book and again he turned the page. A painting by Seurat.

"I told him my name. I told him everything would be better. I was about to leave him when I said, 'One day you'll get to go to Amsterdam to see Van Gogh's work in person.'

" 'I'd settle for New York,' he fired back, 'so I could see all the Impressionists and the Expressionists at the Met.'

"I was stunned. His words were so clear, so crisp.

" 'You're some kind of genius,' I said.

" 'No, I'm not,' he said. 'I just read a lot. I read all I wanted to read in the branch library and now 203.

I'm working on the Books-a-Million store in Mapleville, where I go to school. My favorite books are about art. Couple of times, Pops brought me books on art.'

"That was an astounding revelation. Pops and books on art. Where would Pops get books on art? What did Pops know of books on art? Yet he had done it for this b.a.s.t.a.r.d son whom he allowed to live in squalor in this place.

"Thank G.o.d I still had some more money, about fifty dollars. 'Here,' I said. 'This will work wonders at the bargain table. Don't steal anymore.'

" 'I never stole,' he said. 'That's my mother talking. You listen to my mother and you'd think Charlie pushed my hand up against the heater.'

" 'Gotcha. The point is, you can buy some to own with that.'

" 'Who's your favorite painter in the whole world?' he asked.

" 'Hard to say,' I answered.

" 'Like if you could only save one painting from the Third World War,' he pushed, 'what would it be?'

" 'Have to be Renaissance. Have to be a Madonna,' I replied, 'but I'm not sure which one. Probably one by Botticelli, but then maybe Fra Filippo Lippi. But there are others. Just not sure.' I thought of the beautiful woman inside nursing the baby. I wanted to mention her in connection to a Madonna but I didn't.

"He nodded. 'I'd save Durer,' he said. 'Salvador Mundi --you know, the face of Christ with the hair parted in the middle.'

" 'That's a good choice,' I said. 'Maybe much better than mine.' I hesitated. We'd come a lot further in this conversation than I'd thought possible when I drove out here. 'Listen to me,' I said.

'Would you like to go off to a good school, a boarding school, you know, get a fine education, get out of here?'

" 'I can't leave Brittany,' he said. 'Wouldn't be fair.'

" 'What about the others?'

" 'I don't know,' he answered. He sighed like a big man with a big burden. 'My mother, she doesn't really want us,' he said. 'She wasn't so bad when Brittany and I were little. But now that there's all the others, she hits us a lot. I have to get between her and Brittany and sometimes I can't do it. I don't let her hit the little ones at all. I just take the belt right out of her hand.'

"I was revolted, but I had no solution. I had all my life heard that there are real problems with the welfare system and with the foster care system, and I didn't know what to do.

" 'I understand,' I responded. 'You can't leave them behind.'

" 'That's right,' he said. 'I'm going to a better school now than Brittany but she's getting a good education. I can tell you that much. She does her homework and she's smart. I don't know the answer.'

" 'Well, listen to me,' I said. 'I'm not going to forget about you. I'll come back with more money. Maybe I can make everything better for your mother and all of you, and she won't want to hit the children.'

" 'How would you do that?'

" 'Let me think on it, but believe me. I will be back. Good-bye, Uncle Tommy.'

"That brought the first smile out of him, and as I waved he waved back.

"Then he jumped off the log and he ran after me. I stopped, of course, to let him catch up.

" 'Hey, do you believe in the lost kingdom of Atlantis?' he asked.

" 'Well, I do believe it's lost, but I don't know if I believe it's real,' I said.

"He laughed a real belly laugh.

" 'What do you think, Tommy? Do you believe in it?'

"He nodded. 'I hope to find the ruins actually,' he said. 'I want to lead a party to find it. You know, an underwater expedition.'